Why Won't You Give Up Your Seat on the Bus?

[Carrie Ellis]

Oh my oh my....

I am floored at the way our culture is. I don't think any of this is about WDW or entitlement.

It is about respect, especially our elders. We "the US in general" don't seem to hold our elders in great esteem. Other cultures put them on a pedestal which I think is awesome.

I respect everyone who is lawabiding but I have the upmost respect for my elders. I also feel parents with babies need our support. That is a very trying time (but rewarding). I have been there so I totally understand. We are not put on this earth to judge. If we do, then it usually comes right back at us and we find out what it feels like to be judged. Yes, I chose to have children but it does not feel good to have someone say "well you chose to have them so deal with it." Many many people think that way. But in 20 years, my children will be the ones making the world what it is and these people will be "the older" generation. So watch out.... think think think!

I wish in our culture we were more respectful and grateful. Very sad. I always consider my actions and what I will feel like when I look at myself in the mirror the next day. Will I be proud? Will my children be proud?

Life is short and a good deed breads more good deads.

I will always give up my seat for anyone who needs it or wants it. It is no big deal. I am glad to just wake up alive.

 

[WillCAD]

Oh my oh my....

I am floored at the way our culture is. I don't think any of this is about WDW or entitlement.

It is about respect, especially our elders. We "the US in general" don't seem to hold our elders in great esteem. Other cultures put them on a pedestal which I think is awesome.

I respect everyone who is lawabiding but I have the upmost respect for my elders. I also feel parents with babies need our support. That is a very trying time (but rewarding). I have been there so I totally understand. We are not put on this earth to judge. If we do, then it usually comes right back at us and we find out what it feels like to be judged. Yes, I chose to have children but it does not feel good to have someone say "well you chose to have them so deal with it." Many many people think that way. But in 20 years, my children will be the ones making the world what it is and these people will be "the older" generation. So watch out.... think think think!

I wish in our culture we were more respectful and grateful. Very sad. I always consider my actions and what I will feel like when I look at myself in the mirror the next day. Will I be proud? Will my children be proud?

Life is short and a good deed breads more good deads.

I will always give up my seat for anyone who needs it or wants it. It is no big deal. I am glad to just wake up alive.

That attitude is one of the cornerstones of American culture:

all men are created equal

That means that just because you're older doesn't automaticazlly mean that you're better, smarter, or more deserving of anything than I am.

It also means that just because you're older doesn't mean that you are lower, dumber, or less deserving of anything than I am.

I am a firm believer in treating all people with the same repect and courtesy. I don't give any more or less respect or courtesy to an Octengenarian than I do to a 4-year old. You may think this means that I don't respect my elders, but I do - just as I respect you, and your 4-year old, and the guy down the street, and the lady with the baby. I hold doors for everybody, regardless of age or gender, I am pollite and courteous to everybody, and I don't expect any more in return than what I give.

I also don't expect any less in return. I am entiteled to the same respect and courtesy as anybody else - and expecting me to give up my seat on a bus just because you have a kid in your arms is rude. After all, it's Disney - you didn't think you'd be the only person with a kid on vacation there, did you?

 

[goofy4tink]

Just can't believe you guys are still 'debating' this. No one is going to change anyone else's mind as to the 'right' thing to do here....that's pretty obvious. Please try to remain civil though. Things are getting a bit heated now. Let's all take a deep breath and step back for a moment or two.....okay, continue, but play nicely!!!

 

[Carrie Ellis]

Well I guess the better way to say it might be not respect, I can't find a word for it... may be "appreciate." No, I don't respect you less than an 80-year-old woman and I would hold the door for you too. I just feel like our older society has, of course, been here longer and set the path for us. They have worked longer than acquired wisdom and that only being around longer can be achieved. They have kept the earth, to the best of their ability, and our world healthy for our generation to enjoy. Most of our elders probably wanted our lifetime to be even better than theirs, so they worked hard. I know my grandparents and parents did and do. So when they are having a little fun or trying to get somewhere and are a little tired or wobbly, yes, I would give up a seat. I guess, in a way, it is my way of saying thank you. Of course, I don't know them, and they might not give 2 cents about my life but I believe most of our senior citizens care. I am not talking about a 40 or 50-year-old healthy person. I do believe that they are the middle age folks of our generation. It is nice to see a man give up a seat to a woman. I guess we all have that fantasy if we are WDW fans. Most of the Disney films are based on chivalry.

