Why would they do this--sports team related?

[mjkacmom]

Here's an interesting story about when family & sports intertwine.

Javier Hernandez is playing for the Mexican National Soccer Team in the World Cup. His father, also Javier Hernandez, is the head coach of the Reserve Team for one of the most popular and storied Professional Soccer Teams in all of Mexico, Chivas.

Apparently Chivas officials were not going to let the Dad take time off to go see his son play in the World Cup. So, guess what he did? He quit his position. Is he a quitter?

Seems like his commitment to his family outweighed his commitment to his job/team. I don't know where everyone falls on this one, since it seems to combine both familial and sports commitments, but it is a nice story.

Interestingly enough, the Mexican team is already mired in a family dispute. One of their young stars is threatening to quit the squad completely in order to support his brother, who was left off of the final squad.

Well, how much time? DH has worked for the same financial services company for almost 20 years, and gets about 6 weeks of vacation, plus unlimited sick days (it's been years since he's taken one). If he told them he needed a few weeks off this summer to watch his son play soccer, they'd say no way! He just can't be gone for blocks of time, and the time he does take, has to be scheduled in advance. Who is going to take over for the coach? How many vacation days is he entitled?

Now, if he asked for time off to spend with his dying spouse, that might be different. I "think" DH's company would allow him to sit here with hospice, but who knows.

 

[golfgal]

Well, the JV girl shot 107 today. DD qualified for state as an individual, their team took 3rd overall with 4 teams within 4 strokes of each other to start the day missed 2nd by 6 strokes.

 

[auntie]

....and life as we know it went on.

 

[OceanAnnie]

Well, the JV girl shot 107 today. DD qualified for state as an individual, their team took 3rd overall with 4 teams within 4 strokes of each other to start the day missed 2nd by 6 strokes.

Thank you for the update. I'm glad your DD qualified for state. Sounds like tight scores.

 

[cats mom]

Well, the JV girl shot 107 today. DD qualified for state as an individual, their team took 3rd overall with 4 teams within 4 strokes of each other to start the day missed 2nd by 6 strokes.

Darn, I was hoping JV girl would do really well. Congrats to your DD on qualifying for state, good luck to her as her season goes on.

 

[robinb]

Thank you for the update. I'm glad your DD qualified for state. Sounds like tight scores.

It also sounded like the other 3 girls were all pretty close so Girl#6 probably didn't make a difference.

 

[golfgal]

Darn, I was hoping JV girl would do really well. Congrats to your DD on qualifying for state, good luck to her as her season goes on.

She did do well, for her. It is a hard course and that was a good score, for her. She just doesn't have the skills yet to play better than that.

It also sounded like the other 3 girls were all pretty close so Girl#6 probably didn't make a difference.

No, DD is the only one on her team that qualified for state. The top team in each section moves on to state (so 8 teams in each class-there are 3 classes for golf depending on school size) then they take the top 5 individuals not on that team. DD finished 4th overall (out of 74 girls), 2 girls in front of her were from the qualifying team (the top finisher will probably win the state tournament) and the other is from a team that did not qualify so she also goes as an individual. All the girls on the qualifying team compete at state for the team title but only those that qualify individually can compete for the individual title. There were 8 girls from our section that qualified to compete individually (that number depends on how many of the girls from the team qualify individually-can be as low as 5 and as high as 10). It is really confusing.

 

[undertheradar]

Why put down the jv player? The "for her" is wrong. She participated with the varsity and I'm sure that her participation was required for your team to play. Perhaps instead of evaluating the jv player as something less, you should encourage the other players to work with her more, thus creating a stronger team for next season! Congrats that the whole team made it that far and good luck to all of the golfers at state.

 

[tiggger1]

Why put down the jv player? The "for her" is wrong. She participated with the varsity and I'm sure that her participation was required for your team to play. Perhaps instead of evaluating the jv player as something less, you should encourage the other players to work with her more, thus creating a stronger team for next season! Congrats that the whole team made it that far and good luck to all of the golfers at state.

I dont think she was putting her down. I think she said did very well considered her level.

 

[undertheradar]

As I see it, it was. To classify a performance for a team as being good for the weakest link(inexperience), is wrong. In the real world, you win or lose as a team, not as individuals. From the start of this thread and throughout, the OP has judged the senior player and the jv player as lesser participants than her daughter. Again, only the team members should be involved, not the family members who add all the drama.

 

[SaraJayne]

As I see it, it was. To classify a performance for a team as being good for the weakest link(inexperience), is wrong. In the real world, you win or lose as a team, not as individuals. From the start of this thread and throughout, the OP has judged the senior player and the jv player as lesser participants than her daughter. Again, only the team members should be involved, not the family members who add all the drama.

 

[DizBelle]

Why put down the jv player? The "for her" is wrong. She participated with the varsity and I'm sure that her participation was required for your team to play. Perhaps instead of evaluating the jv player as something less, you should encourage the other players to work with her more, thus creating a stronger team for next season! Congrats that the whole team made it that far and good luck to all of the golfers at state.

That's great until said current j.v. player decides to not participate with the "team" because she scheduled a slumber party at the same time as a game throwing all of that effort the rest of the team made to help her improve her skills and be a better player. Apparently, on this team, at least as far as the senior girl is concerned, team doesn't matter, only the individual.

 

[DizBelle]

As I see it, it was. To classify a performance for a team as being good for the weakest link(inexperience), is wrong. In the real world, you win or lose as a team, not as individuals. From the start of this thread and throughout, the OP has judged the senior player and the jv player as lesser participants than her daughter. Again, only the team members should be involved, not the family members who add all the drama.

