Worst Wedding

[buzzlady]

I just returned from my cousins wedding. It was held in a church hall and was catered. The couple(with help from his mother) did most of the planning. I can't believe that the couple didn't even come to a single table to at least say hello and talk for a minute. They actually had a box set up for you to put your envelope in. I think that's tacky. They ran out of soda, water and liquor(poor planning on their part). The family owns a store and was able to get more supplies. The way that they served the food was that one person went around to the tables with the meat and another with potatoes and veggies. We were the last table served. One person at our table got a slice of prime rib when one of the tables next to us was served but got nothing else - so he ate it before it got cold. Fourty five minutes later they came with 2 pieces of chicken left on the tray. Myself and another person got them. I ate mine before it got cold. When they finally came back around it was another 10 mins. later and they brought the rest of the table their meat and the potatoes and veggies.

On our way out we did see the groom - he was soooo plastered. We never did see the bride and heard from my mother that she wasn't any better. I think that is such a shame.

 

[stinkerbelle]

well - the only thing I think they did RIGHT from what you said was the box for the envelopes. That's QUITE common.

Plus - most people use a box or birdcage instead of a basket to deter from 'sticky fingers' on behalf of the waitstaff (or even crazy people in the family)

sorry you didn't have a good time

My brother, DH and I have a new rule...we ALWAYS eat SOMETHING before a wedding...just in case. Yes, we still eat meals put in front of us...but we went to 2 weddings last year where there was no food...and ended up at McDonald's afterwards.

 

[Aurora63]

Too bad about the poor planning, but if it was catered, it sounds like it was the caterer's fault (at least about the food). Don't most caterer's provide the beverages?

Personally, though, I think it is a shame how much emphasis is put on the food and drink and all those superficial aspects of the wedding, as though the marriage of the two people is merely an afterthought. It should be about family and friends coming together to witness the marriage of two people, and that alone should be enough!

I am not flaming you though, Buzzlady...if I were invited to a wedding where dinner was going to be served, and then got the service you got, I'd likely be a bit disappointed.

As far as them getting plastered and not visiting tables...I guess they just don't have very good manners! What more can we say?

 

[Briar Rose 7457]

maybe I'm old fashioned, but at my wedding I carried a small draw-string bag for the envelopes. I wanted to properly thank my guests when they gave the envelopes to me.

at my daughter's bat mitzvah, I put my cousin in charge of the envelopes, because the party was at a synagogue and we used the bride's dressing room to store our personal things and he had the key.

 

[Laura]

We had a box for envelopes, but I think it looked too much like a present and so everyone gave the envelopes to DH. It was empty when we opened it the next day. Nobody could have gotten anything out unless they had tiny hands.

Sorry the wedding sucked. We did a buffet so everyone ate as much as they wanted; the food was mostly gone after the guests went for seconds and there was little left, so we had the right amount. I was glad about that; I hate waste. Sounds like the caterers this couple had were .

But the B&G definitely should have visited all of the tables. We did that instead of a receiving line, since we had such a small wedding (74 guests, including wedding party). It was fun talking to everyone and getting tips on the honeymoon from people who'd been to Hawaii.

 

[dzneelvr]

Regardless of the possible catering snafu's regarding service and food, what struck me from your description was the Bride and Groom's behavior. That was totally unacceptable and well in their control. They sound very immature to me.
I wish them luck in their marriage, sounds like they may need it.

 

[kilee]

Look at it this way gives you something to chuckle about down the road. Sounds like there had to be some humor in it. As for the box-- thats common now-a-days. I mean I've been to some very formal weddings. Where etiquette was followed to a "T" and they all had places to place your cards.

 

[tigercat]

We went to a wedding once and it was a buffet. We were the last table to get to it and by the time we got there, there was almost nothing left. I got a steak (sounds great eh?) some cold baked potato and a little tiny bit of veggies. The buns were all gone, the baked potato (or the 1/2 that was left) was cold and the steak was uneatable. I was starving. What was really funny was that this was a wedding for my best friends dd and she told me afterwards how everyone told her how wonderful the food was. I didn't have the heart to tell her my tables opinion.
tigercat

 

[Disney Doll]

It always amazes em when I go to a wedding and the bride and groom get plastered. I mean, have you not planned for this day formonths? Why would youget drunk, so you don't remember a thing, make an *** out of yourself, and feel lousy the next day? Never seemed to make sense to me, but I was older(29 3/4!!!)when I got married, so maybe it's something that's done with the "younger" (under 25) set!

As far as the box for envelopes...I don't really have a problem with that. Realiztically, you know people may bring an envelope, and it's nice to have a place to put it. One wedding I was at used a hand-painted mailbox which the bride and groom later used on their house. I thought that was a very cute idea.

Based on the behavior of your bride and groom at the wedding, it comes as no surprise that the planning was poor. They don't sound like they have much on the ball.

 

[Chattyaholic]

When our DD got married 4 years ago, they used a wooden wishing well for people to put their cards in. It was painted white with lace trim, lots of ivy, etc. and a slit cut in the round piece of wood on top of the round part. It was really cute, and was rented from the woman who baked/decorated the cake. It's very common to have something for people to put cards in, rather than just a basket where anyone could take some out (waitstaff at the reception hall, or even friends/relatives at the wedding).

