Why are high school girls so nasty to one another?

[doxdogy]

I am so sorry that this has happened to your poor daughter. How about if I hope for rain for you?

Unfortunately this cattiness does sometimes carryover into adulthood.

 

[OhMari]

I see you are leaving in 5 days. Why don't you take her out for supper or a movie, or take her shopping. I can't believe you know what is going on with your dd. My husband would have no clue. They don't call groups of girls "Mean" for nothing.

My dd just came home upset because she wasn't invited to a pool party. Actually 2. She just walked out the front door with her friend and I heard her friend tell her that she wasn't invited. She just walked her friend home and she just called my dd to pick her up, she is going to go along with her to the dentist, then they are going shopping.

I think my dd cannot wait for this year to end. My dd actually has more friends in the class behind her and one is actually her best friend. But this best friend has a serious boyfriend already-yikers.

 

[kejoda]

John have Sara tell this girl that she has 50,000 "aunts and uncles " that would like to have a chat with her.

 

[Sparx]

no advice, but I just wanted to say, not all highschool girls are like that, most are, but not all of them. and those girls are the main reason that most of my friends are guys. to your dd, could she and a friend go do something else tonight?

 

[allicat]

Let me tell you-the nastiness starts way before the girls hit high school. I see it with some of the girls in my daughters fourth grade.

 

[Beauty]

Alli is right, I'm like Robin I think it starts from the cradle. There are some girls, and women who live to gripe about others, make fun of others and call others names. Its really sad and I contribute it to them being misrable in their own lives. Why else would you live to make other people feel bad?

Good luck to Sarah, I think taking her shopping would be wonderful!!! Anything to take her mind off of things. You know its doubly bad that this is happening from a child that goes to the same church. We have both contemporary and traditional church services as well but I'm very thankful that I haven't seen any controversy from either and I enjoy both.

 

[malibuconlee]

How about taking her out to a really nice dinner and have your own little end of year celebration?

Women of all ages can be catty, but teenage girls are the worst!!

 

[Shutterbug]

need someone to file a noise complaint with the police about the noise of Rachels party?

 

[BrinxFam]

Unfortunately I understand exactly what you are talking about and I would love to know how to deal with it! I work with the teens at church. It is a very small church and there are only 6 in the group, one is my own. Two of the girls are just hateful to my DD. I have to keep reminding myself that they don't have the same type of home life DD has but I am just about at the end of my rope. I cannot and will not take their abuse any longer! Hopefully things will be worked out one way or another in just a couple of weeks.

Good luck though with your situation. You're not alone.

 

[Blondy876]

Because it is not as socially acceptable for them to beat the crap out of each other like boys do.

Rachel sounds like a little monster, good luck to your dd having to deal with that one.

 

[Towncrier]

DW Sue and DD Sarah are going shopping and then we are going to meet and go out to dinner. Sarah also got some driving practice in as well. Only her 2nd time behind the wheel and she was done after 40 minutes. So all in all, the day is not a complete loss.

Regarding the noise complaint, don't think that I haven't contemplated something along those lines. Or perhaps a call to the fire department to ask if they have the proper permit for a recreational fire, especially since today is an ozone action day in NE Ohio.

It's fun to think up nasty things to do, but I think we'll just let them have their party and we'll do our own thing.

Besides.....We're going to Disney World!!!

 

[HTH]

Have fun! ^_^

 

[Pam]

Belch... the teen years.

As the Mom to both a teen daughter and son - I can assure you that it's not just the girls. I think the boys just keep their battles and catfights to themselves.

Hope the night turns out to be a good one for Sarah.

Oh - and John - the same problem is happening at our Methodist Church with the Contemporary Service trying to take down the Traditional one. And these people call themselves Christians????

 

[KristaTX]

Poor Sarah . Hopefully y'all are having a nice dinner out right now.

It seems that boys tend to beat each other up physically, and girls beat each other up emotionally. Fortunately I've found many good female friends as I've gotten older, but it's no wonder that so many of us (male and female) learned as teenagers that friends of the opposite sex are sometimes much more easy to be around . I guess we got tired of that beating-each-other-up business.

 

[Pig Pen]

I work in an office of 30-40 something year old women and they are just as nasty to each other as high school girls. Somethings never change.

Me too! I am the supervisor and always refereeing fights. Sheesh.

 

[goofy4tink]

Poor Sarah. It's going on in my dd's 5th grade class also. I watch her struggle, day after day, and just want to cry. So, I know how you feel. We were lucky enough to have Rachel Simmons come to our school and talk to both the parents, in one meeting, and the girls in another meeting. She really had a lot of interesting things to say. What was really incredible to me was listening to those mothers, after the lecture, saying how awful girls could be and how upset they would be if their dd's had those types of experiences. I wonder what those moms would have done if they had been told that their dd's, were in fact, those mean girls?!!

And that contemporary service? I so feel your pain. Except in my case, our contemp. service is at 9:00 on Sundays, just before the traditional 10:15 service, and some of us are always being asked to sing at the first one, since we have to be there for choir later on anyway!!! I like the more contemp. music but I'm too traditional to go all the time. And they do tend to try to one-up the traditional service. Seems to be full of people that just want to get done with church earlier!!!

 

[DWDreams]

I don't have a dd that old YET but she's coming up on it as she is almost 12. A good friend of mine who has 3 girls told me about a book that I should read and then have dd read. It was amazing to me that this stuff happens in every woman's life no matter how old she is. I'd suggest it as summer reading for you and your dd and see if it can at least help her understand and how to cope. It's called Odd Girl Out: The hidden Culture of Agression in Girls by Rachel Simmons! From Amazon.com here is the review:

I'd like to second the recommendation of this book, if you have a daughter it's really a must read. My daughter happens to be 10, pre-teen, and I can already see this stuff developing.

The premise of it is that girls are taught not to be aggressive and to be "perfect" all the time, so in order to uphold this image at school and to peers' parents, there is this hidden code of aggression between girls where they use silence, exclusion, and social disuption to hurt another. It talks about how the undercurrents of this stuff are so soft, that many teachers can't pick up on the clues of it since the ones doing it present a different face to adults. The victim is left afloat, hurt and embarrassed, often too humiliated to tell any adult of their victimization.

Powerful and scary stuff. Kudos that you're daughter has presented these issues to you, and, although hurt, she recognizes it for what it is. It's a great idea to share this book with her, I think it could be empowering for her to realize to that a bully is a bully, but their targets don't have to be victims.

Best wishes.

 

[dmslush]

Can I suggest another book about teen girls? It is Queenbees and Wannabes It will give you amazing insight into the teenage girl mind.

 

[Tuffcookie]

John, Sarah is such a sweetie. She will be fine with you and Sue by her side. Unfortunately Sarah will probably run into more than 1 Rachel in her lifetime. In time, she will discover who her real friends are.

TC

 

[Disney1fan2002]

To be quite honest, there really is no reason that most of us act that way. Immaturity, I guess.

You hit the nail on the head..one word immaturity.

Middle school girls are nastier than HS girls. IMO.

I was tormented in school. But you know something? After my 10 grade year, I was not longer picked on. Sure, I didn't hang with the popular crowd, but they left us (me and my handful of friends) alone. By the time we were seniors, we even talked to each other!

I was even voted a superlative! ME, the outcast, and I was up against one of THE most popular girls. Basically, they "grew up".