Why I have been gone....

[baby1disney]

Hi everyone!!

I know I haven't been on here in a few days...almost a week. I just wanted to say why.

Now, once I give my explanation, this is not geared towards sympathy or anything like this. This is strictly theraputic for me and I need to get this out.

I may have mentioned this before, but I suffer from Chronic Severe Depression and when it comes on, it comes on strong. I spent about two hours yesterday, crying uncontrollaby(sp?). DH tried his best to comfort me as much and as best as he could. My doctor has said that crying(at least for me)is one way I let out my stress and anger. You see, I hide my emotions or keep them bottled up for so long, that I can't take it anymore. I know that I shouldn't do that, but I can't help it...or I should say that, I'm trying to do better with this.

With the changing of the seasons, especially with the gray skies and rainy days, it's even more of a challenge some days. As I'm typing this now, I'm kinda crying because I hate feeling like this and I hate that I can't control it!! I've tried to be on medication for this, but it made me feel worse. I found out about my condition a few years ago when I had overdosed on pills. My friend, my, happened to come over nad check on me, because she knew I was going thru a tough time. She took me to the hospital and it all came to light there!! SHe'll never know just how much I love and appreciate her for that!!

There's a thread that was posted about someone's co-worker hanging herself and she(the OP) is a trained professional in that field. To that thread poster: PLEASE do NOT beat yourself up on this/that!!! People who are depressed are very, VERY good at hiding their emotions..as on poster on that thread mentioned. What happened is NOT in ANY way, shape, or form, your fault. I just wanted to let you know from a personal view point.

Thank you everyone for letting me get this out and understanding. If anyone has any negative comments, please either keep them to yourselves or pm me personally. Like I said above, I'm NOT looking for any kind of sympathy of sorts. Sometimes, me writing about this helps me get thru it. Also, this is my way of letting others know that any and all types of people may be going thru this...even us happy-go-lucky ones!!

I do have alot of family and friends who support me and understand me and that helps tremendously!! Without them...well, I don't even want to think about that.

I'll be around and things, being my silly..asking stupid questions, self!!! LOL!!! I just need a lil time before I'm back...totally!!

I LOVE all of you and thanks once again for letting me get this out!!

 

[disneym2m]

Hang in there and just take one day at a time. I am not sure if it helps but maybe when you are feeling down, just to do an activity that you love. I have a friend who suffers from depression and when she feels down she tries to scrapbook and look at Disney websites. Sometimes it helps and sometimes it doesn't....just a thought.

You know you have support from the Dis crowd.

 

[baby1disney]

Hang in there and just take one day at a time. I am not sure if it helps but maybe when you are feeling down, just to do an activity that you love. I have a friend who suffers from depression and when she feels down she tries to scrapbook and look at Disney websites. Sometimes it helps and sometimes it doesn't....just a thought.

You know you have support from the Dis crowd.

Thank you Melissa!!!

 

[jacstangler]

It looks like you have a great husband and family for support. You will also get it here. I cannot claim that I have any idea what you are going through, but my prayers are being sent along with some pixie dust. Thank you for letting us know.

John

 

[jacstangler]

It looks like you have a great husband and family for support. You will also get it here. I cannot claim that I have any idea what you are going through, but my prayers are being sent along with some pixie dust. Thank you for letting us know.

John

 

[baby1disney]

It looks like you have a great husband and family for support. You will also get it here. I cannot claim that I have any idea what you are going through, but my prayers are being sent along with some pixie dust. Thank you for letting us know.

John

Thank You, John!! Pixie Dust is ALWAYS a great thing to have!!!

 

[Becx N Gav]

I hope you get through this ok and that it becomes easier for you to deal with We're here to listen and give 'virtual' support - I'm so pleased you have this outlet to use.

Hopefully if anyone else is suffering from this they may read your post and realise what is happening, I know I'm a bit deflated when I come back from Disney but I can't begin to imagine what you are going through.

and hope to see you around soon

 

[Iggipolka]

There's a thread that was posted about someone's co-worker hanging herself and she(the OP) is a trained professional in that field. To that thread poster: PLEASE do NOT beat yourself up on this/that!!! People who are depressed are very, VERY good at hiding their emotions..as on poster on that thread mentioned. What happened is NOT in ANY way, shape, or form, your fault. I just wanted to let you know from a personal view point.

Thank you for your kind words while you are in the midst of your own suffering. Depression is a nightmare of a disease. Hopefully by your posting what you did, someone else who thinks that they are alone in feeling what they do, will realize that someone else understands. I know that meds haven't worked for you in the past, but there's a wide variety of antidepressants. One may work much better than another.
Hang in there and thanks again.

