Why Won't You Give Up Your Seat on the Bus?

[2trips06Mom]

My teenage boys (19 and 17) have always been taught respect and that includes giving up their bus seat for someone else who may need it and they know this.

We are doing a family reunion in August. My Dad and Mom are coming also. My dad is only 65 and looks very healthy. He has been told his lifespan is about 2 maybe 3 more years due to a 3rd return of cancer. After many, many surgeries and illness, he still looks great and he hides his illness very well. No one would know about his pain or how exhausted he really is. However, he tires very quickly and very easily, but he doesn't give into it and keeps going, especially on trips to places he has never been (Disney World). I am very worried about this trip for him. Waiting for the bus, and then having to stand. I've already instructed my boys, and my nieces, nephews, brothers in law, etc. to ALWAYS give my Dad their seat on the bus. However, my Dad would never take the seat if my Mom had to stand, even though she is 65 and very healthy. So - that means we have to be sure to get them 2 seats. He is also old fashioned and believes that all women and young children should be seated before him. We have been thinking of renting a car to go back and forht to the parks, but he has said, lets see how transportation works first... so if ya'll see my Dad, would you please give him a seat??? I'd truly appreciate it! I'm always willing to give up mine (except when I tore my hamstring in June and couldn't move well)!

 

[powellrj]

One thing that hasn't been mentioned on this thread is that many people aren't familiar with public transportation. For many kids that visit Disney, the only time they have ever ridden a bus in their lives is a school bus. There is no standing on a school bus, so they have no idea that people can stand on busses and that they should offer their seat to them. It has nothing to do with manners or class, its more a lack of experence. Unless you tell the kids ahead of time what to expect, they would have no clue that people could be standing on the bus while its moving and they need to offer their seats to them.

 

[antmaril]

I think it is a sign of the times. We live in an "it's all about me world".
I fear that it will only get worse.

I feel this way about people who put their seats all the back on an airplane. Why would you do that to the person behind you? I know you can, but should you? I never put my seat back on a plane (even if the person in front of me has his/her seat back) because I just don't want to do it to the person behind me.

Didn't mean to highjack your thread.

Just my two cents, of course.

 

[ducklite]

There is no standing on a school bus

Maybe in some areas, but lots of districts still have standees on school buses, they just can't afford enough buses for every kid to heave a seat. When I was a kid we had 10-15 kids standing every day on the bus on the way to school.

I just have a hard time believing that most people have never been on public transportation. I grew up in a (at the time) semi-rural area of Upstate NY (the "main" road changed to gravel about half a mile before the entrance to the road that my house was on), and by the time I was ten I had been on public transportation--Greyhound to summer camp, Amtrack to NYC, subways and buses in NYC, and of course school buses.

Anne

 

[Mississippian]

As for the buses, the drivers should count the number of people getting on, and when it is full they should announce that the bus is full and only those willing and able to stand should board the bus. That should solve the problem for everyone.

 

[Becky2005]

Something else that has never been brought up (at least I haven't seen it), is maybe in real life people don't take the busses and don't realize they are *supposed* to offer up their seats? I can't think of anywhere else we go that would even be thought of to give up a seat you are already sitting in.

In growing up, we NEVER took a public transportation bus anywhere. I took the school bus and you certainly aren't going to be standing up on that (nor would it occur to any of us to offer our seats to any of the other kids on there either!).

The first time I ever took a public bus was a couple years ago when DD & I went into the city. It never occured to me that people should have given up their seat for anyone. I am more on the first come, first serve concept. I personally would feel bizarre taking up someone else's seat.

So, going to Disney is the first time we have dealt with the public bus transportation in that fashion as a family.

I know we talked about this before going because I had read the boards, DH has balance issues, so he already told me he wasn't going to give up his seat and would only stand if he had to. He never had to since the busses were never that crowded when we got on. However, if I hadn't been on the boards, I wouldn't have even known about doing it.

We only had to stand up 1 time coming back from Downtown Disney late at night after La Nouba. I only had the 3 older ones with me so it wasn't that bad (the 5 year old actually slept standing up, holding onto a pole -- how he managed that I'm not quite sure but he did!)

Edited to add -- I see the concept of never being on public transportation *was* brought up (since I didn't read this entire thread but hadn't seen it on others). Here there is no standing on school busses here (they won't move the bus until you are seated). My entire childhood I never was in a situation where one would give up your seat (actually I don't ever recall being in a moving vehicle with people standing growing up at all). You don't on airplanes, the charter busses didn't allow it either (those were the only 2 things I went on growing up for school trips).

 

[DisneyHumbug]

Gigi - haven't you ever taken the LIRR?

 

[beachgrl001]

When I was a teenager (in philly) I took the public(septa) bus alot to and from school and everywhere else. I always gave up my seat. And its funny because I probably looked like the most unlikely person who would, with my mohawk, Ramones shirt and hair color of the week. People already stared so they stared some more.

 

[gigi1313]

i have as i commuted into NYC for over a decade... and i'm quite cognizant of standing/giving up one's seat/etc and as posted previously, encourage my children to be thoughtful when it comes to that on wdw buses...

but neither dh nor my children have ever ridden the LIRR (except once in preschool from mattituck to greenport, though not much of an issue w/crowding there! LOL!)...

when we go into NYC as a family we either drive or take the jitney...

 

[FOV]

As for the buses, the drivers should count the number of people getting on, and when it is full they should announce that the bus is full and only those willing and able to stand should board the bus. That should solve the problem for everyone.

