Would you be proud of your son or daughter if they Joined the Army?

[HomeSweetDisney]

Of course I would be proud. My husband has been in the Army for 18 years, following a four year stint in the Marines. He has been stationed in many places and done many honorable, worthwhile things. The war in Iraq has been a very small part of his service, if we re looking at the big picture.

He's been over there twice and has yet to have his head blown off, at least not that I have noticed. Of course I won't pretend it isn't dangerous - but there are many valid jobs that are dangerous; police, firefighters, coalmining, fisherman, oil drilling, construction, border patrol, demolition workers, lumberjacks -- Google "dangerous jobs" or watch a few episodes of Dirty Jobs and you'll see all sorts of jobs that are inherently risky but someone has to do them.

Personally - I think the war in Iraq was a stupid idea, and it's a colossal mess that some other President will have to clean up and that a trained monkey could do a better job than our current "Commander in Chief".

But those feelings are completely separate from how I feel about the military in general. I am absolutely certain that my husband would not have flourished in any other career as he has in the military. Which is not to say that there are not particular stresses that come with this way of life - as there are with any job I am sure. But there are particular benefits too, and I don't mean the health care and 10% discount at Payless Shoes.

Leadership, self-respect, teamwork, pride in a job well done - I'm sure it makes a lot of people roll their eyes to hear that but yes, it is what my husband learned in his military career, and what he is proud to pass on to younger soldiers. Is the military the only place you can learn those things? Of course not. But those lessons are not any less valid because you can learn them in more than one place.

Great post and I agree with you.

 

[cardaway]

If it was the best fit for him/her, yes.

 

[shirleyb]

All I can say to the OP, is (my most hated DIS expression) - Wow, just wow.

I have a 17 yo old son, who plans to join the military when he graduates next year, and I couldn't be prouder.

He doesn't yet know what branch he'll join, but I'm proud that I've raised a young man who has put the needs of his fellow Americans ahead of his own.

OP, my son will gladly fight if he has to so that you can have the right to free speech.

ETA My nephew is in basic training right now, and while of course we'll worry about him, I'm so darn proud that he realized the military is exactly what he needed to help him grow up.

 

[JennyMominRI]

IHe doesn't yet .

There's more than one branch?

 

[Database]

There's more than one branch?

 

[smartestnumber5]

I'm not a parent yet, but I do not think I would be proud--just as I wouldn't be proud if my child joined any other organization I find morally or politically problematic. (Perhaps I could be proud of her/his dedication or courage or something like that, even though I disagreed with the purpose to which s/he was using it ) But of course, it would be her/his choice--not mine.

For those who have trouble understanding why someone might not be proud of their child's decision to join the military given that such an occupation requires great sacrafice, bravery, and desire to help others, consider an analogy. What if your child decided to become an abortionist? Personally, I would be quite proud of such a decision. (I would, though, be very scared for their well being given the terrorism within our country which is aimed at abortionists; given the political climate and the threat to one's physical safety which some abortionists undergo, I think this occupation would require a good deal of bravery and self-sacrafice--though likely not as much as anyone who has bullets or bombs flying at them on a regular basis.) I understand though, that probably most people would have trouble being happy or proud of such a decision of their childs. My own parents are pro-choice and know that the providing of abortions is quite necessary; yet if I became an abortionist, I highly doubt they would talk about my occupation as noble, though perhaps they could appreciate my being true to my convictions or something like that.

I'm sure anyone who thinks that abortion is sometimes morally questionable would have a much more difficult time feeling proud. I assume it would not matter that the child believes that they are making the world a better place nor that the child is dedicated and brave for a parent who thinks that abortions (at least as they occur in this country at this time) actually make the world a worse place.

 

[Zippa D Doodah]

I would be extremely proud and extremely worried.

 

[grlpwrd]

I grew up in Hawaii and I have relatives, friends, and classmates who served or are serving.

We also live near Norfolk so we're surrounded by men and women who serve. I am a Girl Scout leader with about 90% of our troop made up of military families, too.

My answer is yes. I would be scared and worried, but proud.

 

[JunieJay]

I'd be proud of my child if they became an abortionist. Someone has to be brave enough to help women in need. Then again, I'm pro choice so I sort of see your point. Still, even if my child were to become an anti abortion spokesperson, I think I would still be proud from the standpoint that he/she was doing something they feel passionate about.

I honestly think I would be proud of my child whatever their choices, as long as they were legal and something they really wanted to do. As a mother, I have a hard time imagining not being supportive of my child's choices, even if they were different than my own.

 

[Planogirl]

This is a difficult question to answer.

I don't know that I would be proud of my son for joining the military even though I would be supportive. I can see myself being proud of him excelling in whatever profession he chooses and that includes the military.

Both of my sister-in-law's sons have joined the Marines. The eldest did so because he didn't know what else to do or so he said and the younger did so because his brother had or so HE said. She spends a lot of time quietly crying and I feel sorry for her. I don't know how I'd react, quietly of course.

