Woe is me - but maybe there are alternatives?

[saveaquarter]

So, I am legally married, but that happened in a courtroom while I was 6 months pregnant with twins. As incredibly romantic as that sounds, I very much want a ceremony where I can wear a pretty dress, not look like a whale, and be able show photos to my kids without exposing that deep shade of crimson my neck is slowly turning.

We're headed to Disney in August, and I thought adding in a wedding to our bevvy of celebrations (our accompanying friend's 30th birthday, the bone marrow transplant my husband is getting when we get back) would be lovely. Then I started doing a little research. And then I wanted to cry. It's just not possible for us. It's so far beyond anything we can really afford, and even though my husband would make it happen somehow if I had my heart set on it, between the expense of hospital bills and our incoming additions, it's more stress than I can let him put himself through. Not to mention, I'm pretty sure I missed the boat on planning this shindig.

The ceremony would be just the three (well, five, including the babies) of us on the trip, and I am just too low maintenance for everything Disney offers. The prices are definitely reasonable for what you get in exchange, but... well... I don't want a limo, or a violinist, I want to make a slightly unconventional bouquet, that's a lot of cake for three people (total lie), blah blah etc. All that they offer isn't just outside of our (nonexistant) budget, I'm just not really interested in having those things at something as small and intimate as we want.

Anyway, I'm really not here to yammer about how ~unconventional~ and tiny I want this to be, if we have it at all, I'm hoping some of you ladies who are getting married at Disney, or have been there, done that, and bought the t-shirt, have any ideas or advice to offer me. One of the possibilities I've been entertaining is something at a nearby location and tromping off to a fancy dinner afterwards in all our finery, followed by some character stalking in whichever park is having EMH that night for photo ops.

 

[tiggerrifficheidi]

I think your best answer is either find some off-post location to have the ceremony and then do what you said about making some dinner reservation where you can have a nice dinner.

I know Disney wouldn't "allow" it, but if you had your own minister, you could have the ceremony inside y our room or on your balcony.

One note: you can't enter the parks in a wedding dress, so there will be no EMH if you have a wedding dress (and a bouquet)

Maybe you could schedule a dinner at Victoria and Albert's (or California Grill or Narcoossee's if you want to bring the babies, since V&A's doesn't allow children). Or you could see if you can rent out the Grand 1 yacht for a Wishes Cruise.

As far as pics with characters, there's always a Character meal (again, it would have to be one outside the parks), like Chef Mickey's, but that's definitely not fancy. But, I guess you could get dressed up, have breakfast at Chef Mickey's, take pics there, then go do your ceremony somewhere, then have a nice dinner or Grand 1 cruise that night.

One thing, though, you mentioned pictures, so don't forget the cost of a photographer if that's your main reason for doing this.

 

[saveaquarter]

I think your best answer is either find some off-post location to have the ceremony and then do what you said about making some dinner reservation where you can have a nice dinner.

I know Disney wouldn't "allow" it, but if you had your own minister, you could have the ceremony inside y our room or on your balcony.

One note: you can't enter the parks in a wedding dress, so there will be no EMH if you have a wedding dress (and a bouquet)

I love the balcony idea. I never would have thought of that! My dress will be entirely too simple to really count as a "wedding dress" (think something like this in cream- I'm not really the gown type) and J wont be in a tux. I don't want to break any rules, but I don't think dresses in general are barred from the parks!

Maybe you could schedule a dinner at Victoria and Albert's (or California Grill or Narcoossee's if you want to bring the babies, since V&A's doesn't allow children). Or you could see if you can rent out the Grand 1 yacht for a Wishes Cruise.

As far as pics with characters, there's always a Character meal (again, it would have to be one outside the parks), like Chef Mickey's, but that's definitely not fancy. But, I guess you could get dressed up, have breakfast at Chef Mickey's, take pics there, then go do your ceremony somewhere, then have a nice dinner or Grand 1 cruise that night.

One thing, though, you mentioned pictures, so don't forget the cost of a photographer if that's your main reason for doing this.

