Working mom vent

[Mkrop]

Even though I work, I am still at home in the evening. Last night my son's friend was there when I got home. So working moms do all the night stuff too. On top of that, I still had to do most of the stuff you had done during the day.

But someone is taking care of your kid during the day, not you. So that task is not being done by you during the day but someone else. If the child is a baby , then someone else is taking care of them and feeding them and changing their diaper during the day, playing with them. I think some are leaving out the whole childcare part of the day, and thinking all we do all day is clean. Kids dont take care of themselves.

I think many are assuming since we are talking PTO that the SAHMs dont have younger children at home. Most of the SAHMs I know have younger kids at home, and then when their youngets reaches full day school age then they usually go back to work in some capacity, FT or PT.

My youngest is in half day K this year so I am pretty sure next year I will be doing some sort of PT work.

 

[summerrluvv]

Well, what does the PTA do for parents that have small children at home and school age children? They probably bring the small children to the daytime meetings no? I think it could work the same for at night. I think it's unfair and I'm sorry OP

I'm currently a SAHM during the day, but I do work a few evenings a week at the place I was working f/t during the day at. You know what is funny....a couple of weeks ago my boss said "So what DO you do with your time during the day?" Like I just sit home and watch TV all day or something. In reality, I have doctor/dentist appts, tons of playdates, music and gymnastics and a little bit of rest and relaxation before I go work all evening!!

 

[slo]

I didn't read the whole thread - sorry!!!

I am a working mom, and I always have been.
I have many friends who are SAHMs, and I deeply respect their decision, and I hope they respect mine.
If I were in charge of the meeting time, I would have had everyone write on a piece of paper their ideal meeting time and put them in a jar. I would then, in front of everyone, pick a paper, and that paper would say what time the meeting would be held. This way no one would feel they are being left out because of their working, or non-working decision.

To the OP, I'm sorry you feel bad, and you every right to vent

 

[luvsJack]

I stopped reading about page 3, so if this was asked forgive me. Why on earth is it necessary to have a meeting for a class party? I have organized class parties from work! I call the mom's on the list to find out who can help, type up a note to go out to all the parents about food to bring, and go buy plates, napkins, cups and such. Viola! A class party and no meeting!

I stayed at home, for awhile, after I made the decision to close our child care center. I did not find it to be more stressful at all. I am not saying that a stay at home mom doesn't work, she does; but I just didn't find the stress. As for "all the places" she has to go or "all the things" she has to do: working moms do all that too. I have to go to dentist and doctor appointments, gymnastics, cheerleading practice, dance class, carpool to Wednesday night youth meetings at church, etc. etc. I just have to do it all after working all day.

 

[DL4my2kids]

Hmmm...not for nothing..but I have worked full time and as a SAHM. The SAHM job is 10 times harder and busier then a full time office job. Just my .02.

 

[Fintastic]

I really can see how being a SAHM would be frustating at times, but (and forgive me) but I just can't see how it's harder than working out of the home. And I've tried picturing having to run four kids on errands and take two babies to the grocery store and having to clean up the same mess every five minutes and I still can't see how it's harder to SAH than to work full time. I know it's all about perspective. For me, I'd love to SAH simply because then I'd have time to do laundry or go to the store during the day rather than have to do it all on nights and weekends. I hate trying to scramble out of the house every morning. I hate having the same argument with DH about who's going to stay home if DD is sick. It seems to me like things would be so much - yes, I'll say it - EASIER if we didn't have to worry about that.

 

[castleview]

I really can see how being a SAHM would be frustating at times, but (and forgive me) but I just can't see how it's harder than working out of the home. And I've tried picturing having to run four kids on errands and take two babies to the grocery store and having to clean up the same mess every five minutes and I still can't see how it's harder to SAH than to work full time. I know it's all about perspective. For me, I'd love to SAH simply because then I'd have time to do laundry or go to the store during the day rather than have to do it all on nights and weekends. I hate trying to scramble out of the house every morning. I hate having the same argument with DH about who's going to stay home if DD is sick. It seems to me like things would be so much - yes, I'll say it - EASIER if we didn't have to worry about that.

Everything is relative.
A SAHM could assume it's easy for you to keep your house together if the kids aren't in it half the day. They can also assume you have a steady income rolling in and you don't have to worry about money.

I work (seasonally) in one of the wealthiest areas of the country outside NYC. I can admire SAHMs who have huge homes with some sort of hired help, beautiful clothes, new cars, access to astounding public and private schools, and vacation homes. Then I realize that they have their own struggles to deal with: higher mortgages, husbands who travel much of the time, the possibility of moving at any time, and ultra-competitive parents.

We all make our choices and they each have pros and cons. If you saw my house and realized I was a SAHM, you'd probably wonder what I'm doing half the day because it's such a pig sty. I just ran five errands, volunteered at one kids' class, drove another to toddler swim class, and picked up much needed milk. It never ends no matter what you do.

