Would you have said anything to the creepy guy?

[LuvOrlando]

This is the second thread in so many days where people were very quick to jump to the defense of some random guy and explain away his actions without any reason whatsoever to do so. Yet, these are also the same people that carry on about why nothing was done ahead of various tragedies too numerous to count. Makes me shake my head all the time. It's no wonder the world is the way it is, with so many people willing to offer excuses, bad folks don't even have to open their mouths to be excused because someone is always ready & willing to pass false witness without a moments hesitation. I don't get it.

 

[Magpie]

You know what? I'm not single, and these are my daughters, yet I very much pay attention to what I do and say around young girls especially. You never know who might sue you for what, or what you might be accused of doing.

Over the top neurotic? Hardly. Cautious is more like it. Better safe than sorry is more like it. If you think my simply saying "Dude" makes me neurotic, well, so be it. Just your opinion.

I can tell you that I once found a young girl in an amusement park who was "lost". She was screaming and crying for her mom. I went to help her by taking her to a security booth. Several women came over to me and basically took her from me, with one of them saying something like "It is better for a woman to handle this." And I agree. Though I would have, had there been no women around.

As far as I can tell, no one has ANY issue with you saying, "Dude!" That was completely appropriate and the guy realized he was out of line.

What people are reacting to is your desire to call the police on the guy and your conviction that he had "predatory tendencies".

 

[PaulaSB12]

You know what? I'm not single, and these are my daughters, yet I very much pay attention to what I do and say around young girls especially. You never know who might sue you for what, or what you might be accused of doing.

Over the top neurotic? Hardly. Cautious is more like it. Better safe than sorry is more like it. If you think my simply saying "Dude" makes me neurotic, well, so be it. Just your opinion.

I can tell you that I once found a young girl in an amusement park who was "lost". She was screaming and crying for her mom. I went to help her by taking her to a security booth. Several women came over to me and basically took her from me, with one of them saying something like "It is better for a woman to handle this." And I agree. Though I would have, had there been no women around.

Tell that to the parents of a toddler who escaped from a child care, she was seen by a man who was too scared to grab her and take her to the police, she ended up drowning. We have got to stop this fear of men for our children's sake, how are we going to have girls having relationships with men if we bring them up to believe all single men are paedophiles?

 

[phorsenuf]

This is the second thread in so many days where people were very quick to jump to the defense of some random guy and explain away his actions without any reason whatsoever to do so. Yet, these are also the same people that carry on about why nothing was done ahead of various tragedies too numerous to count. Makes me shake my head all the time. It's no wonder the world is the way it is, with so many people willing to offer excuses, bad folks don't even have to open their mouths to be excused because someone is always ready & willing to pass false witness without a moments hesitation. I don't get it.

I didn't participate in the other thread myself, but what about people who jump to the accusation that their actions were sinister.
I think it's sad this world has come to the point where if people interact with others they are some kind of deviant.

 

[Carly_Roach]

You know what? I'm not single, and these are my daughters, yet I very much pay attention to what I do and say around young girls especially. You never know who might sue you for what, or what you might be accused of doing.

Over the top neurotic? Hardly. Cautious is more like it. Better safe than sorry is more like it. If you think my simply saying "Dude" makes me neurotic, well, so be it. Just your opinion.

I can tell you that I once found a young girl in an amusement park who was "lost". She was screaming and crying for her mom. I went to help her by taking her to a security booth. Several women came over to me and basically took her from me, with one of them saying something like "It is better for a woman to handle this." And I agree. Though I would have, had there been no women around.

Saying "Dude" in a store and the guy apologizing for offending you is one thing. I think most of us can easily see that as being an appropriate reaction. Especially since you were so offended.

But dwelling on it and then posting on a bulletin board hours later asking what other people thought? Meh....I'd probably lean toward paranoid or neurotic, too. Chances are this guy thought YOU were being a bit strange, too. But I bet he forgot all about the exchange once he left the store.

Lighten up, Francis.

 

[Magpie]

This is the second thread in so many days where people were very quick to jump to the defense of some random guy and explain away his actions without any reason whatsoever to do so. Yet, these are also the same people that carry on about why nothing was done ahead of various tragedies too numerous to count. Makes me shake my head all the time. It's no wonder the world is the way it is, with so many people willing to offer excuses, bad folks don't even have to open their mouths to be excused because someone is always ready & willing to pass false witness without a moments hesitation. I don't get it.