A character meal would be so much fun, and that's really what we're aiming for; fun instead of fancy. And the cruise is a great idea, I just checked on the prices and we could absolutely finish off our day that way. We don't really have to budget for a photographer, as both J and I are photographers (well, mostly him, I'm his second shooter) and can give our friend a few lessons on one of our cameras.

 

[Bride-to-be]

As much as Disney doesn't allow this - we were told by our butler on the Grand 1 that they have seen very small intimate weddings because its sooo much cheaper than going through disney. Basically it happens. If you bring your minister/officiant with you and keep it short and sweet I really don't see it being a problem. I just wouldn't wear too big of an over the top wedding dress.

The Grand 1 is $450 for a 1 hr fireworks cruise. Thats what I would do. If you wish to pay extra they can serve dinner on the boat. I know the limit for a sit down dinner is 4, but maybe because the twins are so small they would make an exception. You could tell them it was your anniversary and have a cake delivered to the boat and just eat that during the fireworks.

As much as its not allowed - its so private that I think you could pull it off.

Other options might be the Swan and Dolphin or some place like the Celebration Hotel which is in a very romantic spot looking out over a lake - they also have an amazing restaurant that does allow children.

I read about another person on this board who is having a VR at discovery cove. I think she said it was less - but I am really not sure of the cost.

 

[Tink&PirateMama]

Hi- I'm the discovery cove/disney vow renewal . And I just can't wait to post how it all goes, because I think it will be a big help to others who for whatever reason can't swing the escape (or chose not to spend the money that way).

There are GREAT ways to do a orlando wedding on a budget! I've been researching it a ton- please feel free to PM me- I just put up more stuff on my PJ.

SO- here's what I'm doing. What we wanted was a 'happily ever after' romantic but at the same time very focused on family. I'm not sure that we cared about location, as long as it was including disney (which, at our kids age, honestly, they think the entire state of florida is disney, LOL). Anyway, our kids will both be five (not twins, but close- 9 months apart!). My son is adopted, and he is SO wanting to be a part of the wedding, and it feels as important to me to be renewing our vows,as it is to do a family ceremony, to make it clear in his, and our daughters eyes, that we are family- forever. Hence, the other part of our theme, ohana So, we wanted something great for them, great for us. It had to include disney, because of them. We are also planning family medallions as a part of the ceremony. It worked out that we were married in the snow, and the VR is tropical, and I think it's really cool
.
The day:

Pictures at our disney resort, then a breakfast at, Ohana ofcourse Kids will love it!!! And hoping to do a few shots with the castle. Our first time to disney we stayed at the Poly, so it has a lot of memories there for us It just says happiness

Off to discovery cove, where we are doing a ceremony, having a private cabana, cake, and even a dolphin swim later with it bringing us a personalized buoy! Photographers are coming with- and I can only imagine the fantastic photos at the aviary, etc. The photographers I've talked to about it were so excited- I mean, it's like being able to go to a tropical island, but it's just miles away I'm going to change after a couple hours there, into swim suits, and relax the afternoon away with our kids- sounds like heaven!


Next, in the evening, we'll take a rest at our villa, and then get ready again, and we are going on a hallowishes cruise- hoping for the grand 1- with our photographer. I'm planning it to be the 'fanciest' princess moments of the whole event (going to a tiara and hair up, from hair down and with flowers!), and I'm planning dessert and surprises from tinkerbell for the kids. This will probably be the most expensive part of the entire thing, and closer to the photography cost once it all adds up.

I'm happy to go over all the details with you by PM. I called disney several times to confirm everything I am doing is within their rules, and it is. I was very hesitant to do this on the boat or on a balcony 'illegally'. Not saying anything bad at all about those who have- It just felt the wrong way, especially with kids, for me. So what I wanted to do was find a way to have all the disney extras I dreamed of, but with a ceremony I was just as happy with. It was not easy to find it, and I did call DC on a whim, and I was SOOOO happy with them- they are just fantastic! I imagine it is not a popular thing to do, as most people don't want to swim on their wedding day, LOL, but we are really, really happy with it- we had actually started thinking we'd go to the keys for the VR, and this is just, well, perfect And my kids, oh they are at the age that swimming is the best thing in the world, so it really works well for everyone

I'm adding on extras- between the extra photography (I'm so excited about that), and my Grand 1 plans... but you could do this on a strict budget very easily. And there are many more options than this! So PM me! I'm happy to share all the details and other things I've learned!

