Will I Survive Middle School?

[Karista]

I'm sorry if this issue has been beaten to death but I haven't been here in quite a few months and I would like some "fresh" information.

Is it possible to get through the middle school years and keep your sanity? My daughter is 12 and it seems like all of the girls in her class are all the biggest snots I have ever seen in my life. The worst part is, the moms are starting to get into it and bicker - one of my best friends just sent me a nasty e-mail because apparently her daughter wears a halo and mine has devil horns - who knows.

Are there any parents out there that have "been there, done that" and lived to tell about it? Is there any good advice how to deal with these over-involved moms? I have two older boys that have been a piece of cake to deal with compared to this. I have no angel but I'm thinking that she needs to deal with this on her own, not with my interference. What's the solution?

 

[punkin]

I wish I could help you, but I am currently down in the trenches myself (DD13) and will be there for a good long while yet (DD7). Just keep the lines of communication open and know that even if she hates you today, she will love you tomorrow.

The reason babies are so cute is so we remember that and don't kill them in their teen years.

Just one piece of advice: never get involved in petty squables with other parents. The kids will make up and be friends again, but you and the other parent will harbor resentments forever.

 

[Sandy V.]

Just one piece of advice: never get involved in petty squables with other parents. The kids will make up and be friends again, but you and the other parent will harbor resentments forever.

That is a great piece of advice - it is SO true!! Sometimes it's hard to keep your mouth shut and walk away, but it does serve everyone well in the long run.

I feel your pain. DD is 18 now and a senior, but middle school was awful. You're right; many of those little girls are just snots. Thankfully, it got MUCH better in high school.

 

[Miss Jasmine]

Middle school is the absolute worst...so after this it is all up hill. Hang in there! You will get through with tears, hurt feelings, etc., but you will get through. Hugs, kisses and special daughter days can help a lot.

 

[Christine]

Yes, you will live through it only to be faced with a new set of problems for high school!!!

My DD was in a small private school for middle school and that spared me *some* of the middle school crap, but in other ways it was worse because the group was so small and involved.

I just stayed out of everything, stayed away from *most* parents and tried to find people parents that were more like myself. There were times that I really wanted to strangle some of the girls in DD's class and some of the things they did but I either just came here and "vented" or told my coworkers.

 

[ckay87]

I don't have a daughter, so I can only imagine the garbage you're having to deal with. Bless you - I wouldn't have the self-control to deal with those petty squabbles.

But can we make this the "official" Middle School support thread?? I sure could use it.

 

[LBAK]

Absolutely don't get involved with the girls squabbles! That can kill you DD That didn't bother me as much as my DD's attitude. Good grief she was a horror. She turned human again sometime in high school. According to girls in middle school parents are embarrassing, dumb, don't know anything, so out there, etc. You'll survive although it won't necessarily be easy! Good luck.

 

[minkydog]

I wish I could help you, but I am currently down in the trenches myself (DD13) and will be there for a good long while yet (DD7). Just keep the lines of communication open and know that even if she hates you today, she will love you tomorrow.

The reason babies are so cute is so we remember that and don't kill them in their teen years.

Just one piece of advice: never get involved in petty squables with other parents. The kids will make up and be friends again, but you and the other parent will harbor resentments forever.

Everything you said, and then some I am also in the trenches. Thank goodness we only have one more year(DD is almost 13) So far we're doing pretty good, but the eye-rolling and the significant sighs Not to mention the mood swings Who knew my precious baby girl could be such a

 

[sandramaac]

Get yourself two books

Queen Bee's and Wannabe's and Odd Girl Out. They really are great books in discussing the mystique of today's middle school aged girls. it

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Are there any parents out there that have "been there, done that" and lived to tell about it? Is there any good advice how to deal with these over-involved moms? I have two older boys that have been a piece of cake to deal with compared to this. I have no angel but I'm thinking that she needs to deal with this on her own, not with my interference. What's the solution?

My dd is a Freshman in High School.

To answer your question, it depends on the issue.
This is when you set up rules, boundaries and dialogues with her.
This is your critical time to prepare your child to grow up.
Give lots of {HUGS}...even if you don't want to.

 

[DisnyMama]

We experienced alot of issues in middle school. The up-side is that it does get better when they get to high school. For some reason the maturity level of the older kids rubs off on the younger ones but my DS is so much more comfortable in high school. Not everyone is perfect but it is definately a change for the better.

 

[Karista]

Thanks for the words of encouragement. My daughter isn't so much the issue as it is some of her friends - they definitely think they're 16 and the moms support it. It doesn't help that it is a small private school and there are a whole whopping 8 girls in the class - so when one does something nasty or "cool" the rest of the ducks want to follow suit. Sigh. I will keep chanting "This will pass, this will pass, this will pass". Hahaha!!

 

[daisyduck123]

I feel for you. That's awful that you guys are having a rough time.

My DD11 is in the 7th grade & so far things have gone smoothly...only 1 year left of middle school. I'm not looking forward to high school at all though.

 

[Puffy2]

Only 8 and you know these moms? Why not have them all over for a lunch and discuss your concerns (not personalities, but issues in general that all middle schoolers face). If you are dealing with real adults this might actually help (if some of the other mom's are still stuck in middle school themselves...it might not).

 

[AC7179]

big crisis in our house tonight because my dd didn't get a new outfit to go to a church lockout (that already costs 30 dollars) tomorrow. She's cruisin on not being able to go at all. She says that all her clothes are "boy clothes." Oh yeah, that's cause I buy all her clothes in the MEN'S SECTION. Whatever........

 

[RitaZ.]

Just one piece of advice: never get involved in petty squables with other parents.

I agree.

You'll survive!

 

[bobcat]

I teach MS and my own DD is 13. I thought I was prepared for her MS years. NOT! It's definately a Jeckle and Hyde existence. I try to just grit my teeth and get through it.

 

[Patricia]

I teach 8th grade and have two daughters, 20 and 16. It is not always easy, but you will survive. The advice previously given, to stay out as much as possible, especially with the other parents is excellent.It is never a good idea to get involved and the girls will eventually work it out and you will be left with many bad feelings that adults will not get over. Every single year I watch adult friendships crumble into ugly masses over kid issues. Also, try to remember those feelings you had when you were a young teen. Those issues may seem trivial to us, now that we are post 21, but to the kids, these issues are their lives. Perception is everything for an adolescent. There is a lot of fun in these years too, you just have to maintain a sense of humor and learn to listen for the cues that tell you when to get involved and when to smile and say nothing, which for me is always tough. I'll tell you one thing, I would go back to those years in a minute, they are better than sending my daughter to college. Enjoy them!

 

[HOGFAN]

not restricted to girls only. ds is almost 13 and I am about ready to kill him(kidding) moody, backtalk, schoolwork not done. we went thru this with dd 5 years ago, so I know it gets better but until then

 

[HonestAbe]

Nope. The attrition rate for parents of middle school children is approximately 99.6% so the odds are against you.

Make sure your life insurance is paid up.