Would you go into debt for big wedding?

[young&pretty]

I am getting married in six months! I have always dreamed about a big wedding with hundreds of friends and relatives in attendance. I dreamed about a huge reception at a fancy hotel and a 5 star honeymoon.

The trouble is we have very little money. Though I have five Credit Cards with lots of credit available. I could charge the $40,000 we have budgeted and pay off a little at a time. You only live once!

Though my Mom and Dad are against it and said it would be better if we have a very small wedding. Can I ask my new friends on the DIS board?

 

[smilie]

We didn't. DH and I had a very small, intimate wedding with close friends and family. Our wedding was perfect! We wouldn't do it any other way. We figured why go into debt for one day and spend years paying it off. In the end we decided we didn't want to go into a marriage deep in debt as we've seen that put stress on many marriages. It just depends on what's important to you and who you want there.

 

[spelunker]

Absolutely no way! Huge amounts of debt is no way to start you life together. No need to start you marriage living above your means.

 

[Kristi1357]

Sorry, but I agree with your parents - from experience too!

I was married to ex - big wedding, 150 guests, the whole nine yards. We didn't have that kind of money but did it anyway. Our divorce was final on our 4th anniversary and my lawyer bill equaled the wedding bill! (not to say all big weddings end this way, of course!)

I married DH in 1999. 30+ guests, at Disney World! Still not exactly a "small" wedding in terms of price. This wedding cost us about the same as my first wedding. Cost aside - this wedding was so much more special since we only had our closest relatives and best friends in attendance. For example, there were no co-workers, friends of our parents, etc. Just the people that we loved the most!

My sister was married a couple years ago on my parents deck! Just about 15 people - close family. It was very nice, and inexpensive!

I really do think small weddings are much more special. And they don't add all that stress about money!

CONGRATULATIONS!

 

[goofyforlife]

We financed our own wedding (need I say it was on a budget but we stayed under $5,000)....

but everyone had a great time and the food was great and our pictures were priceless......

I went to a wedding where I knew they payed close to $60,000. Yeah they had fancy limos, and a live harpist and the ceremony and tents and stuff....
but they didn't have to borrow the money...

but after its all said and done you don't want to start out your marriage in debt..... In a few years or right away you'll want to start house hunting and the banks will pull credit reports and that is where that expensive wedding will haunt you.....

There are tons of ways to make your wedding day seem expensive but that won't break the bank either.....

 

[Missy1961]

No I wouldn't.

 

[PatsGirl]

No way. I had 12 people at my wedding and then 100 at a cocktail party following. IT still added up! When I think about where I could have gone for that kind of money: let's see, an all-inclusive for a week, safari, Hawaii, 10-day cruise, you get the picture.

Too many young people spend huge $$ on a one-day event and then pay rent, lease cars, and drive up credit bills. Think long and hard if 8 hours of the REST OF YOUR LIFE is worth this, not to mention the stress involved too

 

[ducklite]

DO NOT GO INTO DEBT!

Simply put, the number one reason that marriages fail in teh first five years is financial problems! The last thing you want to do is start your new life together with that kind of baggage. I know a couple who spent an unfathomable amount on their wedding, and they still carried over half of it on credit cards when they divorced four years after they married.

Have a modest wedding that you can afford now, and down the road when you've got the available cash, throw a large vow renewal.

And BTW--Most brides that I know that had large weddings regretted it, as they didn't have time to spend with any of the people who came.

My wedding was about 40 people, and it was perfect. We truly were able to spend time with everyone who was there, and only invited people we were very close to--both relatives and friends--and are still clsoe to.

Anne

 

[palmtreegirl]

.....

 

[Poohnatic]

I've been married twice. Both times, weddings were for 40 to 50 people. Both were catered, sit down affairs at a local hotel with an open bar.

Both cost me less than 3,000 dollars and were lots of fun. My DH and I had our reception in the 'lighthouse bar' of the local Hampton inn the second time. It had a miniscule dance floor, so we opted to play music from the jukebox and not dance. It was fantastic-we got to mix and mingle with everyone in attendance. By having this format, one of my best friends met one of my husband's best frieds They're married six years now

Please don't go that far into debt for one day. What matters is being surrounded by those you love. A nice meal is perfect, and extravagant affair when you've got to go into debt isn't.

Good luck and best wishes for a happy marriage.

Suzanne

 

[Missamoncus]

Don't Do It !!!!!!! Make your wedding small and meaningful. Make the day about each other , not a lavish ceremony. The wedding itself will last
maybe 1/2 hour, the reception a few hours, the honeymoon a week or two and then you will come home to a pile of debts that may take you years to pay off. Am I wrong in assuming that if you had the money to easily repay $40,000 in cc debt, you would have the money to pay for a ceremony?
Yes, you only live once. Why would you spend it in a bunch of debt?
After seven years of marriage and a bunch of ups and downs , my husband and I have initiated the " Pay cash or do without " financial method. Why? Our financial situation has changed since we married, we over extended ourselves early on and we have spent the last two years in a serious financial bind that was unforseeable 7 years ago when we married. We love each other VERY much , but the financial stress nearly led to our marriage ending
in divorce. We went through some serious counseling , changed our ways , and now are working together to clear our debt and change the way we manage our money. I'm not saying that would happen to you and your sweetie , I'm just trying to point out that If I knew then what I know now......