Also, check out my PJ- http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?t=2079237

Good luck. Don't give up on your dream, there is a way to make it happen I'm sure of it

 

[Ember]

Nothing helpful to add, but I LOVE the coffee filter roses!!!

 

[LittleStinkerbelle]

Just wanted to send that you can have the day you want! I'd to do a VR at Disney but I wish there was something even simpler than an Escape. I don't know if we can justify the cost and there are some elements that I wouldn't want or would want to replace (like using an outside photog).

 

[Bride-to-be]

One other idea - which isn't totally the same. But if you have your heart set on an official disney VR - you could do DCL. If you guys could take a little extra time off from work you can usually get a good deal on some of the 3 and 4 day cruises and the VRs are very simple and not as expensive as WDW escape VRs.

Just an idea. Also I think I read something about kids get to go free on select dates or something. You should check it out!

 

[saveaquarter]

As much as Disney doesn't allow this - we were told by our butler on the Grand 1 that they have seen very small intimate weddings because its sooo much cheaper than going through disney. Basically it happens. If you bring your minister/officiant with you and keep it short and sweet I really don't see it being a problem. I just wouldn't wear too big of an over the top wedding dress.

The Grand 1 is $450 for a 1 hr fireworks cruise. Thats what I would do. If you wish to pay extra they can serve dinner on the boat. I know the limit for a sit down dinner is 4, but maybe because the twins are so small they would make an exception. You could tell them it was your anniversary and have a cake delivered to the boat and just eat that during the fireworks.

As much as its not allowed - its so private that I think you could pull it off.

Other options might be the Swan and Dolphin or some place like the Celebration Hotel which is in a very romantic spot looking out over a lake - they also have an amazing restaurant that does allow children.

I read about another person on this board who is having a VR at discovery cove. I think she said it was less - but I am really not sure of the cost.

Both J and I love the idea of the fireworks cruise, and I think having the cake onboard, if not our whole meal, would be wonderful. Having this so private and simple may work in our favor as far as skirting around the rules goes. I don't really want to be that jerk who decides the rules don't apply, but I think reasonable exceptions ought to be made now and then.

And how awesome is it that the next reply is from the very person you mentioned?

Hi- I'm the discovery cove/disney vow renewal . And I just can't wait to post how it all goes, because I think it will be a big help to others who for whatever reason can't swing the escape (or chose not to spend the money that way).

There are GREAT ways to do a orlando wedding on a budget! I've been researching it a ton- please feel free to PM me- I just put up more stuff on my PJ.

SO- here's what I'm doing. What we wanted was a 'happily ever after' romantic but at the same time very focused on family. I'm not sure that we cared about location, as long as it was including disney (which, at our kids age, honestly, they think the entire state of florida is disney, LOL). Anyway, our kids will both be five (not twins, but close- 9 months apart!). My son is adopted, and he is SO wanting to be a part of the wedding, and it feels as important to me to be renewing our vows,as it is to do a family ceremony, to make it clear in his, and our daughters eyes, that we are family- forever. Hence, the other part of our theme, ohana So, we wanted something great for them, great for us. It had to include disney, because of them. We are also planning family medallions as a part of the ceremony. It worked out that we were married in the snow, and the VR is tropical, and I think it's really cool
.
The day:

Pictures at our disney resort, then a breakfast at, Ohana ofcourse Kids will love it!!! And hoping to do a few shots with the castle. Our first time to disney we stayed at the Poly, so it has a lot of memories there for us It just says happiness

Off to discovery cove, where we are doing a ceremony, having a private cabana, cake, and even a dolphin swim later with it bringing us a personalized buoy! Photographers are coming with- and I can only imagine the fantastic photos at the aviary, etc. The photographers I've talked to about it were so excited- I mean, it's like being able to go to a tropical island, but it's just miles away I'm going to change after a couple hours there, into swim suits, and relax the afternoon away with our kids- sounds like heaven!