Um... what do you think SHOULD have been done, other than what the OP did?

What would constitute "not offering excuses" in this case? Should we be like 4Chan, and track down the guy's name and home address, so we can publicly label him a "predator"?

 

[LuvOrlando]

I don't think that's a danger since so many people are perfectly willing to ignore even the strangest behavior because heaven forbid someone should feel bad. Look at the woman who left her toddler with a friend at Sea-world. He was a nut before he was with the baby, no-one changes in a second, yet no-one should ever make anyone else feel bad right?

Quite the dilemma

 

[sunnyday123]

This is the second thread in so many days where people were very quick to jump to the defense of some random guy and explain away his actions without any reason whatsoever to do so. Yet, these are also the same people that carry on about why nothing was done ahead of various tragedies too numerous to count. Makes me shake my head all the time. It's no wonder the world is the way it is, with so many people willing to offer excuses, bad folks don't even have to open their mouths to be excused because someone is always ready & willing to pass false witness without a moments hesitation. I don't get it.

Exactly. I think the third post had an "excuse" as to why he acted the way he did. I don't want ANY strange man talking to my DD. The fact that he changed the lyrics to a song which is not about little girls AT ALL is creepy.

I would have thought the same thing, and also said something. If that makes me neurotic as well, so be it. I seriously doubt the OP's kids are going to end up in therapy because of this.

 

[npmommie]

Oh, I am sure he wasn't planning harm anybody with me right there, but I would bet money that he has predatory tendencies.

Yep I definitely agree with this.
I always trust my gut instinct and just the way the guys said "sorry" after you said Dude, leads me to believe he very much knew what he was saying and why, and that is was wrong.

To dare to behave that way right in front of a parent tells me he's very much a psyco. Most people know enough to at least keep their lunacy to themselves. If he can't even do that something is terribly wrong. You did the right thing to make sure he knew you were paying attention

Every wacko that ends up in the news was a still a wacko the day before, just as nutty but not as loud. Think about it.

Wow over the top neurotic parent, this is why I try not to have anything to do with kids in WDW. He may have been a bit unwise to do this (considering so many do seem to think single male MUST BE A PEADOPHILE!) but really he said hello do you really think he was grooming them?

not neurotic at all. just trusting your gut, I can sense a lunatic, and I always trust the vibe I am getting from someone.

As far as I can tell, no one has ANY issue with you saying, "Dude!" That was completely appropriate and the guy realized he was out of line.

What people are reacting to is your desire to call the police on the guy and your conviction that he had "predatory tendencies".

again I will say OP probably had a gut feeling from being in the situation which none of us were.
he was there, he felt the vibe the guy was giving off.

OP I get what you are saying, I don't think you are in the least bit neurotic. cautious is a good thing go be, and trust your instincts always.

 

[Magpie]

I don't think that's a danger since so many people are perfectly willing to ignore even the strangest behavior because heaven forbid someone should feel bad. Look at the woman who left her toddler with a friend at Sea-world. He was a nut before he was with the baby, no-one changes in a second, yet no-one should ever make anyone else feel bad right?

Quite the dilemma

Wait... all the articles I read about that said he was a family friend, and that she left him the baby for TEN minutes. I didn't read anything that indicated he was a "nut" (whatever that means).

I'll assume you've never left your children in the care of a family friend (or sitter, or relative) for any length of time, much less ten minutes, but most of the rest of us have. It's usually not a problem.

My children's godfather is bipolar. That probably makes him a "nut", but he's still a good man - one of the best I've ever known.

 

[npmommie]

OP I forgot to add, YES, I would have said something, I can get quite sassy too and I am not even from Jersey

 

[Planogirl]

I think that you're making too many assumptions but better safe than sorry. You handled it perfectly fine IMO.

 

[Carly_Roach]

I don't think that's a danger since so many people are perfectly willing to ignore even the strangest behavior because heaven forbid someone should feel bad. Look at the woman who left her toddler with a friend at Sea-world. He was a nut before he was with the baby, no-one changes in a second, yet no-one should ever make anyone else feel bad right?

Quite the dilemma

Out of the millions of human interactions every single day, to base one's reaction on the one or two times that bad things happen and are exploited in the media is extreme in my opinion.

