Would you do this "favor"? Long and vents

[happily single]

I can't beleive the nerve of some people!!!
I'll give you enough background and would you please tell me if I'm wrong here! Thanks.

I have a friend (Donna), whom I have known since we were High School Seniors. I actually knew her husband before I knew Donna. Eventually I introduced them, they get together and have been married 15 years

During the past 8 years Donna un-friended me, and we were "best friends" because I didn't do exactly what she wanted done. To give an example, I was in the midst of divorcing my husband. He had moved out, my ds who has PDD/MR, etc. ended up hospitalized in a psyche unit. It was bad. Even Donna saw how serious it was. During my dealing with having to place my then 5 year old in a hospital my husband was allowed to move home to help with the newborn I had at the house. Donna decided, without asking why husband was back home, that she didn't want to be my friend. See what we're dealing with?

So fast forward to this summer. Donna has weight loss surgery and losses a good amount of weight. She begins training with a young, single trainer. Guess what happens? Well she starts treating her wonderful husband horribly. Eventually kicks him out, but the sucker he is he continues TO GIVE HER HIS ENTIRE PAYCHECK, minus gas/food money!!

I'm a paralegal and she asks me to prepare the divorce paperwork. I refuse, because I think SHE needs to work on things. Husband has done NOTHING wrong here and has no idea his wife is cheating on him. I do, after she asks me, tell her what he would be ordered to pay in child support. She informs me since that insn't enough money for her she isn't going to divorce him! Rotten, Rotten Rotten. Anywho I make a comment about how child support is for the support of the kids and not to ....your trainer. She hung up on me.

TOLD YOU THIS WAS LOOONG. Anyways, 1 month later boyfriend and I break up. She freaking calls him and starts working for him. Not only that, I loved his kids like my own, but yet she always gave me a hard time for watching them. Guess what?? She know babysits them in addition to working in his office.

Husband finally figures out she's cheating (after she convinced him to go away for their anniversary two weeks ago). She LIES and gives him the name of one of their mutual friends who happens to be married and living 4 states away.

So today my aunt, who is a friend of hers through me, calls and asks me to prepare Donna's divorce paperwork. I refuse. So now my aunt is mad at me and thinks I"m rotten

WOULD YOU PREPARE THIS WOMAN'S DIVORCE PAPERWORK FOR HER?

 

[mouseforcemom]

I would just say "I don't like to mix personal and business." And leave it at that.

 

[amberg@eastlink.ca]

no. i'd say it's a conflict of interest. esp since you knew him first and introduced them. if she can't be grown up and see that it is for you, she's not worth it.

what if you do so and so and five yrs down the road it comes back to haunt her or she doesn't like it. shes then going to hold that over your head.

 

[minkydog]

No, I would not. I would give her the names of 3 other paralegals who might not mind doing it. But I think you are completely within reason to take a pass. They can all think what they please. Moral integrity trumps other people's feelings, IMO.

 

[Handbag Lady]

I can't beleive the nerve of some people!!!
I'll give you enough background and would you please tell me if I'm wrong here! Thanks.

I have a friend (Donna), whom I have known since we were High School Seniors. I actually knew her husband before I knew Donna. Eventually I introduced them, they get together and have been married 15 years

During the past 8 years Donna un-friended me, and we were "best friends" because I didn't do exactly what she wanted done. To give an example, I was in the midst of divorcing my husband. He had moved out, my ds who has PDD/MR, etc. ended up hospitalized in a psyche unit. It was bad. Even Donna saw how serious it was. During my dealing with having to place my then 5 year old in a hospital my husband was allowed to move home to help with the newborn I had at the house. Donna decided, without asking why husband was back home, that she didn't want to be my friend. See what we're dealing with?

So fast forward to this summer. Donna has weight loss surgery and losses a good amount of weight. She begins training with a young, single trainer. Guess what happens? Well she starts treating her wonderful husband horribly. Eventually kicks him out, but the sucker he is he continues TO GIVE HER HIS ENTIRE PAYCHECK, minus gas/food money!!

I'm a paralegal and she asks me to prepare the divorce paperwork. I refuse, because I think SHE needs to work on things. Husband has done NOTHING wrong here and has no idea his wife is cheating on him. I do, after she asks me, tell her what he would be ordered to pay in child support. She informs me since that insn't enough money for her she isn't going to divorce him! Rotten, Rotten Rotten. Anywho I make a comment about how child support is for the support of the kids and not to ....your trainer. She hung up on me.

TOLD YOU THIS WAS LOOONG. Anyways, 1 month later boyfriend and I break up. She freaking calls him and starts working for him. Not only that, I loved his kids like my own, but yet she always gave me a hard time for watching them. Guess what?? She know babysits them in addition to working in his office.

