Why can't I be like this?

[FergieTCat]

I have a friend that drives me crazy, and yet I'm envious at the same time. She is NEVER on time because she miscalculates how long it will take to get somewhere. For instance, if she has an appointment at 12:30, she'll leave her house at 12:20 and inevitably be 10 or 15 minutes late. Which doesn't bother her. She always says "They'll wait." My brother is the same way.

Why can't I be like that??? I am always punctual and always end up waiting for the other person. Sometimes if I know the person is habitually late, I'll show up late, but I'm still always the first person there.

Inconsiderate, maybe, but it seems so less stressful.

 

[anniemae]

I don't know, but I am like you.....always on time or early. I always leave for things waaaaay to early and sometimes wind up sitting in my car. I think it was drilled into me as a kid that it is rude to keep people waiting.

used to have a friend who was always late for everything, and I always wound up hanging around waiting for her at restaurants and such. Even though I KNEW she would be late, I still HAD to show up on time. Go figure.......

 

[tlbwriter]

Why can't you be that way? Um... because you're polite? Considerate of other people's feelings and schedules? Able to remember how long it took you to get there the last time you went? A freaking grownup???

 

[HM]

I don't envy those that are late habitually. My sister is one of them. My BF in high school was as well. With my BF, we used to tell her a time 15 minutes earlier than we needed to be somewhere, so she'd be close to being on time.

I am a prompt and punctual person, and it makes me slightly crazy if I'm running late. But, I think it's more important to be on time.

Is your friend late for work? Is she late for doctor's appointments? haircuts? These are the types of places that I can't see being late to.

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

I am a Type A and can't stand being late for anything. My wife doesn't care about these things. We balance one another well.

 

[Klismania]

She always says "They'll wait." My brother is the same way.

Speaking for myself, no I won't. I've been known to leave people behind before because they weren't there at an agreed upon time and I'll do it again. Sorry, but it's an exaggerated sense of narcicism to think that the whole world will wait for you and it's all about you.


When it's really all about me.

 

[saremca]

I hate being late and I hate when other people are chronically late. It's narcissistic and rude.

 

[mickey&minnie04]

Because you care about other people.....My SIL & BIL are the same way! We have to tell them to be there a half hour before anything really starts just so that they can get there on time! It's soooo frustrating because my husband & I will get where we need to be 10 -15 minutes early and then they are 30 minutes late so that means we've been waiting 40-45 minutes! Some people just aren't considerate of others!

 

[Butwhyistherumgone?]

Why can't you be that way? Um... because you're polite? Considerate of other people's feelings and schedules? Able to remember how long it took you to get there the last time you went? A freaking grownup???

 

[bluesaturn]

Timing can be very cultural. Americans in general tend to greatly value punctuality. I notice that Asians (in general) are much more flexible with timing. I think other ethnicities (African American, Latino) are flexible about timing as well, but I'm most familiar with Asian.

Now I don't think there's an excuse for being late to work, classes, etc., and most people I know (of all cultures) aren't. But if we're talking strictly social engagements, I don't think Asians are concerned about exact timing. It's just not emphasized. Of course, if everyone is running late then everyone gets there at the same time and it's not really an issue.

It seems that Americans see punctuality as more of an aspect of your character, an important part of manners, a sign of respect, etc. And that is all fine, but I just don't think other cultures value punctuality as much as Americans.

 

[NY Disney fan]

Lateness is a symptom of a messy life.

 

[bluesaturn]

Because you care about other people.....My SIL & BIL are the same way! We have to tell them to be there a half hour before anything really starts just so that they can get there on time! It's soooo frustrating because my husband & I will get where we need to be 10 -15 minutes early and then they are 30 minutes late so that means we've been waiting 40-45 minutes! Some people just aren't considerate of others!

See, I just don't get why people get places early. Yes it's annoying that they are 30 minutes late. But why do you get there 15 minutes earlier than that?

I'm sure it's so you will still be on time if something happens, traffic or whatever. I guess that's how a punctual person thinks. But it never ever occurs to me to get somewhere early (for a social thing), it's a completely foreign concept. I swear there are such cultural differences in the value of punctuality.

 

[NY Disney fan]

See, I just don't get why people get places early. Yes it's annoying that they are 30 minutes late. But why do you get there 15 minutes earlier than that?

Because prompt people usually factor in traffic and other obstacles when they plan something.

 

[ols386]

Because you are polite and considerate of other people and their time.

 

[NMAmy]

Inconsiderate, maybe, but it seems so less stressful.

It seems way more stressful to me. My dd finally gets that it's better to be early and bored than late and stressed out. I think she finally saw the light when a friend's mother barely got her and the friend to the airport on time and they almost missed their flight.

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

See, I just don't get why people get places early. Yes it's annoying that they are 30 minutes late. But why do you get there 15 minutes earlier than that?

I'm sure it's so you will still be on time if something happens, traffic or whatever. I guess that's how a punctual person thinks. But it never ever occurs to me to get somewhere early (for a social thing), it's a completely foreign concept. I swear there are such cultural differences in the value of punctuality.

Arriving early for a party is considered to be far more rude than arriving "fashionably late".

 

[bluesaturn]

Arriving early for a party is considered to be far more rude than arriving "fashionably late".

I completely agree. But I still know people who do it and I honestly do not understand why.

 

[tlbwriter]

Timing can be very cultural. Americans in general tend to greatly value punctuality. I notice that Asians (in general) are much more flexible with timing. I think other ethnicities (African American, Latino) are flexible about timing as well, but I'm most familiar with Asian.

Now I don't think there's an excuse for being late to work, classes, etc., and most people I know (of all cultures) aren't. But if we're talking strictly social engagements, I don't think Asians are concerned about exact timing. It's just not emphasized. Of course, if everyone is running late then everyone gets there at the same time and it's not really an issue.

It seems that Americans see punctuality as more of an aspect of your character, an important part of manners, a sign of respect, etc. And that is all fine, but I just don't think other cultures value punctuality as much as Americans.

This is true, but it sounds like the OP is talking about someone who functions within a typical American culture that does value punctuality. If not, she'd say "What's the problem? It would be rude to get there so early!" instead of "They'll wait for me." She knows people are waiting.

And even if she is from a different culture, it's rude and presumptuous for her to inflict her own standards upon others who don't share that culture (and apparently the OP does not). I have a family member from the U.S. who lived in South America for many years and learned that if you want people at your house at 9:00, you invite them to come at 7:00. It would have been rude for her to invite them at 7:00 and lock the door and turn out the lights at 9:00, even though that was appropriate for her culture, because she was functioning within their culture.

 

[bluesaturn]

Because prompt people usually factor in traffic and other obstacles when they plan something.

Oh I know, that's why I said that in the next sentence of my post. I still have a hard time understanding why they think that way. But this is a social event, so not a matter of extreme importance. And you know the other people are usually late, or at least don't mind being late. So why do you just leave to get there exactly on time, and if something goes wrong call the others are say "running late we hit traffic".

 

[tlbwriter]

Oh I know, that's why I said that in the next sentence of my post. I still have a hard time understanding why they think that way. But this is a social event, so not a matter of extreme importance. And you know the other people are usually late, or at least don't mind being late. So why do you just leave to get there exactly on time, and if something goes wrong call the others are say "running late we hit traffic".

Because not everybody agrees with the bolded.