Where to start??

[disneymom3]

I am wondering if anyone can help me with this. My DS7 is not quite "right" for lack of a better explanation. I just have a strong feeling that something is up. We homeschool and I have consulted with the local school about his handwriting skills which are atrocious. However they did not seem to think he would qualify for services based on the other academic info I showed them.

Here is the thing--he does not move right, he just seems awkward and stiff. When he tries to climb down things he doesn't always seem to know where his body is in space.

He also is extremely sensitive to sounds and textures are not exactly something he likes either. He doesn't like new situations but deals with them eventually with a lot of support and encouragement.

However, he LOVES other kids and handles peer relations with ease and makes friends like nobody's business, though he never remembers people's names. (I have talked to many other moms who have said the same thing about their 7 yos. as far as the name thing goes.)

He also cannot get the concept of money or the idea of time--he stinks at telling time but even more has no idea of how to relate the passage of time. ie. his estimates are WAY off. Like, that would take 1000 days when it's something that would be a month away.

So, what I am trying to figure out is where to turn for some information on what I might be missing and what I could be doing differently or if there are some services SOMEWHERE that would help with this stuff.

I just have no idea where to even look or who to talk to but I know things are not quite as they should be.

 

[mamaloya]

Well, the first thing I would do it bring him into your pediatrician. If his answer does not satisfy you, ask for a second opinion. Sometimes moms know better than dr's. Trust your gut. It may be that he just needs some physical therapy. Other than that, I am sorry, but I am not familiar enough with his symptoms to make any other suggestions. Your ped should help you though.

As for the not getting time and money, those are abstract concepts that kids will get at different times. Not every kid develops at the same rate, physically, emotionally, or intellectually. At his age, not grasping time and money is still within the normal range. My ds8 will still say things like "that limo bust be very expensive. Probably like $500 dollars." or the opposite and say $10 million. Abstract concepts can take many years for a child to finally grasp. My dd11 is still learning them. These concepts will click when your child is ready.

As for handwriting. Have you tried handwriting without tears? It is an awesome program developed by a special ed teacher. Just google it and go to their website. They even have manipulatives to help. I love their chalkboards too. They recommend chubby pencils and chalk. My dd11 is dyslexic and has central auditory processing disorder. Her handwriting was horrid until we got this program. This is our first year with it and it is a miracle. She only has to do one page a day. If she is struggling, we only do a part and use the chalkboard. Chubby pencils are hard to find, but I highly recommend them. All of my kids use them. I even use chubby pens due to RA. We use sidewalk chalk for the chalk board.

I found with dd that the public school system was not willing to help me out at all due to the fact that I was a homeschooler. My pediatrician and the local children's hospital were wonderful. They helped her get diagnosed and even taught me how to teach her.

I hope that I have been at least a little helpful. I hope another parent familiar with the physical symptoms you have mentioned will pipe in. Good luck!!

 

[Maraena]

I am wondering if anyone can help me with this. My DS7 is not quite "right" for lack of a better explanation. I just have a strong feeling that something is up. We homeschool and I have consulted with the local school about his handwriting skills which are atrocious. However they did not seem to think he would qualify for services based on the other academic info I showed them.

Here is the thing--he does not move right, he just seems awkward and stiff. When he tries to climb down things he doesn't always seem to know where his body is in space.

He also is extremely sensitive to sounds and textures are not exactly something he likes either. He doesn't like new situations but deals with them eventually with a lot of support and encouragement.

However, he LOVES other kids and handles peer relations with ease and makes friends like nobody's business, though he never remembers people's names. (I have talked to many other moms who have said the same thing about their 7 yos. as far as the name thing goes.)

He also cannot get the concept of money or the idea of time--he stinks at telling time but even more has no idea of how to relate the passage of time. ie. his estimates are WAY off. Like, that would take 1000 days when it's something that would be a month away.

So, what I am trying to figure out is where to turn for some information on what I might be missing and what I could be doing differently or if there are some services SOMEWHERE that would help with this stuff.

I just have no idea where to even look or who to talk to but I know things are not quite as they should be.

Hmm, I'm not sure how the district can make a determination of your son having or not having some sort of disabling condition based solely on academic info you showed them. From what you've indicated, much of your concern seems to lay in his fine and gross motor skills. A district official cannot simply look at academic records and determine if this does or does not exist.

My suggestion is to request an evaluation in writing in all the areas that you mentioned. Specifically request that they evaluate his fine and gross motor skills, academics, behavior/emotional, etc. My understanding of the law is that the district has an obligation to complete 'child find' in that they cannot limit their scope to only students attending their particular school thus all of these services should be accessible to you.

I tried to find some specifics on your home state department of education's website but it seems to be rather disorganized. You might want to contact them or get in touch with your statewide Parent Center - it appears that yours is operated by PACER - for a consultation on your legal rights for requesting an evaluation.

