Will you pay for your DD's wedding?

[Mimi Q]

My DH and I fully expect to pay for both our DD's weddings. My 3 year old is in her wedding gown right now.

 

[C.Ann]

DD married an only child and her mother-in-law had some very definite ideas about certain things she wanted for her son - so - they paid half, we paid half and everyone lived happily ever after...

 

[Kallison]

Yes, we will pay for DD's wedding and probably offer to pay for 1/2 of our two sons, as long as it is not too far over the top.

 

[Cavatappi]

Both my DD and DS have savings accounts I started for their weddings.
If they choose not to use it for that then my DH and I are going to have one really great year of vacations and no work LOL
Really We have told both of them that the money is thiers and they shoudl use it on what they want . If they dont want to have huge wedding then they have it for a nice down on a house .

 

[Patty3]

Yes, we will definitely pay for our DD's wedding. We even paid a portion of our son's wedding.

 

[Catzeyes]

My DH's daughter got married 3 months before us. We were engaged first so it kind of came as a shock that they wanted their wedding before ours with only 5 months notice. We gave her a check for $7000 to help with the expenses.

 

[WDWAurora]

It is not a priority to pay for dd's wedding. We want to pay for her college education - (still working on that one!)
I have always told her: College first, then build her career, then marriage, then children (if that is what she wants) Don't change that order though!

Dh and I paid for our own wedding - and that was totally fine with us! We did not expect our parents to pay for our wedding at all. If we are making the adult choice to get married we can be adults and pay for it

Although - as someone else mentioned - I may pay for pictures or flowers as a gift.

I understand the goal of that order, but it isn't always practical. I met the man of my dreams during my first semester of college, we started dating at the beginning of our second semester. We are both college graduates and I started graduate school last August. We got engaged in December (it couldn't happen earlier due to some external problems) and plan to get married in August. We waited 4 years to get engaged and we'll be a little over 8 months between that and our marriage. Why should I have to wait the additional year to finish my degree, then a few years to start working and establish myself when we're ready to get married now? I guess it's a good idea, but not always practical is what I'm trying to say...

 

[Tiggeroo]

I will do what I can.Starting next year I will have 3 in college. Then dd is planning on either med or grad school. I"m paying car insurance for all three. I have told her that the only way I will be able to help is if she gets married after everybody is out of college. If she does thene we will cover most of a modest wedding.
We will have a bit of a problem though. Our family has shrunk considerably in size over the past 10 years. The last cousin who got married only had 30 from our side who attended and that was with inviting every cousin. If my dd were to marry her current bf he comes from a big italian family. First they would probably have over 100 guests judging by his sister's wedding. Also, they would consider our idea of a modest wedding very much not what they would like. I can see some issues arising out of this.

 

[DrCavin]

I guess indirectly I will pay for my DD's wedding, seeing how I tell her all the time that I have to be dead before she is allowed to date

 

[kasar]

As long as we have the money, sure. It's our gift to them.

 

[totalia]

My first wedding wasn't paid for by my parents. Neither will my second. We are paying for it ourselves.

 

[kasar]

I should add to my previous post that only ONE wedding per DD! If there's a second, they're on their own....

 

[eeyore0062]

As my parents did, we will give her a budget to work within, and if she goes over it, then she will need to pay---if she wants a Disney wedding, she will likely be paying a lot more. We will not, however pay for the honeymoon (the couples responsibilty) or the rehearsal dinner (the grooms parents responsibility).

 

[totalia]

I should add that, though they are not paying for my wedding, my family has agreed to pay for my sisters travel and lodging.

This is because we are getting married in another country. She is my MOH and I couldn't imagine getting married without her presence. Yet I'm not able to pay for her trip myself and my sister can barely afford to buy groceries every month at the moment.

So my family is paying her way.

 

[Amberle3]

I'm not sure how I feel about it. DFi and I are paying for our own wedding. One of the reasons we decided not to take any monetary help from our parents is because, quite frankly we didn't want them telling us what to do with the wedding. Not that MY mother would do that - actually she's very hands-off. But once people are paying for something they feel they're entitled to a say in what happens.

Wo know someone who's wedding has snowballed to 700 guests. Apparently the groom's mother is basically planning everything, I'm assuming with at least some input from the bride's mother. We've been told the dinner is $70 a person. That's almost $50,000 before taxes. I'm sure if the bride and groom were paying for it themselves it wouldn't have gotten anywhere close to this.

 

[minkydog]

Absolutely not! We plan to pay for our future children's college educations (and maybe grad. school, depending on how they budget their education funds), but no way would we pay for a wedding! I've seen soooo many of my friends waste either their parents' or their own $$$ on a wedding, only to end up crying poor for years afterwards. It's just not worth it in either DH's or my opinion. If our child is old enough to get married, they're old enough to pay for the wedding that they desire. JMHO.

I feel exactly the same way, only we don't pay for college,either.The best education I got was working my way through school--my DH & I each have two degrees. Our parents were very poor, so there was no point to asking.
We live in Georgia where the state will pay your tuition for 4 years, as long a you maintain your 3.0 from HS on. Huh? Kids, don't look to me to pay your way--earn it!

I also believe that if a couple is old enough to get married, they are old enough to pay for it. We did; of course, it's only lasted 24 years.

My dad left me some money when he died and a small portion of that will go into special accounts for each kid. If they want to spend it on a home, a wedding, or fund their retirement account, fine. It'll be their little nest egg. But it will not go toward buying a cool car, trips to Cancun, beer, or any other pea-brain scheme they might come up with.

Cathy--got a big butt and a lot of common sense

 

[danacara]

I'm thinking about my mom now ... and I hypothesize that if she one day offers to pay for part of my wedding, and I turn her down, she might actually feel hurt, underappreciated, excluded. Anyone have that experience?

 

[pirateofthecarolinas]

We plan on paying for our DD8's wedding. She will have a budget. We will also pay whatever the groom's parents are expected to provide for our 2 sons.

Lori

 

[C.Ann]

I'm thinking about my mom now ... and I hypothesize that if she one day offers to pay for part of my wedding, and I turn her down, she might actually feel hurt, underappreciated, excluded. Anyone have that experience?

--------------------------------

As a Mom of a now-married DD, I think I would have felt a bit of all you mentioned above.. It's one of the great joys of being a Mom - helping to plan a wedding.. And I do mean helping - not running the show!

 

[aprilgail2]

Nope....I am going to pay for her college and if she has any sense she will get a good career going prior to getting married and then they can pay for a big wedding on their own....if she chooses to get married before getting a good job then they can pay for their own smaller wedding...at any rate I am not paying for it. My friends paid for their daughters big wedding, close to 40,000 they spent on it and 3 years later they are divorced....I think its insane to spend that much on a wedding but if my daughter wants a wedding like that then its up to her to fund it.