Worried About Parents Retirement

[Tink888]

First off, I am a habitual worrier who tends to look at the glass half-empty. But that is my top resolution for the new year to work on that.

Anyhow, I am 29 and live approx 45-min to an hour from my parents. They are in their late 50's-early 60's and quickly approaching "The Golden Years". I watch a lot of Suze Orman and other financial planning shows on TV, and from what I'm hearing, it seems to me that my parents may be on the naive side when it comes to retirement planning. I have brought this subject up to them before. They always tell me that they are fine, and to not worry about them, etc etc. But certain comments I have heard them say in the past lead me to believe they might be in for a shock when it comes time to retire. My father gets pensions from his job, my mother has always been a stay at home mom. They both think people such as Suze Orman and others are "full of it" on the subject of retirement.

They believe social security will be the safety net + my dads pension when that time comes. My mother assures me that if worse comes to worse, they can always sell the house in the event of an emergency. They tell me not to worry about them and they will be fine...but I still cannot help that gut feeling considering the ridiculous amounts of $$$$ people are told to have saved by the time they reach retirement age, which my parents do not have.

Should I listen to them and leave the issue alone? Thanks for any tidbits. Having a nervous day this afternoon... (probably due to watching too much Money-Talk news).

OP, I would not worry about it and leave the matter alone. I mean this in the nicest way but your parent's finances are none of your business.

The day they start asking you for money is the day it becomes your business. If they have managed this long without you or Suzi Orman's input then they probably have some clue as to what they are doing. I know your concerns come out of love for your parents but unless your parents are incompetent or incapacitated, it really is not your business.

When your parents tell you not to worry about them, respect their wishes. The best way for you to help them is to concentrate on your own financial security and well being and let them handle theirs.

 

[wdwfan16]

First off, I am a habitual worrier who tends to look at the glass half-empty. But that is my top resolution for the new year to work on that.

Anyhow, I am 29 and live approx 45-min to an hour from my parents. They are in their late 50's-early 60's and quickly approaching "The Golden Years". I watch a lot of Suze Orman and other financial planning shows on TV, and from what I'm hearing, it seems to me that my parents may be on the naive side when it comes to retirement planning. I have brought this subject up to them before. They always tell me that they are fine, and to not worry about them, etc etc. But certain comments I have heard them say in the past lead me to believe they might be in for a shock when it comes time to retire. My father gets pensions from his job, my mother has always been a stay at home mom. They both think people such as Suze Orman and others are "full of it" on the subject of retirement.

They believe social security will be the safety net + my dads pension when that time comes. My mother assures me that if worse comes to worse, they can always sell the house in the event of an emergency. They tell me not to worry about them and they will be fine...but I still cannot help that gut feeling considering the ridiculous amounts of $$$$ people are told to have saved by the time they reach retirement age, which my parents do not have.

Should I listen to them and leave the issue alone? Thanks for any tidbits. Having a nervous day this afternoon... (probably due to watching too much Money-Talk news).

My parent’s assets are none of my business. My assets are none of my parent’s or my kid’s, when they are older, business. Butt out.

I can understand your concern, but try not to worry about it. If they aren't worried about it, they're probably not going to change.

Pensions can be cancelled, your Dad shouldn't be completely relying on having one. And social security probably wouldn't be enough to live on either. They should be putting money away, but you can't force them to do that, or to be more concerned about their retirement.

My Dad died 2 years ago, and Mom gets about 2/3 of what his pension from GM was, plus social security. It's enough for her to live on, but she doesn't have a whole lot left at the end of the month. Dad left her a nice life insurance amount, which we put into a separate savings account in my name only. She keeps wanting to travel, and "spend her money." I keep telling her she should leave it in the bank, because GM has already changed her health insurance so now she has to pay a portion (health, dental, vision) of it each month, and she has higher co-pays, and has to pay part of some of her medical bills where she never had to before. I keep telling her what if GM cancels pensions, she would need that money that's in the bank just to live. I hate to see her squander it away on traveling. Or if they do away with the retiree/spouse health insurance, if she fell and broke a hip she would have to pay her own hospital bill and that money in the bank would be gone in a snap. She just doesn't seem to "get it" though.

So I do understand how you're feeling, it's hard I know.

You took your mother’s money and put it in your own name!!!! You are also keeping it from her. It is her money and is not now or ever was your money. If she wants to travel, then she can because it is her money.

If you have any siblings you can also cheat them out of their inheritance by doing what you did.

there is a government program that insures pensions the same as the FDIC insures bank deposits. I can't think of the name of it right now or the details, but I think it may just cover pensions that are already being paid out.

I am newly retired & I found that the amt I receive from Soc Sec is not too far off from what I have been living on for the last few years. I hadn't had a raise in 3 years anyway. I live quite frugally, and don't have any major plans for retirement that will cost a lot. I bought a Medigap policy that will cover expenses that Medicare doesn't. That policy is only costing me $20 a month more than I had been paying through my employer's group insurance.