Hope that helps! I would encourage you to seek out a formal diagnosis as I'd be concerned about making too many suggestions without fully understanding the parameters of the issues.

 

[BeckyScott]

I also just wanted to toss in there, the time and money thing, for a 7-year-old, I wouldn't expect it to be very good right now.

My 7 y/o doesn't have a good grasp of it either, I know our school the 2nd graders are just now learning half-hour and hour on the clock and basic coin identification. Which isn't exactly your problem. Even our 10-year-old still struggles with money concepts (like yours, over or under-estimating the value of things), but he's naturally getting better as he gets older.

For the time, one thing that might help is using a timer in your day-to-day. We have both a standard kitchen timer, and a Time Timer http://www.timetimer.com/. Just using it daily, for all sorts of things, has helped both boys with the concept of time passing, for a younger child the Time Timer would be a better choice. Work on homework for a half hour. Taking turns on the computer. 3 minutes to finish your shower! (this for the 10-year-old who has been in there 20 minutes already, he knows he needs to finish up quick) We have had alot of success using the timer, both to teach them the concept, but also to keep things "fair". It also helps if your child has trouble transitioning. But the timer is neutral, not up to mommy's interpretation (and it's kicked me in the butt several times, when I'd say "okay, just a minute" and the little buggers would set the timer for One Minute and then nab me on it)

 

[disneymom3]

Thanks so much to all of you for taking the time to give your suggestions.

MamLoya--we actually do use HWOT tears. He is in his second year of it and while his capital letters are now legible in that other people than me can recognize them, his lowercase are bizarre. In his book he does okay, but writing anything else it is like he has never heard of the concept of how to form the letters.

Mareena--I have talked with PACER and their only feedback was to talk to the school district. When I said I wasn't sure that was where I was going to get all that I needed, she really had no other ideas for me. Just kept going back to the local school.

That said, they were awesome when I went in. It is not that they said no problem existed, they said he may indeed need OT and actually the OT there did give me a copy of a different handwriting program that we will be starting in Jan to see if it helps. However, what they said was that academically he did not look like he would qualify for any other services and that OT is a secondary service in MN which he could not receive unless he qualified for something else.

Becky--it is good to hear what your 2nd grader is learning. And good to have reassurance from all of you about the abstract learning being later. I think part of my problem is that DD is very good at the abstract and could make change in her head by first grade. Poor younger brother is suffering because his older sister learned way too fast! Of course, for the handwriting it is the fact that his younger brother is passing him by quickly that has me more worried.

I am going to make an appt with the pediatrician. She is awesome and I am sure will have ideas for me. I had not thought of that before. Don't know why. He was very sick as a baby and he did do some things quite a bit later but it seems like this is just too much that isn't coming together for him.

 

[mamaloya]

Homeschooling laws vary from state to state. When I was in NC they were very supportive and would do any evaluations you needed. Here in LA is a different story. I keep being told by everyone that they are supposed to evaluate, but everyone I call at the school district (and I went high up) said that they will NOT touch homeschoolers. I even got one special ed director that wanted to help me but later called me back because she was told they could not. My ped told me to mention IDEA, but that did not help. Here in LA (the state not the city) homeschoolers are not helped. I am not sure if I got a lawyer involved if things would change.

I have no idea about your state. You could ask other homeschoolers in your area, contact the school district, or contact HSLDA.

I agree that there is no way they can give you any answers based on academic records, especially if it is a physical problem. Sounds to me like they are giving you the old HS runaround. Public school education (most, not all) are offended/intimidated/opposed to homeschooling and will not do anything to help you. If you find that they are supposed to in your state, be prepared to push.

I would start with your pediatrician. He should be helpful in many areas. Mine was very supportive of my hsing and would do anything for us. I sure do miss him since we moved away.

 

[Maraena]

Homeschooling laws vary from state to state. When I was in NC they were very supportive and would do any evaluations you needed. Here in LA is a different story. I keep being told by everyone that they are supposed to evaluate, but everyone I call at the school district (and I went high up) said that they will NOT touch homeschoolers. I even got one special ed director that wanted to help me but later called me back because she was told they could not. My ped told me to mention IDEA, but that did not help. Here in LA (the state not the city) homeschoolers are not helped. I am not sure if I got a lawyer involved if things would change.

I have no idea about your state. You could ask other homeschoolers in your area, contact the school district, or contact HSLDA.

I agree that there is no way they can give you any answers based on academic records, especially if it is a physical problem. Sounds to me like they are giving you the old HS runaround. Public school education (most, not all) are offended/intimidated/opposed to homeschooling and will not do anything to help you. If you find that they are supposed to in your state, be prepared to push.

I would start with your pediatrician. He should be helpful in many areas. Mine was very supportive of my hsing and would do anything for us. I sure do miss him since we moved away.

I'd go beyond the school district and check with your state department of education. IDEA basically allows for all children to receive services regardless of where they receive their education. I don't quite see the difference in the provision of special services to a child in a private school versus a child being homeschooled. Call the state and ask about that one but it doesn't make any sense to me.