 

[smartestnumber5]

I'd be proud of my child if they became an abortionist. Someone has to be brave enough to help women in need. Then again, I'm pro choice so I sort of see your point. Still, even if my child were to become an anti abortion spokesperson, I think I would still be proud from the standpoint that he/she was doing something they feel passionate about.

I honestly think I would be proud of my child whatever their choices, as long as they were legal and something they really wanted to do. As a mother, I have a hard time imagining not being supportive of my child's choices, even if they were different than my own.

Well not being a parent I don't know what it's like to be proud of a child at all. But I think I'd have trouble being proud if my child became a leader in the anti-abortion movement. I think I could be proud of their passion and their dedication, but I don't think I could be proud of them for hurting people (which is what I feel the anti-abortion movement does). Of course, I think I would understand that from my child's pov they were protecting innocent life, and I would be proud that they desire to help people, even if I thought they were wrong about what does in fact help people.

I guess the difference between being proud of "my child being an abortionists" vs. "doing what they believe will help people" or "being courageous in following their convictions" gets murky. Could one be proud of one but not the other? I don't know.

 

[JunieJay]

Well not being a parent I don't know what it's like to be proud of a child at all. But I think I'd have trouble being proud if my child became a leader in the anti-abortion movement. I think I could be proud of their passion and their dedication, but I don't think I could be proud of them for hurting people (which is what I feel the anti-abortion movement does). Of course, I think I would understand that from my child's pov they were protecting innocent life, and I would be proud that they desire to help people, even if I thought they were wrong about what does in fact help people.

I guess the difference between being proud of "my child being an abortionists" vs. "doing what they believe will help people" or "being courageous in following their convictions" gets murky. Could one be proud of one but not the other? I don't know.

I see your point. It is murky.

Hopefully our children learn from the values we have taught them. I'm relatively sure neither of my children will become anti abortionists. I'm not anti military, only anti Iraq war, but they really have no exposure to anyone in the military and its doubtful they would chose that for a profession. That said, their father is in law enforcement, and the military is certainly not the only job they could take that would put them in danger. If I had my way, they would be teachers or doctors - I'm leery of any job they would take that would put them in danger. I really have only a positive view of the military and people in the military, even though my position on the war in Iraq is anything but positive. I can separate the two, I think, but as you said, it is a bit murky.

 

[Robinrs]

My son would be perfect for the military, I've always said he reminds me of a a young Colin Powell.

However it would worry the heck out of me but if he chose it, I'd support him.

 

[GJM]

All I can say is Wow also to the OP!

If my DS joined the military I would be very proud of him, I would also be very worried about him, but it is his choice to make.

I know someone who had no direction in their life, they joined the military and he has done so well, it was a total turn around.

I don't think it is brainwashing at all - my DH was an AF recruiter, and most kids wanted to join for the longest time. They didn't see a commerical on TV and decide that is what they wanted to do.

Thank you to all of our military -

 

[kctwinmommy]

ok i haven't read all the responses however, one question. what if your child wanted to be a fire fighter, or a policeman? they are putting themselves in harms way in that profession too. do you just disagree with all professions that involve protecting others or is it just these special ones?

Exactly what I was thinking!!! I'm so glad I had open minded parents who let me choose what I wanted to do. Which included joining the military and becoming a police officer. They fully supported me every step of the way. I'm sure they were worried at times, but they understood it was my decision to make. And they were always proud of me too! And they were proud cuz I grew up, made my choices, did my job, and turned out pretty good (at least I think so). I also live the fact every day that my DH could be called to a dangerous location for the military, or have to take a police call where he could get hurt, or be killed in a car crash 1 block from our house.

I didn't read every response, just didn't have the time right now. But I'm glad that there are many other people who would also support their child. It's not brainwashing, it's making a choice to defend our country and those who can't do it themselves. Haven't we often fought for others?? We've participated in many campaigns that weren't on our soil.

Also, when it comes to the facts of them being killed, there are just as many chances of them being killed in every day life, not just being in the military. I know there are military members killed every single day, who aren't anywhere near the combat zones. They die in car crashes, domestic violence, work accidents, and suicides. Oh, and the suicides are not all related to anything PTSD. Here's a link to a chart, look on pages 11 & 12, where it shows the breakdown of deaths. You have to look and compare, but on page 12 is shows the # of hostile action deaths, and it's still not more than all the other ways military members die. http://www.fas.org/sgp/crs/natsec/RL32492.pdf

I'm not saying that I want my children to join and die for their country. Nobody wants that. We know our friends grieve for the loss of their son who was killed there 2 years ago. But his father continues to serve in the AF, and does so honorably, knowing his son made his own choices and was proud of him.

 

[lovemygoofy]

My husband is one of those brainwashed people. I don't know how or why I'm proud but I guess it's because he isn't my child. He has been in 10 years and been to Iraq twice and getting ready for a third tour and still has all 10 toes and fingers and all his head parts. He is a college educated man who is choosing to stay in. No, he doesn't go around killing babies and maiming elderly people.

Over one million soliders, sailors, marines, and airmen have rotated in and out of Iraq since 2003. Yes the 3000+ casualities are horrible but you take the number compared to number of people roated in and out and you find statiscally that you are more likely to die in an automobile crash than in Iraq.

