Work Problem, What Would You Do?

[Minnie]

Yea well here is the image I have......

 

[ChillyWilleys]

Don't see where I ever stated that family wasn't important. Not quite sure how you read that into what I wrote

Just because I choose to be a responsible adult doesn't mean I put my family after my job. That just doesn't make sense

Sorry if I implied that you don't put your family first, thats not what I meant. I simply meant that I work to live, not live to work just as I said. If my work interfered with my wedding then oh well. As I said before I was denied the time off for my wedding, and I quit that job. No regrets. I'd do it again. Not the type of place for me. It interfered with the more important things in life. For the record thats my personal statement and I am in no way saying that you feel your family is any less important to you than mine is to me. (also its not that I don't find work important, I've never been fired always get good reviews, don't go in late, and can count on one hand how many times I've called in sick.)

 

[Hixski]

I worked with someone years ago that was notorious for "needing" everyone elses vacation. It was all very dramatic and end of the world for this person. I honestly think she did it on purpose. She was low man on the senority list but seemed to wait till people had vacations planned out and then had to have that week.

Example: Most of our people took their vacations at off times. One year out of the whole summer 2 people took one week each in the summer. Drama queen could only go on the 2 weeks that these people had. (Those 2 weeks were the only ones her husband could take so she said) One person gave her the week she needed and moved to a different week. A couple of weeks later she came up and said now she didn't need it anymore. This was after much drama about it would be the end of the world if she did not get that week. Everyone was thrilled when she finally left the company.

 

[swilphil]

I don't think she did it to cause me harm, I don't think she gives a crap though. We have a cordial relationship at best, but we aren't best friends.

She hates her job and she's trying to get a transfer/promotion but she's not able to transfer/promote out due to poor job performance. She's been told that she can't be transferred or promoted, so I know that she's looking for a job outside the company. She hates our office.

I could make these changes and she could quit any day.

Sounds like she will quit, and I really don't blame her, if she isn't allowed to have the date off for her wedding. More likely she won't be there anyway since she's looking for another job.

A wedding is a once in a lifetime event. That should take priority over someone else's annual vacation.

 

[luv2laugh]

A wedding is a once in a lifetime event. That should take priority over someone else's annual vacation.

But the OP said that this woman is divorced - not technically once in a lifetime

 

[tiggger1]

Sounds like she will quit, and I really don't blame her, if she isn't allowed to have the date off for her wedding. More likely she won't be there anyway since she's looking for another job.

A wedding is a once in a lifetime event. That should take priority over someone else's annual vacation.

While a wedding usually is a once in a lifetime event. Its isnt the OP that the coworker didnt check to see if she could get the time off. The Co-worker was hired as a cover for the OP. Its her job to be there when the OP isnt. She should have come made sure the OP was going to be there before she made plans. If she came to the OP and then found out that is was the same weekend and asked her personally to move her vacation then it is one thing. but she never asked the OP like she was supposed. Which means she probably already new it was the same and either didnt care or just didnt take the time to find out. Either way, its her problem, not the OP.

also if she is still there by wedding time (which i highly doubt) the wedding is only 1 day( weekend) why cant she still have the wedding and move the honeymoon out a week? there a a ton of people who dont go on their honeymoon right away.

OP I would keep your vacation. Its not your fault, she didnt plan

 

[aprilgail2]

also if she is still there by wedding time (which i highly doubt) the wedding is only 1 day( weekend) why cant she still have the wedding and move the honeymoon out a week? there a a ton of people who dont go on their honeymoon right away.

OP I would keep your vacation. Its not your fault, she didnt plan

I agree with that-she only needs one day for a wedding and then why should she get to go on vacation when the OP can't! She can move her honeymoon to another week that is free, especially being this is not a first wedding!

 

[maddhatir]

ITA! That is our plan too! It is just DH and I- we are too irresponsible for kids

OT but- I left a job b/c they used the word......"teamwork" and "team player" there was another "annoying" word they used, but right now it is slipping my mind! BUT ugh!

Sorry- I am here from 8 to 4 to get a paycheck- that is all, I am not part of any "team"

"PROACTIVE!" was the other word!

