Would appreciate your opinions

[mick67]

DS6 has been wrestling since December. It was his choice to do it, and he's been progressing very well, but he didn't want to go to today's meet. He cried and refused to participate. He told me he that he was tired of being pinned.

This is his first year and he's been doing very well. He even won a match! He tries hard and I always tell him I am proud of him for trying hard, and I really am. He's only 50 lbs. (among the smallest) and although they try to set even matches, lots of times he gets matched against heavier kids.

Obviously, his coaches and I couldn't care less whether he wins or loses, but apparently it is affecting him. I didn't force him to participate today..but I did make him talk to his coach about it. Hopefully he will want to go to practice on Tuesday, but I'm curious what you folks might think about it. I don't want to force him to go, but I'm worried about how "quitting" might affect him, especially since it's a physical sport.

I think the wrestling thing is a positive influence on him, and he really is doing very well at it, so that's the reason I want him to continue.

Thanks for your thoughts.

 

[lindalinda]

Wrestling at SIX???? did i read that right. my son wrestled, its a tough tough sport. they get hurt. my son dislocated his shoulder 3 times! I cant even imagine how my son would have handled it at 6. (he started in 6th grade at 11.) My son wrestled 96 lbs in 6th grade. that was actually big so he was wrestling kids much older and more experienced. he got pinned all the time. i dont think you should force the issue. hes got plenty of time.

 

[DisneyMomOK]

Could it partly be the emotional and physical sensation of being pinned that is upsetting him, as opposed to losing? I think your "space" is an issue that differs from person to person (including little people). Perhaps the pinning, no matter how mild it might be considering their ages, and the fact he has no control over himself when that occurs, is disconcerting for him? Unlike a loss with a team sport, this is a domination of one on one.

Good luck. It is so difficult to know what is right with kids and sports.

Sharon

 

[N.Bailey]

My son tried wrestling when he was younger too. I'm not sure that he was 6, but it was in about 1st or 2nd grade. For us, meets were optional at that age. If you wanted to go, you went, if you didn't want to, you didn't have to. My son took a medal at 1 meet and a 2 trophy's at 2 other separate meets. He too was TINY (2 percentile range at that age - heck, he's still tiny). The fact that he was so small he'd only have to really win one match to be guaranteed a medal or trophy. That year there were quite a few meets that we didn't go to though.

I just really HATED the sport. He stayed in it that one year and I was SOOOOO thankful that he didn't want to continue with it. I just think it's a downright brutal sport and it's harder on the moms I think than the kids. LOL Well, I dunno about that. I do recall kids crying everywhere when they lost. It just broke my heart to watch it all.

IMO, all you can do is encourage him, but if I were you, I'd let him make the ultimate choice. Maybe you could suggest that he signed up for it and needs to complete this season, but if he decides he doesn't want to wrestle next year, it will be his choice.

 

[powellrj]

I think I understand what is happening here because we faced the same thing with my DS. My DB wrestled in HS. He was the state champion for 3 years in the 177 weight class many years ago. You only wrestled kids in your weight class and if you won, you won.

Fast forward 30 years and my DS was wrestling in a PAL club league. I am not sure how it worked but you wrestled in your weight class and if you won you moved on and wrestled other kids in other weight classes until you got down to just a couple of really really big kids who always won. My father was LIVID to say the least. We spend many, many years at wrestling meets and thought when he won, he won, but thats not how it worked. DS was and still is a little guy (he is in high school and is 5ft 7 but only weights about 115), so you get a couple of really big guys and they only have to sit on him and he's down.

He wrestled for the Pal club a couple of years and then gave it up because he got so tried of winning the weight classes, but never winning the meets. I would say at his age, let him wrestle in class, but don't make him compete in the meets. When he is older, he will be prepared for middle school team and then he should be ready to compete too.

If he is still doesn't want to do it, at 6 I would let him quit and maybe try it again when he is older.

 

[mom2boys]

I feel your pain. My DS is 10 & just sarted wrestling this year. In my son's league theyattempt to set the matches by weight, age & experience - usually they manage 2 out of the 3. Yesterday's meet included a PAL team-so Powellrj's league was run differently. Definitely would not like that set up.
My 10 yr old gets pinned in just about every match. Rarely makes it past the first round because most of the boys in his age & weight class have been wrestling since they were 5 years old. Some meets the match-ups are better than others. He's only won one match - at a novice tournament.


One thing I learned from helping at the scoring table once - please let the coaches know well in advance (days) if your son isn't going to participate in a meet. When a kid doesn't show, the coaches have to rework the matches for the entire meet. Due to some no-shows & one injury that day we had a boy who had come from an hour a way and spent 5 hours at the gym who ended up with no opponents. Of course, when his coach brought this to our attention, we put him with the first kid with a similar weight. Unfortunately the boy with no matches was a first year wrestler & the boy we found for him had been wrestling for 5 years.

