Why do people bring nanny's?

[DisneyArk]

On our last trip we saw a very sad situation with a nanny. For some reason, that day our WL bus picked up at GF. A family got on - the mom and dad went to sit in the middle of the bus with their daughter - the nanny was carrying several bags and holding a little boy and the mom told her to sit in front of them. The boy wanted to sit with his mom and she let him. I'm guessing their little girl was about 5 and she looked perfect. The boy was squirming in his seat and his mom yelled to the nanny "Come get him away from me and don't let him grab me over the seat!" The little boy started crying mommy, mommy and reaching for her. The mother took the little girl and moved to the back of the bus!

I was heart broken for the little boy. This was early in the morning and it looked like it was going to be a very sad day for him.

I know that most families are not like that. I have a friend who takes a baby-sitter with them on vacation. She has the baby-sitter do most of the "work", but they do still spend family time together. I personally choose not to take a sitter.

 

[jackskellingtonsgirl]

I have been a professional nanny for 12 years. I have seen and heard enough in that span that NOTHING surprises me.

This is my career. I have my own family, I don't need to be taken in by my employers. I am perfectly happy to stay at home with the children when they travel, but I am compensated for the additional time at a rate well above my normal salary. If I was asked to travel with them we would have a separate written agreement to cover the terms of my duties during the trip, I wouldn't just be grateful to be invited. And all of my expenses would have to be paid for me to even consider it. People don't travel for their corpaorate jobs and pay their own way. Same thing here.

Some people are completely clueless when it comes to their own kids. They can't manage them, so the nanny comes along because she is the only one who can get the kids to behave! This is FAR more common than you might imagine.

Some nannies probably DO complain about their employers. While that behavior is highly unprofessional, you get what you pay for. The ones most likely to complain openly about their bosses are the ones who were very likely not qualified to begin with! Some families hire substandard caregivers simply so they can say they have a nanny. It isn't so much about having good care for their kids, it's about status.

 

[yyzgurl]

We also have a 2 yo and taking afternoon naps and early bedtime is just all a part of having a child that age. I work 2 days a week and we don't have a nanny. I'm not bashing people who have one, but personally , I don't want one. I'd rather do for my kids, they just grow up way too fast.

It's funny that people who say they aren't bashing really think that by saying they are "not bashing" renegs any negative undertone in their message.

I guarantee you that my DS2 is not losing out by us having a nanny. He spends 90% of his free time with us and the other 10% with others (nanny, grandparents, etc.) Saying "I'd rather do for my kids" implies that those of us with nanny's do not, which is a pretty outrageous thing to state. In my opinion, having your kids with you 100% of the time is not the healthiest thing for them. Yes, we have a nanny. It's because we have a nanny that we can spend quality time with our son. I don't have to waste precious time making meals, doing laundry, or cleaning the house. All my spare time is spent with DS2 doing things focused on us and him.

But we also send our son to preschool half day, 5 days a week. Do we have to? No. We could keep him at home, but you should see how much he LOVES school and asks about it on the days he doesn't go. In fact, while at WDW, he asked if he could go to school!

Now, I agree there are those who have nannies and expect them to raise their children. I cringe when I see people like that. They are missing out on the most rewarding time of their lives. I really don't have an explanation for those people...

 

[bavaria]

I haven't read all the posts in this thread, but I was in a group of 10 including Nanny last year.

My friend has two kids who were 1 and 3 yo at the time, and another family brought their 3 yo. The Nanny had been working for the family for about 20 years in various capacities, and since it was a reunion they didn't consider leaving her at home. Plus, she evened out the ages as my friend's mother came along, and had company her own age. (They mainly sat on benches with baby watching all of us big kids enjoy ourselves)

Most nights Nanny and Baby came with us, some nights they stayed at the hotel (GF).

I didn't find it odd - my friend's family has always had the support from this person. Plus, I was a nanny myself for about 4 years for a family, and they treated me as family. I even learned some Hebrew and attended family and religious gatherings with them. While I didn't vacation with them, I wouldn't have considered it odd if they had invited me...

 

[yyzgurl]

They often say moms are on call 24/7. Are nannies on call 24/7 when they go on vacation with the family they work for? The family is on vacation. Are they? Does the nanny sleep with the kids or does she get her own room? Do the kids sleep with the parents? Does the nanny get her salary as well as the trip since she is working? Or does the family think the trip is her salary? What if she doesn't really want to go on vacation with the family? Does she still get to take a vacation on her own without the family?

Just wondering.

Our nanny gets paid to work 8 hours a day. We pay her overtime if she's on-call more than that. That doesn't mean she "works" for 8 hours but rather that she is available if we need her during that time.