The senior player is a lesser player because SHE DIDN'T PARTICIPATE. She abandoned her team in favor of an individual self-scheduled event.

FTR, she was stating that the j.v. girls individual performance was very good for her skill level. That is an accomplishment for the j.v.girl.

 

[mjkacmom]

I dont think she was putting her down. I think she said did very well considered her level.

I agree! To me, that's a compliment.

 

[DizBelle]

I was talking to my DH about this. He was a competitive swimmer in high school and I asked him what would have happened if someone on his team did this (abandoned the team in favor of a party) and he said that they would have been stripped of everything they could have been stripped of. No awards, no recommendation letters, etc.

It seems to me that her future college soccer coach might like to know what this girl's likely commitment to the team is going to be - which is nil.

 

[luvsJack]

I was talking to my DH about this. He was a competitive swimmer in high school and I asked him what would have happened if someone on his team did this (abandoned the team in favor of a party) and he said that they would have been stripped of everything they could have been stripped of. No awards, no recommendation letters, etc.

It seems to me that her future college soccer coach might like to know what this girl's likely commitment to the team is going to be - which is nil.

But then again, maybe the college soccer coach would be made aware of ALL the circumstances not just a one sided biased explanation.

Why do we insist on unfairly judging someone on one instance in their life?

I asked ds what would have happened if they had a player that made this same decision. He simply said, "we would have played without him."


And, please, lets not pretend that the "for her" was not intended as a put down.

 

[razorbackfan22]

I've read most of this thread and am really shocked at the level of animosity shown to the senior girl. No one knows anything about her side and it certainly sounds like the OP has an axe to grind.

For all those exclaiming over her missing a tournament (congratulations to OP's daughter) that had some truly outstanding players for other teams that seemed to have much better scores than anyone on OP's daughter's team, I wonder if you've ever taken your child out of school for a WDW vacation. If you have, then you are guilty as you paint the senior player to be. Your child has a legal commitment to attend school and if you've chosen to remove them from school for an activity of your choosing, then you are dishonoring your commitment to their education.

See how crazy it is to speculate on other people's motivations and reasons.

 

[gina2000]

I was talking to my DH about this. He was a competitive swimmer in high school and I asked him what would have happened if someone on his team did this (abandoned the team in favor of a party) and he said that they would have been stripped of everything they could have been stripped of. No awards, no recommendation letters, etc.

It seems to me that her future college soccer coach might like to know what this girl's likely commitment to the team is going to be - which is nil.

Absolutely. On a club level, the swimmer would be thrown off the team. No ifs, ands, or buts.

For all those exclaiming over her missing a tournament (congratulations to OP's daughter) that had some truly outstanding players for other teams that seemed to have much better scores than anyone on OP's daughter's team, I wonder if you've ever taken your child out of school for a WDW vacation. If you have, then you are guilty as you paint the senior player to be. Your child has a legal commitment to attend school and if you've chosen to remove them from school for an activity of your choosing, then you are dishonoring your commitment to their education.

See how crazy it is to speculate on other people's motivations and reasons.

At a high school level, a student would be crazy to go on vacation .... any vacation while school is in session. It's educational suicide. And while we're at it, if my son takes a vacation outside the 3 week window his club coach has created for the team, he's off the team. Crazy? Yep. But those are the rules he's agreed to and by association, so have we. At times, I absolutely hate it. But that's the commitment we have made as a family.

People don't get it. If you are commited to a sport at a higher level, you are fully commited. It's a matter of honor and integrity as well as good sportsmanship toward teammates and coaches who work to help an athlete achieve the highest level of performance of which they are capable. It's not for everyone....judging from this thread it's for very few families. But for those who decide that the commitment is worth the effort and the sacrifice, it's a crystalizing moment of personal sacrifice and commitment at any level of play.

 

[DizBelle]

There's something to be said for not being willing to let other people down. This girl let her team down and that says a lot about her.

Seriously, don't you think that if there were extenuating circumstances that dictated the time of the party, she would have told her teammates? Don't they deserve to know?

 

[mjkacmom]

I've read most of this thread and am really shocked at the level of animosity shown to the senior girl. No one knows anything about her side and it certainly sounds like the OP has an axe to grind.

For all those exclaiming over her missing a tournament (congratulations to OP's daughter) that had some truly outstanding players for other teams that seemed to have much better scores than anyone on OP's daughter's team, I wonder if you've ever taken your child out of school for a WDW vacation. If you have, then you are guilty as you paint the senior player to be. Your child has a legal commitment to attend school and if you've chosen to remove them from school for an activity of your choosing, then you are dishonoring your commitment to their education.

See how crazy it is to speculate on other people's motivations and reasons.

Comparing taking a child out of school for a vacation (which I would NEVER do in JH, HS, and during sports seasons), in which the child would face the consequences (lower grade, having to make up work), to a student who decides to have a party instead of playing in the tournament (where the team has to face the consequences of not doing well) doesn't make sense.

BTW, my ds's little league team has 3 days of championships with another team, to determine first place. If one of the players on his team announced that he was having a birthday party, and couldn't make a game, I can't even imagine the uproar. It sounds like the OP and the other parents aren't making a stink, which is why she brought it up here. I also think if the girl had a valid reason why she HAD to have the party those particular 2 hours of the year, the other parents would've been informed (because in sports, things like this are just not done).