And I do "appreciate" families with babies. They are our next generation. They are equal, yes. But I know what it is like so I might be inclined to hand them over my seat. They are loving their family and providing vacations to their children just like me.

And, understand that I am saying "me" and "I". I don't feel like anyone should believe what I believe. Just discussing.

 

[CleveRocks]

Yes, I chose to have children but it does not feel good to have someone say "well you chose to have them so deal with it." Many many people think that way.

I'm not sure if this was in part said in response to my post, but in case it was, I would like to respond.

I am a parent. I live my life every day hoping to serve as an excellent role model for my kids. I am respectful, helpful, giving, and an all-around nice guy.

You stated your opinion that our overall culture lacks respect or appreciation or whatever the right word is. I don't disagree with you at all. But I also think our overall culture lacks a sense of personal responsibility. We as a culture seem too quick to blame others, or expect something from others, rather than make sure we do what we need to do for ourselves and our families. That's what I meant when I posited my idea about an over-inflated sense of entitlement, righteous indignation that someone should just help me already.

It would be wonderful if others helped us when we needed it. I do it for others, I'm raising my kids to do it for others, I'm disappointed if it's not offered to me when I need it, but I don't EXPECT others to do it for me.

Let me digress for a minute. I'm a cognitive therapist. One of my tasks is helping people make good decisions and exercise good judgment in their everyday lives. Let's say I have a client who doesn't drive. He can use a special transportation service to get wherever he wants, but it requires advance reservations. If he gets such a ride to somewhere, say a store or a party, but he neglects to reserve a ride back home, he EXPECTS someone there to give him a ride home. If none is offered to him, he's really angry, he feels like someone SHOULD do it for him, and resents if no one does. As his therapist, I explain to him that it would certainly be nice if someone offered him a ride home, and it might happen, but he needs to take personal responsibility to arrange his own ride (such as through that transportation service) just in case no one helps him out. He needs to rely on himself (which he IS capable of doing) rather than rely on the kindness of others.

I think as parents it's the same with us. We need to make sure we take care of things, rather than EXPECTING others to do something nice for us. I wish we lived in an ideal world. I'm raising my kids to be builders of such an ideal world. But since we know we are not in an ideal world at this moment, it is our responsibility to take care of ourselves and not expect others to do it for us.

Please don't read any of this as an angry screed. I'm not even bothered. I'm just sharing my opinion, my perspective. If you could see and hear me speak the above words, you'd see I'd be sitting back in a chair having a nice discussion, sharing my views; you wouldn't see me angry or stressed about the topic at all.

 

[susancl]

Wow! I am so grateful dh, ds's and I are able-bodied and be fortunate enough to get to WDW. From the sounds of some of these posts, we'd spend most of our trips waiting for the next bus if we needed to be seated. Luckily, this thread is not an accurate sample of the WDW guests using the transportation system. We've found that most WDW guests on the bus are pretty polite.

I'm still sticking to my position.....

If someone needs a seat, I'm getting up. I don't care if they are holding a child (awake or asleep), pregnant, disabled or old. I'm grateful I can stand and happy to help. It feels good to help other people. There must be alot of really grumpy people sitting in those seats.

 

[CleveRocks]

If someone needs a seat, I'm getting up. I don't care if they are holding a child (awake or asleep), pregnant, disabled or old. I'm grateful I can stand and happy to help. It feels good to help other people.

I TOTALLY TOTALLY TOTALLY AGREE WITH YOU!

 

[goofy4tink]

I really believe that the general consensus here is that most people will get up and offer their seat to someone who looks like they could use it. I also think that what people here object to are people who stand there, glaring at everyone, expecting someone to give up their seat. I always, yes..always....give up my seat to someone who looks like they need it more than I do...be it an elderly person, overburdened young mother trying to balance two kids, or someone who has an obvious disability. But, I do get annoyed with those that stand there, glaring at me, trying to 'guilt' me into giving them my seat...that's rude. I have had situations where I was not able to offer my seat to someone (had my own issues at the time) but got 'the look' from those standing. My dh has gotten the look, while sitting there with a knee that he can no longer stand on. Of course there was the time a woman gave him 'the look' and he got up...as he did, I asked him, very sweetly, if he was sure he could stand on his knee without falling over onto someone. The 'look' giver just rolled her eyes and moved to the back of the bus...where there actually a few seats left. I know, maybe not so polite, but this woman had no, obvious to me anyway, issues with standing..I watched her run for the bus...she had no children that were under teen years, she wasn't old, at least any older than me...she just figured she was a woman and should automatically have that seat. 9 times out of 10 my dh gives a seat to someone...that one time is when he is in severe pain. Yes, he has walked around the parks all day (well, maybe half the day) with us, something I am eternally grateful for since he hates going on vacation. If his needing to keep his seat one time out of ten, in order to go on vacation with me, so be it.