As for the bride and groom not going around to the tables to talk to everyone, that is just plain rude. Our DD and her new DH didn't want a "receiving line" after the wedding so they opted to release the rows themselves, rather than having the ushers do it. That way they hugged and talked to each individual before they ever left the church. Plus, at the reception, they still went around to the tables to again thank people for coming. And we, as parents of the bride, also went to each table to talk to people and thank them for coming.

The only thing I didn't like at DD's reception was the DJ introduced the bride and groom and wedding party, and they of course went to the food line first, then it was supposed to be the tables holding the immediate families, THEN the rest of the people. But the DJ released EVERYONE right after the wedding party went through. I'm sorry, but the parents/grandparents and siblings/spouses/children of the bride and groom should have been released to the food line before the rest IMO. But everything else went very smoothly.

 

[buzzlady]

Originally posted by Disney Doll
It always amazes em when I go to a wedding and the bride and groom get plastered. I mean, have you not planned for this day formonths? Why would youget drunk, so you don't remember a thing, make an *** out of yourself, and feel lousy the next day? Never seemed to make sense to me, but I was older(29 3/4!!!)when I got married, so maybe it's something that's done with the "younger" (under 25) set!

Sad part is, is that they are both in their 30's (33 or 34).

 

[Blondie]

The last 3 or 4 weddings I've been in or to, the all had a very pretty white locked "birdcage" for evelopes that was placed on the same table for wrapped gifts. I think that's the norm now, although way back when I got married, I carried a white satin draw string purse that was specifically for cards given by our guests. Even though there are birdcages, the couple still came around to each and every table to thank people for coming and to ask if everyone was having a good time.

The last wedding we attened 2 years ago they had cheese & crackers, crudites and shrimp coctail. I asked my DH if he wanted to escort me to the appetizer table and he said he'd rather wait for the main course. There was no main course! So he ended up being rather hungry by the time it was over and we stopped at a Burger King on the way home! The only beverages served were iced tea, coffee, ice water and coke. It appeared to be a very elegant wedding at a very nice country club but looked like they spent all their money on the wedding dress and the facility!

 

[StaceyA]

Originally posted by dzneelvr
Regardless of the possible catering snafu's regarding service and food, what struck me from your description was the Bride and Groom's behavior. That was totally unacceptable and well in their control. They sound very immature to me.
I wish them luck in their marriage, sounds like they may need it.

Ditto!
They should have come around and thank each one of you!

At my wedding, we did a receiving line where everyone comes through and you thank them for coming, but we also went to each table together and personally thanked everyone....we also had a "box" for the envelopes, it was provided by the location, it was a white mailbox that was locked and I had the key. But most people handed us the envelopes when we came around and we put them into the mailbox for safe keeping until it was time to leave.

I really think they should have come around at least once, we did it when dinner was being served since we knew we would get everyone at that point, so we wouldn't bother anyone when it was time to dance!!

 

[StaceyA]

Hit submit twice, why can't we delete our own posts anymore?? LOL

 

[phillybeth]

One of my distant cousins had the 'box' stolen right off the gift table at her wedding! It was one of the servers or kitchen staff, but by the time they discovered the theft and who did it, all the money and checks were gone. No one in my family does the box-mailbox-birdcage thing anymore after that.

 

[Regina]

We were just talking about a wedding that we went to years ago.

The reception was in the back of a bar. They called the tables to the buffet. Since we were the last ones, the only thing that they had left were some salads and bologna, and you could see them slicing it in the back. I never saw a more miserable mother of the groom. This poor lady did not want her son married to this bride. Trust me, you'll be laughing about this down the road.

I'm not a big fan of the silk bag, box, etc. We went to each table, thanked our guests and they'd give us their gift. I gave everything to my Mom to hold until we got back from our honeymoon.

 

[phillybeth]

The silk bag is a tradition in my family, my grandmother made one for each grandaughter (and grandson's fiancee). The difference is, is that it was attached to ME as DH and I went around to each table and greeted each guest individually. It does make carrying all those cards a lot easier.

 

[catheren]

At our wedding, we had a basket with flowers and ivy on it. As family and friends entered into the reception, the flow of traffic went past the table w. the basket, seating cards and a guest book for the attendee's to sign and write their "best wishes". I had a close friend "man" the table until guests were finished arriving. Then she packed up the envelopes, presents and guest book and locked them in the bridal salon and she had the only key. She did all of this during the cocktail hours and it worked out, fantastic!

As far as a receiving line; we did it as guests left our church. It was a beautiful fall day and we had it outside!

We did another non-traditional wedding theme; no head table. We had our wedding party at 3 regular round tables w/ their guest -- worked out great! Especially since the wedding party didn't all know eachother -- at least the got to sit w. their date.

 

[mum4jenn]

Down here we don't do the boxes and most people do not do meals at weddings. Most have a table set up for gifts(which they may or may not open there at the reception) and the food consists of snacks like nuts,mints,cheese and crackers,etc. Sometimes there will be small sandwiches. Punch is normally served. Most receptions are held at the church and the only ones held away from the church are the ones for the rich people and then they serve alchohol at those.

 

[Davids-Coco]

A lot of people really don't care anymore... Manners aren't important and that is sad. I am in that age group, but have been brought up to have impeccable manners - especially in social situations. But I am definately not the norm!

I have to admit, it could be worse... I actually recieved an invitation to a wedding where they were charging admission. It was like $30 to do THEM the honor of being at their wedding. We didn't go, but later found out that it was a no-host bar where you have to pay for your drinks. People were pissed and I think rightfully so.