Also, to the OP, I'd still contact the state and still submit a written request for evaluation. Even if they don't think he'd qualify based on his academic records, I'd still question why he can't receive OT/PT services under the classification of Other Health Impairment. It would certainly seem strange to me that a district wouldn't deliver services to a student with Cerebral Palsy (who may be experiencing normal academic functioning) and might only require OT/PT services. FYI, I am not, in any way, implying that your child has CP but only using CP as an example.

 

[KirstenB]

I am wondering if anyone can help me with this. My DS7 is not quite "right" for lack of a better explanation. I just have a strong feeling that something is up. .

Here is the thing--he does not move right, he just seems awkward and stiff. When he tries to climb down things he doesn't always seem to know where his body is in space.

Would he be interested in swimming? Our older dd who's 9 has done swim team at the Y for several years. Over time, I've noticed some kids who go to every practice, yet don't go to the meets. Sometimes, the skills aren't there yet, the kids aren't able to tolerate the noise at meets, etc. It doesn't matter, and nobody judges.

Anyway, after years of swim lessons, and swim team practices, I call swim team, "like swimming lessons on steroids!" The kids get a lot more practice and training at swim team, than just at lessons. Plus, I think the Y is much less competitive than other swim teams around here, so there's less pressure. Anyway, our Y is very inclusive, and good with kids who are "different".

I hope you get some answers on your other questions. There was an article on Sensory Integration Disorder in Time Magazine about 3 weeks ago. I don't know if you saw it, but it talks about sensory issues.

 

[Luv Bunnies]

If the school district isn't responding quickly enough, you might consider scheduling an evaluation with a private occupational therapy group. That will help you determine your son's needs and will give you a starting point for dealing with the school district. Your insurance may or may not pay for the evaluation so it may have to be paid for out of pocket. But, it will give you the information you really need at this point. Good luck!

 

[OneLittleSpark]

I'm afraid I've not read through all the replies, so if I repeat what someone else has said, I apologise. It sounds like he may be somewhere on the dyslexic / dyspraxic spectrum. I'm dyslexic with a few dyspraxic traits, and have some of the symptoms you describe in your son (particularly the handwriting!).

I think going to talk to your doctor about your concerns would be the first step. If they don't listen, try someone else.

Good luck and keep us posted!

 

[eternaldisneyfan]

Look up nonverbal learning disorder...Sounds like that to me.

 

[JulieWent]

My son has non-verbal learning disorder, and, like eternaldisney, I thought of it as I read your post. But in all honesty, the things you've described occur in a number of issues (sensory dysfunction, dysgraphia, ADHD, Asperger's -- just to name a few). And most of them occur in typically developing children as well. If you are genuinely concerned that something is "not right," as you put it, you may want to consider taking your son to a neuropsychologist and asking for full-scale testing that will either put your mind at ease or allow you to pin-point issues that you will need to begin dealing with. (Early intervention is really fantastic. We started with my son when he was seven. He is now in seventh grade and making straight A's in regular classes with minimal support.) Such testing is not cheap, but it is extraoridinarily enlightening. I can say that it has been worth every cent we paid for it.

Julie

 

[tweedlemom]

See if your pediatrician can recommmend a good Developmental Pediatrician as well.

 

[Ms_Butterfly]

Hopefully the pediatrician will be able to help and recommend an OT. It sounds like SPD (Sensory Processing Disorder) to me, but, like others have said, there are several things it could be, including normal (or just delayed due to his prior illnesses).

 

[disneymom3]

Thank you so much for all the further info and feedback. I am calling the ped tomorrow to make an appointment adn then going from there.

That is a really good point about the OT/PT above. I will find out more about that. Perhaps I can contact PACER again to figure that out.

What was odd is that when I went in to meet with the team from the school, they asked me what I thought was wrong. I was like, "I have no idea. That is why I am here." The spec ed coordinator at that school actually goes to our church and I might just talk to her there one of these days soon. Sort of like coming in the back door......

But first I will talk to our Dr. I just worry that I might wait too long hoping that he will catch up and not be doing all I should be doing.

 

[hematite153]

2 things to add...

1. I really agree with the suggestion of a neuropsychological assessment. You could just go with what the school board can arrange, or pay for a standard psycho-ed assessment. But, what you describe sounds like reasonably rare exceptionalities. A neuropsychologist should be able to get at the specifics of "offness" to an even greater degree than any other assessment.

2. There is something called motor integration disorder (I may have the name slightly off). It is quite rare, and most people know very little about it and never think to look for it. However, what you describe in terms of movement and not knowing where he is in space sounds like it could be this. There is a fair amount of evidence that the development of numeracy is tied into physical representations of number and that children with physical disabilities may have trouble developing an understanding of these types of concepts. So, when you visit your pediatrician, I'd try specifically asking for a motor integration assessment.