Which is worse: Finding spouse with mistress, prostitute or that (s)he's gay?

[Disney Doll]

I don't think anyonoe chooses to be gay. As far as we have come with gay rights, we still have a long way to go, so why would anyone choose a life that will be more difficult, fraught with more roadblocks etc.?

And I wouldn't think that if my husband suddenly realized he was gay that he had been lying to me. As others have posted, I think most people need time to come to the realization, or at least to come to the point where they can no longer live a lie. That's somewhat different than a lie.

 

[Camicar]

I voted for a prostitute being the worst because it is just soooo skivy to pay for sex and then to put your spouse at risk of contracting a disease from your illegal behavior... That's three strikes, you're out.

I don't think anyone "turns" gay -- I think they come to a realization of their true selves later than might be convenient and/or best for them and others. I think most gay people enter a heterosexual marriage honestly believing that they can make it work. That may be bec they are hoping truly to be able to repress their orientation or it may be that they are confused/can't articulate their feelings or it may be that as one of my gay friends said of an acquaintance, "He's so deeply repressed and in the closet, that he couldn't find a hanger to save his life."

 

[pfishgirl]

I said a Mistress..

If he is Gay, he didn't Choose to be Gay it just happens that way.. You are born with it, and it doesn't always show up right away.. You can only deny or supress it for so long..

Prostitute(s) well then it is just Sex or he is trying to fill something he feels he is missing.. Hopefully he uses protection and pays a Higher price for Class..

But, with a Mistress.. and not a one time thing.. That to me would be the Biggest smack in the face.. It means there is a "bond" on some level with this woman.. I think it would be harder to "fix" this in our relationship because he felt such a need to go to someone else then his own wife for whatever support she gives him..