For every five year old who was abducted because they went into a bathroom alone, there are millions who've been going into bathrooms by themselves every single day with no abductions. For every shaken baby that dies because of a drunk/aggressive adult, there are thousands who are "shaken" but don't die and hundreds of thousands who aren't even shaken in the first place. Not to mention how many of us who had mothers who smoked and/or had the occasional drink through their pregnancies, that were accidentally dropped by our fathers when we were babies, ate lead paint off the sides of cribs, played in concrete playgrounds, used public transportation when we went to school, had (and still have) mercury fillings in our teeth and had our temperatures taken with mercury thermometers.

Yet somehow we grew up to be perfectly normal and healthy adults anyway.

So no, I'm not going to be scrutinizing every single interaction through the lens of "What if.." and I'm going to be giving people the benefit of the doubt unless and until their actions warrant a more cautious approach.

I personally believe that if you live your life expecting bad things to happen, and expecting bad people surrounding you 24/7, then bad things will happen to you. How can they not? You're seeking out bad things all the time.

But when you live your life expecting good things to happen, and treat your interactions with others as such, then you won't experience the negative so much. Which probably explains why I don't see bogeymen in shadows all the time, I'm pretty happy every single day, and I'm easily able to forgive the trespasses of others as I ask that my own trespasses be forgiven.

 

[IDoDis]

A couple of months ago my DD 14 went to the the newest Harry Potter movie with a couple of friends and one of the friend's mother on opening day. The theater was very crowded as the movie let out and the lobby was packed with more people waiting to get in.

DD said a man her dad's age pinched her rear end twice when they were walking out of the theater and into the lobby! At first she thought it was an accident from someone who bumped into her because everyone was walking close together like a herd of cattle. But then it happened again, this time harder and more deliberate. She turned around and saw this creeper late 40's-ish to early 50's aged man right behind her looking at her right as she turned around to see who pinched her.

DD had gotten a little separated from her group in the crowd, but when they got out into the lobby she told her friends and her friend's mom what happened. They all thought it was funny and laughed. DD laughed with them to not show she was freaked out, but right after she was dropped off at home, she broke into tears and was so hysterical she couldn't even tell me what happened until she calmed down. It really scared her. Now had it been a teenager that pinched her she'd have laughed it off, but this was a man her dad's age!

I was a bit upset that the other mother took it so lightly, but she probably didn't know DD was freaked out. Had I been there with the girls, the mama bear would have come out in me. I would have found the creep, chewed him out and then followed him to his car and wrote down his driver's license number and reported him to the police for committing a lewd act on a minor. He would have denied it, I'm sure, but maybe the guy had a record which would have at least alerted the police to keep a closer eye on him.

 

[npmommie]

A couple of months ago my DD 14 went to the the newest Harry Potter movie with a couple of friends and one of the friend's mother on opening day. The theater was very crowded as the movie let out and the lobby was packed with more people waiting to get in.

DD said a man her dad's age pinched her rear end twice when they were walking out of the theater and into the lobby! At first she thought it was an accident from someone who bumped into her because everyone was walking close together like a herd of cattle. But then it happened again, this time harder and more deliberate. She turned around and saw this creeper late 40's-ish to early 50's aged man right behind her looking at her right as she turned around to see who pinched her.

DD had gotten a little separated from her group in the crowd, but when they got out into the lobby she told her friends and her friend's mom what happened. They all thought it was funny and laughed. DD laughed with them to not show she was freaked out, but right after she was dropped off at home, she broke into tears and was so hysterical she couldn't even tell me what happened until she calmed down. It really scared her. Now had it been a teenager that pinched her she'd have laughed it off, but this was a man her dad's age!

I was a bit upset that the other mother took it so lightly, but she probably didn't know DD was freaked out. Had I been there with the girls, the mama bear would have come out in me. I would have found the creep, chewed him out and then followed him to his car and wrote down his driver's license number and reported him to the police for committing a lewd act on a minor. He would have denied it, I'm sure, but maybe the guy had a record which would have at least alerted the police to keep a closer eye on him.

I would have done what you said if I had been there, there is not one thing remotely funny about that scenario, and for that mom to think its funny is just odd to me.
what if it was her dd. would she have thought it was funny then.
I would have been all over that creep and yes I would have called the police.
my dd or her friends doesn't matter, I would have sought him out for sure.

 

[Mermaid02]

Holy leap Batman!

.

It might be a leap, but sometimes you just get a gut feeling and it's best to pay attention to it.

 

[TheIncredibles!]

911 what's your emergency?

I am in line at a grocery store and there's a man that said hello to my children then started singing.

