Would you go into debt for big wedding?

[disykat]

I don't think the name means a troll. I've posted on boards with "hotmama", "choirbabe", etc. There are also some people here that have names with names that imply a certain amount of self confidence - not even counting Disney princesses!

 

[Tigger&Belle]

Not sure about the news friends part since we haven't been properly introduced, but here goes it anyway.

We were married 23 years ago--very simple wedding, made our own food (wouldn't do that part again), got an inexpensive dress, etc. We're as married now as we would have been if we had of spent thousands of dollars. We were poor college students and did what we could afford. If we had of waited 10 years we would have done a lot of it the same. We would have had it catered, but everything else was perfect!

 

[Allison]

Does someone 30 years old really need to be asking this question?

 

[MrsPete]

On the one hand, I understand where you're coming from. I always wanted a nice wedding (not extravagant and expensive -- I knew that wasn't going to happen, but nice). If we'd been married at the courthouse, I would've felt like I'd missed out on something. It would've been like losing a dream, and it's a day that can't be "had back".

However, that dream wedding ideal must be balanced with common sense. EVERYONE has said, "Don't do it" -- and I'm saying the same thing. Let's talk about WHY you shouldn't do it:

I googled a credit card repayment calculator, and here's what I found: If you borrow 40,000 at 18% interest (and many cards charge more!) and you make fairly minimal payments of $600 per month, the calculator says it will require INFINITE MONTHS to repay the loan. So if you pay only $600 per month, you will literally NEVER pay off the debt. If you can repay $1000 per month, you will pay off the loan in 62 months (think about that -- that's over five years). If you go with the $1000 per month figure, you will have paid back $62,000 total by the time you're through; that'll be $22,000 in interest!

Totally serious question: How much extra money do you and your fiance have right now each month? If the answer is less than $1000 per month, then you'll have to figure out HOW you could repay the loans. Also, is he willing to go into debt for a wedding? This large loan will affect him as well as you. You don't want to set yourself up for marital strife by creating a debt that he will be unwilling to help repay.

Let's think about that figure. $1000 per month. I don't know what you and your fiance do for a living, but $1000 per month is serious money to most of us. It's the difference between living in your own house, driving a nice car, having a decent clothing budget, eating out occasionally, starting an account for your retirement . . . and living in an apartment, driving an older car, never taking a vacation, and living paycheck to paycheck.

What about the five years? Where do you expect to be in five years? If you're like many about-to-be-marrieds, you might anticipate that you'll be in a house, perhaps looking towards staying at home with your child . . . this wedding debt could prevent those things from happening.

Unless one of you is about to embark on a very lucrative career such as heart surgeon or CEO of Coca-cola, or unless you expect to receive a large inheritance soon, this kind of debt for a wedding is in no way worth it! Look over your ideas and decide WHICH ONES are most important to you. If I were making the decisions, I'd choose an inexpensive dress (honestly, few people will remember it beyond long and white anyway), have a mid-afternoon punch-and-cake reception instead of a sit-down dinner, choose inexpensive flowers and a small photography package (supplimented by family member pictures). Look into rings from a pawn shop; it's amazing what's out there for sale -- cheap! Find a nice honeymoon destination within driving distance. You can have a nice wedding without breaking the bank.

Do not cheat yourself out of a comfortable future to try to grasp the dream of one perfect day.

 

[CharlesTD]

Nope not for the wedding but for our honeymoon we sure did LOL. We used my student loans to help pay for our honeymoon the wedding we did for about 5 grand the honeymoon was closer to 15 grand.

 

[daisyduck123]

I haven't read all the pages on this thread, but my answer is "no".

I think the money could be put towards something that will last longer than a 6 hour wedding. (after 15 years of wedded bliss, I can't even remember our wedding song..did we have one)? Of course, that's just me. We had a small wedding & used the money we would have spent on a bigger one on the down payment on a house instead. Hey, we ended up living there for 4 years. We could not have purchased it without that money.

But if you're loaded & don't need that money for anything else, then I say "Go use it".

 

[Blondy876]

No, at 30 years old you should have enough sense to realize that a new marriage is difficult enough without adding debt to it. You won't be any more married if you spend $40,000 than you would be if you spent $400.

 

[PaulaSue]

OP ....Sorry I think it is NUTS to go into debt for a Wedding. It is JUST one day of your life.

You just don't have it and 40,000 on CCs would be what total until you could actually pay it off?

