women only, please

[princessmelanie404]

What do you think of men (husbands and boyfriends) that openly check out other women in front of their wives/girlfriends? And pretty much admit they are checking the other women out. I think that everyone finds others attractive, but that it's rude to check out other women in a nondiscreet way. Would you agree or disagree and why?

Would you feel the way you feel only only when it comes to real women (for instance if you were at a restaurant, and he openly watched another women) or would it also apply to photos (him saying, "wow, she's so hot" or "wow, let me see that picture again")

I know we all look at others and this is NATURAL. But I also think that the wife/girlfriend WANTS to feel as if she's the only one he's interested in. And I think that saying, "oh, she's pretty" is much different than saying, "Wow, she's really hot" or "She's got a great body, why do you care if I look at her?"

Just wondering!

 

[Evil Queen]

I hated it when my first husband did that. I didn't really mind with the last ex-husband. But maybe because I openly checked out other guys. I think the older I get, the more I check out (but only any man that looks 25 or older).

The only person that bothers me now, that checks out women, is my best friend, who is a male. I find him attractive, and would love to have a relationship with him, but we are SO different, it wouldn't work out. I have fixed him up on a couple of dates, and I was ok with that. I want him to find someone and be happy, I just don't like when he looks when we are out together. Figure that one out.

 

[Cantw8]

I don't mind so much about pics but to openly check out other women is just rude. What he does on his own time, is his business but if you are with me, you better be focused on me.........I'm just sayin'

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Well if DH was openly checking them out in front of me and announcing it I would be upset. If he continued to do it, I couldn't be with him and live like that.

Hopefully I would have known this when we were dating and broke it off with him.

 

[Sheree Bobbins]

I would say "HOW rude!" Very bad manners. Excuse me if I seem too judgemental!

 

[MushyMushy]

Eh. I don't mind a discreet appreciation for an attractive woman, and I'm open minded enough for my DH to say that he finds her visually pleasing. He feels the same way with me. Ogling is a different story.

 

[chell]

Seems very rude to me. My take is that if they have any respect for you at all they would be discreet about it if they had to check these other women out.

 

[Scraper]

My first husband always did that. It started affecting my self image. The marriage counsler said it is a form of abuse and disrespect. My DH now never does that. I have been with him 4 years. He makes me feel very good about my self. When I had my back surgery I stayed in bed for 3 months and put on about 10 pounds. My DH never said anything but wonderful kind words. Stand up for your feelings let him know how you feel and maybe things will change.

 

[arielsleepingbeauty]

I think it's onl.y natural to check out other people. I know my husband checks out other women, but he does it in a discreet way and doesn't oogle over them. He would never comment to me about them being prettier or thinner, he knows how I am. Although I do not think I am that great, I do have confidence in myself. I have had a long history of lacking self conciousness and now I am in a good place and finally comfortable with myself. My husband appreciates me and he would never be disrespectful to me. I am not against him checking out other women as he isn't against me checking out other women or other men. It is a part of life,it's natural and there is an appropraite time, palce and way to do it.

 

[lowie]

i wouldn't mind if my hubby checked out other women, as long as it's not making the woman uncomfortable.

but.... he's legally blind so i have to check out the pretty girls and report back to him!

 

[Alex2kMommy]

I think it depends on how it's done and how it's handled. In college I dated a guy who was very blatant about it, tongue practically hanging out and staring after a woman, often even making a comment...to me! He'd also constantly belittle my appearance, which did wonders for my self esteem. Fortunately I still had enough left to dump him!

My DH, on the other hand, is a wonderful guy. Occasionally I'll see him sneak a peek at a pretty girl, but he's not blatant or rude about it. He also tells me constantly how much he loves me. I know absolutely that he loves me, so it doesn't bother me.