Well, honestly it wouldn't really make a difference to me. You see, if a person I perceived to be "in need" boarded the bus after a "standing only" announcement [NOTE: they are not asking *or* expecting anyone to give up their seat] I would still feel it was polite to offer my seat. I would also expect my children to give up their seats. I would not enjoy the ride if I was sitting down and a very young child (under the age of 4) who was unsteady on his/her feet was standing next to me. I just couldn't do it! I feel the same way about an adult who looked unsteady or uncomfortable.

Again - this is not about someone boarding a bus with the feeling of entitlement [oh I'll board and just expect someone to give up their seat.] I am really just very interested to hear about why an able-bodied person would make a decision to not give up their seat.

 

[JerJan]

FOV quoted: I am really just very interested to hear about why an able-bodied person would make a decision to not give up their seat.

The only reason that I can come up with is because they are "SELFISH" and it's all about them......

 

[CleveRocks]

When I was a teenager (in philly) I took the public(septa) bus alot to and from school and everywhere else. I always gave up my seat. And its funny because I probably looked like the most unlikely person who would, with my mohawk, Ramones shirt and hair color of the week. People already stared so they stared some more.

You sound strangely familiar. Did we go to Lincoln H.S. together in the early 80's?

 

[maxiesmom]

Maybe the person you see sitting waited for a bus that they could have a seat in? Maybe they are just really, really tired. You don't know what is going on with the other person. They don't have to explain themselves to you. If you want to offer someone a seat, that is great! My 65yr old dad still does. You can only control what you do. If you have to have a seat, rent a car, call a taxi, or wait for the next bus. These are things you can control. Coming on here and calling other people names really only make you look small. Why so judgemental over a bus seat?

 

[4formickey]

I would love to hear your take on things. I bet you see everything from those who really need a seat and can't get one, to those who do not really need a seat and expect one.

So what part of human nature comes out the most? Generosity, or self preservation?

We are trainned that you can not tell if a person has a hidden disabilty. Now a days people have different health problems that may prevent them from standing. If you are able to get up ,just do it but do not judge people that do not get up because you do not know what health problems they or their children may have. If you need a seat and the bus is crowed, WAIT for the next one. It may only be a few minutes. Now back to my

 

[goofy4tink]

I don't think we are ever going to make it so that everyone sees things the same way we do. There are always going to be people that are not going to behave the way you would like them to in a given situation. Entitlement? I don't know. But, I guess we're just going to have to continue doing what we feel to be the correct thing to do.
I believe that telling people they are inconsiderate or entitled or selfish if they don't automatically get up and offer a seat, is probably wrong. We don't know what that person's 'story' is, we just tend to make assumptions. So....maybe we should just not worry about it so much. It's a never-ending issue....and one we can only try to change, one seat at a time.

 

[Debbie]

I just have a hard time believing that most people have never been on public transportation.

When my kids first went to WDW, they were 3, 4, and 5. And the busses were one of their favourite rides, along with the trams on the days that we drove. We came back to our town...er, village...which is about 20 minutes away from the city, and every time we saw a bus, they'd yell "Disney bus"! (Small things, small things!)
Oh, and it was YEARS before they had ever set foot on an escalator, too!
BTW, we did show them the proper way to stand when others were in need. And my youngest 2 are quick on the monorail to give up their seats if needed by others. too.

 

[DisMN]

I haven't read the whole thread yet but I'm willing to bet nobody has given you this reason why they don't give up their seat.

I was on one of those very full busses a few years ago and noticed someone who clearly needed to sit more than I did. I offered to stand while she sat but the logistics of actually performing the switch were beyond difficult. Midway through the switch we looked at each other and realized we were shoving and pushing OTHER people around...........and we both agreed we'd just stay put, right where we already were, her standing and me sitting.

An eye opening experience for sure and one that I keep in mind when making the offer OR when someone is giving me dirty looks for remaining seated.



.

 

[WillCAD]

I haven't read this entire thread, because the arguements have all been made before, many times.

WDW is a special place - every bus, every boat, every monorail is full of people who "deserve" a seat more than me, at least by some peoples' standards, which means that if I agree with those standards, I will never, ever, be able to sit on a bus, boat, or monorail at WDW.

For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. Which in this case means that every time you judge someone as bing more deserving of a seat, you are simultaneously judging someone else to be less deserving of a seat.

I sit when I can find a seat, I stand when there are none. Since there are almost never any seats, I choose to rent a car and avoid the whole issue.

But I still say that I am not less deserving.

 

[FOV]

For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. Which in this case means that every time you judge someone as bing more deserving of a seat, you are simultaneously judging someone else to be less deserving of a seat.

Good point WillCad but I must counter because I love a good friendly debate - so forgive me!

I do believe that a small child - who may be unsteady on his/her feet is more "deserving" of a seat then me. But-once they get steady they can fend for themselves! I have a 5 y/o and he can stand just fine.

I would feel absolutely foolish to take a seat and let an 88 year-old stand. My grandmother is 88 and she deserves a seat more than me. No way I'll ever feel any different.

Anyone (man, woman, child) with a disablity which may make it difficult for them to hold steady on a rocky bus deserves a seat more than me.

I'll stop with the examples.

I would not be in favor of a "give your seat up on the bus" law because it is up to the individual to make his/her mind up about what to do in a given situation but I do consider it basic courtesy. There's no law saying you have to cover your mouth after you sneeze but society is much better off when we do.

Okay, now back to the peanut allergy thread...

 

[english rose 47]

I commented on this on another thread and was flamed for expressing by feelings on good manners compassion etc. I personally highly commend the bus driver who refused to move the bus till some one gave a seat to the Dad holding a sleeping child. That's my oppinion and I respect your right to disagree but you won't change my mind.; as I wont change yours.