Why are men so gosh darn stubborn? Vent.. Update post #47..

[laurie31]

C. Ann, please note that MickeyMomofThree made a point of saying how she DROVE her DH to work all those times he went back so soon after surgery. That's because I'm pretty sure it would have been DUI for him to drive. General anesthesia takes a while to get out of your sytem (that's why Day 2 or Day 3 post op is the worst. All the good drugs wear off). Driving less than 24 hours after surgery is just not possible. Not legally, anyway.

After I had surgery on my wrist, I couldn't even go to the bathroom alone.(even in comfy pj's I couldn't pull own my pants one-handed...) I couldn't take the lid off the deoderant, I couldn't open a bottle of water. Driving was, as the British would say, right out. My surgery was much worse that a CT surgery, though. I fell and shattered my wrist and needed a plate and six screws to reconstruct it. He shouldn't have as much pain as I did, but he still won't be able to use the wrist until the doctor says it's safe to do so.

He may insist on going to work, but make sure he doesn't drive himself there.

 

[happygirl]

He will feel differently Thursday morning

 

[4nana]

If I remember your DSIL is in construction, isn't he C.Ann? Perhaps like my DH's, it is wear and tear after all the yrs. of carpentry with heavy tools. He probably wouldn't admit if it was...men are proud in weird ways, afraid it will jeopardize their job or that it may make them look like a whiney hiney or Lord forbid if they have to go out on disability for injury or seemingly minor surgery. Sadly many construction workers don't have an abundance of bennies and tough it out that way. I've seen my DH drag himself to work many a day in pain w/o complaining. At any rate, I wouldn't stress, he'll learn how hard to push, hopefully he will go by drs orders so he's heals properly
and completely.

Tell him I send prayers and best wishes for a successful surgery and speedy recovery.

 

[ICF]

Sorry, but I think that is a good character trait and really wouldn't want a husband that thought otherwise.
And yeah, I am like that, too.

i disagree....there are many things more important than work.

I would hope approving of that attitude doesnt mean that you would want a husband that puts work over family and wouldnt want to take vacation from work to do trips/activities with them.

 

[Saphire]

I understand everyone's concerns and of course he should not be working if he is going to injure his wrist. I just assumed he would be able to work while keeping the wrist 'quiet'.
I think it is better to start with a 'can do' attitude. If he runs into problems he can always go home. The doctor had agreed to two days. We are not talking heart surgery here.

 

[MickeyMomOfThree]

C. Ann, please note that MickeyMomofThree made a point of saying how she DROVE her DH to work all those times he went back so soon after surgery. That's because I'm pretty sure it would have been DUI for him to drive. General anesthesia takes a while to get out of your sytem (that's why Day 2 or Day 3 post op is the worst. All the good drugs wear off). Driving less than 24 hours after surgery is just not possible. Not legally, anyway.

After I had surgery on my wrist, I couldn't even go to the bathroom alone.(even in comfy pj's I couldn't pull own my pants one-handed...) I couldn't take the lid off the deoderant, I couldn't open a bottle of water. Driving was, as the British would say, right out. My surgery was much worse that a CT surgery, though. I fell and shattered my wrist and needed a plate and six screws to reconstruct it. He shouldn't have as much pain as I did, but he still won't be able to use the wrist until the doctor says it's safe to do so.

He may insist on going to work, but make sure he doesn't drive himself there.

Yes, absolutely true. All of his surgeries the doctors have said that he must have someone drive him. For this upcoming surgery he will be taking valium for the surgery. No way would he try to drive even if he felt OK, that is for sure. He would never be that reckless.

Like I said before, he works in IT. He sits at a desk. He did not type with that hand at all, but did what he could with his one good hand. Next week's surgery the doctors know he will be at work the next day (as long as he feels fine) and they were fine with it because of his line of work. I would say construction is much different.

To the PP who said we need the money, my DH is salary. Always has been. That has not been the issue. The issue was if he was just sitting at home he could just sit at work doing what he could. The less he takes off the less he has to catch up on. I get it, I may not like it but I get it. He wouldn't go if it was going to harm him, but with his CT surgery, he never took anything after the surgery for pain, had a huge cast/splint thing that kept it straight and safe, and it healed amazing.

Oh, and not all bosses are as understanding.

