Work Vacation issue. WWYD?

[sam_gordon]

At the end of the day, your family's needs come before hers.

Since when did a summer vacation become a "need"?
Is the OP entitled to take the week in question? Sure. Would I do it? Not unless I already had plans (and I would be foolish to make plans without making sure I can take the time off).

 

[MamaBelle4]

Since when did a summer vacation become a "need"?
Is the OP entitled to take the week in question? Sure. Would I do it? Not unless I already had plans (and I would be foolish to make plans without making sure I can take the time off).

I mean, looking at it objectively, there are 52 weeks a year. OP says she's in the middle of the pack, so let's assume 6 weeks are taken, that leaves 46 weeks to choose from. And the ONLY one that works, is one that a coworker needs for her daughter's wedding? 46 weeks? And nothing works?

I understand not wanting to take your kid out of school, but it will not be the end of his education. A week will not make a difference between an A and an F. He can easily, I assume, take work with him.

Frankly, I would do all I could to accommodate the coworker because it is, in all honesty and in my opinion, the right thing to do.

 

[Hikergirl]

I am reading the OP that the weeks she wants to take for her vacation are the ones at the end of July, any week in July and the first 2 weeks of August, BUT the only one left for her is the 2nd week in August.

It is also not fair for any of us to say to the OP that her reasons for wanting a specific week aren't good enough, or don't make a difference, or they aren't as important as the wedding of a co-workers daughter. The OP has her reasons for what weeks she wants, they aren't anyone's business and they aren't any less valid than any other person's reasons.

 

[Bluestars]

It sounds like your coworker has been inconsiderate in the past when she has said that she will cover for people and cancelled at the last minute. I know a few people like that and it's very annoying. Even so, I would not take the week that a coworker needed off for her child's wedding. I would figure out a way to take off on a different week during the year.

 

[gwynne]

I mean, looking at it objectively, there are 52 weeks a year. OP says she's in the middle of the pack, so let's assume 6 weeks are taken, that leaves 46 weeks to choose from. And the ONLY one that works, is one that a coworker needs for her daughter's wedding? 46 weeks? And nothing works?

I understand not wanting to take your kid out of school, but it will not be the end of his education. A week will not make a difference between an A and an F. He can easily, I assume, take work with him.

Frankly, I would do all I could to accommodate the coworker because it is, in all honesty and in my opinion, the right thing to do.

And I also think the mother-of-the-bride co-worker should be very accommodating in the next vacation selection cycle.

 

[wilkeliza]

I've dealt with policies like this before and usually it isn't that only 1 person can be off at the same time just that only 1 person can have guaranteed off time on any given day. That is to cover those who would be off due to schedules, off for sick days or injury etc. Disney actually does this where only a percentage of employees can have requests granted for any given week or day at a time but that doesn't mean other employees don't also get that date. Heck at Disney Store Times Square where there are hundreds of employees if I remember only 4 of us were allowed to request and be approved for time off at any given time.

It seems this employer allows shift changing and covering. If the woman whose daughters wedding it is doesn't get that week due to the seniority system then it is on her to find coverage. That is how it works at almost every retail or shift job I ever had. Sure the policy sucks (sometimes it is first come first serve, sometimes it was seniority based yearly picking) but if it is the only week left that the OP would have chosen then seniority says it is hers to take and the mother in question would need to work with her employer and coworkers to get that week covered for her daughters wedding once the schedule comes out later. I actually think this situation is pretty common when you look at shift work. Now if this is an office I would imagine they could figure out how to make it work to have 2 of their employees out for the same week and still have the coverage they need.

 

[FlightlessDuck]

All of you and your manager should sit down with this "new" employee and explain why you all feel like she's taking advantage of your very stupid PTO setup by saying she will cover for someone and then not do so. Taking this week in spite doesn't fix the underlying problem you all have with her. So you will end up with the week off, probably ticking off other people who left it open from the wedding person, and the actual problem you have with her doesn't get addressed.