 

[scheddj]

If I were you I'd change your vacation dates - not because you want to be the nice guy and give her dream wedding (although I would tell the co-worker and boss that was why I was giving in). I'd do it so that I don't get screwed out of any vacation at all this year. You know realistically that she's not going to switch her date. If she doesn't find a new job in time for you to train anyone else you'll lose your vacation anyway when she quits just before her wedding - and you know she will. Just my two cents.

 

[mommanne]

Well, my co-worker got lucky. The guy I rent from got his extended family to switch weeks around so that I can have the cottage for two weeks in July. I don't have any idea how many people have been impacted by this change, but it's more than just me. My husband and kids are pretty bummed out that we won't get to see some of our summer friends this year.

I still don't know what I would have done if it hadn't worked out this way. My husband reminded me that it's actually the third time she's done this. I'd forgotten about Thanksgiving before last when I had 20 people coming to dinner and I requested the Wednesday off, and she said that she wouldn't be coming in, period. I had to work that day.

She does have issues with my having seniority, and with her main function being my back up. She compares everything we get, right down to gifts at the holidays. Once when cake was served she was very hurt because my slice of cake was larger than hers, and confronted the person who served the cake!

All's well that ends well, and she got her way once again. I'm sure she'll be pleased as punch but she won't thank me or appreciate it at all. Luckily I'm a firm believer in karma.

 

[My2Cinderellas]

I'm happy for you that it's worked out.

but my $.02 is that the wedding/vacation importance is not the issue here to me. it's more about the work dynamic between the two of you. Personally, my gut reaction would be to go ahead and let the boss know and have her fired right now - so that you have time to hire and train another backup person to enjoy your weeks off in August. Instead of walking on eggshells around this person in hopes that she won't leave her job, which might screw you out of a vacation whether it's in July or August. she now holds the power and will push it to the limit, IMO.

 

[mommanne]

I'm happy for you that it's worked out.

but my $.02 is that the wedding/vacation importance is not the issue here to me. it's more about the work dynamic between the two of you. Personally, my gut reaction would be to go ahead and let the boss know and have her fired right now - so that you have time to hire and train another backup person to enjoy your weeks off in August. Instead of walking on eggshells around this person in hopes that she won't leave her job, which might screw you out of a vacation whether it's in July or August. she now holds the power and will push it to the limit, IMO.

I agree that she's pushing it to the limit, but she's only burying herself and she doesn't need my help. She's already gotten her supervisor, who's been her champion right along, pretty upset with her over this. She's been stripped of some of her duties and they've been given back to me, because she wasn't doing things correctly. My boss is aware of it and won't be putting up with much more.

As a believer in karma, I don't want to hurt her. By her actions she's doing a great job of hurting herself without my assistance. I'd lay odds that she's gone by April.

 

[maxiesmom]

I'm glad that you switched your weeks, only because it puts you in a better light. It sounds like that girl has a problem with her postition in the company, and she is taking it out of you in petty ways. It really sounds like she needs to be given the boot, and a new back-up for you found, pronto!

 

[DISUNC]

I don't really get the "Wedding Trumps Vacation" point of view, I guess.

The OP has a standard vacation time. She had Supervisor approval to take that time off again this year, is my understanding, and probably has non-refundable deposits made for a house rental.

The coworker, knowing that the OP takes a yearly vacation "sometime during that time of year" made plans for her wedding. Knowing that the she and the OP have to coordinate vacation times, the coworker didn't check with the OP to see if she already has a vacation approved before making her plans.

IMO, whomever had approval for the vacation time first should get it off.

I don't understand the folks who think that a coworker's wedding should trump the OP's family vacation plans just because it's a WEDDING... it's not the OP's wedding... It would be a nice gesture if she could/would change her vacation time, but she shouldn't be out any money because her coworker didn't check before making her plans.

Who PLANS a wedding without knowing if they can get the vacation time off of work first???????

Heck I dont even plan a WDW vacation until I am sure I can get the time off of work.

Sorry OP but if I was you I'd be peeeeeeeeved! No Wedding present for that coworker.

 

[Hixski]

Well, my co-worker got lucky. The guy I rent from got his extended family to switch weeks around so that I can have the cottage for two weeks in July. I don't have any idea how many people have been impacted by this change, but it's more than just me. My husband and kids are pretty bummed out that we won't get to see some of our summer friends this year.