BTW, lets talk about a little forgotten war in Afghanstain. Is that a just war? A reason for someone to be proud of the child serving in a war? I don't get the idea that some believe that a war can be picked or what reasons are just for war. What would happen if there were not brave, selfless people willing to protect this country and our freedoms?

One last thing and I'm done with this. My husband's family isn't that thrilled or proud of his service. They do not send him cards or goodie boxes when deployed and can hardly be bothered to talk to him on the phone when he calls from 10k miles away. His job, to them, is a job with the name on the shirt and just not good enough. I wonder if they ever wonder why my husband can't be bothered enough to go see his family or pretty much has dropped all contact. I guess I was raised weird. I was raised that family is family to the end and you are proud that they are productive adults doing the American Way as long as nothing illegal is involved. Some of these mighty additudes are going to get a major wake up call some day with out when their child realizes that unconditonal love and support only happens if done they way the parent wants.

 

[transparant]

My husband is one of those brainwashed people. I don't know how or why I'm proud but I guess it's because he isn't my child. He has been in 10 years and been to Iraq twice and getting ready for a third tour and still has all 10 toes and fingers and all his head parts. He is a college educated man who is choosing to stay in. No, he doesn't go around killing babies and maiming elderly people.

Over one million soliders, sailors, marines, and airmen have rotated in and out of Iraq since 2003. Yes the 3000+ casualities are horrible but you take the number compared to number of people roated in and out and you find statiscally that you are more likely to die in an automobile crash than in Iraq.

BTW, lets talk about a little forgotten war in Afghanstain. Is that a just war? A reason for someone to be proud of the child serving in a war? I don't get the idea that some believe that a war can be picked or what reasons are just for war. What would happen if there were not brave, selfless people willing to protect this country and our freedoms?

One last thing and I'm done with this. My husband's family isn't that thrilled or proud of his service. They do not send him cards or goodie boxes when deployed and can hardly be bothered to talk to him on the phone when he calls from 10k miles away. His job, to them, is a job with the name on the shirt and just not good enough. I wonder if they ever wonder why my husband can't be bothered enough to go see his family or pretty much has dropped all contact. I guess I was raised weird. I was raised that family is family to the end and you are proud that they are productive adults doing the American Way as long as nothing illegal is involved. Some of these mighty additudes are going to get a major wake up call some day with out when their child realizes that unconditonal love and support only happens if done they way the parent wants.

Well said Tina!

 

[doxdogy]

Well said Tina!!! If your DH ever needs an adopted mom to call and talk to, I am sure that are quite a few of us that will be more than happy to adopt him. And tell him that they are proud of the both of you!!!

My husband is one of those brainwashed people. I don't know how or why I'm proud but I guess it's because he isn't my child. He has been in 10 years and been to Iraq twice and getting ready for a third tour and still has all 10 toes and fingers and all his head parts. He is a college educated man who is choosing to stay in. No, he doesn't go around killing babies and maiming elderly people.

Over one million soliders, sailors, marines, and airmen have rotated in and out of Iraq since 2003. Yes the 3000+ casualities are horrible but you take the number compared to number of people roated in and out and you find statiscally that you are more likely to die in an automobile crash than in Iraq.

BTW, lets talk about a little forgotten war in Afghanstain. Is that a just war? A reason for someone to be proud of the child serving in a war? I don't get the idea that some believe that a war can be picked or what reasons are just for war. What would happen if there were not brave, selfless people willing to protect this country and our freedoms?

One last thing and I'm done with this. My husband's family isn't that thrilled or proud of his service. They do not send him cards or goodie boxes when deployed and can hardly be bothered to talk to him on the phone when he calls from 10k miles away. His job, to them, is a job with the name on the shirt and just not good enough. I wonder if they ever wonder why my husband can't be bothered enough to go see his family or pretty much has dropped all contact. I guess I was raised weird. I was raised that family is family to the end and you are proud that they are productive adults doing the American Way as long as nothing illegal is involved. Some of these mighty additudes are going to get a major wake up call some day with out when their child realizes that unconditonal love and support only happens if done they way the parent wants.

 

[JunieJay]

BTW, lets talk about a little forgotten war in Afghanstain. Is that a just war? A reason for someone to be proud of the child serving in a war? I don't get the idea that some believe that a war can be picked or what reasons are just for war. What would happen if there were not brave, selfless people willing to protect this country and our freedoms?

I think this is it in a nutshell, you can't really pick and choose. Its either something you think is a noble profession, or it isn't. I might not be for this war, but there may come a day where there is a war I feel is worth fighting for, and I don't discount the people brave enough to fight it for me.

 

[Luv'sTink]

Just a quick question for the pacifists:

Exactly how can we protect our country if we do not have any military at all? Or is the military fine for other people, ie you want the protection it provides...but don't want to be involved in any way?

That is exactly what they are saying!

I have a niece, nephew and nephew in law in the military right now! I am proud of them all for choosing to protect my sorry butt as well as yours!