 

[Bob NC]

Lots of guys are like this.

I'm sure he appreciates having not only his wife, but, ALSO his mother in law ganging up on him over this.

 

[Topper]

and can you imagine the outrage if a man posted a thread titled:

"Why are women such nit-picking hens?"

 

[Liberty Belle]

and can you imagine the outrage if a man posted a thread titled:

"Why are women such nit-picking hens?"

A bit different, don't you think? I would liken it to a thread entitled "Why are women so emotional?" C-Ann did not name call.

 

[Topper]

A bit different, don't you think? I would liken it to a thread entitled "Why are women so emotional?" C-Ann did not name call.

Why are men ...............

Why are women............


Same broad generalization regardless of what the .............. stands for.

If her SIL is stubborn, she could have addressed that issue about him, not all men.

 

[Liberty Belle]

Why are men ...............

Why are women............


Same broad generalization regardless of what the .............. stands for.

I'm not a fan of broad generalization, either, but "Why are men so stubborn" is not as offensive as "Why are men such stubborn asses?"

 

[Topper]

IMHO, this thread would be better titled "Why is my DSIL so darn stubborn"

 

[Liberty Belle]

IMHO, this thread would be better titled "Why is my DSIL so darn stubborn"

 

[PixieTopaz]

IMHO, this thread would be better titled "Why is my DSIL so darn stubborn"

It does sound a bit Man Bashing.

 

[Disney Doll]

The moment a man I knew decided to do something stupid klike not listen to the MD's instructions, I'd assume that he was fine and his life in every aspect would go on as normal. Meaning, he'd be taking out the garbage and doing all the other things he'd probably be tring to beg off because of his hand surgery.
I have little patience for that.

 

[wdwfan16]

IMHO, this thread would be better titled "Why is my DSIL so darn stubborn"

And more important is why the need to tell the world this. It is a problem only for the DD, DGD and the DSil. They are on the only ones who lose the income now, if he does not work, or in the future if he gets hurt going back to early. Also they are the only ones who will have to alter their lift style if they have to drive him to/from work etc.

 

[laurie31]

I know there are those who would lose income in this situation, but I got the idea that it was not the case here. I got the impression that C Ann was worried that her SIL would do permanent damage by returning to work too early. Some posters have told how their family members HAVE been able (due to the nature of their work AND their personal response to the post-op pain) to go back sooner than the doctor said. Others have shared their experiences of lying on the couch taking pain pills.

The point is, no one knows which way things will go for them until AFTER the operation. C Ann's SIL needs to be prepared in case he is not ABLE to work, even though he may want to very much.

I'm all for a good work ethic too, but there's a big difference between calling in sick because it's a pretty day and you'd rather play golf, and calling in sick because you were under general anesthesia less than 24 hours earlier.

I hope C Ann's SIL has a quick and complication-free recovery.

 

[MouseEarsJenny]

Dunno. DH is going for a gall bladder removal on Thursday, and seems to think he'll recover instantly, too.

 

[goofyernmost]

What does he do for a living? Does he really think he's going to be able to type on a keyboard or pick up a telephone receiver? For that matter, does he really think he's going to even be able to grip a steering wheel?

I think he'll change his story once the surgery is done.

Arthroscopic (sp?) surgery is what is used primarily for carpel tunnel. If he doesn't do heavy lifting or other manual labor there really is no reason to not go to work. And yes you can grip a steering wheel and pick up a receiver and use a keyboard, just not as fast as usual.

When I had my first wrist done about 5 years ago it was a problem because I drove a bus for a living and pulling on the steering wheel did cause some discomfort (not outright pain). Last year when I had my other wrist done, I was a supervisor and didn't miss any time at all except for the actual day of surgery. It is way advanced over what they used to do, which was to actually cut open the carpal tunnel section and then have to sew it all back up. Much more evasive.

 

[Plannin'Shannon]

The point is, no one knows which way things will go for them until AFTER the operation. C Ann's SIL needs to be prepared in case he is not ABLE to work, even though he may want to very much.

I'm all for a good work ethic too, but there's a big difference between calling in sick because it's a pretty day and you'd rather play golf, and calling in sick because you were under general anesthesia less than 24 hours earlier.

I hope C Ann's SIL has a quick and complication-free recovery.

Ditto.