world's worst mother strikes again UPDATED

[Rock'n Robin]

DD had to choose between trying out for volleyball and cheerleading. A couple of weeks ago she was leaning toward cheerleading. She asked my opinion, and based on last year I advised her to tryout for volleyball.Last year she made volleyball and not cheerleading (40 girls tried out for cheerleading).
Well, 30 girls tried out for volleyball. After 3 days of tryouts they called 15 in today, and cut one after a last 2 hour tryout--you guessed it, DD was the one cut. And every girl who tried out for cheerleading made it. So if I hadn't given her "advice', she'd be a cheerleader now.
I suck.
Coincidentally, 2 girls already quit cheerleading because they can't tumble. So I called the cheerleading coach(her EMail is down) and asked if there is any way DD can get a quick tryout next week before school starts. No one at school answers the freakin' phone after 3PM so I left her my cell # to call during school Monday (I have students but they don't). It's a real shot in the dark but what the heck--with 10 years of dance it's not like it will be hard for her.
The coach didn't even give her a real reason, just advised her to do junior olympic over the winter (which we can't afford) and she'd be sure to make the 9th grade team. I can't see spending a thousand bucks to try to ensure a spot on a freshman volleyball team.
As it is, if the cheerleading thing doesn't work out she said she'd be scorekeeper, which to me says "hey, I'm not good enough but I'll be a hanger-on", but obviously her attitude is a lot better than mine.
She has gotten the shaft so often at this school that I feel like putting her in private school.
Robin M.

 

[DVCLiz]

Hugs to you and your daughter, Robin. I'm REALLY upset that they would cut your daughter in that way - maybe with a larger group, but to be singled out at the end, and to be the only one - it makes me want to file abuse charges against them.

I don't know if DD's school has an actual no-cut policy, but she's played volleyball each year of her high school experience. She'll freely admit she's one of the poorest players on the team, but she's worked hard over the last three years. This year there are 14 on the team - last year there were 6. Guess who got to play a lot last year and hasn't touched a ball in game play yet this season? She came home a little teary about it earlier in the week, but today is off to a tournament in another town overnight, so I'm glad she's being a good sport, as it sounds like your daughter is too.

Wish we could make it easier for them, don't you????

 

[Rock'n Robin]

You got it Liz, DD is good about it but I wish I could beat the heck out of that woman. But DD told me she saw one of the girls who quit cheerleading and her mom accost the cheerleading coach in the parking lot and chew her out, and I would never be like that. (that girl was upset because she cheers all year in a competition group yet only made one squad--there is one for basketball and one for football). I just hope she calls me back. I'll understand if it's not fair that DD didn't go to any cheerleading workouts, but it's worth a shot.
Robin M.

 

[DVCLiz]

Oh, I hope she gets the chance. If not, I understand your feelings about the "team manager" kind of position, but I'll tell you that DD's best friend last year just didn't want to play, so she served as scorekeeper or something like that. She got to participate with the group and her frinds, which was what she wanted, and the other girls didn't make any distinction about her - she was their friend and she was a team member, period. So it might work out anyway for your DD.

I hope my DD gets to play a little bit this weekend - she is working really hard. They practice two hours every day except game days, and she is required to run an eight minute mile as part of her conditioning, as well as weight training once a week. Do you know how long it would take me to run a mile? More like eight hours!!!!!

 

[MELSMICE]

If she doesn't get to be on the cheerleading squad could she be participate in practices for volleyball?

My DD's school is huge. For basketball they had 65 girls try out (modified team). 15 kids made the team which is a ton for bball, & there were 2 on the "practice squad". They participated in practices & were allowed to play in scrimmage games.

One of those girls practiced her heart out. I really hope she makes the team this year (of course, that's after my DD hopefully makes the team )

 

[Rock'n Robin]

No, scorekeeper was the only option given. I don't know how she can do it. She says she can, but if it was me, it would be like a knife every time the team was celebrating or out there warming up with the music on, etc., if I was just sitting at the score table. I'd get seriously depressed.
The coach is such a big JO booster! I'd love to do it if I knew DD would get a scholarship and get up to the level of the top players, but that's not how it works. I figure the girls who are better than she is now would stay ahead of the curve, and JO would be like throwing $ away. There are girls in JO who aren't that good either, but they take their $.
Since there is no EMail listing for the cheerleading coach, after I called her I emalied the assistant principal stating DD's case. I explained that she would understand if she couldn't try out for cheerleading, but that with her personality and dance experience she would do a good job, and more importantly I want someone to contact me Monday one way or the other. If they don't I'll have to embarrass myself (and probably DD) at open house by going up to these people and asking in person. I just wish she would have been allowed to try out for both.
Robin M.

 

[Boo'sMom]

Robin~ How old is your daughter?

I am *assuming* high school age. If that is the case, I think it makes more sense for her to approach the coach herself.... just a thought

 

[Rock'n Robin]

She's in 8th grade.
Robin M.

 

[Aneille]

She's in 8th grade.
Robin M.

I hope it works out for your daughter.

 

[Boo'sMom]

I hope it works out for your daughter.

I thought she was older....I'd do the same thing you're doing if it were my 8th grader.

 

[Mimi Q]

I hope it works out for your DD.

 

[disneyxo]

I do hope things work out for your daughter!

