I stuff DH's stocking - FULL OF SOCKS AND UNDERWEAR
No, really. Here's where the tradition started:
When I was a child, we didn't have much money. It was pretty obvious why my parents didn't exchange gifts. My father, however, ALWAYS got new underwear in his stocking.
My mom would always laugh and say, "guess you weren't very good this year! All you got was underwear". Of course, as a child, I enjoyed this comment year after year.
WELL... about a year ago my Mom was down visiting and she had one too many margarita's and explained to me WHY Dad got underwear all those years.
My father is probably the most square, analytical, type "A" personalities you would ever meet in your life. My grandma would always say that she never in her life EVER had to ask my father to clean his room - he just did it. My mom, on the other hand, is completely type "B". She is creative, fun, and consistantly forgets where she sets her car keys down.
My Mom and Dad did NOT live together before they got married. So, shortly after they got married and found out these strange personality differences about each other, my mother being the creative smart *** she is starting playing tricks on my Dad.
My dad used to wear tighty whities (eek.. I know... bad mental picture) and every day in the morning, he used to take them into the bathroom and fold them up and put them on the top right hand corner of the sink. That is how type "A" he is... he had to put them on the SAME corner of the sink day after day. My mother, trying to "break" him, started sabatoging his underwear.
One day, it was a handful of KY jelly in the crotch of his underwear. The next time, it was a big red smiley face drawn on the butt with red permanent marker (that, of course, he did not find until going into the locker room after playing an after work game of basket ball with his friends....
) One morning, she sewed the legs of his undies shut so when he went to put them on, he almost fell face first into the sink. Still another time, she ripped every 2rd stitch on the seam of the elastic around the waist of the undies so that by days end, the elastic had ripped completely off. My absolute favorite was, however, the time she bought a very small, inexpensive digital watch - set the alarm timer for a time when he was supposed to be in a meeting at work - and secretly sewed it into the flap of the undies. Needless to say, it did what it was supposed to and my father's crotch was beeping in the middle of his meeting
The reason my father got underwear in his stocking was not because Santa didn't like him - it was because my mother was slowly sabatoging his tighty whities and by Christmas he didn't have any left!!
Whew. That was long. Sorry. The story STILL makes me laugh!
I really felt sorry for Santa and his elves on Christmas Eve the time DS got the trampoline with the enclosure (1:00 a.m. and sleeting, pretty uncomfortable I would imagine).