Next, in the evening, we'll take a rest at our villa, and then get ready again, and we are going on a hallowishes cruise- hoping for the grand 1- with our photographer. I'm planning it to be the 'fanciest' princess moments of the whole event (going to a tiara and hair up, from hair down and with flowers!), and I'm planning dessert and surprises from tinkerbell for the kids. This will probably be the most expensive part of the entire thing, and closer to the photography cost once it all adds up.

I'm happy to go over all the details with you by PM. I called disney several times to confirm everything I am doing is within their rules, and it is. I was very hesitant to do this on the boat or on a balcony 'illegally'. Not saying anything bad at all about those who have- It just felt the wrong way, especially with kids, for me. So what I wanted to do was find a way to have all the disney extras I dreamed of, but with a ceremony I was just as happy with. It was not easy to find it, and I did call DC on a whim, and I was SOOOO happy with them- they are just fantastic! I imagine it is not a popular thing to do, as most people don't want to swim on their wedding day, LOL, but we are really, really happy with it- we had actually started thinking we'd go to the keys for the VR, and this is just, well, perfect And my kids, oh they are at the age that swimming is the best thing in the world, so it really works well for everyone

I'm adding on extras- between the extra photography (I'm so excited about that), and my Grand 1 plans... but you could do this on a strict budget very easily. And there are many more options than this! So PM me! I'm happy to share all the details and other things I've learned!

Also, check out my PJ- http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?t=2079237

Good luck. Don't give up on your dream, there is a way to make it happen I'm sure of it

That sounds BEAUTIFUL. I'm definitely going to check out your planning journal and probably PM you for a little more info! We've both been longingly eyeing the Discovery Cove admission packages, and we are totally not above swimming on our wedding day.

Nothing helpful to add, but I LOVE the coffee filter roses!!!

You and me both!

One other idea - which isn't totally the same. But if you have your heart set on an official disney VR - you could do DCL. If you guys could take a little extra time off from work you can usually get a good deal on some of the 3 and 4 day cruises and the VRs are very simple and not as expensive as WDW escape VRs.

Just an idea. Also I think I read something about kids get to go free on select dates or something. You should check it out!

I assumed that it'd be far more expensive to go with the cruise, I didn't even think to look into it. Marriage on the high seas sounds wonderful.

 

[lurkyloo]

Cruise weddings/vow renewals are the cheapest way to have a Disney wedding. The shipboard vow renewal ceremony is only $1,500 on top of the price of the cruise, so if you took the cheapest, shortest cruise they offer, you'd be spending less than the price of an Escape vow renewal but getting all the same things *plus* an all-inclusive vacation (well, OK, a mostly inclusive vacation - at least meals are covered! )

 

[PrincessShea]

If your dress is simple, and you don't want to spend a ton of money, and it's just gonna be you, DH, and kids, maybe you can just drive to the beach one day and do it there. The kids will probably have fun and it will be beautiful and memorable...and I'm sure the kids will always remember or enjoy looking at the pictures from the great Disney honeymoon/vacation you had afterwords. I don't think anything will be less just because your ceremony isn't on Disney property.

 

[saveaquarter]

Cruise weddings/vow renewals are the cheapest way to have a Disney wedding. The shipboard vow renewal ceremony is only $1,500 on top of the price of the cruise, so if you took the cheapest, shortest cruise they offer, you'd be spending less than the price of an Escape vow renewal but getting all the same things *plus* an all-inclusive vacation (well, OK, a mostly inclusive vacation - at least meals are covered! )

I NEVER would have thought that'd be the case, but after looking at all the pricing it's true! J brought up something that I didn't even think of, though. He has lupus (no immune system) and, like I said, he's getting his marrow transplant (aplastic anemia, caused by the lupus) when we get back, and risking norovirus and being enclosed in a place with no hospital, no matter how little the risk is, just isn't smart right now.

I'll just have to file that little cruise idea away for a vow renewal down the road.

If your dress is simple, and you don't want to spend a ton of money, and it's just gonna be you, DH, and kids, maybe you can just drive to the beach one day and do it there. The kids will probably have fun and it will be beautiful and memorable...and I'm sure the kids will always remember or enjoy looking at the pictures from the great Disney honeymoon/vacation you had afterwords. I don't think anything will be less just because your ceremony isn't on Disney property.