She gets her own room and DS2 gets his own room. Thank goodness for villas! She gets paid her regular salary plus all her expenses paid. She also still gets her own two weeks of vacation a year.

 

[vetrik]

Here's my experience - to throw another possibility into the mix.

I went to DW 6 years ago as a nanny. I watched their son every summer for 4 years, and I also worked for the company that the husband and wife both owned. They were both veterinarians, and the annual conference that year was in Disney World. They decided to both attend the conference, and they wanted to use the opportunity to take their son to DW for the first time. They brought me along to take the son to the parks and watch him while they were at the conference. However, they also took a couple days off from the conference, and we all went to the parks together. I'm sure at that point, it looked like they had brought a nanny for their 6 year old only child!

 

[auntpolly]

Oh, my this is refreshing! A thread that's bound to get locked that has nothing to do with Katrina!

Carry on!

 

[llp479]

We had 7 au pair's live with us in the last 8 years. Our final au pair left us this June to return to Zimbabwe. All of those wonderful young ladies are as dear to me as my own 3 dds. We're even god-parents to two of their children. These women ARE our family and we would never not consider taking them with us on vacation. We even had an au pair return from Australia to go with us to WDW this summer and she may come back next summer to go to HI with us, not as our au pair, but as family.

I know there are many people who don't look at their au pair/nanny as family, but there are many of us who do. I also know that those 7 young women would give their lives for my dds and love them every bit as much as my DH and I do.

Did I NEED them to go with us to WDW, no. Did I WANT them with us to share in the joy of being together at WDW - yes.

 

[SnackyStacky]

A warning to all of you to please refrain from personal attacks.

Calling someone a bad parent would be in the same category as a personal attack.

 

[Mickeyhugger]

People really need to stop being so judgemental. People do what is right for their families.

If people WEREN'T judgemental at all, there wouldn't be any definition of right and wrong.

Maybe we should all ask the children (those who are being RAISED by nannies?) They're seeing that parents dual-careers are more important than they are. (Okay, this comment is intended for those who obviously don't need a second income, which I'm sure there are many.)

 

[NCombs]

If people WEREN'T judgemental at all, there wouldn't be any definition of right and wrong.

Maybe we should all ask the children (those who are being RAISED by nannies?) They're seeing that parents dual-careers are more important than they are. (Okay, this comment is intended for those who obviously don't need a second income, which I'm sure there are many.)

That is so not true.

Obviously, any kind of positive discussion with you is not possible because you will continue to judge and criticize people you know nothing about.

 

[awatt]

"If people WEREN'T judgemental at all, there wouldn't be any definition of right and wrong."


You're right. We should all definitely use an internet message board as our moral compass. ROFL. I think I'll look elsewhere for guidance, thanks.

 

[can'twait]

vatmark, I don't know where you live, but the cost of living where I live is ridiculous. Both DH and I must work to keep our heads above water. We don't live extravagantly. Besides, nobody knows what everyone's financial situation is, so it's difficult to ask why they can't afford to stay home or this or that or whatever.

I was torn about returning to work after my kids wer born, but I am SO glad now. I was able to keep a great job, and they got to make lots of friends at daycare and preschool. I know having a nanny can be less expensive than having 2 or more kids in daycare, but in the end I just could not bring myself to leave my kids with a stranger in my house. At least at daycare and school there are other teachers and supervisors who can monitor the teachers' behaviour. Let's face it, you can never REALLY know what goes on in your home when you are not there and babies and young children cannot tell you what is going on. That freaked me out. Unless it was a family member, NO WAY! (And sometimes family is even worse, but that's another thread!) But, that being said, to each his own. I have a friend who obtained a nanny through another family that outgrew her, and it works for her, so that's great for her but I don't think I could do it myself.

Just my 2 cents...

 

[wintergreen]

If people WEREN'T judgemental at all, there wouldn't be any definition of right and wrong.

Yeesh . . .

 

[jackskellingtonsgirl]

They often say moms are on call 24/7. Are nannies on call 24/7 when they go on vacation with the family they work for? The family is on vacation. Are they? Does the nanny sleep with the kids or does she get her own room? Do the kids sleep with the parents? Does the nanny get her salary as well as the trip since she is working? Or does the family think the trip is her salary? What if she doesn't really want to go on vacation with the family? Does she still get to take a vacation on her own without the family?

Just wondering.

This is entirely up to the family and the nanny to work out, in writing, before they ever leave home.

I know dozens of nannies from all across the country, so the situations are as varied as they come.

