Would you have shushed your child?

[disnygoof]

I would've called her a monkey, too Similar situation kind of happened a few weeks ago. A grandma was outside having a smoke and her grandaughter was sitting there on the sidewalk with a My Little Pony. Apparently "****" was the word of the day (you know how kids are the first time they hear a word like that, they use it a million times). So she called me a "****" a few times and the grandma just sat there, acting like nothing was happening. So I stopped, stuck my tongue out at her and told her she was a ****, too! She was shocked and didn't know what to say! Guess she didn't like the taste of her own medicine I know she was just being silly, but the grandma should've said something. Otherwise, the kid will think it's okay to call people names.

 

[disnygoof]

LOL, I didn't think that would be bleeped out! It's the slang word for "breast" LOL

 

[Michie]

why didn't you say something when you saw this was bothering your child?

 

[LadyTrampScamp&Angel]

I could have written EthansMom's post - that's exactly what I'd have done also.

Another thought - I've had to explain to my kid's that sometimes people say mean things because there might be a little jealousy or envy going on?

 

[tiggersmom2]

Yes, I would have told my son that it was not nice to say that and made him apologize. That stuff really hurts kids that age. My son actually cried at Pre-K yesterday becauase another boy told him he was ugly.

It hurts my heart to see our babies hurt. Ick....I wish kids didn't have to be so darned mean.

 

[DisneyLovingMama]

why didn't you say something when you saw this was bothering your child?

I explained why above - by the time it really got hurtful, the little girl was screaming. Couldn't very well scream back. I did say something to DD and we talked about it and her.

 

[lbgraves]

Unfortunantly not every parent is going to correct their child when they are being mean or doing harm to another. I have learned that there are times that I need to step in & say something. If their parent doesn't like it...too bad. I never enjoyed visiting BIL & SIL because of this. They have a boys will be boys attitude & allowed their 8 yo DS to beat up on their 4 yo DS. I wasn't going to put up with him picking on my kids & finally I had enough of him picking at his younger brother.

I hope that your DD is feeling better today. (((HUGS))) Their feelings are definitely sensitive at this age. I am trying to convince DD5 that she is not fat. A girl in her class has been telling her that and DD finally asked me about it this week.

 

[DisneyLovingMama]

Another thought - I've had to explain to my kid's that sometimes people say mean things because there might be a little jealousy or envy going on?

That's funny -- I tried to explain the jealousy concept to DD today (in relation to her brother). She didn't get it.

 

[Michie]

I would have said something if the girl was walking with us the whole time. Like I said, the first time DD did a good job of laughing and saying, "No, I don't!". But, then we passed the girl and that's when she went sing-songy and DD started getting upset. Also, I think the sing-songy turned it from a "kidding around" situation to actually being mean. Anyway, at that point, I couldn't say anything without making it a MUCH bigger deal for all involved. Plus, I hate the idea of reprimanding another child when the mother is right there. I would never want someone doing that to my DD in my presence.

In the car, I did talk to DD about standing up for herself and not letting kids like this girl bother her. DD has long blonde hair and beautiful blue yes. She in no way looks like a monkey.

I dont mean to offend you... but how is she going to learn how to stand up for herslef, if you don't stand up for her? You let this little girl take control of the situation, screaming or not.

 

[DisneyLovingMama]

I dont mean to offend you... but how is she going to learn how to stand up for herslef, if you don't stand up for her? You let this little girl take control of the situation, screaming or not.

I'm not offended, and DD knows I have her back. I just don't agree that, in a Mom's presence, I should have turned around, marched backed to the little girl and called her out. When DD and the little girl were one-on-one, DD did defend herself, which I commended her on. She wasn't rude, didn't resort to name calling and just stated the obvious (She doesn't look like a monkey).

I controlled my daughter's reaction and feeling afterwards, which I think is the best I could have done in the situation, given the way it played out. If it played out differently (physical back and forth, or we were walking with them the entire way to our car), I would have done things differently.

DD is fine now - she had forgotten it by the time we got home. It just still sits with me.

 

[Michie]

I'm not offended, and DD knows I have her back. I just don't agree that, in a Mom's presence, I should have turned around, marched backed to the little girl and called her out. When DD and the little girl were one-on-one, DD did defend herself, which I commended her on. She wasn't rude, didn't resort to name calling and just stated the obvious (She doesn't look like a monkey).

