Would you baptize your child to make the grandparents happy?

[WhatATreat]

We did it to make my grandparents happy. We simply didn't feel very strongly about it one way or the other and they did so we went ahead and did it. We don't go to church though and our son hasn't had any formal religious education or made any of the other sacraments.

 

[AtlantaSue]

No.
For me personally, the hypocrisy (sp?) would bother me too much.

 

[Disney Doll]

We didn't do it with our children, but we have friends who did just to shut their parents up. Other friends have had the weddings they didn't want to have to please their folks. Apparently my mother-in-law was so distressed about our choice not to baptise that she got her hands on some "holy" water and sprinkled the kids when she was holding them. We only heard about this after she died. I should probably be mad, but I actually think it was done out of love. She wasn't exactly qualified for the job, but she probably figured it was better than nothing.

Actually, anyone can baptize a child, technically. My late DMIL was a maternity nurse and she baptized every baby that came out while she was there.

The basic idea behind Baptism is that it erases the "stain" of Original Sin & if a baby wasn't baptized and they died, they'd be in Limbo for eternity. That's why anyone can baptize, if you felt that the baby was in danger of dying unbaptized and therefore sentenced to spending eternity in Limbo. My DMIL used to justify it by saying that any newborn could die of SIDs or any number of unexpected things.

Don't yap at me...I didn't make the rules!

To the OP, I probably would baptize to make my parents feel better. They've been such good parents that if a small thing like this would make them happy, I'd do it. Especially if DH didn't have any major objections.

 

[smartestnumber5]

Never.

As others have said, I doubt you'd be able to anyway unless you lied. And does the Catholic Church now have Baptism classes for parents? I know they have them for almost any other sacrament.

Does your Dad know you'd have to lie? And he still wants you to do it?

If you really want to get him off your back, maybe you should contact a Priest and try to set things in motion but tell him the truth upfront. I'm sure he'll refuse to be involved and then how can your father object

 

[freckles and boo]

Actually, anyone can baptize a child, technically. My late DMIL was a maternity nurse and she baptized every baby that came out while she was there.

The basic idea behind Baptism is that it erases the "stain" of Original Sin & if a baby wasn't baptized and they died, they'd be in Limbo for eternity.

Don't yap at me...I didn't make the rules!

No yapping this time. As I said, I know it was done because she loved them. Even though it was a little sneaky...

ETA - had this been ten years earlier she probably would have sprinkled them with scotch and then brushed the cigarette ashes off their little heads so I guess it could have been worse!

 

[Cindyluwho]

Never.

As others have said, I doubt you'd be able to anyway unless you lied. And does the Catholic Church now have Baptism classes for parents? I know they have them for almost any other sacrament.

Does your Dad know you'd have to lie? And he still wants you to do it?

If you really want to get him off your back, maybe you should contact a Priest and try to set things in motion but tell him the truth upfront. I'm sure he'll refuse to be involved and then how can your father object

If you read my post above you'll see that priests can and do make exceptions to the rules. We had no intention of raising our DD in the church and there was NO way I was going to take classes. They will in fact do the baptism just for the benefit of the grandparents.

 

[rt2dz]

I'm going to answer without reading replies, so that I'm uninfluenced.

No. All christian religions baptize, not just Catholics, and it is as a show of faith. You are telling God that you intend to raise your child to believe in him. If you're not, then why baptize?

I get what you are saying, to please the grandparents, but it's a little bit more than just hypocracy, imo. Only baptize if that is something YOU (and your DH) believe in. Your DD can always baptize herself later. Only catholism (I believe) has the baptism-heaven link. Our church (non-demoniational Christian) will only baptize if it is the decision of the person being baptized, and they must be in Kindergarten or beyond to make that decision.

If you do go ahead and do it though, why not look for a non-demoniational church since you and DH are not Catholic? You said you believe something, so maybe that will make you feel better. By going non-demoniational, you kind of get rid of the rituals and back to the basic teachings.

 

[smartestnumber5]

If you read my post above you'll see that priests can and do make exceptions to the rules. We had no intention of raising our DD in the church and there was NO way I was going to take classes. They will in fact do the baptism just for the benefit of the grandparents.

I only skimmed the previous posts and must have missed that. I guess my advice is not going to help then.

Your story reminds me of Sex and the City when Miranda agrees to let Brady be baptized. She strikes out a ton of the language usually used in baptisms and Carrie's voiceover says, "I guess in these troubled times the Catholic Church will take anyone they can get"

 

[Lyn5]

Actually, anyone can baptize a child, technically. My late DMIL was a maternity nurse and she baptized every baby that came out while she was there.