 

[lugnut33]

Cheer up!! It could be worse, you could live in Ohio.













JK!! I know Toledo is close to Ohio.

 

[baby1disney]

I hope you get through this ok and that it becomes easier for you to deal with We're here to listen and give 'virtual' support - I'm so pleased you have this outlet to use.

Hopefully if anyone else is suffering from this they may read your post and realise what is happening, I know I'm a bit deflated when I come back from Disney but I can't begin to imagine what you are going through.

and hope to see you around soon

Thanks sooo much!! I have that I'm not alone and the DIS community..especially this one....has been very helpful to me for just about anything. It seems the people on this board don't judge like some of the other boards on here and I Love each and every one of these people for that!!!

Thank you for your kind words while you are in the midst of your own suffering. Depression is a nightmare of a disease. Hopefully by your posting what you did, someone else who thinks that they are alone in feeling what they do, will realize that someone else understands. I know that meds haven't worked for you in the past, but there's a wide variety of antidepressants. One may work much better than another.
Hang in there and thanks again.

No problem!! Like I said before, I wasn't doing this for anyone's sympathy or anyhting like that. If I have helped someone along the way, I'm very grateful about it. I'm strictly being "selfish", meaning that I'm just using this as an outlet. I'm soooo glad I have found this board and have found my "family and friends" on here. You all are a Godsend!!!

 

[baby1disney]

Cheer up!! It could be worse, you could live in Ohio.













JK!! I know Toledo is close to Ohio.

LOL!!! Ok...that made me smile!! And...Toledo is actually inOhio!! Just for future reference!!! LOL!!! JK I'm sure you know that!!

 

[lugnut33]

LOL!!! Ok...that made me smile!! And...Toledo is actually inOhio!! Just for future reference!!! LOL!!! JK I'm sure you know that!!

Purrrrrfect, my plan is working!!

 

[baby1disney]

Purrrrrfect, my plan is working!!

NOW...had I know that there was a hidden agenda...

No seriously...thank you!! I needed that today!!

 

[TXYankee]

Terri,

I am so sorry that you are having such a rough time right now. Depression is a very difficult disease. I hope that you will be feeling better soon.

 

[halliesmommy01]

Hi Terri,

I too have been diagnosed with depression. Mine started when I was a teenager. I know the feeling of despair. I have had many days when it was all I could do to get out of bed. Sometimes I did not even do that. I finally got to the point where I had to do something after my DD was born. I have been on a couple different meds. So if one didn't work please think about trying others. I also have just recently been having anxiety. I have had a few panic attacks. I also had to take a break from the boards to work on me. I guess I am telling you all this so you don't feel all alone. I am right there fighting everyday too.

 

[NWOhioAngela]

Hang in there Terri! I'm just down Airport Highway from you and I know all about that seasonal stuff when you live here. And, really, lately, Toledo is not a really happy place these days, so that doesn't help.

If the weather gets a bit nicer, can you get out to one of the metroparks for awhile? Just to walk around and take it in? I really like Oak Openings when it isn't too cold and wet.

Hugs to you!

 

[StitchesGr8Fan]

Hi Terri,

I too have been diagnosed with depression. Mine started when I was a teenager. I know the feeling of despair. I have had many days when it was all I could do to get out of bed. Sometimes I did not even do that. I finally got to the point where I had to do something after my DD was born. I have been on a couple different meds. So if one didn't work please think about trying others. I also have just recently been having anxiety. I have had a few panic attacks. I also had to take a break from the boards to work on me. I guess I am telling you all this so you don't feel all alone. I am right there fighting everyday too.

Pixie dust and happy thoughts for all who have the blues. We are here for you!

 

[SoScary'09]

I'm really glad you went ahead and openly posted this. It's a good sign! Getting stuff out there in the open is the best thing you can do for yourself, be it crying or writing or whatever it is you need to do. Like you said, family and friends are the most important thing you can have, especially when you're going through such times. (I've been there, and I'm not just saying this to say it) Keep them close, and let them know how you feel. They're there for your support!<3

 

[pal-mickey]

Sending good thoughts your way. I think the fact that you can share your feelings is a good thing. I have a son who has alot of behavior problems. I was always embarassed to tell anyone the things that went on, but when I started to talk about it with friends and co-workers it made it alot easier to get thru the day.

 

[EDuke98080]

I hope you feel better soon!