would you give money to relatives.....

[poohtown]

even if you know they'll blow it?

If you spent your time working hard, saving, not buying things as much as others, not going out very much..... would you give money to relatives (parents, siblings....) who always spend money like it grows in their backyard.

 

[minniegirl88]

.

 

[pw2pp]

NO

 

[crazyforgoofy]

I may be goofy but I'm not dumb.

 

[4greatboys]

No. If they were in a bind and needed money for rent, food,etc I would gladly help out. But if they needed money just because they blew all theirs and was going to blow mine too, no way.

 

[pygmymom]

Unless it was a real emergency, absolutely not. And don't let them make you feel guilty about your choice.

 

[mommytotwo]

Nope

 

[catsrule]

no

 

[JESW]

We have done it in the past and it has come back and bit us in the butt....so NO MORE...unless for parents.

Jill

 

[workinggal]

Not if I know they're going to waste it. I did use my Lowe's card to buy my friend a dryer once. She paid me back when she got her tax refund.

 

[Bob Slydell]

Not if I knew for certain they were going to blow it. If I knew it would be going to something important, yes, I'd help. I helped my younger brother with college tuition one year.

 

[Serena]

I have before too, and I regretted it later. They seemed to think that it was ok to ask any old time they felt like it.
I learned, I would feed them, but that was all. And I fed them, I didn't give them money.

 

[onecoolmama]

I agree with working gal. Insead of giving them the money, I would buy what they needed. That way, my money wouldnt be wasted.

 

[hoosll]

Last year I helped my brother go through re-hab - I emptied my savings with the knowledge that I would never see the money again. Rehab lasted less than a week - then 6 months later he had a seizure - he has lost his short term memory (think Memento) and memories of the last 10 years of his life including alcoholism. Now I am being asked to help pay for his new life in an alzheimers home AND lawyers for his divorce - his wife won't even sign him up for Social Security and Medicaid - what a mess, he is 52 years old.

Anyway, I agree that you should never give/lend more than you can afford. Know that you will never see the money again. If you can, write a check to the landlord, utility or whatever not the relative. Be clear that this is a one-time deal and stick to your guns.

 

[Disneymomma]

Nope!

 

[sk!mom]

Originally posted by poohtown
even if you know they'll blow it?

If you spent your time working hard, saving, not buying things as much as others, not going out very much..... would you give money to relatives (parents, siblings....) who always spend money like it grows in their backyard.

Wow! It sounds like we are related. My family has a long history of financial irresponsibility. They all live way above their means and are constantly on the edge of bankruptcy. DH and I, on the other hand, try to live below our means so that we can afford to travel. They then want to borrow from us. I have loaned in the past and usually gotten burned. I have been saying no for quite a few years and used to feel guilty. This summer, I came to the realization that my family members are all college educated professionals, all have good jobs, and no one (Thank God) has suffered a terrible illness or tragedy. They make as much or more than DH and I.

All this to say: No, I do not loan money or feel guilty about it. In the case of a true emergency, I will be glad to help though.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

It would depend on what they needed it for.

With my parents (who blow money) they were in danger of losing everything. Siblings had to step in & we helped them out because we became involved in their finances. Wasn't pretty, but things are "set".

 

[olena]

For financial emergencies? Yes. To finance poor lifestyle choices? Absolutely not.

 

[Trish Bessette]

I did. For my sister. Not so they could blow it though. They were on the verge of financial ruins. Both lost their jobs and for the life of them could not find one here in Vermont. Every interview they were "too qualified" which they stated they don't care they needed the job. My BIL kept track of how many jobs he applied for....over 850!!! Long story made short, I helped them out A LOT!! They are grateful but it does cause a strain on the relationship.

Sad ending too...they just can't get good paying jobs so they have their house on the market. Should close in a month or so and will be paying me back.

I knew they would pay me back but it is sad that they are losing everything afterall

 

[holycow]

This was interesting to me because my in-laws are on a limited budget now that they are retired but they spend like there is no tomorrow...eat out all the time, buy plaster crap (bought 3 kilns and a display case for $$$$$ but then they call and need money for car insurance and then they call my DH and ask for 1300 dollars because his Sfather pulled out his own teeth with a pair of pliers and now they are infected and he needs dentures

It made me mad! I guess it also makes me mad that they didn't take care of his teeth when he was a child but now we have to take care of them when they are so irresponsible....grrrrrrrrrrrr
anyway being the wonderful DH that he is ...he paid but I'm still not happy about it....oh, BTW....he paid the Dr. directly.

So if it is an necessity of some type then I would pay directly to whomever but if it is something they do all the time I would say no...the mean cruel hard hearted person that I am.


sorry to unload...I haven't talked to anyone about this and it just all came out!

HC