I controlled my daughter's reaction and feeling afterwards, which I think is the best I could have done in the situation, given the way it played out. If it played out differently (physical back and forth, or we were walking with them the entire way to our car), I would have done things differently.

DD is fine now - she had forgotten it by the time we got home. It just still sits with me.

I understand that. I probably would have said something like..oh my, I know you are teasing, but you better stop before the principla/teacher hears you, and you get in trouble...

As soon as my DD walks out of the building, I am dragging her to my vehicle for I can beat the other moms out of the parking lot.

 

[DisneyLovingMama]

I understand that. I probably would have said something like..oh my, I know you are teasing, but you better stop before the principla/teacher hears you, and you get in trouble...

That's good. Not that I'd think it'd matter to this little girl. I'll be keeping my ears (and eyes) open a lot more when I'm dropping off and picking up.

 

[Stacey2grls]

I have a DD 5, and I know that I would never allow her to make fun of someone. Whenever my girls are rude, or call each other names, I put an immediate stop to it, so it must be in this girls family that this is accepted. Some people are just clueless, I would have "been all over my kid like a cheap suit" for being mean.

 

[Stacerita]

I would have shushed her if she was my kid. I dont tolerate that kind of stuff. Im not saying that my kid hasn't done that, shes a kid. But I dont tolerate it when Im around.

But your DD needs to tell the girl to stop right from the start. Sounds like the girl is a bit of a brat and somewhat of a bully. Your DD needs to let her know that she will not allow herself to be put down like that. Kids who stand up for themselves generally dont keep getting called names. It might have started as harmless, but in seeing that your DD didn't stop the girl she kept on. DD probably didnt want to make it an issue and just let it go even though it bothered her (im assuming). Unfortunately, some kids see that as a weekness and a green light to keep it up.

That mother should have told her to stop right away. Just not right to let her keep it up that long. I definately would have said someting if the sweetpea hadn't said anything first.

 

[kristen821]

The girl is a borderline bully - she is a little older than DD and is one of the tallest in the class. She's pretty immature and is in trouble a lot. But, DD and she spend a lot of time together becuase they go to karate together, as well. It's hard to say if they are friends.

I think you did the right thing. I couldn't yell at the other child with the mother there either if I was in your situation.
Since your dd doesn't look like a monkey I am sure the other girl didn't mean it literally. I am sure it is either her way of trying to make your dd laugh, which it didn't so the other mother should have stepped in or it was to get your dd upset since she is borderline bully. In that case your dd will have to learn to stick up for herself or ignore the bully. She can't let the bully know it bothers her so the bully will stop. If the bully gets no reaction it will stop. Tell your dd to say "thank you" or "monkey's must be very pretty" I wish you and your dd a lot of luck, because this is a very hard situation to be in for a 5 year old.

 

[Stitchfans]

That mother was rude and should of told her daughter to hush. I for one would of made it clear in front of the mother that I thought her daughter was a mean little brat.

 

[Disney1fan2002]

Oh my! I finally know how bullies are created. That is HORRIBLE.

to your poor DD.

 

[TheRatPack]

I've corrected other kids (politely of course ) in front of their parents. Sometimes parents might zone out what their kids are saying. Maybe the mom was preoccupied and really didn't fully understand what was going on?

I still would have just politely said "That's not a very nice thing to say to someone" or just a simple "wow, that's not very nice". If the parent of that child gets mad then so be it....maybe that child will remember you telling her what is right and wrong though and not hurt some other childs feelings.

Oh and children learn what they are taught, or witness to so even if the parent gets mad.....they were probably bullies at that age too, hence not seeing anything wrong with their childs actions. And that is a really young age, they could be friends the next week. I've seen some bully type kids in my childrens classrooms that grow up and are great young adults, but then some that just keep on pushing buttons no matter what you say. And those are the ones you just have to teach your children to ignore.

 

[daisyduck123]

You bet I would have!!

I 'm a teacher so I'm used to saying things to any kid I see doing something that's not nice.

I would have said something like, "Oh, we can find something nice to say".

For me, it's second nature...stuff like that pops out of my mouth all the time.

 

[crz4mm2]

Oh yeah, I would have told my kid to hush it up.....if that didn't work a smack sure would.