Would you ever trade in your engagement ring for a different one?

[roliepolieoliefan]

If there is nothing wrong with the one you have (ie, lost, stolen, eaten), I think it's rather rude to replace it.

To each their own, I guess.

I lost my original diamond (a 1/2 carat round diamond) prongs came completely off the ring and the diamond fell out. This was only about 2 years after we were married, so DH bought me another diamond pretty much the same as the one I had.
We weren't poor when we married, but we were both just out of school, bought a house right away and a larger diamond was not in the cards.

I kidded with DH throughout the years , boy I would really like a bigger diamond. We moved to an affluent community and alot of these woman have "rocks". But even before that I just wanted something bigger. I never really thought he would actually buy me one. You know with kids and all , there is never "extra" to replace a diamond that I already had and really was quite beautiful.

DH and I went away on our 15th anniversary and he surprised me with a 1 1/2 carat marquis. I was quite surprised. We had it set in my original setting, so its just the diamond that was replaced.

We still have the 1/2 carat diamond that was in my ring and when DD gets older, I will get it set in a necklace for her.

 

[focusondisney]

I have. We were very young when we got engaged-- 2nd year of college. My diamond was less than 1/4 carat. We did pick it out together & while I wanted it at the time, we picked it more because it was affordable than because I loved it. I would always have preferred a larger stone. My DH always knew that. We have worked hard & been blessed with good jobs & incomes over the years.

Several years ago, for a significant day, he bought me a new ring. He told me he was going to & took me to pick it out. He said I had waited so long, I deserved the ring I really wanted. The diamond is about 1 carat oval, very high quality & the setting we found was what I had dreamed of. I absolutely love it, even 15 years later.

Even tho it isn't my engagement ring, it means as much to me as the original did at the time. It means that even 20 years later, my DH loved me enough to buy me the ring of my dreams & wanted me make me happy. I do refer to it as my "diamond", not my "engagement ring". I have the original, I would not have traded it in. I will offer it to my DS someday, if he gets married for his wife or daughter. My own DD will eventually get the larger diamond.

Now my wedding ring, I will never trade. Over the years as I have aged, I have needed to get it sized up twice. The last time the jeweler said "that's it, can't do it again". DH said, let's just get you something new". Nope, never. Lost about 15 pounds instead. Fits perfect again!


I do love large diamonds. But I think a right hand ring with a bigger stone & fancier setting is what I'd want. I won't upgrade me left hand rings again.

 

[Pakey]

I moved up. I've been married 30 years and hated, hated, hated the ring that my husband got me. I quit wearing it after 10 years of marriage because I hated it so much. So two years ago, I met with a gemologist, selected the stone and had a ring designed around that stone.

My husband and I are both pretty unsentimental but I still don't think I would have continued to wear that hideous ring. I'm very happy with my new one and my husband is happy that I'm happy.

 

[NYEmomma]

I love my diamond but have never loved the setting. I've thought about asking DH for a new setting for our 10 year anniversary (depending on financial status!)

Same here! DH & I got engaged when I was 18 and I'm almost 31 now... my tastes as a teenager are not the same as they are now. My current ring is a wedding set where the wedding band is incorporated into the engagement ring. I'd prefer a ring and a separate band. It's also the only piece of yellow gold jewelry that I own because I really dislike yellow gold. Everything else is white.

DH doesn't mind because his skill at jewelry shopping has also gotten better over the years. He goes to a jeweler now & basically designs every piece of jewelry he gets me himself. My engagement ring & band were just something he picked out from a store in the mall.

I'd keep the actual diamond because I love the heart-shaped cut & it's a good size for me. I have tiny fingers so the .25 carat looks rather large on me. I'd take the smaller diamonds that are in my band and add in some pink zirconia (we got married in October) and make a separate wedding band out of that.

 

[sdjen]

I wish I would have!

Here is what happened to me. Got engaged young (20) in college and was thrilled to just be engaged at that time. (but I really wasnt crazy about the ring) We ended up breaking up about a year later for awhile.

Decided we belonged together after a few months apart (and I had moved about a 1000 miles away). We discussed getting "re-engaged" so I knew it was coming. I went to a jewelry store and wrote down about a dozen styles that I really liked and sent it to him.

He completely ignored everything I said I liked and took him mom shopping with him. Since she hated me - and we had opposite taste - I received a ring that I hated and she loved. I am sure she was thrilled that she got to influence that decision. I really didnt like the ring AT ALL - as it looked like a cocktail ring. We ended up being married for 10 years but I hated my ring the whole time. Should have been a sign of all of the MIL problems i was setting myself up for, right

 

[goofinoff]

If there is nothing wrong with the one you have (ie, lost, stolen, eaten), I think it's rather rude to replace it.

I don't think it's rude at all. Some people's taste changes after a while. What I picked almost 17 years ago I wouldn't even look twice at now.