That doesn't fix your the problem of you and this other person wanting this one week off. I don't know how to solve that, honestly. There is really no other week you can take? Not one that's kind of inconvenient but works anyway?

 

[MamaBelle4]

I am reading the OP that the weeks she wants to take for her vacation are the ones at the end of July, any week in July and the first 2 weeks of August, BUT the only one left for her is the 2nd week in August.

It is also not fair for any of us to say to the OP that her reasons for wanting a specific week aren't good enough, or don't make a difference, or they aren't as important as the wedding of a co-workers daughter. The OP has her reasons for what weeks she wants, they aren't anyone's business and they aren't any less valid than any other person's reasons.

I have to disagree. If it was an extended family member's wedding then I would be inclined to agree, but it is her daughter's. That is one of those life events that trumps others. Like if her mother has to have surgery, that is more important and more valid than someone just wanting to take a vacation that week. Weddings of immediate family members fall in the same category to me.

 

[Hrhpd]

I get that. But the ones to pick earlier had more choices. I think it's far more likely to be chosen now that the other weeks are gone.

That said, I can definitely see both sides of this.

Maybe, maybe not. It depends on the mindset of the team.

Not saying that technically the OP isn't entitled to that week, I just wouldn't want to have to be 'the one' to face the team if everyone before me picked a different week to save that week for her and then I come along and take it.

Since her son will be in college next year, colleges usually have extended breaks between semesters. I would just plan on doing something warm the second week in January when prices are off-season and give up my summer vacation for one year.

 

[FlightlessDuck]

As annoying as this lady might be, it's her daughter's wedding. Sometimes you take one for the team. Go on vacation during spring break or winter break instead. Or move his party to be after vacation and take off right after graduation.

Or quit your job and work somewhere that has a better vacation set up.

 

[Poohforyou]

How is it even possible for only 1 person to be out at a time? Does no one in your department get more than 2 weeks vacation?

In your position I'd talk to my other coworkers to see if they left the week open for her or are planning to do so. I'd base my decision on that feedback.

I'm so glad I've never had to deal with this. I can't imagine having to pick my vacation for next year now.

 

[Hikergirl]

I have to disagree. If it was an extended family member's wedding then I would be inclined to agree, but it is her daughter's. That is one of those life events that trumps others. Like if her mother has to have surgery, that is more important and more valid than someone just wanting to take a vacation that week. Weddings of immediate family members fall in the same category to me.

It trumps other things in your own life, but I don't necessarily believe a co-workers daughter's wedding trumps what I deem as a need for my own family.
I would not take that week, however if there were different circumstances in my life where that was the only week I could, or I needed then I wouldn't hesitate to take it. The co-worker is free to discuss her issues with management or HR. It is not my job to make sure she gets vacation time. That also goes for your hypothetical if someone's mother needs surgery. The employees are not responsible for re-arranging a schedule to accommodate another employee, that is what the bosses are for.

 

[Disneybuckeye]

I would not take it. You said your son's college move in day is August 17. That is the middle of the third week. Don't you need that week off to take him? It also sounds like your kids are older. We never took summer vacations when our kids were in high school or college. Between jobs and school/sports activities it just did not work. We usually managed a few days around Christmas as that was the only time everyone was free.

Also, are you sure you don't want the week around your son's graduation and party off? I know I was really busy then and took time off then.

Does your department allow people to take a day or two off during the week even if someone else is off the whole week? How do you handle it if people call in sick? What if someone's child is sick? The policy sounds terrible that you cannot plan your 2017 vacation until the list gets to you. What if you wanted to take a cruise in January or February?

I manage a department of 11-14. I allow multiple people off at the same time. I just make sure to manage the business so the most important items are done first and then we go from there. It can be done and none of my clients ever complain.