Well, I'm not sure how much fun two 5 month olds can have at the beach, but we also LIVE on the beach in North Carolina. As beautiful as Florida's beaches are, ours are too, and a beach ceremony would be better on the cost efficiency and etc at home. But you're definitely right about having the photos and memories from our trip, it really wont be any less wonderful if we can't find a way to affordably do the ceremony on Disney property.

 

[PrincessShea]

Well, I'm not sure how much fun two 5 month olds can have at the beach, but we also LIVE on the beach in North Carolina. As beautiful as Florida's beaches are, ours are too, and a beach ceremony would be better on the cost efficiency and etc at home. But you're definitely right about having the photos and memories from our trip, it really wont be any less wonderful if we can't find a way to affordably do the ceremony on Disney property.

If they are only 5 months old then they definitely won't remember it. Maybe it would be better to just save your money and do a Vow Renewal in a couple years when the kids are older and can remember, and DH is better.

 

[lastminutemom]

Depending on the time of year, Disney can be full of germs itself. In the last few months there was a major outbreak of stomach virus. On the Dis, people reported that their whole families came down with it.

I might wait until the kiddos are a little bigger, so they can share in the special memories.

 

[CharacterFan]

The past stomach virus thing lasted from about Thanksgiving until New Years, and some got sick after that.

If it's something important for you to do. I'd suggest going with the Grand 1 idea. That sounds like a great time.

 

[saveaquarter]

If they are only 5 months old then they definitely won't remember it. Maybe it would be better to just save your money and do a Vow Renewal in a couple years when the kids are older and can remember, and DH is better.

This isn't exactly a vow renewal, and as selfish as this is going to sound, it's not for the kids, its for my husband and I. Well, mostly me. I wanted a small, quiet wedding with our friends, and he wanted to be married before the babies were born. We compromised by doing the legal part (somewhat secretly) a few months ago, and promising a ceremony later on. I am sure we'll have many more Disney trips and the chance to share a vow renewal later on when they're old enough to really enjoy the parks and remember the event. I want to have pictures of mom's wedding to show my daughter when she gets older. The picture we took of ourselves in the car after signing our license isn't exactly what I had in mind when I pictured that, yknow?

Depending on the time of year, Disney can be full of germs itself. In the last few months there was a major outbreak of stomach virus. On the Dis, people reported that their whole families came down with it.

I might wait until the kiddos are a little bigger, so they can share in the special memories.

We have all that planned for, and there's a hospital nearby if need be. The worry I mentioned about being on a cruise is not having access to a hospital. We can leave Disney immediately if a problem occurs, on a cruise ship, we're stuck.

Like I said in my reply to the comment before yours, when the kids are bigger, we'll absolutely have something they can share in, and something more members of our family and more of our friends can share in as well. Right now, we want something for us.

 

[Bride-to-be]

The Celebration Hospital is excellent! I have taken DF a few times...

Let us know what you decide to do!

 

[saveaquarter]

Thank you everyone for the advice and ideas! I'll definitely post developments. J has taken the reins and loves the idea, and is calling guest services to find out a bit more information about the ideas we have.

 

[dhay]

How about a Swan/Dolphin wedding?

 

[Miniefan]

How about a Swan/Dolphin wedding?

I agree, there is a stickie with info about this at the top of the weddings forum page, they are cheaper and from most accounts of others who've used them, they are more flexible than DFTW. Characters are still available, and it is on WDW property. I would check them out. You could do your VR there and go to a character meal afterward. If you still wanted to do a fireworks cruise and couldn't swing the price for the grand 1, you can do just a regular fireworks cruise on a pontoon, I know the price is a good bit cheaper and they will allow more people on board. If you still wanted professional pics in the parks, you can get with disney photographics and have their honeymoon photo shoot, you can't necessarily wear "fancy clothes" but definitely nice casual resort wear, or if you wanted to do the fancier clothes, just choose a resort and take the photos there.

I have been trying to plan a WDW VR for about 2 years now and I have considered all possibilities. It is finally going to happen next year. Good luck to you and I hope you get your happy ending.


Kim