Why does someone always have to rain on your parade?

[tiff211]

I was talking to DD's grandmother last night and I told her about our trip. She immediately tells me we should not be spending money on a trip like that, we need to save it since we are having another baby. I told her we are using money from our tax return and I won some money for recruiting someone for the home party business I do so it is kind of extra money. She said if you have any bills then there is no such thing as "extra" money. So my guilt trip begins. I even tell DH that maybe she was right and we should pay off bills and/or save the money DH reassured me by saying we should still go, the bills will always be there. He also said for me to even try to tell DD4 that we are not going! LOL!

 

[3mickeys&me]

Don't let other people tell you what to do with your $ and your vacation. Go and have a great time with your family.

 

[MrsBanks]

Don't sweat it, they'll always be bills to pay - your DD will only be little once - enjoy every minute of your trip and don't think of your MIL once, and who the heck does she think she is trying to tell you what you should do with YOUR money????

 

[DMAMom]

Unless you owe here money - then don't worry about it!!!!! We have bills too and probably should put our money towards that - but we are going to Disney and we don't care!!!

 

[Tinkim]

I don't know. I think some people just enjoy the reaction it causes. My DH's mom made me feel guilty about taking an "expensive" trip to WDW a few weeks ago. My DH assured her that I work an extra job for this trip and the kids and I deserved a nice vacation. I told DH last night that sometimes I feel guilty spending so much money on a vacation but on the other hand I am also quite sure the money would have gotten spent elsewhere and we still wouldn't have it in our hands. I am working on paying off debts also but if I have extra money I don't see a problem with spending it how I choose. You only live once and as long as you are not being completely financially irresponsible then I don't worry about what other people have to say. I have a friend who has been going through very financially challenging times since I have known her mostly due to circumstances beyond her control. It bugs DH that a few times when she has had "found" money that she has foolishly spent it but I understand how she feels when she has the money. She wants to buy something frivolous that she normally wouldn't or put some away for vacation to WDW. That is her choice and I tell him he has to respect that even if he doesn't agree with it.

 

[grlpwrd]

It could be the value differences in generations. I don't know how old she is, of course, but a generation or more ago people tended more to save, save, save without really thinking about luxuries and most people think a vacation is a luxury - a want not a need. I think it's a natural response being that you are expecting, too.

Don't let it bother you and don't feel guilty. She probably worries about you all.

BTW we are taking a trip this summer back to Hawaii and I am pregnant with baby number 5. One last hurrah before being on "baby duty" again. Have fun and take care of yourself!

 

[lovethattink]

Some people delight in making others miserable, which is sad. Whether or not your husband and you can swing it financially is your business and nobody else's.

 

[TSirgey]

You can't let family members outside your household interfere with your immediate family decisions. They do not know enough about your financial situation to make an educated statement. We went to WDW last year and we are going again 14 months later. I don't feel guilty about it at all. It makes my family happy and my dd is only going to be 4 once!

 

[Shagley]

Don't waste any time feeling guilty about this. If you wait until your bills are all paid off before you do anything fun, your DD won't have any fun memories of her childhood. I think everyone needs to take a vacation every now and then to get away from the reality of work and bills, and just have fun. The bills will be there when you return, plus you will have lots of fun memories that you DD will remember for the rest of her life.

 

[phorsenuf]

I was talking to DD's grandmother last night and I told her about our trip. She immediately tells me we should not be spending money on a trip like that, we need to save it since we are having another baby. I told her we are using money from our tax return and I won some money for recruiting someone for the home party business I do so it is kind of extra money. She said if you have any bills then there is no such thing as "extra" money. So my guilt trip begins. I even tell DH that maybe she was right and we should pay off bills and/or save the money DH reassured me by saying we should still go, the bills will always be there. He also said for me to even try to tell DD4 that we are not going! LOL!

Boy does that sound familiar! Ignore it....its just gonna get worse! LOL

BTW, is this your mother or your MIL?