Wrestling is a brutal sport for parents. I usually get DS to the meets & DH shows up later. Yesterday DH took him - he couldn't believe the lag time between check-in & the actual start of the meet.

 

[mick67]

They also set up the matches here by ranking the wrestlers...weight, age, and skill (as determined by the coaches). It seems to work well. DW hasn't been to a meet yet...she didn't want him to wrestle, but he wanted to do it and I thought it would be good thing for him. I still think that, but I don't want to force him to do something that he doesn't want to do. That being said I probably will make him go to practice on Tuesday and talk some more with the coaches to see what we can do to keep DS encouraged. I hate to see him give up on something when he's applying himself and getting better at it.

 

[corie161]

I'm in the same boat, my DS5 just started this year. Our individual meets are set up a little differently it sounds like. The group the kids first by age (grade) then by weight. They group them in brackets of 4,sometimes there will be less, depending on the size and number of kids. Every kid gets an award(trophyor a medal).

My DS5 LOVES practice, but isn't too keen on the meets. He participated in 4 of them and ended up quitting on 3 of them..on the other 1 the other kid quit. His problem is that he's quite shy and quiet, so although he wrestles well against his friends he gets anxiety against other kids he doesn't know. We are done with the meets we planned on participating in now and he just has practicing left and he will continue to go to that...then next year he can decide again if he wants to participate.

Although the meets are optional, I will encourage him to participate in at least one.

 

[dmslush]

As parents, we have to realize that it is okay for our kids to try things, not like them, and quit. I don't think any child should be pressured into staying with anything (extra curricular) that they simply don't like, especially something that may becausing them physical and mental distress. Everything looks cool from the outside, wrestling, football, band, etc.. but that is because the child hasn't tried it at this point, they have to try it to see if they like it. And if they like it, GREAT.. if not, let them move on to something else.

 

[mick67]

As parents, we have to realize that it is okay for our kids to try things, not like them, and quit.

That's the thing...he does like it. All of a sudden though, he feels bad about getting pinned. There was no indication that it bothered him until we were getting ready for yesterday's meet. I like the idea of him continuing to practice, but maybe not attending the meets until he feels ready again.

 

[YourMajesty]

They start everything so young now and half the time the kids and parents end up getting frustrated. My DS will be six next week and is trying basketball. He's just not getting it and will get frustrated. He hasn't ask to quit but sometimes it's just hard to process everything and he ends up frustrated(it's painful at times for me to watch...like I can't understand what's so hard about knowing what end your team is shooting at). My older DS was in karate (around 6) and cried for a month straight before I finally let him quit. I just think maturity is really an issue at the younger ages. Plus, we are paying for all the turmoil! There are some little kids that do great but many are just trying not to run the worng way.

 

[mick67]

They start everything so young now and half the time the kids and parents end up getting frustrated. My DS will be six next week and is trying basketball. He's just not getting it and will get frustrated. He hasn't ask to quit but sometimes it's just hard to process everything and he ends up frustrated(it's painful at times for me to watch...like I can't understand what's so hard about knowing what end your team is shooting at). My older DS was in karate (around 6) and cried for a month straight before I finally let him quit. I just think maturity is really an issue at the younger ages. Plus, we are paying for all the turmoil! There are some little kids that do great but many are just trying not to run the worng way.

That reminds me of something funny. I coach DS's and DD's soccer teams. The first game of the season, DD's team had a girl who shot at her own goal and scored against us. On the way back to the tip-off I told her she was supposed to shoot at the other net, not ours. She took the tip-off, dribbled through the other team right down to the goal mouth and scored! It was the funniest thing!

 

[ktpool]

My ds6 just started wrestling last week. Obviously, no meets yet, but they are coming up soon. He is in TaeKwonDo and has done pretty well, loves his 'mini-camp' sports he has tried.
This is great information for me to keep in mind the next few weeks.

I do have one kind of delicate question...do you have your ds that are young (like mine) wear a cup? He doesn't seem thrilled with the idea.

Just curious

 

[mick67]

No cup required for wrestling. The kids don't wear cups for soccer either. I'll find out about football this autumn!

 

[corie161]

As parents, we have to realize that it is okay for our kids to try things, not like them, and quit. I don't think any child should be pressured into staying with anything (extra curricular) that they simply don't like, especially something that may becausing them physical and mental distress. Everything looks cool from the outside, wrestling, football, band, etc.. but that is because the child hasn't tried it at this point, they have to try it to see if they like it. And if they like it, GREAT.. if not, let them move on to something else.

While I agree with you about not pressuring them to do the things they simply don't like, I also think that they need to learn to follow through with their commitments. If they committed to the sport that season, they should follow through with that commitment and make the decision the following year whether they want to continue it or not. I can see a lot of kids making a rash decision about quitting because they aren't good enough, without realizing their full potential in a sport.