scottishduffy
<font color=green>I was walking around and providi
- Joined
- Aug 21, 2007
- Messages
- 1,429
My MIL is a chronically late person. She honestly does it on purpose as some sort of power trip move, she likes to know people wait for her.
DH and I started not waiting for her years ago.she has gotten better about it with us after we started dinners without her and cut visits short. She is still not punctual, but now she is usually only 30 minutes off instead of 60-90 off.
Before any get together with her DH and I decide what time we are willing to stay out until and then we stick to it. So if dinner is at 7 pm, we decide we want to be home at 9:30 We get to restaurant and will wait about 20 minutes or so before ordering appetizers and starting our meal. We are having a meal and eating either way. If she decides to be 90 minutes late then she will only have thirty minutes with us before we leave. Boy was she ticked the first time we did this! We just won't wait for her anymore and have our evening without her.
Most recently DH and I had a baby! MIL said she was coming to our house to visit at 3pm. So I had the 3 week old baby fed, dressed, and ready for her. She kept dawdling at the hotel. At first said she forgot it was 3.... Then had to do her hair.... Then it was sprinkling outside and would ruin her hair. DH and I decided the latest time we would accept a visitor and called her every hour or so to see if she was ready to come over. At 8 pm we called and said sorry! She could not see the baby today. Of course at that time she swears she is just on her way out the door. Nope! No baby for you, we have an infant who needs sleep and you missed it by being late. The next time her butt was on time to see the baby.
It is an annoying and disrespectful habit. We can not control her but we can set boundaries on how long we are willing to wait and we can start the fun without her.
DH and I started not waiting for her years ago.she has gotten better about it with us after we started dinners without her and cut visits short. She is still not punctual, but now she is usually only 30 minutes off instead of 60-90 off.
Before any get together with her DH and I decide what time we are willing to stay out until and then we stick to it. So if dinner is at 7 pm, we decide we want to be home at 9:30 We get to restaurant and will wait about 20 minutes or so before ordering appetizers and starting our meal. We are having a meal and eating either way. If she decides to be 90 minutes late then she will only have thirty minutes with us before we leave. Boy was she ticked the first time we did this! We just won't wait for her anymore and have our evening without her.
Most recently DH and I had a baby! MIL said she was coming to our house to visit at 3pm. So I had the 3 week old baby fed, dressed, and ready for her. She kept dawdling at the hotel. At first said she forgot it was 3.... Then had to do her hair.... Then it was sprinkling outside and would ruin her hair. DH and I decided the latest time we would accept a visitor and called her every hour or so to see if she was ready to come over. At 8 pm we called and said sorry! She could not see the baby today. Of course at that time she swears she is just on her way out the door. Nope! No baby for you, we have an infant who needs sleep and you missed it by being late. The next time her butt was on time to see the baby.
It is an annoying and disrespectful habit. We can not control her but we can set boundaries on how long we are willing to wait and we can start the fun without her.