Now I'll get off the computer and empty the dishwasher!

 

[Amy&Dan]

I'll say it again, why do we have to compete? Is there some sort of contest we are programmed to participate in the day the blue line shows up on the EPT test? Why is it easier or harder to work, stay home etc? Why do we have to roll eyes, capitalize our letters and keep arguing about who has the tougher job? Sorry, I just think if you are comfortable and feel successful in how your family operates, rejoice, be happy and don't worry about it. You obvioulsy made the right choice. Whether you stay home or work outside the home.

The OP had a gripe, a legitmate one and now all these pages later, we still see ourselves battling for the bigger load to carry. I work harder! No I do! It would be funny if it weren't so sad that decades after it became "okay" for women to make a choice about how to raise their children, we still clearly haven't gotten to comfortable with that decision making process.

I never see men arguing about this stuff. Maybe they are on to something.

Women are truly each others' own worst enemy. It makes me sad.

 

[WDSearcher]

Why is it that only the working moms have a chip on their shoulders? How come when a SAHM says that it's harder to stay home with kids, they aren't the ones with the chip on their shoulder? It goes both ways.

I believe EMom was referring to that one poster specifically, not all working moms in general. At least, that's how I read it.

 

[Jeninindy]

I can't even imagine how hard it would be to be a single parent. I admire all of the single moms.

I think the SAHM's probably aren't trying to be mean. They just don't understand. Last year I took a vacation day to volunteer for my son's field trip. As soon as I got there, the usual moms (you know the ones that go on every field trip) acted like I was from outer space. So I started talking with them, introducing myself. The homeroom mom said "Its about time you showed up for something." I replied, "Well, it is a little hard when you work full-time and need to take a vacation day to be here. So when you are at the beach this summer, remember me at work, since I am taking my vacation day now." Her face turned white. Later on, she apologized to me, but I think she really didn't understand or rather she talked with thinking.

OMG - how rude was that. Glad you were able to make her think about her rudeness and hopefully she thinks before speaking in the future.

 

[missj1975]

I'll say it again, why do we have to compete? Is there some sort of contest we are programmed to participate in the day the blue line shows up on the EPT test? Why is it easier or harder to work, stay home etc? Why do we have to roll eyes, capitalize our letters and keep arguing about who has the tougher job? Sorry, I just think if you are comfortable and feel successful in how your family operates, rejoice, be happy and don't worry about it. You obvioulsy made the right choice. Whether you stay home or work outside the home.

The OP had a gripe, a legitmate one and now all these pages later, we still see ourselves battling for the bigger load to carry. I work harder! No I do! It would be funny if it weren't so sad that decades after it became "okay" for women to make a choice about how to raise their children, we still clearly haven't gotten to comfortable with that decision making process.

I never see men arguing about this stuff. Maybe they are on to something.

Women are truly each others' own worst enemy. It makes me sad.

Yeah this thread is sad and also funny. Funny that women are actually debating who has the harder job. Ladies you need to watch the Discovery Channel show "Dirty Jobs" and then maybe you will be thankful instead of fighting like children fighting over who has the better toy.

 

[GJM]

I was a FT working mom and I am now a SAHM. I actually get really bored staying at home. I just started working PT and I do volunteer at the school. We only have 1 DS - so maybe that is it. I can only clean so much. Life is easier not working (for me)

Working FT was harder - when my DS started elementary school, when we got home we had to do homework & dinner. The weekends were spent running errands, with me taking my DS as he moaned about it.

I try and get all my errands done when DS is in school, after school, we do homework and I take him to his activities.

When I worked FT I felt very out of place at the school when I did come for a trip or something, because all the mom's knew each other.

 

[dogluva]

Hmmm...not for nothing..but I have worked full time and as a SAHM. The SAHM job is 10 times harder and busier then a full time office job. Just my .02.

Hmmmm.....not for nothing but I can't really believe this post is for real. Just my .02.

 

[dogluva]

Yes, I was a single working mom, 2 young sons, for over 10 years. I have worked at times 70 hours a week, and still did laundry and fed the kids. And I still think being a SAHM is harder.

I have summers off and teach during the school year. I think that working is 100 times harder. You think it is easier to work, I think staying home is a breeze. To me, it doesn't even compare. Maybe I just like being with my kids and that is what makes it easier.

 

[TomLovesBecky]

I know exactly what you're talking about. What I usually get is the look like I'm a leper when other moms find out I work. Even though I am working fewer hours these days and because of my odd schedule (nights, weekends, 12-hr. shifts, etc.) I am almost always available to go to the kids' meetings, games, or parties...I still get it. Like I am not "one of them" and there is something wrong with me because I work. It sucks.