Wife not interested in Disney Cruise but we all want to go (with her! :) )

[jlwhitney]

We just booked the cruise less than 3 weeks ago

We booked over a year ago on the first day for platinum booking

 

[ofcabbagesandkings]

My DH hated the idea of taking a Disney Cruise. He hates Disney, he hates the idea of being stuck on a ship with crowds of tourists, he hates waiting in lines. He loved our Disney Cruise, even if he'll be loathe to admit it. We went to Alaska, and you can't really see the Inside Passage the same way unless you're on a ship. We got a verandah room so he could go out there whenever he wanted peace and quiet. We booked our excursions independently and wound up with a few that were private, including our rental of a green jeep in the yukon and a whale watch tour in Juneau that had no other guests on the boat. We requested and received a private table for 4 in the MDRs, and enjoyed date nights where we dropped the kids in the club/nursery and went to see a movie or dinner at Palo. In the end, DH ultimately said he prefers sailing on DCL to going to WDW! He skipped our WDW trip this past Christmas but will be joining us on our upcoming DCL to Bermuda.

 

[dprincessmom]

Seems there are 3 camps to your question so far: the leave her and take the kids; try and talk her into it or don't try and talk her into it and don't go as a family.

My take is talk to her 1. would she be hurt if the family took a vacation without her? use that answer as a talking point. I love all things Disney and have found a new love of cruising. My late husband tolerated Disney and would go to the parks with us mainly for my daughter's sake and very limited time in parks.

We compromised and did trips with him at the resort with us, but not going into the parks; making certain we met for a meal and once stayed in a theme park view room so we could enjoy the fireworks as a family. He would go explore the the little towns near WDW.

The next trip we would plan an entire trip with things that interested him, with little nods to our interests -- it worked for us. My DD and I took our first cruise the year after my husband died, but we were in the early planning stages of a cruise when he got sick - just me and DD.

If she is ok with the family taking the trip without her, book early and be excited. She may change her mind when she sees how excited the rest of the family is and join you. She may not and that's ok to - I get that cruising isn't for everyone but it shouldn't stop you or the kids from trying it.

 

[cedricandsophie]

If you really want to go with the kids then go without her. Tell her to go a trip with girlfriends and you can enjoy the cruise without worrying about someone else being happy or not. My husband has been to Mexico City and Cuba alone because I wasn’t interested. My daughter and I go to a dude ranch every summer for a week and he never comes because it’s not his thing. We enjoy cruising and DW together along with many other vacations.
As for getting sick I seem to be prone to stomach viruses. I’ve been sick on several cruises as well as at DW. There’s no way you’re going to fall off the ship. And there are treatments for sea sickness. If someone is scared or anxious about something, rational or not, it’s hard to change them. ThAts why I’m a strong advocate for a husband and wife enjoying their individual time away from each other enjoying what they love and not forcing it on the other.

 

[Geomom]

Lots of good ideas on this thread.

As far as her worries of stomach viruses--I'd avoid cruising from Jan-April--that seems to be the prime season for noro and the regular flu. Disney does a great job with cleaning--you will constantly see people wiping down the handrails, cleaning the public bathrooms, and just general upkeep on the ship.

Crowds: It is much less crowded than Disney World. The ship only holds so many people. You may want to start on one of the smaller ships--Disney Magic/Wonder that hold a max of 2700 people vs. the 4000 that the Dream/Fantasy can hold. You can easily avoid crowds--it's just during various events held in the atrium, deck parties, etc. If one area is crowded, just walk to another part of the ship. And if you don't like the crowds in the Cabanas buffet--there is an MDR open for breakfast/lunch as well as all the other pool deck 'quick service' type places. (All included in the cost of your cruise.)

Falling overboard--as everyone says, you don't 'fall' overboard. But if this is one of her worries, I would suggest an oceanview cabin over a verandah--then she won't worry about the kids when they're in the room.
To show the height of the railings: here is a pic of DH (5'10") on the deck 4 promenade of the Disney Magic:


Itinerary: is there anywhere your wife would like to visit? Any ports that would draw her to go on a cruise? We never really thought we'd go on a cruise, maybe Alaska someday as that's the only way to see the inside passage and best way to see glaciers--so that ended up being our first. We were cruising for the ports and the Disney factor is what actually got us on the ship! Our second cruise was the Baltic Sea one--another one for the ports. Cruising is a great way to go to multiple places with only unpacking once--especially when you're travelling with kids!

