I used to be a bulimic. I was so worried about what people would say if I were a few pounds overweight, mostly because I watched and saw how cruel people could be to my overweight friends. I did whatever it took to avoid gaining weight. But then I was struck with several autoimmune disesaes and had to take large amounts of prednisone. Basically, I'm in honugirl's shoes, only in my case it's from synthetic cortisol that I gain wieght and not natural cortisol. This has been such a difficult thing for me that at several points in my life, I considered and sometimes even tried to go off the life saving drug, just so people like FireDancer would be ok being in the room with me.
When I go to
Disneyland, I need an
ECV. I have rheumatoid arthritis, lupus, interstitial cystitis, and Sjögrens Syndrome (with MS like central nervous system involvement). I mean, I
really qualify as somebody disabled who needs one. But I happen to be fat, and because of that, I refuse to use the ECV. Why? Because I have read threads, right here on the DIS, where we are treated to the "fact" that
ECVs are full of fat lazy people who use those things because they are too pathetic to walk. I am so afraid of being judged that I would rather compromise my health and wear myself down instead of taking it easy and enjoying my vacations.
I have thought about going to the WISH board to seek support, but the support would be clouded because I now see that there are people there who will cast judgment on me if I eat a piece of chocolate cake on my birthday and admit that to the group.
So to those of you who think you do people "favors" by letting them know they are fat and not eating right....you're not. All you manage to do is make people feel even worse about themselves. Every psychology experiment ever done on this subject will tell you that the way to encourage people to do better, be healthier, or study/work harder is to compliment good behavior and that knocking people down or humiliating people is not only not helpful, it usually has negative affects. But then you already know this, yes FireDancer? You strike me as a well read person. You know you're not helping people. Just out of curiosity, as you read about the hurt feelings you have caused on this thread, including belittling a woman whose child has died....do you feel better about yourself? Are you forgetting your own physical/personality flaws, just for a little while as you smugly watch the affect your words have had on good, decent people?