Husband finally figures out she's cheating (after she convinced him to go away for their anniversary two weeks ago). She LIES and gives him the name of one of their mutual friends who happens to be married and living 4 states away.

So today my aunt, who is a friend of hers through me, calls and asks me to prepare Donna's divorce paperwork. I refuse. So now my aunt is mad at me and thinks I"m rotten

WOULD YOU PREPARE THIS WOMAN'S DIVORCE PAPERWORK FOR HER?

No. I really wouldn't be friends with people like this.

 

[hereyago]

Heck to the no!!!!!

Tell your aunt to stay out of it, because you are out of the situation.

With "friends" like Donna, you don't need enemies.

 

[C.Ann]

Absolutely not.. Even under the best of circumstances, it would not be a good idea..

 

[hereyago]

No, I would not. I would give her the names of 3 other paralegals who might not mind doing it. But I think you are completely within reason to take a pass. They can all think what they please. Moral integrity trumps other people's feelings, IMO.

Better yet, since OP's aunt is so gaga over Donna, let her aunt find her a paralegal.

 

[Topper]

The answer is:


HELL NO!

 

[Becky2005]

This definitely has "no good deed goes unpunished" written all over it & I wouldn't even necessarily put it in the good deed category.

My hunch is she is going through your aunt since you told her no already. She figures she can get to you via family.

I would most definitely be distancing myself from her as things are going to come back to bite you no matter what.

 

[redlight]

I'd tell her no. If that's not enough, I'd tell her that I don't mix friendship with business.

 

[happily single]

Thanks for all the support. I'm not second guessing myself, I just can't beleive someone would behave that way and then expect me to do her that favor. But even if I did do the paperwork there is no way she could handle the hearing in court or the paperwork afterwards. And Paralegals aren't allowed to assist in court.

I think I will give my aunt the name of a few paralegals I know, but caution her, that unless they know exactly what to ask her Donna will loose the house that her husband has worked, while she stayed home,

FYI: You may remember back over the summer I posted about a "friend" who wouldn't return my special needs son's calls because she was mad at me. Yup, same beauty. Claims she NEVER had even one missed call from me, let alone MESSAGES from my son. Off to print off my phone bill to show my dear beleiving aunt.

 

[Luv Bunnies]

Not only would I not do her paperwork, I would not be friends with her anymore. She sounds self-centered and toxic and not good for you or your son to be around.

 

[hereyago]

I think I will give my aunt the name of a few paralegals I know, but caution her, that unless they know exactly what to ask her Donna will loose the house that her husband has worked, while she stayed home,
.

Why even tell your aunt? She is grown, let her fingers do the walking for Donna. And why caution her? let Donna lose the house. Or am I just understanding wrong that you would want to give her a heads up to help Donna?

And why get into the drama of showing your aunt about the phone call stuff? I am quite sure she will get a 'taste" of what the girl is really like.

 

[Ceila]

I would not continue to involve this person in my life. It sounds like you are allowing, and maybe even contributing to, the drama. You've said, no, so you don't need to say anything to her again. As for your aunt, simply explain that it would be a conflict of interest and leave it at that. Rehashing old wounds and trying to "prove" that she isn't a nice person is just contributing to the drama. Let it go.

 

[momof1princess]

OP, as a former legal secretary, i can say without hesitation i would not do any legal paperwork for this women. btdt, it NEVER ends well. she will never be grateful to you for your hard work and no matter how favorable the divorce judgement is to her, it will never be enough, and whatever she doesn't get, she will blame YOU for it.
not only would i not work for her, i honestly don't think i could be friends with her anymore. and an aunt of yours siding with her and calling you rotten? i'd cut the aunt loose as well. whatever you decide, OP, good luck. it sounds like you're between a rock and a hard place.

 

[rie'smom]

Tell her no and then call her soon to be ex and tell him if he needs a witness to her having the affair, you'll do it gladly.

 

[cm8]

I can't beleive the nerve of some people!!!
I'll give you enough background and would you please tell me if I'm wrong here! Thanks.

I have a friend (Donna), whom I have known since we were High School Seniors. I actually knew her husband before I knew Donna. Eventually I introduced them, they get together and have been married 15 years

During the past 8 years Donna un-friended me, and we were "best friends" because I didn't do exactly what she wanted done. To give an example, I was in the midst of divorcing my husband. He had moved out, my ds who has PDD/MR, etc. ended up hospitalized in a psyche unit. It was bad. Even Donna saw how serious it was. During my dealing with having to place my then 5 year old in a hospital my husband was allowed to move home to help with the newborn I had at the house. Donna decided, without asking why husband was back home, that she didn't want to be my friend. See what we're dealing with?