I don't think anyone here really feels that we are so ill mannered that we will sit there, on our sorry behinds, while a little old lady sways back and forth, or a poor tired mother tries to keep her toddler upright in a moving bus. Most of us would get up, and give our seat up. I don't think that as a society, we are that bad yet. But, then again, I could be living in my own little world again. In that world people say please and thank-you, they give up seats for those less able to stand, they smile at people on the street, they say excuse me if they bang into you, they hold doors for you...it's a very nice world.

 

[shadonjenon]

I haven't read all the posts but some of the ones that I have make me very sad Everyone wants to talk about their rights. This is not a constitutional argument. Just because you have the right to do something doesn't mean you should. Sure you CAN stay in you seat and you wouldn't be breaking any written rules. But what about the rule to love your neighbor. We seem to suffer more and more from the "not my problem disease". I guess its never "your problem" until it affects you personally.

Is it your fault that they got on the bus after you? "No." Is it your fault that they are old, or pregnant, or holding a sleeping child? "No." With all that said could showing someone a random act of kindness possible really make their day and give you a good feeling that you did something nice for someone else without expecting anything in return? ABSOLUTELY!!!

It is SICKING to hear people who seem to have a total lack of compassion for others.

Remember that what goes around comes around and one day it may be you in the position of needing a random act of kindness.

 

[ducklite]

It seems that all but a couple of posters have said that they would be happy to give up seats on buses as long as they were feeling up to it. I and a few others have also stated that if we purposely skipped a bus to wait for one we could get seats on, we wouldn't give those seats up. We've already waited longer than those behind us in line to get seats, which is something anyone else can do. I don't think it's at all selfish to then want to keep the seat we waited for another bus for.

It seems to me that those who think people who don't give up seats are rude, selfish, or "insert adjective here" are those who choose to not plan accordingly for their families needs. I ask them why they think it's acceptable to impose on others.

I'm still not sure why someone who waits until their kids are dropping over from exhaustion would think that it would be someone elses's obligation to give up their seat. Wouldn't it have been easier for you to leave earlier with your family?

Anne

 

[Patty3]

As I stated in an earlier post, I will without hesitation give up my seat. But, it is also common courtesy and good manners to thank those who give up their seats. I have given up my seat to only have those who take the seat not even acknowledge me with a thank you or a smile. That is also extremely rude.

 

[FOV]

I am a firm believer in treating all people with the same repect and courtesy. I don't give any more or less respect or courtesy to an Octengenarian than I do to a 4-year old.

WillCAD (pun not intended) you say you don't give any more courtesy to octongenarians. I do, so if I see you board the WDW bus with your 80 y/o mother (or grandmother) and you take the last seat ('cuz you got there first and you deserve it) I will offer my seat to your mom. You see, statistically speaking, if an elderly person (I think octogenarians qualify as "elderly") falls that person would have a statistically higher chance of getting seriously injured (like breaking their hip) than a younger person. Hey (wink, wink) if they fall the bus may have to stop and WE will be delayed! Think of it that way. You may get to your hotel 15 minutes later!

I also don't expect any less in return. I am entiteled to the same respect and courtesy as anybody else - and expecting me to give up my seat on a bus just because you have a kid in your arms is rude. After all, it's Disney - you didn't think you'd be the only person with a kid on vacation there, did you?

Well, I'm past the stage of having "a kid in my arms" but even when I did I never expected you to give me your seat. It was NEVER expected, ALWAYS appreciated.

If the roles had been reversed and YOU had a "kid in your arms" and I had the seat I would have offered my seat. I still will because your child is innocent and I would feel awful if you fell and your child was injured.