Some families DO put the kids in a hotel room with the nanny and she is responsible for them. I am sure some families probably do try to subtract the nanny's expenses from her salary, but I think that is wrong. If travel is REQUIRED by the family then by all means the nanny should be allowed more vacation time of her choosing, because it is NOT a vacation to have someone else's children to look after all week.

I have a very friendly relationship with my employers and I love my charges, but this is a job. They are not my family, and the more that line is blurred the more difficult it is to maintain perspective on the employee/employer relationship.

I would like to respectfully point out that au pairs are not nannies. Au pairs are young (college age) ladies from abroad. They travel to the US or other countries to live and work for a period of one year. During that time they are usually required to take courses and they are not allowed to work more than a set number of hours each week. It is more like having an exchange student, so the dynamics of the relationship are a bit different.

 

[auntpolly]

Oh for heaven sakes you people who bring nannies or babysitters or whatever don't have to defend yourselves like this! C'mon! Anyone who wants to try to tell you what to do with your own family has too much time on her hands!

This is a very silly argument as far as I'm concerned! Of course you can bring help if you want! It's your family!

 

[Nancyg56]

WOW, it really hot in here!!!!!!!!!!!

Just my .02 worth. My DD went with my sister on several vacations. She was staying with her in order to complete her senior year, and helped her with the kids during the week. I was always close by, as was my mom, so supervision was never an issue. The entire experience was a positive one for the kids, my DS and my DD. My sisters girls adored my DD..her friends came for their birthday parties, and did big sister things with them. The boys learned a lot about big sisters from my DD. I'm sure that my DS could have managed quite well without my DD, in fact had always done so, but it was nice having her to help look after the kids during a busy vacation. DD loved the extra vacation.

Today, my DGD spends a great deal of time with my lovely nieces and their friends, just as they had done with my DD and her friends. My DD appreciates the respite and my DGD thinks the attention is fantastic. The relationship that developed was worth any naysayers wondering about the personal family decisions that we made. I think that it is always interesting that people think that the only way is their way.

 

[roliepolieoliefan]

It's funny that people who say they aren't bashing really think that by saying they are "not bashing" renegs any negative undertone in their message.

I guarantee you that my DS2 is not losing out by us having a nanny. He spends 90% of his free time with us and the other 10% with others (nanny, grandparents, etc.) Saying "I'd rather do for my kids" implies that those of us with nanny's do not, which is a pretty outrageous thing to state. In my opinion, having your kids with you 100% of the time is not the healthiest thing for them. Yes, we have a nanny. It's because we have a nanny that we can spend quality time with our son. I don't have to waste precious time making meals, doing laundry, or cleaning the house. All my spare time is spent with DS2 doing things focused on us and him.

But we also send our son to preschool half day, 5 days a week. Do we have to? No. We could keep him at home, but you should see how much he LOVES school and asks about it on the days he doesn't go. In fact, while at WDW, he asked if he could go to school!

Now, I agree there are those who have nannies and expect them to raise their children. I cringe when I see people like that. They are missing out on the most rewarding time of their lives. I really don't have an explanation for those people...

I'm sorry but if you think I'm bashing so be it. I also think its crazy to send a 2 yo old to "school". He will be in school half his life, why start so young. He may like it now, but to me thats just the quicker he'll get burned out on it. And good for you that you have someone to cook , clean and do your laundry so you can spend"quality" time with your son. We don't have the money for a nanny or au pair or whatever you call it, so I'm the poor slob who has to do it myself. Like I said before, I like spending time with my children. They grow up wayyy too fast. And when my kids do something for the 1st time, I don't want the nanny telling me about it, I want to see it myself.

 

[auntpolly]

I'm sorry but if you think I'm bashing so be it. I also think its crazy to send a 2 yo old to "school".

Oh, no, calling people crazy for sending a child to preschool isn't bashing,
I'm sure you meant it in the nicest kind of way!

When my DD was 2 1/2 she was in the most adorable little preschool class. She's 21 and still remembers things fondly, like their Halloween parade and their teddy bear tea parties. Please believe me I loved spending time with her, but I happen to think that she got some great experiences that, oddly enough, did not involve me!!

C'mon you guys! Lay off the moms who choose have help with their kids! You are starting for freak me out!

 

[jackskellingtonsgirl]

For the most part nannies are not all purpose domestic employees. Their duties are limited to childcare and child related tasks such as the children's laundry and preparing the children's meals.

Housekeepers do family laundry, cooking, cleaning, ironing etc. Some housekeepers will do some occasional babysitting. Families typically do not employ a nanny to allow the parents more quality time with the children.