I also don't think you should worry about your parents yet. At some time in the future it may be wise to sit down with them and see what their plans are.

There is a fund but it is very underfunded. Most who get the money form that fund get a small % of what they were getting before.

 

[disney1990]

To the poster that put the money into an account with only your name on it, you need to put your Mom's money back into an account in HER name.

 

[tasha99]

If you have any siblings you can also cheat them out of their inheritance by doing what you did.

When I was a legal assistant, I saw cases where this happened. Well what happened was the siblings fought back and much of the estate was squandered in legal fees.

 

[golfgal]

First of all, for your own financial health, stop listening to Suze Orman. She gives our some of the worst advice EVER.

Second, pensions and social security can often add up to MORE than they are making now. They probably also have some other accounts tucked away that you don't know about.

Keep in mind people of that generation tend to "think' they have nothing because what ever they have is never enough. My aunt starts to panic if she doesn't have $25,000 in her CHECKING account, I know, she won't listen to us and put it somewhere to earn some interest but it is HER money. She has plenty of money elsewhere to get her to a ripe old age and beyond but if that checking account balance goes below $25K you would think she was flat broke.

 

[Lucky4me]

I understand worrying about your parents, but unless they are telling you they're having financial problems, you need to step back and let them live their lives.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

First off, I am a habitual worrier who tends to look at the glass half-empty. But that is my top resolution for the new year to work on that.

Anyhow, I am 29 and live approx 45-min to an hour from my parents. They are in their late 50's-early 60's and quickly approaching "The Golden Years". I watch a lot of Suze Orman and other financial planning shows on TV, and from what I'm hearing, it seems to me that my parents may be on the naive side when it comes to retirement planning. I have brought this subject up to them before. They always tell me that they are fine, and to not worry about them, etc etc. But certain comments I have heard them say in the past lead me to believe they might be in for a shock when it comes time to retire. My father gets pensions from his job, my mother has always been a stay at home mom. They both think people such as Suze Orman and others are "full of it" on the subject of retirement.

They believe social security will be the safety net + my dads pension when that time comes. My mother assures me that if worse comes to worse, they can always sell the house in the event of an emergency. They tell me not to worry about them and they will be fine...but I still cannot help that gut feeling considering the ridiculous amounts of $$$$ people are told to have saved by the time they reach retirement age, which my parents do not have.

Should I listen to them and leave the issue alone? Thanks for any tidbits. Having a nervous day this afternoon... (probably due to watching too much Money-Talk news).

My parents are in their 70's, they have always been horrible with money. They live in an apartment which is fine because no way could they care for a house. My mom had to work as a nurse until the age of 69. My dad is still "working".
Both of them took SS early.

Stop worrying about them. The best thing you can do is to focus on yourself. If you are OK, they are going to be OK.

 

[antmaril]

there is a government program that insures pensions the same as the FDIC insures bank deposits. I can't think of the name of it right now or the details, but I think it may just cover pensions that are already being paid out.

I am newly retired & I found that the amt I receive from Soc Sec is not too far off from what I have been living on for the last few years. I hadn't had a raise in 3 years anyway. I live quite frugally, and don't have any major plans for retirement that will cost a lot. I bought a Medigap policy that will cover expenses that Medicare doesn't. That policy is only costing me $20 a month more than I had been paying through my employer's group insurance.

I also don't think you should worry about your parents yet. At some time in the future it may be wise to sit down with them and see what their plans are.

You are referring to the Pension Benefit Guaranty Corporation ("PBGC"). The pension would be reduced for sure, but it would not be lost if GM went under.

 

[minniecarousel]

Erik, you need to stop obsessing about their finances. My kids are your age, and I can tell you, I'd tell them the same thing if they ever brought it up. I've never listened to Suze Orman. I turn the channel if she's on.

 

[Erik_in_TN]

Thanks everyone. I really do need to stick with my new year's resolution of quit being a worrier. Especially over things I have little or no control over...it does more damage than good. But thanks for the advice, I do feel better, and will keep my nose out of things it doesn't belong in.

 

[agnes!]

...But she pays whatever portion of medicare and prescription drug insurance she has to pay from her pension/SS, it's not provided for her by the pension.

Can a company cancel a pension that's already being drawn from????

Yes.

agnes!

 

[aprilgail2]

My Dad died 2 years ago, and Mom gets about 2/3 of what his pension from GM was, plus social security. It's enough for her to live on, but she doesn't have a whole lot left at the end of the month. Dad left her a nice life insurance amount, which we put into a separate savings account in my name only. :

Wow- what in the world was she thinking of letting you put her money in YOUR name...I hope she contacted a lawyer prior to doing that! And what right do you have preventing her from traveling?? I worked hard my whole life and I will be damned if when I retire my KID will be dictating where I can and can not go with my own money!!

Somebody's not getting it, all right, but that somebody is YOU!