I just think it is starting you marriage off on a BAD foot. Marriage is hard enough without Money troubles to make it harder.

 

[Rootskate]

Oh gosh no, I wouldn't go into debt over your wedding!! We just got married 6 months ago and I made certain that we paid cash for everything. We were dead set against starting off our married life with a huge debt from the wedding and we have since remarked how happy we both are that we kept it small (70 people), don't owe any money from it, and had a great time!!

Congratulations and Best of luck to you!!

 

[Pam]

I am getting married in six months! I have always dreamed about a big wedding with hundreds of friends and relatives in attendance. I dreamed about a huge reception at a fancy hotel and a 5 star honeymoon.

The trouble is we have very little money. Though I have five Credit Cards with lots of credit available. I could charge the $40,000 we have budgeted and pay off a little at a time. You only live once!

Though my Mom and Dad are against it and said it would be better if we have a very small wedding. Can I ask my new friends on the DIS board?

I think you should do it!

Someone young&pretty, such as yourself, deserves a wedding fit for a Princess! And remember -- you'll only be in your prime once, and it appears that you will soon be past that point -- better get a good photographer and videographer to record every moment of you looking young&pretty.

 

[Sleepy]

I am getting married in six months! I have always dreamed about a big wedding with hundreds of friends and relatives in attendance. I dreamed about a huge reception at a fancy hotel and a 5 star honeymoon.

The trouble is we have very little money.

Wow, that was me 15 years ago. i had everything planned....invitations, cake, dress....everything picked out. One day hubby looked at me and said "Let's get married". I used my already purchased reception dress and shoes and we got married 4 days later. Only 3 people attended. We are still married 15 years later. We used all that money we were going to spend on a wedding to buy furniture for the house. My only regret....I did not get to wear that beautiful wedding dress I had picked out.

 

[crz4mm2]

No. Then when you get ready to buy a house, or NEED credit, your cards are maxed out and your credit score is crap. I would NEVER do that.

 

[bengalbelle]

I think you should do it!

Someone young&pretty, such as yourself, deserves a wedding fit for a Princess! And remember -- you'll only be in your prime once, and it appears that you will soon be past that point -- better get a good photographer and videographer to record every moment of you looking young&pretty.

LOL!!!!

 

[LoveWDW]

We felt that our wedding was between him and me. We invited only closest friends and family. We did not go into debt because of it, so we started our life together without debts looming over us.

 

[melanie18]

Would I go into debt for a big wedding? Um, no....What's the point? To impress your friends and family?

It's one day. If I had money to burn I wouldn't even spend on a big wedding. I would rather put it towards our future after we were married, like use it as a down payment on a house. Which is exactly what we did.

 

[allie&mattsmom]

No way.

 

[graygables]

"I dreamed of a wedding of elaborate elegance, a church filled with flowers and friends. I asked him what kind of wedding he dreamed of and he said, "One that will make you my wife."

That was on my wedding announcement that we sent out the day AFTER we had our small, beautiful wedding in our grape arbor with 14 in attendance including us and the preacher.

I had already done the big wedding thing and it ended in divorce, so I didn't want to go through all that again. We decided to keep it simple and inexpensive so we wouldn't have to start out in debt, then, we would do it up big for our 25th! I've already told him to prepare himself for a Disney vow renewal!!!

 

[TDC Nala]

No. But then I'm old&bitter.

 

[mrsheppo]

No - I sure wouldn't do it. I have paid for 3 weddings for my dds and the total for all 3 weddings has been $10,000. One was an intimate wedding at Disneyland's Paradise Pier Hotel, one with 50 people in Oregon and the last one was for 125 people.

I have shown my girls how to do alot of budgeting. We made the invitations, favors, bought wedding dresses on sale (the last one was on clearance - it was $800.00 marked down to $200.00 and it was gorgeous.) We were even able to get a discount on the reception site and food for the last wedding.

We also had people offer to do photography, videography, music as their gifts.

An expensive wedding won't make you any more married than going to a Justice of the Peace. In the end, it's just being husband and wife that matters.

 

[disneylizzy]

Please, please do not go into debt for a big, fancy wedding. That is no way to start out your life together! Focus on your dress, or maybe the honeymoon, but make your wedding within your budget. Life is so unpredictable, you can't try to keep up with the people who have everything. You especially should not go into debt trying to do it. Please listen to those of us who have a little experience in how life can turn out not exactly as planned.