 

[toystorymom]

I don't know why people do this! I had a similar experience yesterday though. I mentioned to a friend that we were thinking of taking the kids back to WDW in August, and she immediately started with, "I'd never go to Florida in August", "It will be miserable", "I'd never do that with 3 kids" (she has none). I don't think that people realize what a damper they put on other people's excitement when they make comments like this, even if that was not the intention.

Our point was, we were at Disney for Christmas and it was freezing! We have 4 plusses left on our passes and thought it would be fun to visit the water parks. We also have 1 hopper day left and the kids are begging to visit SeaWorld. With them in school, choices of vacation weeks are limited so we do the best we can.

As for your case, I agree, go now while you can. We'd never leave the house if we had to wait for ALL the bills to be paid!! Go, have fun, and keep the bill to yourself!!

 

[ducklite]

As long as you are making ends meet, paying bills on time, and stashing some away in savings, I say tell Granny to butt out, carrying a manageable debt isn't a reason to forgo a vacation.

On the other hand, if you've got not paid on time bills/collection accounts/judgements/huge credit card debts and are barely keeping your heads above water, then maybe you might want to pay attention to Granny.

Anne

 

[Maureenmouse]

WOW!! I thought my mother was the only one who said things like that. She has already told us to cancel our trip this summer because she thinks it's too expensive. I never even told her the cost. She's just is going by the commercials. then when she found out that we have the dining plan, she said well then don't spend any more money since you're getting too much food as it is. She's quite stingy when it comes to money. we're paying for our own trip. I figure if it's our money, then we csan use it as we please. also, try to tell my DDs 5 and 2 that they can't go to meet Mickey,Pooh and the princesses. this is their first trip. we won't take it away!

 

[tiff211]

Boy does that sound familiar! Ignore it....its just gonna get worse! LOL

BTW, is this your mother or your MIL?

LOL! Neither it's my ex's boyfriends mother who I am very close with. She actually is like a second mother (sometimes more like a mother/grandmother than my own). BUt at that moment I felt like saying "maybe if your son paid for his child like he was supposed to, we would have bills" but I was very good. Just had positive Disney thoughts and found my happy place, LOL!

 

[Laura66]

I think that her generation is very different from ours and it's very hard for them to understand how freely we spend money in this day and age.
Is she really concerned about you? Then just thank her for worrying about you and leave it at that.
I will tell you that I have a friend who is ALWAYS crying about how she has no money, too many bills and she conitinues to drive new cars, eat out and go on vacation. It drives me NUTS!!!!

Laura

 

[sanctus]

You know what? This is up to you and your husband. Period. It's like all the other unwanted parenting advice I've gotten over the years. Give it the least reaction you can manage. Try something along the lines of "I can understand you seeing it that way, but this is what we've decided." Or "well, that's certainly something to think about" But don't let it steal your joy.

 

[disnutt]

Save some money by not sending her a postcard!

 

[Evil Queen]

My Mom use to be like this, but she has chilled since knowing, it's a great "mental health" break for all of us. DS22 has to deal with being Bi-polar and me-depression. This gives us a much needed break. My DS9 deals with Asperger's so even though ia Disney trip can be a bit unsettling for him, he still longs to go and is learning to deal with the surroundings of Disney. He talks about his excitement more than the rest of us of upcoming trips.

I too use tax returns and budget hard and heavy before going. Bills are paid before Disney money comes out, so the most that should happen we would go with a bit less spending money.

Plus, she realizes it's my money and having not only the depression but health issues (nerve damage, scoliosis, etc) I need a break, before long I may not be able to enjoy things like this with my kids.

Kind of off subject, but still within, I have a nice life insurance policy and my kids will have money for several years and I have asked my parents to leave in their will what was promised me, to my kids. Of course, my few worldly goods will go to my kids too. I have almost no debt (after years of working at this).

So, in other words, it's really not her concern, but I think I have much of her "concerns" covered.

 

[mscoryb]

Are you kidding??? Never, I repeat.... NEVER feel guilty about exposing your children to the Magic of the Mouse! She is just jealous.... she needs a little pixie dust in her life!

 

[TxDisneyFan]

My Evil side is coming out....

Just tell her that you are saving money by not taking her with you.
BWHHAAAAA....

Sorry, have a great trip and don't worry about her.