 

[Rock'n Robin]

Thanks for your support! Nothing went our way. The volleyball coach responded saying that her skills were not as developed as the girls who made the team. She said CYO is OK to keep playing, but she "really recommends JO"--she says while some are expensive, not all are. I humored her and told her to go ahead and send me some information.
The cheerleading coach sent a very terse EMail saying "Thank you for your interest in the 2005-06 PJHS cheerleading squad. At this time we are not holding any new tryouts for cheerleading". Well, I said I wouldn't mind if she couldn't give it a chance, but I would expect a little more empathy from this woman. I just responded to her thanking her for her answer, and emphasizing how sad it is that these girls have to pick between one tryout and another, and if she does decide to replace the girls who quit to keep Kelly in mind.
So I guess DD isn't doing anything at school this year unless she makes the musical. (she dances 2 1/2 hours a week, but not through school) I am trying to get her to do student council (everyone gets on, no elections) but she thinks that's for "geeks". I wish she understood that things will be easier later on if she's a student leader and not just someone who sits in the audience. She's still waffling about scorekeeping for volleyball--DH says go ahead, I still think it will be too hard to sit there and watch, esp. if the girls chosen over her don't have these "sklls" the coach thinks they do.
Thanks again guys!
Robin M.

 

[Marseeya]

Thanks for your support! Nothing went our way. The volleyball coach responded saying that her skills were not as developed as the girls who made the team. She said CYO is OK to keep playing, but she "really recommends JO"--she says while some are expensive, not all are. I humored her and told her to go ahead and send me some information.
The cheerleading coach sent a very terse EMail saying "Thank you for your interest in the 2005-06 PJHS cheerleading squad. At this time we are not holding any new tryouts for cheerleading". Well, I said I wouldn't mind if she couldn't give it a chance, but I would expect a little more empathy from this woman. I just responded to her thanking her for her answer, and emphasizing how sad it is that these girls have to pick between one tryout and another, and if she does decide to replace the girls who quit to keep Kelly in mind.
So I guess DD isn't doing anything at school this year unless she makes the musical. (she dances 2 1/2 hours a week, but not through school) I am trying to get her to do student council (everyone gets on, no elections) but she thinks that's for "geeks". I wish she understood that things will be easier later on if she's a student leader and not just someone who sits in the audience. She's still waffling about scorekeeping for volleyball--DH says go ahead, I still think it will be too hard to sit there and watch, esp. if the girls chosen over her don't have these "sklls" the coach thinks they do.
Thanks again guys!
Robin M.

I don't mean any disrespect at all, but the way you're talking in this post it sounds as if this is all more about what you want and what your expectations are rather than your daughter's. Am I wrong? Why isn't dance enough? When my dd spent that much time dancing, I couldn't imagine adding much more on top of it, especially when it came time for recitals. I also don't really understand why you're against her desire to support her team in any capacity, even scorekeeping. If it's something she wants to do, why do you question her ability to handle it?

Again, I really don't mean disrespect, I just wanted to give you an objective view just from observing the posts.

 

[ksjayhawks]

I am sorry that your daughter did not make volleyball. It can be tough when the sports for so many years include everyone, not matter what skill levels, and all get a set amount of playing time.

As for the cheerleading sponsors response, you may not be the first person to contact her. And I guess I don't understand why she should have been empathetic to your daughter's situation. She held cheerleading tryouts for all that were interested. Your daughter chose to try out for volleyball, not cheerleading. If she let her on the squad now or gave her a tryout, she would also have to open up the tryouts to any other girls who found out what happened--and believe me, through the kid's school grapevine, they would. Also, it could have been rough on your daughter if she had gotten on a squad. The others would have known she didn't tryout and a comment could have been made about "your mommy" getting you on or why are you so special that you didn't have to tryout or that she was a volleyball reject---that would have ruined cheerleading for her. (Before you think I am being mean, I taught jr hi for many years.) Then you might never get her to try out for anything again.

I have to agree with your DH. If your daughter wants to be the scorekeeper, let her! At least she will be doing something school related and her positive attitude towards this could help her next year. If she really wants to play volleyball, then have her play on out of school teams. It does sound as if her not making the squad or her being just the scorekeeper hurts you more than her (and these things do hurt us parents as we want the best for our kids and for them to be active and involved.)

Help her learn from this experience. There will be many, many more times in her life that she does not make "the team" or get what she wants. If she learns how to accept the defeat, deal with it instead of dwelling on it, and get on with her life, she will be successful in what she does do.

I wish her luck in trying out for the school musical and for a happy 8th grade year. If she dances 2 1/2 hours a week, scorekeeps, decides to play on another vb team, that will keep her plenty busy. Does her school have a pep club she can join and go to basketball, football games?

No disrespect meant at all. I've been there, done that with my kids and as a teacher.

 

[zurgswife]

I don't mean any disrespect at all, but the way you're talking in this post it sounds as if this is all more about what you want and what your expectations are rather than your daughter's. Am I wrong? Why isn't dance enough? When my dd spent that much time dancing, I couldn't imagine adding much more on top of it, especially when it came time for recitals. I also don't really understand why you're against her desire to support her team in any capacity, even scorekeeping. If it's something she wants to do, why do you question her ability to handle it?

Again, I really don't mean disrespect, I just wanted to give you an objective view just from observing the posts.

I also had the same point of view. You see to have more invested..