women only, please

[marybet]

I don't mind at all, in fact if he misses one I will point her out. Always discreetly. He can look all he wants, cause he always comes home with me. If some woman is displaying her "goodies" why waste that?

Besides it's always fun deciding, real or store bought.

 

[TxDisneyFan]

He knows I know he's checking out the women...it's kind of a game now...to see if he can get away with it before I notice what he's doing. If I catch him I tease him mercilessly. We laugh about it and move on. After 23 years of marriage, if he thinks he can catch her, he can have her!

 

[crazy4disney01]

My DH has never done this but I think it is very disrespectful whether it is your husband (or a serious boyfriend). They shouldn't be looking if they took a vow to you, why would they want to?

 

[MOMTOMOOTOO]

Eh. I don't mind a discreet appreciation for an attractive woman, and I'm open minded enough for my DH to say that he finds her visually pleasing. He feels the same way with me. Ogling is a different story.

I feel the same way.

 

[Serena]

People look because they can. We all look at things we find pleasing. It's a normal reaction. However, some people can take it too far. And if the guy hasn't made it clear that you are what he wants, then even a glance at someone else can hurt.
At the beginning of my marriage, he was too busy looking at me to notice anyone else. At the end, he was 10 feet ahead and never noticed that I was there.
It makes a big difference to how you feel.

 

[cakesnkids]

Coveting is coveting, it's a sin, and I don't like it.

 

[Serena]

What do you call it when you are looking at some "thing" you like? Like a flower? Is it different because it breathes? I don't think appreciating how someone looks is coveting. but that's just me

 

[cakesnkids]

It's just my opinion. "things" do not breathe, IN MY OPINION. It's just the way I feel, and my DH knows that, and he is fine with it. Looking at a person is one thing, but looking and commenting means , to me, that you've gone past just a look. To say another woman is beautiful doesn't bother me, but to say "what, she's got a great body"..that's another to me. BUT>.it's just my opinion.

 

[Beca]

Wow!! I don't know....I guess my dh doesn't really do it too often, becuase I've never even noticed. OTOH, I am ALWAYS calling out "attractive people" to him...whether they are male, female, adult or child.

We also have a "dream permission list"...you know, who it would be "okay" if they would consent (not that it would actually happen ), but I am always asking him, "Does ***** need to go on your list?" I'm also pretty forthright about who would be on mine. But, we only joke about celebrities...not real-life people.

I guess if it bothers you...then he/she should stop. If you're not bothered by it....I don't think it really matters.

 

[aurorasleeping]

My ex-boyfriend was *VERY* vocal about other women he found attractive...particularaly if he found them more attractive than me. I told him that it upset me...and he didn't stop. I told him I didn't care if he looked - I just found it very disrepsectful that he would compare me to her, in a negative light. But like the rest of our relationship, his approach was, "take me as I am, now change everything I don't like about you" Needless to say this did wonders for my self-esteem.

My current, wonderful, boyfriend is a totally different story. Not a day goes by he doesn't tell me I'm beautiful, sexy, wonderful, etc..something like that. And, unlike in past relationships, I know he's telling the truth - in his eyes I really am
I know he looks at other women. I'm ok with that. It's human nature. I look at other guys...do I ever say "Wow, that guy's really hot! I wish you looked like that."? NO!! I never even think/feel that either. He never comments on other women either...except to say I'm prettier/cutter or something I love my boyfriend...

 

[graygables]

My first husband always did that. It started affecting my self image. The marriage counsler said it is a form of abuse and disrespect. My DH now never does that. I have been with him 4 years. He makes me feel very good about my self. When I had my back surgery I stayed in bed for 3 months and put on about 10 pounds. My DH never said anything but wonderful kind words. Stand up for your feelings let him know how you feel and maybe things will change.

only I've been with my hubby for almost 12 years now...

he would NEVER disrespect me by looking at someone else and no, it is not "natural", "normal", or in any other way "boys will be boys" behavior. Believe it or not, there are men who are committed and respectful in their relationships (and secure enough) that they do NOT feel the urge to look. My DH leaves the restaurant in the Moroccan pavilion when the belly dancer comes out. He will not even put himself in the position of being perceived to have looked and models that behavior for our daughters to see that is how THEY should be respected by any future suitors. I've given a DD's boyfriend the boot when he said in front of us that someone was "hot". Not only is that disrespecting my daughter, but the girl he said it about and every other female on the planet who should NEVER be objectified. Buh-bye, loser-boy.

 

[FreshTressa]

I broke up with a guy that did this. He was subtle, but it made me feel weird.

DH only looks when it is something outrageous, and then we usually giggle over it. That is one of the things I love about him...he never pays any attention to other women. He doesn't pay a lot of attention to me, either, but that is a different story

 

[KerriSue]

Im usually the one pointing out the hot chicks to my husband. He thinks Im a riot.

 

[starsandpixiedust]

If my boyfriend ever did that right in front of me I would be very upset.
I mean, it's natural to notice that someone is good looking, but if my boyfriend ever "noticed" someone else, I would be very upset.

 

[disneymama73]

In 11 yrs, I have never seen my DH even looking at another woman. My exH, however, noticed everyone.

 

[starsandpixiedust]

Eh. I don't mind a discreet appreciation for an attractive woman, and I'm open minded enough for my DH to say that he finds her visually pleasing. He feels the same way with me. Ogling is a different story.

Contrary to what I said earlier, as long as he feels the same way about me, and isn't prolonging his staring at said attractive woman, then I'm fine with it.

 

[azgal81]

It wouldn't bother me if my boyfriend looked but if he were to point out how much more attractive girls are then me thats a different issue. I don't think I have ever seen my boyfriend even glance at another women when he is with me. I just don't think he's that type of guy.

 

[Hercules10]

A subject title of "women only, please" and ya expect me not to look!? Why not just say 'Nekkid pics of hot chicks inside'.

On the lake, wifey gets more shots at beefcake then I do at cheescake. T'aint fair!

 

[Bob Slydell]

My DH leaves the restaurant in the Moroccan pavilion when the belly dancer comes out.

Wait -- you're serious?

 

[Miss Jasmine]

only I've been with my hubby for almost 12 years now...

he would NEVER disrespect me by looking at someone else and no, it is not "natural", "normal", or in any other way "boys will be boys" behavior. Believe it or not, there are men who are committed and respectful in their relationships (and secure enough) that they do NOT feel the urge to look. My DH leaves the restaurant in the Moroccan pavilion when the belly dancer comes out. He will not even put himself in the position of being perceived to have looked and models that behavior for our daughters to see that is how THEY should be respected by any future suitors. I've given a DD's boyfriend the boot when he said in front of us that someone was "hot". Not only is that disrespecting my daughter, but the girl he said it about and every other female on the planet who should NEVER be objectified. Buh-bye, loser-boy.

I don't know who I am more scared about, you or you DH. I'm sorry but this is quite unnatural. I don't see how looking at someone or thinking they are "hot" is objectifying.