 

[Sunshine2U]

Welcome - you've come to the right place! Cruises can be surprisingly non-crowded - especially if you have a veranda cabin. Let's look at a 4-day cruise. This can vary by day but you'll get the idea.
Day 1 - arrive at the port 12:30 or later. Crowds in the terminal have dispersed and a relatively short wait to board. Cabins ready at 1:00 so go there when you board and put down your carry-ons (less burden feels less crowded). If the main dining room is crowded or unavailable, there will be a open table somewhere on one of the decks near the pools. The space immediately next to the pools will be crowded but go up one deck and you'll be fine. Park there and get food from the quick service windows. Does she enjoy reading, knitting, daydreaming? She can relax at your claimed space while you and the kids check out the nearby pool and deliver food and beverages to mama. The mandatory lifeboat drill must be suffered - it will be crowded and make your wife want to leave. Don't let her. Go back to the upper decks for sailawave party. The kids can venture closer while y'all watch the port disappear. Dinner is like any restaurant and a good experience. Plan it so that you don't arrive early and have to wait in line; but do be there within 5 minutes or so. I don't feel like being at a show is a crowded experience. Not sure where your DW draws the line. Arrive just before showtime. You'll be back further but you will not have waited in the crowded pre-show lobby and you'll be where you can scoot out before the crowds leave.
Day 2 - Nassau - stay on the ship or take a private transfer to Blue Lagoon. I can't speak to crowds there but it seems like the best option. I'll add that if your kids like the clubs you can have awesome almost-alone time at the adult pools and at in the adults-only clubs at night. This holds true throughout the cruise. It's really sad how under-utilized those clubs are.
Day 3 - Castaway Cay - one of the best arguments in favor of the smaller, classic ships is this IMO - Castaway Cay is much, much less crowded with the Wonder/Magic. I think you'd be satisfied with the beach for any of the ships. If not, you can always check things out then go back to the virtually empty ship. It's a short walk or tram ride away.
Day 4 - At Sea - this is most crowded day on the ship. But at this point you've found the quiet spaces and you have the veranda to retreat to. You can order room service or grab a tray from the buffet and bring it back to the stateroom. You can go to a movie. The wrap around deck on 4 or 5 always has empty loungers.

Photos and vlogs can't really show how OPEN the various places on the ship feel. If you avoid areas where events are occurring you can experience some spaces as one of the only people there.

Magic happens on the Disney ships - especially when you have young children. It's worth a serious look and conversation with your wife to explore the possibility. How old are your children and what are their interests?

 

[BLTdad]

Thanks for all the replies! Appreciate all the opinions and thoughts.

 

[DisBNewB]

Photos and vlogs can't really show how OPEN the various places on the ship feel. If you avoid areas where events are occurring you can experience some spaces as one of the only people there.

I concur with this wholeheartedly, and here - you're going to get some pictures because I went back to look at mine and see if there were any worth sharing as examples, and the answer was not many, but they make me happy so I'm going to share them anyway. These were on the Magic.



Up on Deck 10 - this was just prior to the Sail Awave party, but it was usually a great place to find open space.



Sail Awave party - we watched it from Deck 4, rather than trying to go down into the masses. There were still people up there, but it wasn't swamped, and there are a few chairs behind where everybody likes to stand along the railing, if you can snag one in time.



Just random picture of my kiddo in the hallway outside of Lumiere's, but most of the time, the hallways were like this, totally empty.



Castaway Key, 1:45 according to the time stamp on my phone. Again - this was on one of the older ships, so fewer people on the island than with the newer ones, but it was one of the least crowded trips I've ever had to any beach.

Hope those help - or at least bring you a smile.

(Edited to edit out my kiddo's face, and to add that I promise these aren't like those pictures at WDW where you can maneuver it so that it looks like it's empty, but there are actually huge crowds behind you. )

 

[Miffy]

Actually, no. If you get sick onboard, to the point that you can't continue the cruise, you would be debarked and you can go home.

Well, a couple of things. First, who would decide that I couldn't continue? Me? DCL? And, next, how do they debark someone out in the middle of the ocean somewhere? That sounds expensive or at least something one would have to wait and wait for, like until the rescue boat (is there such a thing) appeared.

Sorry, that didn't give me any reassurance. I absolutely do NOT want to be trapped on a cruise ship. I realize that nothing could go wrong and that it usually doesn't. But it just doesn't appeal to me at all. I would only even think about considering going on a long journey by ship if that were absolutely the only way to get somewhere I had an incredibly strong desire to visit.

But this is just me. I mean, going to WDW doesn't appeal to some people and I get it. Going on a cruise doesn't appeal to me at all.

Edited to insert paragraphs that I thought were there but weren't!

 

[monkeydawn]

Well, a couple of things. First, who would decide that I couldn't continue? Me? DCL? And, next, how do they debark someone out in the middle of the ocean somewhere? That sounds expensive or at least something one would have to wait and wait for, like until the rescue boat (is there such a thing) appeared.

Sorry, that didn't give me any reassurance. I absolutely do NOT want to be trapped on a cruise ship. I realize that nothing could go wrong and that it usually doesn't. But it just doesn't appeal to me at all. I would only even think about considering going on a long journey by ship if that were absolutely the only way to get somewhere I had an incredibly strong desire to visit.