The basic idea behind Baptism is that it erases the "stain" of Original Sin & if a baby wasn't baptized and they died, they'd be in Limbo for eternity. That's why anyone can baptize, if you felt that the baby was in danger of dying unbaptized and therefore sentenced to spending eternity in Limbo. My DMIL used to justify it by saying that any newborn could die of SIDs or any number of unexpected things.

Don't yap at me...I didn't make the rules!

To the OP, I probably would baptize to make my parents feel better. They've been such good parents that if a small thing like this would make them happy, I'd do it. Especially if DH didn't have any major objections.

 

[Disney Doll]

Not only would I, but I DID!!! I am very against Christianity, not people who believe in Christ or follow his teachings, but Christianity as an excuse/religion. My in-laws are very, very strict Catholic. When my DD was two I made the decision to have her baptised at a family reunion, during a church service. This was totally for my in-laws. I don't believe something bad will happen to my DD because she was baptised Catholic and they very strongly believe that it's necessary. I did have to get special permission from the family priest, he was very kind and listened to my reasoning and signed all the papers. I made it very clear that I would not be converting or taking any kind of classes - this was only for my in-laws. I don't believe my DD will go to hell because she was baptised and my in-laws firmly believe that she would go to hell if she wasn't. In other words, it doesn't hurt my DD or me, it only makes them feel better? They are wonderful people, they truly walk the walk, why not give them that gift?

Edited to add: Re: the baptism ceremony. It was the first time I ever saw a Catholic baptism. It was like something straight out of "Rosemary's Baby". Still gives me the creeps. It took every effort for me not to chase the priest down and take my baby back when he was walking up and down the aisles with her raised above his head. Freakish! I don't know if every baptism is like that but HOLY COW!! Sorry to all you Catholics, but it was very foreign to me and I was raised Lutheran!

You are a really nice DIL. Your ILs are fortunate to have you.

As far as the Baptism ceremony...the one you saw is not how all Baptisms are. The ceremony itself actually varies from diocese to diocese and sometimes from church to church. I live in the northeast about an hour north of NYC. We do a pretty low key Baptism...a Baptismal font, the parents and godparents stand around it, the mother holds the child over the font and the priest pours a little bit of the Baptismal water over the child's forehead while Baptising "in the name of the father, Son and Holy Spirit". My church is pretty middle of the road....not too traditional, not too progressive.

My nephew got Baptized in St.Louis MO and it was very different. They had a small Baptismal pool, they immersed him totally, held him up (sort of like Simba in The Lion King if you KWIM) to display to the congregation, carried him around the church and so forth. There were balloons, clapping, lots of carrying on that I found to be annoying. I like our more low-key ceremony that we do here.

 

[SplshMtn99]

DH is American Baptist. As in First Baptist Church of xxxxx (town name). Not like Southern Baptist at all.

They have a Christening for the baby. God will look over the baby if anything happens to the baby. BUT, you only get baptized when you are an adult...after YOU have decided what religion you want to be. Not what your parents wanted you to be. I like that. So, as an adult, he was baptized American Baptist....after having been baptized by Catholic parents when he was little.

Maybe something like that would make everyone happy.

The ADULT baptism is performed in a river or pond. DH's church has a "little pool or tub" underneath the floor on the alter. Being raised Catholic (also no longer practicing Catholic), I thought it was funny first time I saw it. They wear bathing suits & robes, & enter the pool (tub) by steps one by one to be baptized.

 

[cinmell]

the baptism ceremony. It was the first time I ever saw a Catholic baptism. It was like something straight out of "Rosemary's Baby". Still gives me the creeps. It took every effort for me not to chase the priest down and take my baby back when he was walking up and down the aisles with her raised above his head. Freakish! I don't know if every baptism is like that but HOLY COW!! Sorry to all you Catholics, but it was very foreign to me and I was raised Lutheran!

I've never heard of or seen priests walk around the church aisles with the babies and I'm Catholic! I guess differents priests/churches/parishes do baptisms a little differently?

 

[Anewman]

If you read my post above you'll see that priests can and do make exceptions to the rules. We had no intention of raising our DD in the church and there was NO way I was going to take classes. They will in fact do the baptism just for the benefit of the grandparents.

Without going too far off topic, did your ceremony include the typical vows(as seen in the GODFATHER movie)?

You know the ones where you have to answer with an affirmative renouncing the devil and raising the child in a certain manor? I understand in your dealings with the priest you made your issues clear, but I am wondering if the ceremony edited these parts out.

 

[MushyMushy]

I did, and I wish I hadn't.