 

[english rose 47]

To answer Ducklite Why we may wait till child is sleeping. Simple other and older kids who are not and really want to see the fireworksis that so wrong?Would I wait for another bus yes if it wasn't going to be 30 minutes and if I did wait so at least one of us could have a seat to hold the slleping child there would be no reason for the others not to give up a seat forsomeone more needy. If all of the kids were awake No problem standing it's jusst handlig a sleeping child a stroller and standing that would be hard. I'm going to trust the pixie dust and find all those kind, couteous Disers on every bus I ride. How's that for being positive?

 

[FOV]

It seems to me that those who think people who don't give up seats are rude, selfish, or "insert adjective here" are those who choose to not plan accordingly for their families needs. I ask them why they think it's acceptable to impose on others.Anne

Anne, I agree that just because someone is "in need" does not make them nice.

The only thing I would ask people to consider is the innocence of a small baby. Let's say a mom rudely pushes onto the bus at the last minute. She may or may not ask for a seat. You are probably angry with her and you may even be swearing under your breath. Unfortunately, the INNOCENT baby stands to be injured the most. A young baby wouldn't even have the developed reflexes to break a fall. If you CHOOSE to give up your seat (and I'm not saying it is your DUTY) consider that you are doing it for the BABY (who had no choice) not the parent.

I guess the same argument stands for the parent of a 2 y/o who expects their young child to stand. You don't give your seat to the 2 y/o because you feel bad for the parent, you give your seat for the safety of the 2 y/o, that is if you CHOOSE to give up your seat.

 

[WillCAD]

WillCAD (pun not intended) you say you don't give any more courtesy to octongenarians. I do, so if I see you board the WDW bus with your 80 y/o mother (or grandmother) and you take the last seat ('cuz you got there first and you deserve it) I will offer my seat to your mom. You see, statistically speaking, if an elderly person (I think octogenarians qualify as "elderly") falls that person would have a statistically higher chance of getting seriously injured (like breaking their hip) than a younger person. Hey (wink, wink) if they fall the bus may have to stop and WE will be delayed! Think of it that way. You may get to your hotel 15 minutes later!

You'll never see me board a bus with an elderly family member, because I care about my family enough to make absolutely certain in advance that they will ALWAYS have a place to sit - by renting a car. I would NEVER subject an elderly or otherwise frail person, family or not, to the rigors of a bus ride where they might have to stand up.

Well, I'm past the stage of having "a kid in my arms" but even when I did I never expected you to give me your seat. It was NEVER expected, ALWAYS appreciated.

Your appreciation is appreciated. Courtesy, kindness, and politeness are getting mighty scarce in this counry; I practice them myself, and when I recieve them I am always appreciative and try to express my appreciation.

If the roles had been reversed and YOU had a "kid in your arms" and I had the seat I would have offered my seat. I still will because your child is innocent and I would feel awful if you fell and your child was injured.

You will never have to. If I board a WDW bus with a kid in my arms, you better believe that I am confident in my ability to stand up safely for the entire trip. If I were not able to stand up with the kid for the entire trip, and couldn't get a seat, I'd get off the bus. I am responsible enough to never put a child (or an adult, family or stranger) at risk of injury. There are always alternatives - rental cars, cabs, waiting for the next bus. Whether those alternatives are convenient or timely matters not; what matters is that they are available to me, and if I fail to take advantage of them, any danger, discomfort, or injury that results is purely my own fault, not that of someone who is just as tired as me who happened to get the last seat on the bus before I boarded.

And yes, that means I am responsible enough to get my fat behind off the seat if I see somebody who seems to be at risk of injury from standing up on the bus.

I, too, have health problems that sometimes make it uncomfortable or even painful for me to stand up on a bus. With my knees, asthma, and bad back, i could probably qualify in most peoples' opinion as one of those people who really does need a seat. But I never expect anyone to get up for me, and all I ask is the same in return. If I can't take standing up, and there are no seats available, I get off the bus and figure out another way to get where I'm going. It is incumbant upon ME to make sure I can get a seat, nobody else - including the other healthy people who may already be sitting in the seats.

Complete personal responsibility is the ultimate in common courtesy.

 

[english rose 47]

I work with the M>R> population many of who are in wheelchairs. I am infuriated by the misuse of handicapped hang tags, they are meant ONLY for the person they are issued for meaning they have to be in the vehicleat the time of parking. Why does that infuriate me because I may be driving a large handicapped van that needs not only a handicap space but one that is van accesible. People with hanicaps rightly deserve bus accesibility and shame on anyone who doesn't move over!! I'm glad the ADA is as tough as it is most of you haven't even heard of Willowbrook If you had you outlook would be different!