But this is just me. I mean, going to WDW doesn't appeal to some people and I get it. Going on a cruise doesn't appeal to me at all.

Edited to insert paragraphs that I thought were there but weren't!

I would guess in this case that it would be DCL deciding you cannot continue. Now if someone gets sick enough to be debarked in the middle of a sea day there are options. The most likely option is diverting to the nearest land mass where the ship is able to park. Although it's not unheard of to have a helicopter take off a passenger if that's the best option. Note, this will not be cheap.

Not that I'm trying to persuade you to go but if you are in very dire straights there are options. Sometimes this option might be faster than a land "rescue". I had a neighbor get very ill during a really bad snowstorm. The time from calling an ambulance to arriving at the hospital was almost 4 hours. This was not in a remote area. Again, not trying to persuade you just saying that nothing is ever really guaranteed. LOL

 

[Miffy]

I would guess in this case that it would be DCL deciding you cannot continue. Now if someone gets sick enough to be debarked in the middle of a sea day there are options. The most likely option is diverting to the nearest land mass where the ship is able to park. Although it's not unheard of to have a helicopter take off a passenger if that's the best option. Note, this will not be cheap.

Not that I'm trying to persuade you to go but if you are in very dire straights there are options. Sometimes this option might be faster than a land "rescue". I had a neighbor get very ill during a really bad snowstorm. The time from calling an ambulance to arriving at the hospital was almost 4 hours. This was not in a remote area. Again, not trying to persuade you just saying that nothing is ever really guaranteed. LOL

BTW, I have no relationship at all to the OP. I feel like people are responding to my posts as though I'm the OP's DW. I have no idea who they are.

Yes, I think all your points are valid. However, I'm just someone who has zero desire to cruise, having nothing at all to do with things I think could possibly go wrong. Those are just additional reasons why I don't want to go. But cruising holds no appeal for me. And I'm a HUGE Disney fan, so it's not like I don't want to do something because it's Disney-ish. Can you imagine for a second that you've dragged someone on a vacation to a remote spot, not necessarily a cruise, that they didn't want to go to and they hate it there and there's really no reasonable way for them to get home?

BTW, you also couldn't convince me to go on a camping trip. Uh-uh. I'm not going.

Fortunately for me, my DH also has no desire to go on a cruise.

 

[monkeydawn]

BTW, I have no relationship at all to the OP. I feel like people are responding to my posts as though I'm the OP's DW. I have no idea who they are.

Yes, I think all your points are valid. However, I'm just someone who has zero desire to cruise, having nothing at all to do with things I think could possibly go wrong. Those are just additional reasons why I don't want to go. But cruising holds no appeal for me. And I'm a HUGE Disney fan, so it's not like I don't want to do something because it's Disney-ish. Can you imagine for a second that you've dragged someone on a vacation to a remote spot, not necessarily a cruise, that they didn't want to go to and they hate it there and there's really no reasonable way for them to get home?

BTW, you also couldn't convince me to go on a camping trip. Uh-uh. I'm not going.

Fortunately for me, my DH also has no desire to go on a cruise.

Sounds like you are well matched.

I didnt think you were the OP's wife. I really hope she never finds out about this thread because nothing would make me dig my heels in faster than to find out my husband went to a bunch of random strangers about advice for our relationship. LOL

I just wanted to correct/ add info to a couple of the things you were saying in case there was someone out there reading and taking what was being said at face value without additional research.

As the main vacation planner for the family and even extended friend group (although I thankfully get to share that role with someone) I *do* understand the pressures of trying to make sure everyone is having fun. Thankfully everyone in the group is usually up for anything and they all tend to go with the flow. In any case, after I made my arguments for why a particular type of vacation is worth trying I would let the other person take the lead and let me know if it's maybe something that they are warming up to.

 

[braysmommy]

We love DCL but for longer cruises. There is a much different vibe on a 14 night compared to a 3 night. Crowds are much smaller, less kids, shorter lines ect. Our first ever on DCL was 14 night Transatlantic and we are now looking forward to Hawaii in May.

 

[Miffy]

Wow. Just saw this: https://www.disboards.com/threads/over-3-500-people-quarantined-on-diamond-princess-cruise.3790295/

 

[monkeydawn]

Wow. Just saw this: https://www.disboards.com/threads/over-3-500-people-quarantined-on-diamond-princess-cruise.3790295/

Yup. And people are also being quarantined coming back from land vacations from certain areas. No idea what those quarantines are like but I'm guessing that a cruise quarantine might be a little better. Not that I really want to be quarantined anywhere, ever.

 

[Disneyfamforsure]

It is hard for me to relate to not wanting to try something with my family, especially if they really wanted to go. Family time goes really fast and the kids will be grown and out of the house before we know it. We are always telling the kids - How can you say you don't like it if you don't try it? Any vacation can be fun, or horrible, depending on your attitude.