At the time, I was agnostic and searching for some kind of faith. So, basically I had both kids baptized to please the grandparents mostly because I just wasn't sure. Now that I'm older and more sure of myself and my lack of faith (I'm an atheist), I really wish I could take it back because it was such a lie.

 

[mickeyfan2]

When you do the Baptism of a child you are welcoming them into the Catholic faith and showing your intent to raise them in the Catholic faith. Since you have no intentions of raising her Catholic you should not Baptize her.

 

[RadioNate]

I didn't. My mom is still upset about it. DS is 5. She says it is 'family tradition' and blames my DH, who isn't Catholic. It was 100% MY choice not to baptize. DS was born during the height of the Catholic Church Boston scandle and the priest at our local church wouldn't talk to us w/out 6 months of "acceptable" envelopes and a $100 'class fee.' At that time we could hardly afford diapers I wasn't going to pay my way into a baptism. That priest was arrested for position of child pornography shortly after.

So no I didn't, and we have no plans too.

 

[BuckNaked]

I'm sure I'm opening a big can of worms by even asking this, but would you baptize your child to make the grandparents happy? My dad just asked me if we're going to baptize DD (who is a toddler). I was caught a little off guard, and I told him that I hadn't thought about it. Honestly, it's not something that ever crossed my mind. We're completely non-religious, although I woudn't say that I'm an athiest (DH is another story on that I think).

We were both raised Catholic and we both stopped practicing as soon as we went to college. I think it would please my dad to see my DD baptized Catholic. Part of me thinks "what's the harm?," but another part of me thinks that I'd be a total hypocrite if I baptized her knowing full well that #1) this isn't something we even believe in and #2) that we have no intention of raising her in a religion.

My parents are loving grandparents, and they are very good to my DD. I personally don't see the harm in baptizing her if it makes my dad feel better. My DH could care less either way, so if I want to do this I doubt he'd even say anything about it. The things that worry me are the hypocrite factor and also the inevitable "are you going to enroll DD in CCD and have her make the sacriments" question in the future (from my dad). I guess I would cross that bridge when I came to it, though. OK, enough rambling. I should throw in a on my own thread I'm sure

You should do what you think is right - your child, your decision.

Having said that, if it were me, and if I didn't personally find baptism/religion to be offensive, I would probably do it. I would see it as a) no physical/emotional harm to the child b) makes the grandparents feel better and c) what could possibly be bad about having a holy man say words over a baby?

Good luck in whatever you decide.

 

[janette]

Not only would I, but I DID!!! I am very against Christianity, not people who believe in Christ or follow his teachings, but Christianity as an excuse/religion. My in-laws are very, very strict Catholic. When my DD was two I made the decision to have her baptised at a family reunion, during a church service. This was totally for my in-laws. I don't believe something bad will happen to my DD because she was baptised Catholic and they very strongly believe that it's necessary. I did have to get special permission from the family priest, he was very kind and listened to my reasoning and signed all the papers. I made it very clear that I would not be converting or taking any kind of classes - this was only for my in-laws. I don't believe my DD will go to hell because she was baptised and my in-laws firmly believe that she would go to hell if she wasn't. In other words, it doesn't hurt my DD or me, it only makes them feel better? They are wonderful people, they truly walk the walk, why not give them that gift?

I did also, and you said why better than I could.

I did attend the class with my MIL; my DH didn't go. I had no problem with the ceremony because there wasn't a vow to raise my child Catholic. Not sure if that is the same everywhere but I wouldn't have been comfortable with that. I can't remember the exact wording but it was either Church or Christian and I believe we've done that. I won't do the catechism etc but if my girls asked to I'd have no problem with it. I think that should be their decision.

 

[mickeyfan2]

Edited to add: Re: the baptism ceremony. It was the first time I ever saw a Catholic baptism. It was like something straight out of "Rosemary's Baby". Still gives me the creeps. It took every effort for me not to chase the priest down and take my baby back when he was walking up and down the aisles with her raised above his head. Freakish! I don't know if every baptism is like that but HOLY COW!! Sorry to all you Catholics, but it was very foreign to me and I was raised Lutheran!

I have never ever seen this done. The Priest never even holds the baby, the Mother or Godmother does.

 

[Cindyluwho]

Without going too far off topic, did your ceremony include the typical vows(as seen in the GODFATHER movie)?

You know the ones where you have to answer with an affirmative renouncing the devil and raising the child in a certain manor? I understand in your dealings with the priest you made your issues clear, but I am wondering if the ceremony edited these parts out.

To be completely honest I have no idea what the priest said. As soon as he took her from me I started freaking! Then when he started parading her around, I was just losing it!