I've actually had my diamond reset. I still have the original diamond just in a new setting. It wasn't because I wanted to. My original setting had a channel setting down the side and one of the diamonds kept popped out twice. The first time we had only been engaged for 5 days! The second time was about 2 years later and the 3rd was the breaking point for me. It was in the same spot!! So I had it reset.

I'm sure that after 15 years of marriage and IF we had the money, my husband wouldn't object to me trading up on my diamond. I'd love to have something totally different. I love my ring but if I could I may do it.

 

[AlwaysMoving]

I would never replace my engagement ring. I did not he was going to ask me to marry him and did not expect him to. He went out, without me knowing, and picked out the ring he wanted me to have. I am sure he considered which one I might like, but ultimately it was his decision since I never wore jewelry and jewelry was never a topic of discussion....ever. I love my ring. It is about 1/3 carat, which these days is considered extremely small and probably was back then too, but it was a huge expense for him at the time. Honestly, the size of the diamond and simplicity of the ring is what makes it so important to me. It reminds me of how things were when we started out. If something happened and the ring was stolen or lost, I would not want to replace it.

 

[2binak]

I "traded up" but it was DH's idea. We were right out of college when we got engaged. We had college loans & wanted to save for a house so Dh bought what he could afford at the time. After we got engaged, he told me that someday he would upgrade it.

Of course I loved it just the way it was, but years later DH insisted for our anniversary that he wanted to take me to the jewelry store to look at other settings. He bought me an incredibly beautiful setting and had the original diamond placed in it. As it turns out, my tastes had changed since he gave me the original setting and I love the new setting even more than I could have imagined!

 

[superme80]

My ring was customed made, but the stone chipped and fell out. So all I want is for the gem to be replaced and have the orginal gem set into a necklace. I told DH I want it done by our 10th anniversary. He has 6 years to go. My gorgeous wedding band is lonely I am not a huge fan of trading up. My mom traded down. She HATEs jewlrey. At their 25th anniversary she had my dad get her a band she liked, no gems. She loves it. They have been married for over 40 years. My dad ended up getting a ring with the bling. He likes gems.

 

[Luv Bunnies]

When we got engaged, we were just out of college and had very little money to spend. We bought a "trio" set that came with all three rings for around $900. My engagement ring had a 1/10th carat diamond and the bands were very thin. After about 9 years, we went on a cruise, had few drinks, and bought a 1/2 carat diamond in Mexico! We had it mounted on my original ring. A couple of years later, we decided we wanted to replace all of our rings. DH's ring needed to be cut off of his finger because it no longer fit. We had my new 1/2 carat diamond mounted on a new band. Then we bought two diamond-encrusted bands to go on either side of it - one as a wedding ring and one as an anniversary band. DH picked out a much thicker, more substantial band for himself. We keep the old ones displayed in our china cabinet, right next to our cake topper. We're going to have our 24th anniversary next year. DH has been rumbling about getting me a bigger diamond for our 25th, but I'm happy with what I have.

 

[Mickey'sMainMami]

It's funny, my DH always used to talk about getting me a bigger diamond. I think mine is a nice size and I love the setting. If we had hit the lottery and had disposble income, I would probably put a larger diamond in it, but I wouldn't change the setting. I would also keep the diamond and put it in a necklace or another ring.

 

[Disney Doll]

I'd never replace the diamond. I might someday have to replace the setting as DH chose a thin sort of band and it is getting thinner with each passing year. Just wearing down.

I love my diamonod though.It is a marquis solitaire on a plain white gold band. My wedding band has a little cut out in it so the point of the diamond sort of fits into it, but I could wear the band without the diamond if I Needed to and it would still look good.

 

[LuvLuvLuv]

We've only been married a little over a month and already know an upgrade will happen within the next 5 years--or possibly when we have our first child. I have been very happy with my E-ring and am fortunate enough to have a little over a carat in the middle stone, but the unfortunate part is how big my hands are and that it looks completely lost. We know that we want to replace it with a 2ct stone.

We also bought my wedding band online on a whim because we left it until the last minute. I wish we took more care and shopped more. This will be replaced in November for our 1 year anniversary. I will see how it looks when I move my wedding band to the other side of the ring and may wear it there.

 

[MrsDuck]

Would I, absolutely not. My DH purchased the ring he could afford at the time. I am not materialistic and don't care what it looked/looks like. It makes me smile every time I look at it! Could we afford a bigger one now; absolutely. But, it wouldn't be my engagment ring, it would just be a diamond ring.

This!! And, I got engaged in 2009. Since then DFi has a great job and could definitely afford a "nicer" ring.. but I don't want one. I like what my ring says about us- we got engaged when we were (are) young and in love. Plus, as we all know, the size of the diamond says nothing about the marriage!!

I will be getting a very nice wedding band wrap to match the e-ring.

 

[punkin]

I got married young and then I got fat.

