Work from home and how friends have disappeared...

[HollyMac71]

I know a lot of people work from home. I'm one of them. I love it. It's great. However now I have discovered how people have disappeared that I used to be in touch with all the time. There are some friends that stay close, however, there are some friends I have known longer that have disappeared.
I don't understand what happened....

Can anyone else that works from home help shed some light on this....

 

[zulemara]

I work from home and I can say that sometimes when I am done with work I just want to get off the computer and go do something outside my house. Lucky for me, there is plenty to do around here. Perhaps that's the reason?

 

[Jotash]

I don't work from home, but due to injury my husband does. He likes it, but finds his employer (the same he had before doctor's orders not to travel daily) takes a bit of advantage. He has no sick days and is working 24/7. Something wrong with the server at 3:00 in the morning? His concern. Even when we went to WDW last week they called him to do some work. It took forever for them to understand he wasn't home. The rest of his team takes time off regularly and is not bothered because they're not "in the office." That's not true for him. He's working more and more.

 

[aggielawyer]

What efforts do you make to get out of the house and connect with people? I recently started working out of my home on a trial basis, but I knew ahead of time that I can be a hermit so I set up some 'rules' for myself. I joined a bible study at my church to meet people. I had thought about joining a gym as well, but I've actually been on the go more than I expected so I haven't needed that to break up my days like I'd thought. Since I've been working at home I haven't had that many days that I haven't had a court hearing or meeting with a client to make me get out of the house.

I think that when you work at home (though this is only based on a few months experience) it can become easier--at least for me--to let other activities and relationships slide. Or it may be just the natural ebb and flow of relationships that you're going through right now.

 

[WaltD4Me]

I work at home sometimes and I know I am stricter with people when I'm at home. When they call me at work they know I only have a few minutes, but if I'm working at home they tend to think they can call more and talk longer, so I actually avoid calls and computer chat at home more than I do when I'm in the office. Maybe that has something to do with it?

 

[HollyMac71]

For my New Years resolution it will be to get out more. When I first went home to work I hibernated in the house for a week - not doing that again. So I get out of the house more times per week now. However, how many time can one go to the mall and walk around - not many.

 

[myweegirls]

When I was on "maternity leave" (both times), I was actually working on a reduced schedule from home and was worried about losing contact with the rest of the world between a sweet new baby and work. I normally have a really long commute and a set of friends near that job, but I found that I was able to stop working and go out for lunch with friends who work closer to home. It made me stop, take a break, and get out of the house with the baby - an added bonus! In the coming year, I expect to be looking at a flex schedule to deal with an insane commute and am hoping to do some of the same kind of thing. It's definitely an adjustment - I think we take for granted how much working in a traditional office setting supports a social existence! Good luck.

XO
Liz

 

[ADP]

I work from home one day a week (usually Friday). I don't take for granted one second how fortunate I am to be able to do it. I really do work when I'm at home. I sometimes take a longer lunch break to run errands, but for the most part I keep my eye on things and accomplish what needs to be done before the day is out.

As for people disappearing....I'm not sure what to say except you may want to check to see if Harry Houdini works in your office.

 

[WebmasterJohn]

I think many people think working from home sounds 'glamorous'. I often hear how lucky I am to be able to work from home - and it is true - I am very lucky - but most folks don't get how hard it is too.

It's very easy to sacrifice time doing other things in favor of working. There's always one more thing to do, one more project you can start/finish - before you know it the time slips away from you.

While you may not lose your true friends when you work from home you will give up that casual social interactions you had working in an office. While you may not be super close to people you work with (and actually may hate a few) you still have daily connections that you don't have when you work from home. This is harder for some to deal with than others.

It's important to schedule the time for social/family/fun events when you work from home. Whatever that is for you - whatever you find important - you have do make time to do it.

It also helps if you have a partner who is more social than you are. If it weren't for Kevin I might not leave the house for weeks at a time. He forces me to get out - even if it's just to have dinner with friends who are in town - or go with him to take his Mom to lunch. If it wasn't for him initiating a lot of things like that I would probably stay in my office all day, every day.

You just need to find that balance and what works best for you.

 

[ragtopday]

I work from home, by choice, most days. I go into my actual office (only a short drive from home) once or twice a month.

For many of us, work is our main social connection. Even if we only see those people at work, we are interacting with others in a face-to-face way. We discuss TV shows, sporting events, current events, weekend plans, etc. Even when the conversations aren't "meaningful" in the big picture sense, they are important simply because we're connecting with others.

As others here have stated, when you don't have that built-in social connection by going to work everyday, you have to find other ways to create it. Take a class, join a club, go to events at your local library or whatever interests you. I have children, so their events put me in touch with the parents of their friends, which has led to real friendships. Even when it's strictly casual, it's something.

Also, don't wait for others to initiate contact - maybe your friends think you're the one who disappeared! Reach out and see what happens. The start of a new year is a great impetus to re-establish contact, even if it's only to catch each other up until the next new year.

 

[FireDancer]

I work from home one day a week (usually Friday). I don't take for granted one second how fortunate I am to be able to do it.

I think that would be the way to go. I like the separation of work and home and like having an office to go to. I don't think I would like working from home every day of the week.

 

[sayhello]

I think that would be the way to go. I like the separation of work and home and like having an office to go to. I don't think I would like working from home every day of the week.

I totally agree with this. It's so hard to know when & how to draw the line between work & non-work time when you work from home. Sometimes I think I'd never get out of my pajamas! I only work from home on occasion, and do enjoy it. But I could never do it full time. Not having to commute once a week, though, would be fabulous!

