Wondering about what expenses to cover for DS13's friend??

[jdkdorn]

We are taking my daughters roommate with us to disney for spring break and we are covering everything. We are doing so because the roommate is helping my daughter stay in college and getting her through her classes and making sure she gets up in the morning. When we took her boyfriend last year he needed to pay for his airfare and his ticket and we paid for all food and entertainment and room. We have taken her friend on a cruisein the past and they pay for the airfare and we paid for the cruise. Now that money is a little more tight we only go once a year and we save for the whole year. This will probably be our last friend on trip until my son graduates high school. Since he is only 12 that gives us time to save.

Financial stability is the main concern, you do not put your family in debt to please a child and take another friend unless you can financially handle it. I know with my son was asked to go with a friend to disney I would expect to at least pay for his disney ticket and at least part of the airfare.

 

[msabol01]

I see a similar situation on the horizon for us. Our DD is 12 and we were thinking of letting her invite 2 or 3 friends for a "sweet 16 birthday" trip. Like you are DS who is four years younger would want to have a friend of his own come along.

I am in the camp that if we invite, we pay. I also don't consider the room an expense for us since we consider DVC a long term "investment" and we would be using our points regardless albeit differently.

So the real out of pocket expenses are: airfare, food and tickets.

Based on some replies, I think I would approach each parent stating that i will pay airfare, but if for whatever reason you or your daughter / son decides not to go, I ask that you reimburse me for that. Drama happens so I am prepared to eat that cost of airfare but hope it will be covered. Food expenses will be realized automatically and tickets can be transferred since they will be new.


TIME TO START SAVING!!!!!!!

 

[gobo2]

We've brought a friend of DD15's with us for the last 3 years. We are comfortable but not well off. All three times the parents paid for airfare, passes and the DDP plus their spending money. We've covered some stuff. I'd love to be able to pay for everything but we just can't. We asked the girls' parents before asking the girls to avoid any hurt feelings.

It never occurred to me that we should expect to pay for everything until I read that most do on these boards. We've done so on shorter car trips and we always pay for dinner, movies, sports, skating or whatever else we do. Eight days at WDW is just too much.

I thought we were doing a nice thing. Now I feel bad.

 

[buzz5985]

I have brought DS friends a few times and have paid for it all. Their parents did send them with spending money.

Janis

 

[AnnaS]

I would pay for all of it if it was me. I look at it like a gift to your ds to make his trip more enjoyable. What if they cannot afford airfare and park tickets...it could be weird. I would offer to pay for it all and if they want to pay for some of it accept their offer.

It it was me -definitely this.

 

[hockey mom]

I have brought many friends throughout the years and I pay for everything. Airfare and tickets are the 2 major expenses so I really dont think its fair to spring those on parents.

 

[JWG]

This really is a delicate situation and balance - what if the friend has siblings and they don't ever get to go (rhetorical question).

I agree on transportation and lodging as I said earlier as for sure. I think age of the child may impact other components (food / tickets).

I think souveneirs and "general spending" such as at an arcade, etc. should always be on the other family.

What is the age that people allow their kids to bring friends? I was 16 the first-time I brought a friend (of course, that was my first trip back since I was 5). After that, I did two trips in college with the same friend (one to DL and one to WDW).

 

[tjkraz]

The more YOU agree to pay for, the greater the odds that the invitation will be accepted.

I don't think there's anything insulting about asking the family to pay for travel and tickets. But with a price tag of up to $1000 (assuming the parents would also want to send some spending money), they could very easily say "thanks but no thanks."

Incidentally, if it's not already too late, I would speak to your son and make sure he does NOT mention this to the friend. You need to speak to the parents first. If the friend isn't able to go, last thing you need is a 13 year old whose made at his parents because they won't spend hundreds of dollars to send him on vacation. That's not fair to the other parents and can very easily cause a rift.

Speak to the parents...tell them something along the lines of "hey, we have some extra room in our timeshare villa and your son is welcome to come along, but it will probably cost around $xxx for airfare and tickets." Make it clear that you're providing the room and food, and get some commitment to buy the plane tickets right away if they're interested.

Since he's a minor, you will probably have to buy the plane tickets with your own. I'd try to get money from them quickly so that the commitment is firm. Otherwise you could end up missing out on great airfare specials while they delay paying, or you'll face the dilemma of whether to just pay for his ticket and hope that the friend will actually come along AND that the parents will reimburse their share.

 

[figment795]

Back in 1990 my parents offered my DH room and food. He paid airfare and park tickets. We were dating at the time stayed the the cabins in Fort Wilderness . My DH was hooked with WDW took till 2004 to own at SSR. I think your request is very reasonable. good luck.

 

[LSchrow]

I see a similar situation on the horizon for us. Our DD is 12 and we were thinking of letting her invite 2 or 3 friends for a "sweet 16 birthday" trip.

although i believe that the other parent (and child) should pay at least for airfare, and preferably park tix in the OP's situation......i don't think a guest invited to a party should ever pay (including destination weddings).

 

[AmyB2006]

I think that is MORE than fair. I used to bring friends when I was this age. My parents paid for the food and room, but the other parents always paid for the tickets. We didn't have to deal with airfare because we are a 3 hour drive away.

But regardless, I think paying for food and lodging is fair. They may not be able to afford to cover the airfare and tickets, so be prepared for that. If you can, and want to, then you could cover those as well. But offering what you've planned to, is fine. Then go from there.

You're offering to take him to Disney, not come over for a sleepover. LOL KWIM? I would never let another family take my child somewhere like Disney and not pay for anything. Even if they insisted on paying for the whole thing.

 

[WAHkoMom]

We've brought a friend of DD15's with us for the last 3 years. We are comfortable but not well off. All three times the parents paid for airfare, passes and the DDP plus their spending money. We've covered some stuff. I'd love to be able to pay for everything but we just can't. We asked the girls' parents before asking the girls to avoid any hurt feelings.

It never occurred to me that we should expect to pay for everything until I read that most do on these boards. We've done so on shorter car trips and we always pay for dinner, movies, sports, skating or whatever else we do. Eight days at WDW is just too much.

I thought we were doing a nice thing. Now I feel bad.

Don't feel bad - - I am really surprised (as are several of my friends) by so many saying they pay for everything when they bring friends along for the trip.

 

[WAHkoMom]

So, I spoke with the mother of my son's friend tonight. Turns out, we never even got to the topic of expenses, because her family is dealing with several issues right now (her husband's job situation, the possibility of moving outside the country - due to aforementioned job situation, and her daughter starts college around the same time of out trip).

We agreed that we'd revisit the whole thing later.

Thanks again for everyone's input.

 

[gobo2]

Don't feel bad - - I am really surprised (as are several of my friends) by so many saying they pay for everything when they bring friends along for the trip.

Thanks!