Melissa

 

[rnd4life]

We've been in debt and crawled our way out, it wasn't easy. So no way would I ever do it.

DH and I have been there too and not because of a wedding. No way I would go into debt to get married. You can have a small wedding and be just as married as a person who spends $40,000!

 

[Nana Annie]

Hindsight being 20-20, I wouldn't. We had a huge, expensive wedding back in the early 80's. Designer dress that was in the thousands, fancy reception complete with orchestra & catered sit-down dinner, fancy honeymoon, etc.

I still have the wonderful husband (which is the ONLY important part ), but the dress is in a box - never worn again, and everything else is just dim memories. The intimacy of the wedding was lost trying to mingle with all those people. Many people that I didn't even really know. It was a huge headache to plan and when I look back at it now - a nice barbecue with all my friends to really party would have been much more fun. I was exhausted the whole time during that fancy honeymoon (that part I would do again!) and could barely enjoy it.

Save your money and put a nice nest egg together. You might be much happier with a nice house and the means to continue to entertain those friends in style for years to come, rather than spend your entire future on entertaining them for one day. And really, 20 years from now - that is all it will be - one day.

You can have a wonderful wedding without spending a fortune. There used to be a show on TLC where they planned weddings for $5,000.00. They had some great ideas to get a fancy wedding for budget prices. Don't know if you can still find the reruns, but it had some great ideas.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

Absolutely not!! I dreamed of owning a house (forever), not a big wedding (for one day). We had a small wedding which we paid for by ourselves on our meager incomes at the time. We scrimped and saved and the next year bought our house which we still live in 18 years later. It has increased in value nicely so it's a decision we feel for us was a good one. We are thinking about a vow renewal for our 20th and it, too, will be a small affair.

Do you have any idea how long it would take you to pay off $40K on a credit card? That's truly not any way to start off your married life.

ETA:

a nice barbecue with all my friends to really party would have been much more fun.

LOL, that's what we did!

 

[leighe]

Definitely not! While I was lucky and my parents paid for my huge wedding, DH and I look back now (we've been married 3 1/2 years) and can't believe what we (well, Mom and Daddy) spent on things. It was tons of fun and I enjoyed every minute of it but if I had to do it again I wouldn't be as extravagant. It just seems silly now. We haven't spent as much to furnish the baby's nursery as I spent on stationary for the wedding - invitations, thank you notes, save the date cards, etc. We had a great time because we were surrounded by our friends and family - not because there were magnolia blossoms in the centerpieces.

 

[Tinijocaro]

Your parents are absolutely right. Yes, it's your only wedding, but it's just one day. Years of paying off debt for something that will be behind you in a flash. So not worth it. You don't know what curves life will throw you(it always does)- you may not be in a position to pay it off. Being in debt is not a good way to start off a marriage. You will sleep easier at night knowing your financial slate is clear. How about plan a fabulous trip for the two of you, or buy a house together? I know all you can think about is the wedding, but it really will be over so quickly, I think you will have big regrets. I've been to weddings of all sizes, the big ones didn't impress me any more than the smaller, more intimate ones. Think long and hard before you go into debt over this. What does your fiance think about it?

Jackie

 

[momof3disneyholics]

I wouldn't either. When I got married I was 18, and we didn't have much money to begin with, so when we received money as gifts before we had our wedding, we decided to put it in savings instead of spending it. We still had a nice, small, wedding. My mom did all the food, and we got our cake from Publix. (yes, Publix does wedding cakes) My dress was a thrift shop find. A wedding only lasts a day, you still have to live afterwards and pay that debt off.

 

[christinadei]

We didn't. DH and I had a very small, intimate wedding with close friends and family. Our wedding was perfect! We wouldn't do it any other way. We figured why go into debt for one day and spend years paying it off. In the end we decided we didn't want to go into a marriage deep in debt as we've seen that put stress on many marriages. It just depends on what's important to you and who you want there.

We did the same thing. There were certain things I wanted and wouldn't budge on, sit down dinner, real flowers, real tablecloths and silverware, a honeymoon. So, I found a way to do it all. We had a destination wedding, which cut the guest list WAAAYYYY down. That way, I had everything I dreamed of and it double served as our honeymoon, we just stayed for a week afterwards. We were able to pay for everything up front, we didn't charge anything and it was so perfect and stress free, since the venue's handled all of the details. I also bargain shopped, found my dream dress cheap online, cheapest lodging I could, etc.

I think we ended up spending less than $5,000 and that included my dress and DH and DS's tuxes (bought), all other attire and accessories, flowers, reception (included dinner, the cake and wine/champagne), the wedding (included chapel, photography, pastor) the cabin for before the wedding and after (honeymoon), all travel expenses and spending money.

 

[helenabear]

Nope... the party isn't what is important anyway... the ceremony itself is.

At least to me

 

[mickeyfan2]

I believe it is foolish to go into debt for a wedding. We know a couple who did this and they were still paying off the wedding when they got divorced. The financial burdon was a major cause of the marriage break up. I believe you are putting too much value on the day and too much hardship on the marriage. $40,000 would go a long way toward your future home.