Sayhello

 

[DSNY4ever]

I am not sure I understand- are these work friends that you feel you have lost?

I work from home and I don't feel like I lost any friends from it. Sure I am not friends with some of the people from my office anymore, but they were just "co-workers," no matter what job I switched to, I would not have kept in touch. I had one real friend there that I hung out with outside of work and we still do.

My friends that I had before I still have and we still do things on weekends like we always did. I agree with the others that the week can be long and boring, and my DH gets an earful when he gets home because it has been so quiet here all day and yes. . . I talk to my dogs .

Podcasts, talk shows and pets will become your new favorite "co-workers"- hope you start enjoying it more soon.

 

[Joshua_me]

There's been some good advice given here...

If these are indeed "work friends" that you are talking about losing, perhaps that couldn't be helped.

A lot of times "work friendships" are out of necessity and convenience. It's natural to form some friendships with people you see everyday, and often times it's "office politics" to see them socially as well. For example, if "the gang" is going out for dinner after work, it's best to go if you're invited to be part of things. Likewise, if a co-worker is throwing a party it's a good idea to make an appearance, even if you have to force yourself a little... It's for the good of the workplace in general.

Now, are these "real friends" ? Well, you have to decide that for yourself. If all of these relationships dried up after you started working at home, I think you have your answer right there.

I wouldn't take it personally.

Concentrate on the people you know and love outside of the work place, and fight that "hermit urge" so many of us get (myself included).

Get yourself out there. Join a group that interests you, take a class in the evening in something you find interesting. You never know what the future will hold...

One thing is for certain, though... It's not going to come knocking on your front door.

 

[HollyMac71]

Thank you all for the words of encouragement. Now who is coming to drag me out of the house. Another probably is my husband works the afternoon shift so me getting out of the house is up to me...

I think it's the casual acquantes (spelling?) that I miss having. Plus other friends that I have known for a long time disappearing - as they work on site and I don't.

Of course that is why I love listening to the DIS and many other podcasts....shoulds like family.

I hope this all makes sense.....
Holly

 

[safetymom]

I think most of us that work from home have a hard time drawing a line between work and fun time. It's easy to keep doing things in the office and hard to walk away. I have tried all sorts of techniques to keep a "normal" schedule and find myself in the office way past when I should have left.

I do have a number of activities that does get me out of the house though. I think losing friends is part of the normal cycle of life. You have certain friends because you share a work bond or something else. Then you do something else and you gain a new group of friends. It's the same when you become a parent, you find new friends that share your experiences.

Just be sure you are allowing time for fun and you will do great!

 

[bcvdreamer]

I've been working at home since 2006 and at times I still find it hard to break away from work. You here the email chime, and you think it will only take a second to check it and then your get sucked into something else.

I walk 3 miles every morning with my neighborhood friends. One works at home and the other is a SAHM. I swear that it keeps me semi-sane. If they have to cancel for some reason, I still take the dog for a walk and that's when I listen to the podcast.

I also meet my husband or friends for lunch.

My boss didn't want to me to get a BlackBerry, because he didn't want me to worry about work when I wasn't in my home office. I didn't listen to him, and there are days that I regret being so accessible.

Good luck, it's an adjustment, but you'll do well.

 

[Joshua_me]

I think losing friends is part of the normal cycle of life.

*sheesh*

That's kind of a depressing thought, but it's true....

Times and circumstances change, people either grow apart or move away - that's just the way it is....

Not to get TOO cheesy here, but I'm reminded of a little poem my Grandmother used to always say:

Make new friends,
But keep the old
One is silver,
The other, gold.


It's something to strive for at least...

 

[BlueFairy]

Thank you all for the words of encouragement. Now who is coming to drag me out of the house. Another probably is my husband works the afternoon shift so me getting out of the house is up to me...

I think it's the casual acquantes (spelling?) that I miss having. Plus other friends that I have known for a long time disappearing - as they work on site and I don't.

Of course that is why I love listening to the DIS and many other podcasts....shoulds like family.

I hope this all makes sense.....
Holly

How far do you live from the office? Is is a situation where you could take time to attend meetings or meet your coworkers for a lunch break? Perhaps that would keep you feeling part of the at-work culture.
Since leaving my job in 2005 I have found that I do miss the people there. One thing that helped was that many of us were going in separate directions for various reasons. Those of us who were buddies decided to meet once a month for a cheap dinner date. It is a standing appointment on my calendar that I don't miss.
I stopped working to be a stay at home mom. My husband and I discussed the possibility of postpartum depression in advance, and I make an effort every month to go out at night at least twice. Bible study, scrapbooking, girls' night, shopping with a friend, anything really. I make sure it is something regular to maintain relationships. Also, take work to the library or the coffee shop and get yourself out in the world just for a change of scenery. Do your exercise away from home, take lunch at the park . . . .
Also, it is important to remember that friends do come and go in your life. I don't have the same friends as I had before with a few exceptions, but these newer friends are even more valuable to me. It will get better if you just keep making the effort.
Hang in there!!!

 

[*NikkiBell*]

I think most of us that work from home have a hard time drawing a line between work and fun time. It's easy to keep doing things in the office and hard to walk away. I have tried all sorts of techniques to keep a "normal" schedule and find myself in the office way past when I should have left.

I do have a number of activities that does get me out of the house though. I think losing friends is part of the normal cycle of life. You have certain friends because you share a work bond or something else. Then you do something else and you gain a new group of friends. It's the same when you become a parent, you find new friends that share your experiences.

Just be sure you are allowing time for fun and you will do great!

I think this is a great post. I have many friends who work from home and always find themselves working more than the "normal" hours. I think with technology it is far too easy to fall into that trap.