Wind Knocked out of my Sails

[Spottedprincess]

Not sure where to post this, but I've been reading and posting on this site since I started training for the Princess hm. I guess I need... I don't know what. Here is what happened. I reconnected with my dad last December after not seeing him for over 30 years ( parents divorced, ulgy). The reunion was like a dream come true. 3 month after I found him he was diagnosed with Leukemia. We had several good visits and talked on the phone often. He was so proud of me for training for the hm. He made me promise I would call him as soon as I crossed the finish line. He was one of my "supporters". Nothing quite replaces the pride a dad has for his daughter. Since we knew he could not travel to Florida to be there when I finished, He asked me to do an event in his home town so he could be there as I crossed the finished line. So I entered one and it was such an unexplainable feeling to see my dad beaming with pride as I finished my race. The heartbreaking news is he died on December 26, 2011. I have not trained at all since. I feel like the wind has been knocked out of me. My training has not been an easy road by any means, several calf and knee issues to overcome, but this time I just don't have it in me. The Princess hm is just 8 weeks away. I'm having serious doubts. I know he would want me to do it. Normally I'm the type that ,when knocked down keeps getting up. This is so different. Any words of wisdom?

 

[AliceSpark]

I cannot imagine how tough this must be for you but I think just by posting this you know you will feel so much better, happier, prouder and more accomplished by trying to finish your dream. Remember you are supported by everyone.
Martha

 

[Disfan11]

There was a reason that you two reconnected after all these years. And he wanted to you do this event. I think you should stick with it for his memory!
You still have time to pick back up on your training. Use his proud face and words as your new mantra for finishing in his honor!
YOU CAN DO IT!
And you will have all of us other princesses there to support you!

 

[EddieMccoy2]

Do it for you and for him. He will still see you cross that line. Just keep that thought as you train. You have plenty of time to train for this race and finish it. It's no accident that he was inspiring you, and he still can.

Sorry for your loss. Thoughts and prayers.

 

[Spottedprincess]

Thank you all very much. I feel your support.

 

[Rose&Mike]

I am so sorry! Remember that even if you are struggling to train, that exercise is such a good way to help one cope with difficult situations. There was an article in runner's world recently about running for someone else--I'll see if I can find it and post a link.

ETA...ok, I looked for the article online, but couldn't find it. The January issue had a letter to the editor about it--it was about running a memorial race for a fallen state trooper. While, I realize this is for your Dad, the point would be the same. Meaning can be drawn from doing something for someone else or in honor of someone else. Your Dad seemed to get joy out of your running, and you would be honoring his memory by running the race with him in your thoughts.

Hugs to you.

 

[momof2minnies]

I am so sorry-you will feel him there.If you don't do it the regret may be tough. Just go out and do the best you can-he will be proiud.

Linda

 

[pixeemom]

I am so sorry for your loss....I also agree with everyone....take a little time to get yourself together and try and go back out there, you can do it

 

[mamacate]

I'm so sorry for your loss, but so glad you had the time with him. I'd suggest you hang in there. You have time to train, and if there's anything your time with your Dad proves, it's that there are second chances. I'm betting he would want you to try, but he would be proud of you whether you finish or not, just for getting out there. Maybe your goal is to START the race in his name, and to finish it SOMEDAY. That might be 10 years from now. You showed him that it's never too late, and he knows that.

Remember the WISH motto: Dead Last Finish is greater than Did Not Finish, which greatly trumps Did Not Start (DLF>DNF>>DNS!).

Cate

 

[Spottedprincess]

Thank you all so much. I do believe in living with as few regrets as I can, that is one reason I searched for my dad. It is true I would regret it if I didn't try this year. In fact the race I did in his home town, I suffered a calf injury and it took me 1 hr 15 min to do a 5k. Ugh !! He didn't care. He was so proud I was in the event. I still can picture his face as I rounded the corner at the finish. Wow! That's powerful. Thanks again for all the thoughts and prayers.

 

[pixeemom]

Thank you all so much. I do believe in living with as few regrets as I can, that is one reason I searched for my dad. It is true I would regret it if I didn't try this year. In fact the race I did in his home town, I suffered a calf injury and it took me 1 hr 15 min to do a 5k. Ugh !! He didn't care. He was so proud I was in the event. I still can picture his face as I rounded the corner at the finish. Wow! That's powerful. Thanks again for all the thoughts and prayers.

AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[queen mimi]

If there is one event that is the best for supporting women, it is the Princess Half Marathon. All those women coming together is so powerful. We are all there for each other. Just remember that. It will make it a little easier. When you come around the corner and see Cinderella's castle for the first time as you race up Main Street, you'll think of your dad and how happy he would be. You need to do this race for yourself and your dad.

 

[KateB]

You are definitely in my thoughts and prayers. I say GO FOR IT!!! Your dad will be with you then entire 13.1 miles and that is so powerful! He might not be there physically but he will be in your heart and that will help you do it!

 

[DisneyRunnerGirl]

Keep up with your training and run this one for your dad. I did the Half today for mine. He passed away on Dec 22, 2011, so I understand how raw you feel emotionally right now.

The running will help you clear your mind, give you purpose and allow you private time to pull that picture of him at your finish line into your head.

I'm sure that there are proud parent gatherings in heaven where they hang out to watch us just as they did here. I know my dad is there with his ever present camera.

 

[LadyDooley]

If I can give you my heart felt prayers and pixie dust. My heart grieves for your loss!! I lost my dad many years ago, in fact he was a runner and never got to see me run at all.

If I can agree with others here and say DO IT!!
I hope to meet you there and give you hugs.

 

[Spottedprincess]

All of this support and wonderful wisdom has been very helpful and deeply appreciated. This whole grieving a loss process really stinks. I'm starting to feel like I want to complete "my" goal. Somewhere doing the hm went from a personal goal, that is was determined to accomplish, to doing it for my dad. Although that's not a bad thing in itself, I'm working on remembering the reason I started this journey on June 1, 2010. Having my dad be proud of me for setting this goal is a bonus, not the reason I started. I have a running shirt I had made for the hm that lists my journey on the back and it has the event I did for my dad listed. It is one, of many accomplishments during this last year and 8 months. I truly do feel all of the support from all of you that replied. Hopefully I will be able to meet some of you and thank you in person.

 

[finishline413]

All of this support and wonderful wisdom has been very helpful and deeply appreciated. This whole grieving a loss process really stinks. I'm starting to feel like I want to complete "my" goal. Somewhere doing the hm went from a personal goal, that is was determined to accomplish, to doing it for my dad. Although that's not a bad thing in itself, I'm working on remembering the reason I started this journey on June 1, 2010. Having my dad be proud of me for setting this goal is a bonus, not the reason I started. I have a running shirt I had made for the hm that lists my journey on the back and it has the event I did for my dad listed. It is one, of many accomplishments during this last year and 8 months. I truly do feel all of the support from all of you that replied. Hopefully I will be able to meet some of you and thank you in person.

Spottedpincess: I will look forward to seeing you in a few short weeks! I can't wait to see your shirt, I am sure it is AWESOME! You can do this! My dad passed away almost four years ago and each race I run I think of him often.

 

[saysay]

Thank you all so much. I do believe in living with as few regrets as I can, that is one reason I searched for my dad. It is true I would regret it if I didn't try this year. In fact the race I did in his home town, I suffered a calf injury and it took me 1 hr 15 min to do a 5k. Ugh !! He didn't care. He was so proud I was in the event. I still can picture his face as I rounded the corner at the finish. Wow! That's powerful. Thanks again for all the thoughts and prayers.

Oh my......what a wonderful memory of your dad. Hugs to you. YOu still have some time to train....just take it easy. Peace to you.

 

[UGAFan0829]

I honestly can't imagine what you're going through, but I do hope that you're able to dig down deep and find the courage and strength to get through this, and to cross that finish line for your Dad.

I actually ran the Princess with a friend last year who was runinng for her father who had recently passed away very unexpectedly. If I can remember correctly, one of the last conversations she had with him was regarding her signing up for the race. Turns out, she ended up catching a bad cold the weekend of the race and had a tough time with congestion and being able to breathe. There were several times during the race that she told me to run ahead, but I was so afraid that if I left her she wouldn't finish and would regret it. I stuck with her the whole time, and I know there were times that she really wanted to choke me because I was doing the best I could to encourage her, but at times I think it was frustrating for her. Either way, in the end, we crossed the finish line together and she was able to wear her medal proudly, in memory of her Dad.

You can do it--I know you can! I wish I was running the Princess this year because I would love to meet you in person and give you a huge hug!