 

[LuvOrlando]

Out of the millions of human interactions every single day, to base one's reaction on the one or two times that bad things happen and are exploited in the media is extreme in my opinion.

For every five year old who was abducted because they went into a bathroom alone, there are millions who've been going into bathrooms by themselves every single day with no abductions. For every shaken baby that dies because of a drunk/aggressive adult, there are thousands who are "shaken" but don't die and hundreds of thousands who aren't even shaken in the first place. Not to mention how many of us who had mothers who smoked and/or had the occasional drink through their pregnancies, that were accidentally dropped by our fathers when we were babies, ate lead paint off the sides of cribs, played in concrete playgrounds, used public transportation when we went to school, had (and still have) mercury fillings in our teeth and had our temperatures taken with mercury thermometers.

Yet somehow we grew up to be perfectly normal and healthy adults anyway.

So no, I'm not going to be scrutinizing every single interaction through the lens of "What if.." and I'm going to be giving people the benefit of the doubt unless and until their actions warrant a more cautious approach.

I personally believe that if you live your life expecting bad things to happen, and expecting bad people surrounding you 24/7, then bad things will happen to you. How can they not? You're seeking out bad things all the time.

But when you live your life expecting good things to happen, and treat your interactions with others as such, then you won't experience the negative so much. Which probably explains why I don't see bogeymen in shadows all the time, I'm pretty happy every single day, and I'm easily able to forgive the trespasses of others as I ask that my own trespasses be forgiven.

There is a BIG difference between thinking EVERYONE is a dangerous "BOGEYMAN" and throwing a hood over your head so you are blind and can pretend EVERYONE is good sweet misunderstood soul who just needs a hug.

When there are indications of something being off a reasonable person would pay more close attention, which to me, sits somewhere in between the 2 poles, but that's just me.

 

[Magpie]

A couple of months ago my DD 14 went to the the newest Harry Potter movie with a couple of friends and one of the friend's mother on opening day. The theater was very crowded as the movie let out and the lobby was packed with more people waiting to get in.

DD said a man her dad's age pinched her rear end twice when they were walking out of the theater and into the lobby! At first she thought it was an accident from someone who bumped into her because everyone was walking close together like a herd of cattle. But then it happened again, this time harder and more deliberate. She turned around and saw this creeper late 40's-ish to early 50's aged man right behind her looking at her right as she turned around to see who pinched her.

DD had gotten a little separated from her group in the crowd, but when they got out into the lobby she told her friends and her friend's mom what happened. They all thought it was funny and laughed. DD laughed with them to not show she was freaked out, but right after she was dropped off at home, she broke into tears and was so hysterical she couldn't even tell me what happened until she calmed down. It really scared her. Now had it been a teenager that pinched her she'd have laughed it off, but this was a man her dad's age!

I was a bit upset that the other mother took it so lightly, but she probably didn't know DD was freaked out. Had I been there with the girls, the mama bear would have come out in me. I would have found the creep, chewed him out and then followed him to his car and wrote down his driver's license number and reported him to the police for committing a lewd act on a minor. He would have denied it, I'm sure, but maybe the guy had a record which would have at least alerted the police to keep a closer eye on him.

When my daughter started riding the public city bus to high school every day, I talked to her about what to do in the event that she ever gets pinched, groped or felt up in some way. I know it's very likely to happen to her some day, as she's a high school girl riding a bus full of business men. And I told her it can happen in any crowd, so always be aware.

The "proper" thing to do is to turn around, face him, and very loudly say, "HEY!" If you've got the nerve, it's good to add a few more choice words along the line of, "CREEP!" and "He just PINCHED my butt!" (Or whatever he did.)

Sure, he'll deny it. But most people will believe you. Standing up for yourself makes you stronger, and public humiliation will have him crawling away in shame, like the maggot he is.

(BTW, this approach works very well on grabby high school boys, too.)

 

[Magpie]

I would have done what you said if I had been there, there is not one thing remotely funny about that scenario, and for that mom to think its funny is just odd to me.
what if it was her dd. would she have thought it was funny then.
I would have been all over that creep and yes I would have called the police.
my dd or her friends doesn't matter, I would have sought him out for sure.

I'm guessing the mom didn't know what to do, since the man was long gone and maybe she felt a little guilty for losing track of the girl in the crowd. So she tried to lighten the mood, in the hopes that it would all blow over.

Not the best, or most sensitive, response. But not criminal, either.