So fast forward to this summer. Donna has weight loss surgery and losses a good amount of weight. She begins training with a young, single trainer. Guess what happens? Well she starts treating her wonderful husband horribly. Eventually kicks him out, but the sucker he is he continues TO GIVE HER HIS ENTIRE PAYCHECK, minus gas/food money!!

I'm a paralegal and she asks me to prepare the divorce paperwork. I refuse, because I think SHE needs to work on things. Husband has done NOTHING wrong here and has no idea his wife is cheating on him. I do, after she asks me, tell her what he would be ordered to pay in child support. She informs me since that insn't enough money for her she isn't going to divorce him! Rotten, Rotten Rotten. Anywho I make a comment about how child support is for the support of the kids and not to ....your trainer. She hung up on me.

TOLD YOU THIS WAS LOOONG. Anyways, 1 month later boyfriend and I break up. She freaking calls him and starts working for him. Not only that, I loved his kids like my own, but yet she always gave me a hard time for watching them. Guess what?? She know babysits them in addition to working in his office.

Husband finally figures out she's cheating (after she convinced him to go away for their anniversary two weeks ago). She LIES and gives him the name of one of their mutual friends who happens to be married and living 4 states away.

So today my aunt, who is a friend of hers through me, calls and asks me to prepare Donna's divorce paperwork. I refuse. So now my aunt is mad at me and thinks I"m rotten

WOULD YOU PREPARE THIS WOMAN'S DIVORCE PAPERWORK FOR HER?

No, and I would tell her husband that I would prepare his just because( only if he wanted me too)

 

[happily single]

Thanks for all the encouragement. I AM NOT friends with her anymore. She ended it when she hung up on me and hasn't spoken to me since then.

I'm not trying to "stay involved" in this drama. I hate hate hate when someone thinks I'm being untrueful or outright lying. The phones calls my son placed to her, which are documented in my phone bill, will show my aunt what a lying snake this person really is. Other than that I am done.

I would love to prepare the paperwork for "Jim" but that's only half t he battle. There is still the court hearing and after-court paperwork to be done. But, I'm done. Soo out of it. Unfortunately I'm at the point where I don't want my kids around her kids anymore.

 

[Carly_Roach]

I can't beleive the nerve of some people!!!
I'll give you enough background and would you please tell me if I'm wrong here! Thanks.

I have a friend (Donna), whom I have known since we were High School Seniors. I actually knew her husband before I knew Donna. Eventually I introduced them, they get together and have been married 15 years

During the past 8 years Donna un-friended me, and we were "best friends" because I didn't do exactly what she wanted done. To give an example, I was in the midst of divorcing my husband. He had moved out, my ds who has PDD/MR, etc. ended up hospitalized in a psyche unit. It was bad. Even Donna saw how serious it was. During my dealing with having to place my then 5 year old in a hospital my husband was allowed to move home to help with the newborn I had at the house. Donna decided, without asking why husband was back home, that she didn't want to be my friend. See what we're dealing with?

So fast forward to this summer. Donna has weight loss surgery and losses a good amount of weight. She begins training with a young, single trainer. Guess what happens? Well she starts treating her wonderful husband horribly. Eventually kicks him out, but the sucker he is he continues TO GIVE HER HIS ENTIRE PAYCHECK, minus gas/food money!!

I'm a paralegal and she asks me to prepare the divorce paperwork. I refuse, because I think SHE needs to work on things. Husband has done NOTHING wrong here and has no idea his wife is cheating on him. I do, after she asks me, tell her what he would be ordered to pay in child support. She informs me since that insn't enough money for her she isn't going to divorce him! Rotten, Rotten Rotten. Anywho I make a comment about how child support is for the support of the kids and not to ....your trainer. She hung up on me.

TOLD YOU THIS WAS LOOONG. Anyways, 1 month later boyfriend and I break up. She freaking calls him and starts working for him. Not only that, I loved his kids like my own, but yet she always gave me a hard time for watching them. Guess what?? She know babysits them in addition to working in his office.

Husband finally figures out she's cheating (after she convinced him to go away for their anniversary two weeks ago). She LIES and gives him the name of one of their mutual friends who happens to be married and living 4 states away.

So today my aunt, who is a friend of hers through me, calls and asks me to prepare Donna's divorce paperwork. I refuse. So now my aunt is mad at me and thinks I"m rotten

WOULD YOU PREPARE THIS WOMAN'S DIVORCE PAPERWORK FOR HER?

No. If she wants a divorce she should have to pay a lawyer for services like everyone else.