 

[Carrie Ellis]

I'm not sure if this was in part said in response to my post, but in case it was, I would like to respond.

Actually, I was not responding to just you...just in general! Sorry I did not say that!

WILCAD, I understand what you are saying. I would not have my 80 year old parent or grandparent on a WDW either but I still would give a seat to someone elses 80 year old relative. Some people just don't know better.


It would be wonderful if others helped us when we needed it. I do it for others, I'm raising my kids to do it for others, I'm disappointed if it's not offered to me when I need it, but I don't EXPECT others to do it for me.

Believe me...I know! I have 2 sets of twins! My husband was (an army reservist) deployed and no one offered to help. At that time my kids were 1 and 4 years old and we lived several states from family (who probably would not help either). I was even changing a flat tire in my driveway and not one neighbor came out of the house to offer to help (I did not need it or expect it, just that I would have been out if it was the other way around!). I know at least 2 neighbors that saw me doing it with the kiddos in the car. Also, I had no offers from the church that we attended. But, like you said, they were my responsibilty and it was my husband's choice to join the military. I don't hold any grudges but it does make me laugh.

Oh well, the only way to keep good deads being done is to teach our children.

My dad is a homicide detective and my brother is a police officer. I have heard and seen my share of people who "expect" things. But, I don't think the big time offenders are on a WDW bus.

This is fun!

lots of luv!!

 

[gigi1313]

they are meant ONLY for the person they are issued for meaning they have to be in the vehicleat the time of parking.

how can you tell if the driver/parker is the person intended or not? to the naked eye i look healthy and capable of parking ten rows back... but to my doctor, i am the person intended... i have rheumatoid arthritis... i don't wear a sign that says so, i'm not in a wheelchair, nor do i use a cane or a walker (but love a shopping cart to lean on when walking) and those extra ten rows could sometimes take quite the toll... i must say that as much as a non-handicapped person using the handicapped parking space irks me, being judged by those that know nothing about me except how i appear on the outside irks me MORE!

i've had someone say to me as i was getting out of the car "you don't look handicapped" and my response is "well, you don't look rude... i guess looks can be deceiving!" and go about my business!

 

[kstinw19]

So you can get a seat? The common decency is to plan appropriately for the needs of your family, not to impose on everyone else.

First of all, I never said that I expected anyone to get up for me. It indeed would be my choice on whether or not to get on the bus with a sleeping child or not. What I meant by the phrase was, I wouldn't want to stand in line waiting for the next bus for 20 minutes when I could stand on the bus for that amount of time and be back at my hotel. I do not have a sense of entitlement, as I do not "glare" at others who do not get up for me.

Frankly if I had waited for the next bus so I could get a seat, I would not get up for you. You choose to inconvenience others for the convenience of your family. I'm not sure how that makes others indecent--in all honesty it seems that you're the one with the courtesy problems.

Well, I hope I don't get on a bus with you. And I don't look at an elderly person, a disabled person, or someone holding a child as an inconvenience if I chose to give up my seat. You are right...it is a choice and I guess it's not yours.

Oh, and BTW--I commuted to NYC on the NJ Transit train on crutches, it wasn't easy but it was entirely doable. There are elevators in Penn Station.

My commute wasn't to Penn Station...it was on the PATH trains to 34th Street. There is an elevator there too but it was constantly broken. Thanks for you input, though.

 

[taximomfor4]

I'm staying out of my personal habits, but was wondering something...not just about the seats-on-WDW-buses, but about other issues on the boards as well. How do we know people are not "compassionate" or are "selfish" if they don't give up their seat? I don't like seeing sweeping statements made about people on the boards, when we are only hearing their habits/views/whatever about one little aspect of their life.

I won't call people who get upset when nobody gives them a seat "entitled"...I won't call those who stay in their seats "selfish" or "not compassionate" or "lacking in manners." I feel bad when I hear people who stay in deluxe resorts "snobby" or "elitist"...or people who bank child credits for adults on the DDP "thiefs"...

I guess what I am saying is, how can people label people as "bad people" in some way, if they are only seeing a single snapshot into another poster's life.