I still don't know what I would have done if it hadn't worked out this way. My husband reminded me that it's actually the third time she's done this. I'd forgotten about Thanksgiving before last when I had 20 people coming to dinner and I requested the Wednesday off, and she said that she wouldn't be coming in, period. I had to work that day.

She does have issues with my having seniority, and with her main function being my back up. She compares everything we get, right down to gifts at the holidays. Once when cake was served she was very hurt because my slice of cake was larger than hers, and confronted the person who served the cake!

All's well that ends well, and she got her way once again. I'm sure she'll be pleased as punch but she won't thank me or appreciate it at all. Luckily I'm a firm believer in karma.

It is starting to sound just like the coworker I described a few posts past. I had a feeling it was the same type of person.

 

[mommanne]

It is starting to sound just like the coworker I described a few posts past. I had a feeling it was the same type of person.

Yes, now that I'm actually thinking about it, she has issues with a lot of things. This was a total power play and she'll think she's won.....again.

In the end she's just making herself look inconsiderate, unprofessional, etc.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Yes, now that I'm actually thinking about it, she has issues with a lot of things. This was a total power play and she'll think she's won.....again.

In the end she's just making herself look inconsiderate, unprofessional, etc.

I have to say you are a nice person. I wouldn't have moved my vacation.

I also do a yearly thing with friends and no way I could change the date. We go on a "boating vacation".

Same cabin, same time every year. We have a "standing booking" with the place.

I hope you get your karma!

 

[mommanne]

I have to say you are a nice person. I wouldn't have moved my vacation.

I also do a yearly thing with friends and no way I could change the date. We go on a "boating vacation".

Same cabin, same time every year. We have a "standing booking" with the place.

I hope you get your karma!

Aw shucks, thanks! I don't know if what I've done is nice, or just trying to make work go smoothly. I try to avoid drama at all costs.

 

[MELSMICE]

Well, my co-worker got lucky. The guy I rent from got his extended family to switch weeks around so that I can have the cottage for two weeks in July. I don't have any idea how many people have been impacted by this change, but it's more than just me. My husband and kids are pretty bummed out that we won't get to see some of our summer friends this year.

I still don't know what I would have done if it hadn't worked out this way. My husband reminded me that it's actually the third time she's done this. I'd forgotten about Thanksgiving before last when I had 20 people coming to dinner and I requested the Wednesday off, and she said that she wouldn't be coming in, period. I had to work that day.

She does have issues with my having seniority, and with her main function being my back up. She compares everything we get, right down to gifts at the holidays. Once when cake was served she was very hurt because my slice of cake was larger than hers, and confronted the person who served the cake!

All's well that ends well, and she got her way once again. I'm sure she'll be pleased as punch but she won't thank me or appreciate it at all. Luckily I'm a firm believer in karma.

You are much more considerate than I am because I don't think I would have moved my vacation, considering my family would be missing out on something they look forward to.

I hope your co-worker appreciates what you have done.

 

[delilah]

I haven't read the whole thread, but, I certainly would do all I could to change my vacation to accomodate a co-workers wedding. I have done so, if we change the specifics of the situation.

In 2002, we had a Disney trip planned for the first week of November. We had gone the previous year the same time, and loved it. We planned it from the time we returned the previous year. My coworkers had different plans however. I had two fellow female coworkers and both became pregnant and delivered in 2002. The one who delivered first left the practice because the "big boss" couldn't accomodate her request to work 3 days instead of 4 after her baby was born. The second one's due date was the first week of November. Now, why couldn't I take my vacation? Well, we are family physicians. We had 7 doctors in the practice at the time, and need to cover 3 office locations every day of the week. Nobody was allowed to have vacation during Dr. #2's maternity leave, because we wouldn't have had coverage for call and the offices if we had. I assure you, it takes longer than 7 months to recruit and hire a new family physician. It took 2 years to replace the one who left. (It takes 7 years beyond a bachelor level degree to become a board certified family physician; that is minimum training to do my job).

It was unpleasant having to change my vacation plans, but, I wouldn't have wanted to endanger patients to take a vacation. I am hoping things work out for you--ultimately, everything has worked well for me in my practice.