Would you have shushed your child?

[DisneyLovingMama]

On our way of out of school today, one of DD5's classmates told her she looked like a monkey. DD laughed it off at first, but the girl kept it up, in sing-song, the entire time we walked to our car. (She was actually singing at the top of her lungs, since our car was 5 or 6 cars from hers). The girl's Mom was right there, but just gave me a "Kids! What can you do?" look. DD was sulking by the time we got buckled in, so it took some convincing from me (and my best monkey face) to get her to believe she didn't look like a monkey.

I'm just aggraveted the Mom didn't say anything to shush her child. I would have had DD apologizing right there and then and would NOT be taking her to see Eight Below, like this Mom was taking her DD.

Different strokes, I guess.

 

[Mimi Q]

Yes, I definitely would have shushed her.

 

[N.Bailey]

I probably would have given the mother every opportunity to intervene, but when that didn't happen, I would have looked right at the little girl and said, "my gosh, you're a pretty mean little girl!" That woulda done her in. Both adults failure to intervene IMO just enables kids to keep on doing whatever they want.

I know some might have a problem with the way I'd have handled it as she's only 5, but after the mother obviously didn't think it was her job. I'd have made it mine.

 

[Twinkles6892]

Your poor DD. I've never met a child who looked like a monkey.

Ever.

Except maybe monkey boy's baby pics

 

[tekmom]

I would have looked at that kid and pleasantly said, "that's not a very nice thing to say." That would have been enough to get the hint to oblivo-mom that her kid should shut up. Yes, kids can be cruel but parents that hear that sort of thing should say something to their kid. Sorry for that happening to your DD.

 

[DisneyNutMary]

If that were my child, there would have been some pulling aside private conversation about how rude it it to tell a friend that she looks like a monkey.

The other mother was rude not to correct her child in that situation. Kids are sensitive at that age, the parents really should teach better manners.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

I agree that the other mother should have told her DD not to say that. When she didn't, if I had of been you, I would have spoken up to the girl. I wouldn't have been too rude to her, but I would have gently, teasingly said said something back to her (either something like, "I don't think she likes to be called a monkey, would you?"or "if she's a monkey, what animal are you?"). As far as the movie, the girl is only 5yo--she should have been corrected, but it doesn't seem like something she should have missed a movie for.

Also, if there had of been a chance, I would have had my child tell her to quit calling her names. I try to teach my kids to handle these situations and what better time than when you are right there. Not sure if there was really a chance in this case, though.

 

[Sleeping~Beauty]

Disneylovingmama, I'd feel the same way. The mother should have had her daughter stop.

 

[kristen821]

It depends on if she was doing it to mean or doing it to be funny. I call my kids monkeys all the time when they are climbing. If I could see it was bothering the other child I would have put a stop to it.

 

[tiggersmom2]

Oh yeah, I would have told my kid to hush it up.....if that didn't work a smack sure would.

 

[KristaTX]

Yes, I would have told a child that saying something like that is inappropriate and to stop.

But it seems like a natural thing for a child to just think. They just have to learn not to say it. I have seen lots of people of all ages and races whose faces remind me of certain kinds of animals. You know - like how some people look like their pets . I've even seen people whose faces remind me of certain types of cars.

 

[Beth76]

I probably would have given the mother every opportunity to intervene, but when that didn't happen, I would have looked right at the little girl and said, "my gosh, you're a pretty mean little girl!"

As tempting as that sounds, I can see a lawsuit coming out of that comment.

Perhaps instead of directly commenting to the little girl, I would have just loudly said to my child, "you shouldn't listen to what mean kids say". And absolutely would my child NOT be able to even finish a sentence like that. He would have been shushed, reprimaned and made to apologize.

 

[Southern4sure]

That is one bad kid.....

 

[dmslush]

dd would have been in a world of trouble. She would have to apoligized on the spot and would have been punished.

 

[EthansMom]

If I were the girl's mother, I would not only have told her that her words and actions were not appropriate, but I would have made her apologize and then on the way home, we would have had a discussion about how it makes her feel when people make fun of her.

If I had been in your shoes, I would have told the girl, in a calm but chiding tone, "Now, that's not very nice. You wouldn't like it if someone called you names, would you?" and then on the way home, I would have had a discussion with DD about how she needs to ignore kids who are mean and just stay away from them.

to your daughter.

 

[Aidensmom]

Yes, I would have told my son that it was not nice to say that and made him apologize. That stuff really hurts kids that age. My son actually cried at Pre-K yesterday becauase another boy told him he was ugly.

 

[kristen821]

Could it be possible that she wasn't saying it to be mean? Is your dd friends with her?

 

[DisneyLovingMama]

I would have said something if the girl was walking with us the whole time. Like I said, the first time DD did a good job of laughing and saying, "No, I don't!". But, then we passed the girl and that's when she went sing-songy and DD started getting upset. Also, I think the sing-songy turned it from a "kidding around" situation to actually being mean. Anyway, at that point, I couldn't say anything without making it a MUCH bigger deal for all involved. Plus, I hate the idea of reprimanding another child when the mother is right there. I would never want someone doing that to my DD in my presence.

In the car, I did talk to DD about standing up for herself and not letting kids like this girl bother her. DD has long blonde hair and beautiful blue yes. She in no way looks like a monkey.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

I don't understand. It seems to me what should have happened is that the other girl should have been stopped by her mom, told to apologize and then it would have been over. No punishment.

Maybe the mother could have talked to her later about hurting the feelings of others, not because she was her friend as much as because she was another person. And the OP could have talked to her DD about how it felt to be on the receiving end of that and she would have learned a lesson, too. Not saying that she normally dishes it out, but it's not uncommon at that age to sometimes get a little carried away and it's up to the adults to help kids learn how to treat others.

 

[DisneyLovingMama]

Could it be possible that she wasn't saying it to be mean? Is your dd friends with her?

The girl is a borderline bully - she is a little older than DD and is one of the tallest in the class. She's pretty immature and is in trouble a lot. But, DD and she spend a lot of time together becuase they go to karate together, as well. It's hard to say if they are friends.