How dare you keep your mother's money from her and not allow her to spend it! It is HER money, not yours.

.

Second, pensions and social security can often add up to MORE than they are making now. They probably also have some other accounts tucked away that you don't know about.

.

When I retire I will be making considerably more than I am making while working between my Pension, railroad retirement and my 457 and 401K's. Especially taking into consideration I won't be paying any state tax on my pension, won't be paying 100.00 a month union dues, won't be paying 100+ a week into my 457 and 401K, won't be paying into railroad retirement -three tiers. And when I retire it will be none of my kids business how I spend my money. She orginally paniced when I told her I was retiring in 3 years (she is only 10) because she thought we would not have any money- she was amazed to find out that they give you money to stay home LOL.

 

[surfgirl]

hey, guys, before we use MIG'ma as the latest punching bag, let's get more of the story.

How many threads have we seen talking about family members who can't manage their money ?

How many threads about 'do I loan my family member/friend/etc. money?'

Maybe she is just trying to prevent that. Maybe her siblings approve. Maybe she has no siblings.

Maybe, just maybe, her mother doesn't know how to budget and would blow it all in a year and she is looking out for her mother. Do the punches become slightly less vicious ?

Funding for retirement is a fine line between saving it all for later and dying now or saving nothing for later and living to 100+ years old.

 

[tar heel]

OP -- Unless your parents are asking you for money, their finances are absolutely none of your business. I started to write something about my parents' and fil's situations, but deleted it b/c it's nobody's business except theirs.

BTW, my DH and I are in our 50s and we sure as heck are not in our golden years. I can't imagine what we would say if our 25-year-old wanted us to show him our retirement planning.

 

[blissventure]

hey, guys, before we use MIG'ma as the latest punching bag, let's get more of the story.

How many threads have we seen talking about family members who can't manage their money ?

How many threads about 'do I loan my family member/friend/etc. money?'

Maybe she is just trying to prevent that. Maybe her siblings approve. Maybe she has no siblings.

Maybe, just maybe, her mother doesn't know how to budget and would blow it all in a year and she is looking out for her mother. Do the punches become slightly less vicious ?

Funding for retirement is a fine line between saving it all for later and dying now or saving nothing for later and living to 100+ years old.

Maybe. But it would be good to keep in mind that the act of keeping money that belongs to an elder from them is legally considered elder abuse in many states.
Situations that involve guardianships of elders are different, of course.

 

[DisMN]

You are referring to the Pension Benefit Guaranty Corporation ("PBGC"). The pension would be reduced for sure, but it would not be lost if GM went under.

DH is currently waiting to be of age to be able to draw on the PBGC funds from the bankrupt company he worked for. PBGC is hugely underfunded and you get LESS than 1/3 of what you were entitled to under your companies pension. The fact is that the PBGC will run out of money, possibly before most people can even collect on it........yes, I would say pensions can and will be lost.

OP, I wouldn't worry about your parents just yet. I doubt you know their whole financial picture and many parents just aren't wanting to divulge that info to their children.

 

[portocall]

Well, I can understand this... and for my in-laws, it looked like they had done everything right. They told, we didn't ask. But... 9 years later, they are broke. I don't think it will be long before they are living between us and my bil. You aren't going to be able to change anything at this point. But be ready to be supportive. I wish I got along with the in-laws... the idea of them living with me stresses me out to no end, but I will deal with it cause I love my DH.

 

[tasha99]

Maybe. But it would be good to keep in mind that the act of keeping money that belongs to an elder from them is legally considered elder abuse in many states.
Situations that involve guardianships of elders are different, of course.

That would be a conservatorship, but let me tell you--one thing I learned working as a legal asst. for a financial planning/elder law lawyer was: don't take your parents money and don't take their house as a gift without an attorney . Even if you think it's for their benefit. Gawd what a mess that can turn out to be with Medicaid lookbacks etc.

 

[dansamy]

If something were to go wrong, who do you think will be figuring out how to make it work and making up the shortfall?

I love my mother, but there is no way I am footing the financing for her to maintain her accustomed lifestyle into her retirement age. I will help when/where I am able, but I have three children of my own to raise. They are my top financial priority. Not my grown mother's retirement prospects.

 

[dansamy]

My parents are in their 70's, they have always been horrible with money. They live in an apartment which is fine because no way could they care for a house. My mom had to work as a nurse until the age of 69. My dad is still "working".
Both of them took SS early.

Stop worrying about them. The best thing you can do is to focus on yourself. If you are OK, they are going to be OK.

No offense to you, but I think your parents probably are enjoying themselves. I know that I will probably never fully retire. I know one old nurse who retired from bedside nursing only to return to the very same hospital as a part time unit secretary. Many, many people take a part time job in retirement because they want something productive to do. I keep telling my husband that I want to work when we are retirement age. I also want to buy a townhouse or condo because I don't want the maintenance of a house. Or an RV. I'd love one. I have enough gypsy blood in me that traveling around the country is very appealing.