 

[Missy Mouse]

What do you think of men (husbands and boyfriends) that openly check out other women in front of their wives/girlfriends? And pretty much admit they are checking the other women out. I think that everyone finds others attractive, but that it's rude to check out other women in a nondiscreet way. Would you agree or disagree and why?

Would you feel the way you feel only only when it comes to real women (for instance if you were at a restaurant, and he openly watched another women) or would it also apply to photos (him saying, "wow, she's so hot" or "wow, let me see that picture again")

I know we all look at others and this is NATURAL. But I also think that the wife/girlfriend WANTS to feel as if she's the only one he's interested in. And I think that saying, "oh, she's pretty" is much different than saying, "Wow, she's really hot" or "She's got a great body, why do you care if I look at her?"

Just wondering!

I won't get all bent out of shape about it but I'm not thrilled that there are other women more attractive than I am. Luckily, my boyfriend has always kept our relationship just about us. Even after 2+ years we're still very much into each other. Other men/women have never come up.

 

[minkydog]

i wouldn't mind if my hubby checked out other women, as long as it's not making the woman uncomfortable.

but.... he's legally blind so i have to check out the pretty girls and report back to him!

We takes our advantages where we finds them

 

[southernbella]

As far as I'm concerned, the day my DH met me, his eyes lost the ability to see any other women except me. If, by chance, he does glance at one, the first thoughts running through his head are "Oh, my wife is more beautiful, thin, wonderful, smart, etc". No matter if I am thin or fat, I am the ideal of beauty that my Dh holds all women too. He should think of me at all times, and never daydream about any other. If I should pass before he does, I expect him to spend the rest of his days grieving loudly. Mounuments like the Taj Mahal would not be out of line. These are the rules in my little world.


Do I know that he is human & finds other women attractive? Of course I do. Do I want to know about it? Of course not! Thankfully, Dh is not the type to oogle. I have been that type & couldn't handle it (I am toooo jealous -half Irish & half Hispanic).


Funny story- took a cruise with some friends, no Dh. We decide to check out the topless deck (too may kids around the pool). My friend (who is blond & gorgeous) decides she's going for it. Top off! I couldn't do it. Here comes a man & his wife.

For those who have never cruised, the topless deck is the highest deck on the ship, hence, great views. This man & wife were obviously there to have a romantic moment, gazing over the sea. They cuddle & kiss, then hug each other while looking out over the ocean. The man slowly turns his head, nuzzling the wife, until he could see my friend & the other women who were topless. As he's whispering sweet nothings in her ear, he's oogling & winking at every other girl on the deck!

Sbella

 

[Kimmie5870]

Eh. I don't mind a discreet appreciation for an attractive woman, and I'm open minded enough for my DH to say that he finds her visually pleasing. He feels the same way with me. Ogling is a different story.

You said it better than I could.

 

[Miss Jasmine]

Who cares? I am too busy checking out other women!!!!

 

[Serena]

It depends. Mainly on how he makes me feel.

 

[miste76]

DH2B and I check out other people together!!! We are people watchers and we like to see all different types of people.

 

[Scraper]

Eh. I don't mind a discreet appreciation for an attractive woman, and I'm open minded enough for my DH to say that he finds her visually pleasing. He feels the same way with me. Ogling is a different story.

I agree. It is natural to look but I think the OP was speaking of making it loud and clear and pointing out how much he liked what he saw. Which is disrespectful.

 

[Cool-Beans]

It is always little stuff like this that makes me appreciate DH. I've never caught him oogling anyone.

One time at a party a bunch of guys were talking about some star and how hot she was. He kept saying she did nothing for him. I told him later that I wouldn't have cared if he'd said she was hot - she was hot, even I knew it...and I'm not that insecure. He said he knew that and asked if I'd seen the faces of the other women...I admitted to not looking at them. He said if I'd seen some of their faces as their husbands were going on about it, I'd have done the same thing.

Not only does he not hurt my feelings, he goes out of his way to not hurt other women's feelings.

I married a good guy!!!