Would you continue to invite this person?

[teacups]

Let's say there is one person who always ruins everything for everyone at all events or gatherings. Let's say this person has a dog and this person is always asked to leave the dog at home, but instead they bring the dog anyway saying they will hold it on thier lap. The dog then pee's on everything, barks all the time and causes much tension. Let's say this person is so awful that the kids at any event will try to stay in thier rooms, or generally avoid this person as much as possible.

Would you continue to invite this person?
Would it depend on who this person was... or would anyone who acted this way be up for getting "the boot"?

 

[brockash]

I'd say it depends, but unless they were really really close to you, then heck no.

 

[akhenaten]

Let's say there is one person who always ruins everything for everyone at all events or gatherings. Let's say this person has a dog and this person is always asked to leave the dog at home, but instead they bring the dog anyway saying they will hold it on thier lap. The dog then pee's on everything, barks all the time and causes much tension. Let's say this person is so awful that the kids at any event will try to stay in thier rooms, or generally avoid this person as much as possible.

Would you continue to invite this person?
Would it depend on who this person was... or would anyone who acted this way be up for getting "the boot"?

I think it depends on how close a relation the person was and what kind of event.... boot would be possible ...
for example..dh has a cousin like this.... his sisters would not boot her.... so now we do not go....
so siblings split over a cousin... not cool.....

 

[cruellababy]

No, I wouldn't. Now, if it was my mom/dad that might be harder-but I still wouldn't invite-let it come to a head and then tell them why.

 

[natenapril]

nope

 

[Uncle Remus]

Let's say there is one person who always ruins everything for everyone at all events or gatherings. Let's say this person has a dog and this person is always asked to leave the dog at home, but instead they bring the dog anyway saying they will hold it on thier lap. The dog then pee's on everything, barks all the time and causes much tension. Let's say this person is so awful that the kids at any event will try to stay in thier rooms, or generally avoid this person as much as possible.

Would you continue to invite this person?
Would it depend on who this person was... or would anyone who acted this way be up for getting "the boot"?

I wouldn't invite 'em, but that's just me.

 

[Pakey]

It would not matter who it was, I would not invite them. If they asked why, I would tell them the truth.

 

[PatsMom]

I can't think of anyone in my family I would still invite to my home if they behaved like that. Never mind a friend or acquaintance!

 

[ntsammy5]

Nope - just invite the dog!

 

[Tuffcookie]

teacups, Don't you just love the holidays!

I have an adult nephew who fits your description. My sister invites him to all gatherings because he doesn't have anyone else. Even though he has done some terrible things in the past and is very depressing to talk to, sis, bless her heart, continues to include him.

I go along with it because I don't want to give sis any grief over it and I know it is what our DM, rest her soul, would want.

If at all possible, show compassion.

TC

 

[bookgirl]

Let's say there is one person who always ruins everything for everyone at all events or gatherings. Let's say this person has a dog and this person is always asked to leave the dog at home, but instead they bring the dog anyway saying they will hold it on thier lap. The dog then pee's on everything, barks all the time and causes much tension. Let's say this person is so awful that the kids at any event will try to stay in thier rooms, or generally avoid this person as much as possible.

Would you continue to invite this person?
Would it depend on who this person was... or would anyone who acted this way be up for getting "the boot"?

Just guessing buy no you can't uninvite grandma....LOL.

Seriously though I would give them the ultimative, or next time I'd have a dog crate handy with the warning that if the dog shows up it goes in the crate.....on the porch.

 

[WDWRocksMySocks]

I would not continue to invite them, unless it was a close relative. In that case, I would tell them in a not so nice way to leave the dog at home or bring a suitable crate to contain the dog in. I would also attempt to talk to them about the tension that the person is creating. Definitely try communicating w/ them. Although, sometimes that just doesn't work. Good luck!

 

[The Mystery Machine]

No, no, and no.

 

[GRUMPY PIRATE]

Lets say this is a no brainer...

Ummm, NO!!!!


(if they have a track record of causing problems and spoiling everyone elses time because they insist on bringing the dog, even after they were asked not to...well, one definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over, and expecting different results.......)

 

[Philagoofy]

I'm sorry. I swear this time I'll leave the dog at home. I promise.
Ok? So am I invited now?

 

[kristilew]

Just guessing buy no you can't uninvite grandma....LOL.

Seriously though I would give them the ultimative, or next time I'd have a dog crate handy with the warning that if the dog shows up it goes in the crate.....on the porch.

Apparently, OP and I have the same uncle. This is what I did last Christmas, exactly. As soon as the dog was held at counter height, shedding all over the food, I physically took it from DearUncle and put it in a crate on the porch, saying "I'm sure you'll be able to enjoy your dinner more now that your hands are free."

 

[inaminute]

I would give the person one last chance, but it would be very clear that if they brought the dog, they would not be invited again.

Yes, I'd force them to make a choice between their family/friend or the dog. I would be very firm and would make sure the person understood that they were welcome but the dog is not. If the dog accompanies the person it would have to stay outside or in their car. It's the person's problem. Don't make it yours. Create your rules, firmly state them, and follow through with the consequences. If this is an in-law, make sure your spouse is onboard as well.

I love dogs and have two of my own. I adore my girls, but would never force them on anyone else. Especially in someone elses home!

 

[cinmell]

Would you continue to invite this person?

NO WAY!

 

[GRUMPY PIRATE]

I'm sorry. I swear this time I'll leave the dog at home. I promise.
Ok? So am I invited now?

nope!


But, like my previous post, it would probably only take one or two "Not invited" situations for the "message" to get through that the dog, and the behavior, is not acceptable to all, and that MAY cause a change. (but I would not count on that, as a direct request to leave the pooch at home was ignored)

 

[NotUrsula]

But, like my previous post, it would probably only take one or two "Not invited" situations for the "message" to get through that the dog, and the behavior, is not acceptable to all, and that MAY cause a change. (but I would not count on that, as a direct request to leave the pooch at home was ignored)

Oh, don't doubt it. People like this *really* think that their dogs merit the same consideration (and conditions) as other people's children. They will NOT stop bringing the dog, and probably would not accept any more invitations if Poochy was met at the door with a locked crate. They'll just sulk for a decade or so until a new host takes over, and then they will show up at the new location with Poochy's successor.

If you have to keep the peace by inviting people like this, then you have to supply the crate for the animal, and you also have to lock the crate if you don't want them letting the animal out of it in the middle of the party. This kind of person will do any end-run possible to protect Poochy's dignity from the bid bad meany, so you have to be prepared to thwart them.