Why do I want a baby NOW?

[AngieBelle]

I totally understand how you are feeling. I'm in a similar situation. I had to have one ovary removed due to an operation, and a durmoid has started to form on the other. I always thought I'd have plenty of time for children, but now there is potential for a time limit.

I'm in my early twenties and have been getting strong desires to care for and love a child of my own. That feeling is especially strong at my job in which I get to hug children all day. I'm in no situation to have children right now though. At this point in my life, I wouldn't be able to afford it.

I do have a wonderful long term loving boyfriend...who as of now doesn't want children! Logic says we really shouldn't stay together because of that issue, but we are much too attatched to each other to just break it off. It's heartbreaking. We both get depressed every time the subject comes up. He does love children- he works at WDW too and is wonderful with them, being such a big kid himself. He just doesn't want to be responsible for raising them.

I hope everything goes well with you!

 

[chell]

I'm so sorry you are going through this.

I will say this. Two parents are beneficial. I'm not talking role model stuff - I'm talking waking up 5 times a night with a sick kid, newborn feedings, school schedules, post-partum "I need a break", type of things. I could raise my daughters alone if I had to, but I would not choose to. These are of course temporary but when you are staring at the red-faced screaming newborn for the third hour in a row wishing you were anywhere but there, you start to realize the benefit of someone to pass that baby off to!

Parenthood is wonderful, but you really need to think it through. A baby meant to heal anything is a BAD idea. That's a lot of pressure to put on a little person who cannot deliver. Make sure you want this for the right reasons, then think about it some more. You can always become a mother (one way or another), you cannot give a baby back once they are here.

Thankfully all of my family is close by and I know that if I need that type of break they will help me out. Who is to say a spouse would do that?

Hopefully I haven't given the impression that I want a baby to heal anything. There is nothing in my life that a baby could heal except maybe my desire to have a child of my own.

Like I have already said, I've thought about this for years. I've spent the past 20 some years trying to convince myself that I didn't want a child when in fact I do. This is something I have buried within myself for years and years and years. Just now I am finally admitting it to myself and others. Believe me, this isn't something I've taken lightly.

 

[chell]

Thanks Angie. HUGE HUGS to you!!!

 

[mrsltg]

Thankfully all of my family is close by and I know that if I need that type of break they will help me out. Who is to say a spouse would do that?

Hopefully I haven't given the impression that I want a baby to heal anything. There is nothing in my life that a baby could heal except maybe my desire to have a child of my own.

Like I have already said, I've thought about this for years. I've spent the past 20 some years trying to convince myself that I didn't want a child when in fact I do. This is something I have buried within myself for years and years and years. Just now I am finally admitting it to myself and others. Believe me, this isn't something I've taken lightly.

I'm glad your family can help when needed. It will make a BIG difference! You didn't given the impression that you wanted a baby for any other reason than wanting a baby. I brought up the healing as a possibility because of what some of the other posters have said regarding your situation with dh. It's just something to think about. I have lost a child and the desire to have another was almost overwhelming at times. Many of the mothers I know who have lost children feel the same way. I'm sure loosing a spouse can bring that on, too. Just try to be as sure as you can. Good luck!