 

[Poohlove]

When your co-workers found out the dates for the wedding did she speak to someone higher up directly to say "hey, my daughter is getting married, I know the vacation policy but is there something that we can work out because she will hopefully only get married once and I want to be there?" If so, what was the outcome?

 

[Hrhpd]

Per a previous thread, the OP works in a surgery center that does cataract surgery. I can understand the strict scheduling policies to make sure there is enough staff for a scheduled surgery.

I still would not take the week. The OP was just in Disney this past October, so it is not like it is unprecedented that she travel in the fall.

 

[ronandannette]

Call in sick for more than 1 day.

With everybody knowing it's so you can take a trip? That'd get you canned at my company and I'd be the one doing the canning. That's a terrible, no-integrity way to get what you want. We need a "dislike" button on this board.

 

[roliepolieoliefan]

I didn't read all the replies but will try to update .
I'm a nurse in a small surgery center
No weekends, no call, no holidays so we put up with a crappy vacation policy .
These jobs are hard to come by.

We have had people quit with managements refusal to hire more
I'm part time on paper but have been working between 35-40 hours a week since May.
We are told basically do it or quit
Management knows these jobs are hard to come by.

All other summer weeks are taken that work for my family. We can't take vacation during holidays either

My son will be a freshman in college so yea pulling him is a big deal and not an option.

 

[Hrhpd]

From the original post

I considered Tganksgiving week but airfare , resorts are all inflated x3 because of the holiday.

I didn't read all the replies but will try to update .

All other summer weeks are taken that work for my family. We can't take vacation during holidays either

If you can't take vacation during holidays, why were you contemplating taking the Thanksgiving week in your original post and then decide against it due to cost?

Now I am beginning to doubt the veracity of the rest of your story.


As I mentioned in a previous post, if cost is an issue, you could easily vacation in the off season in January when your son is between semesters and the cost is low. You obviously dislike this coworker a great deal. Perhaps some soul searching on why no other week will work for your family is in order?

 

[Bluestars]

I didn't read all the replies but will try to update .
I'm a nurse in a small surgery center
No weekends, no call, no holidays so we put up with a crappy vacation policy .
These jobs are hard to come by.

We have had people quit with managements refusal to hire more
I'm part time on paper but have been working between 35-40 hours a week since May.
We are told basically do it or quit
Management knows these jobs are hard to come by.

All other summer weeks are taken that work for my family. We can't take vacation during holidays either

My son will be a freshman in college so yea pulling him is a big deal and not an option.

The good thing about college is that they usually get a large amount of time off for the Christmas break, much longer than one week. I was surprised when I found out. Also, they should have a week off for spring break.

 

[Wendy31]

That's a seriously awful vacation policy - even for a surgery center.

12 people & 8 weeks of summer means some people are never going to get a summer vacation - especially when you add in the other things you have to schedule around (school schedules, camp schedules, holidays, family commitments, etc.)

What if you were further down the line, & someone else picked the 2nd week of August? Then you wouldn't get a summer vacation anyway.

Have you spoken to the co-workers that are after you? Do you know for sure if you don't take the 2nd week of August someone else will before it gets to the Mother of the Bride?

You're in the proverbial "stuck between a rock & a hard place" situation - thanks to both the surgery center's policy & the Mother of the Bride letting everyone know she needs that week.

I do think family weddings trump summer vacations, but, that said, I'm not sure what I would do.

Like others have said, I wouldn't want to be "that person" especially if everyone else has purposefully left that week open. However, I also wouldn't want to miss a chance for a summer vacation w/ my family before my son goes to college either. And, admittedly, if my co-worker were the type to not "help out" & cover for others as needed, it'd be more difficult for me to give up the week - but, again, I'd have a hard time taking the week.

June is half a year away still. Have you even looked at the possibility of rescheduling your son's graduation party? Would it be possible to switch your vacation & the graduation party & turn the graduation party into a "Congratulations on your Graduation/Going to College!" Party in August instead?