I guess I could resize my engagement and wedding rings, but instead I wear my deceased mother's rings. He diamond solitaire is smaller and of worse quality than mine and her plain gold band is thinner, but the rings have sentimental value.

DH wanted to get me a new ring for our 20th anniversary (he even had it picked out) but I just couldn't see spending that kind of money on something so frivolous. We went to Hawaii instead.

 

[720L]

I did it......and regret it so much! I was able to get a bigger stone, I should have just kept my original setting.....but I got a totally new setting (which I do love)....but it's not the same one he proposed to me on bended knee with. When I was younger I wasn't very sentimental......but now as I get older I am. I did ask him before I did it and he didn't seem to care...but now he says it hurt his feelings. One of my life regrets......

 

[LuLuO]

I love my engagement ring. DH did a fabulous job picking it out. If that wasn't the case though, I think the only time I'd change anything would be if he had gotten yellow gold. I don't like yellow gold and I likely would have had the stones put in another setting with white gold. But, luckily, he chose a white gold ring. I don't think I would completely change the stones or trade up for a bigger stones.

However, for our 10 year anniversary, the plan has always been to have my custom wedding band enhanced with a diamond for each of our kids. If we have the money to spend on it, we'll do it, if not maybe we'll do it at 20 years.

 

[goofyintoronto]

I got married young and then I got fat.

I guess I could resize my engagement and wedding rings, but instead I wear my deceased mother's rings. He diamond solitaire is smaller and of worse quality than mine and her plain gold band is thinner, but the rings have sentimental value.

DH wanted to get me a new ring for our 20th anniversary (he even had it picked out) but I just couldn't see spending that kind of money on something so frivolous. We went to Hawaii instead. >>> this is exactly how i'd do it too! i'd much rather go on a trip to hawaii than have a ring.

Would I, absolutely not. My DH purchased the ring he could afford at the time. I am not materialistic and don't care what it looked/looks like. It makes me smile every time I look at it! Could we afford a bigger one now; absolutely. But, it wouldn't be my engagment ring, it would just be a diamond ring. My DH knew how I felt so for our 10th anniversary he got me a wrap for my engagment. He knew I would never want a different engagement ring. YMMV. >>> This!

This!! And, I got engaged in 2009. Since then DFi has a great job and could definitely afford a "nicer" ring.. but I don't want one. I like what my ring says about us- we got engaged when we were (are) young and in love. Plus, as we all know, the size of the diamond says nothing about the marriage!! >>> Totally agree. very well said.

I would definitely not return the ring, i definitely think its rude. No offense to those who return it, but thats just not me. Im not at all materialistic and dont care what the size of the diamond is. He took the time to pick out the ring that he thought would look good on my finger for the rest of my life is good enough for me.

 

[bumbershoot]

If there is nothing wrong with the one you have (ie, lost, stolen, eaten), I think it's rather rude to replace it.

If it's rude in your relationship, then it's rude in your relationship. Wouldn't be rude in mine. What *would* be rude in my relationship is to hate something but grin and bear it anyway. We just don't believe in that sort of stuff.

But...DH proposed without a ring, so we're not superstitious about the ring stuff at all. In fact the ring stuff caused some massive arguments! I didn't want one, he couldn't hear that (having been brainwashed by his mom who got a new ring every time her husband had another affair that she found out about), he insisted...I found one totally not my style but I was blinded by all the shiny sparkly stuff, just at the end of the return period I realized it had a HUGE flaw in it that wasn't in the one we LOOKED AT at the jewelry store (Gordon's Jewelers shows you a "named" ring, takes it in back and comes out with it wrapped, but it's not the one you were looking at at all!) so I took it back. Had a ring made for me.

And now I can't wear it, not after weight gain which came after (chronologically...the weight gain was much after, not because of) a huge and sudden allergy to naproxen that made my fingers swell even before the weight gain. I look forward to the day I can wear it again, but not b/c it's what he gave me etc etc, but because I like it.

I know a guy who took painstaking efforts to pick out an engagment ring he though his bride-to-be would love. Did lots of studying/research on quality, stressed over the style, etc. Ten years later she admits that the ring is okay but she never really loved it and wants a new one. I know it bugs him.

Maybe he should have spent more time talking to HER, instead of to jewelry stores?



They are just rings! It's words, actions, and intentions that seal the deal with choosing to BE and STAY married! A ring is just the symbol, and since symbols can be destroyed or lost (or outgrown mentally or physically), it probably behooves us to not put SO much superstition into the symbols...

 

[laughinplace199]

I would not trade in my engagement ring. DH picked it out and it's exactly what I wanted.

Also, the story of how he acquired my ring is a bit, well, interesting. He had a friend whose relatives were in the jewelry business, but not retail. I think they made jewelry and sold it to stores. Anyway, after he picked out what he wanted, he made arrangements with his friend's family to pay for it. These arrangements involved paying for the ring in cash, and leaving said cash in a bag at a liquor store for a guy named George.