Where have people manners gone?

[Tigger&Belle]

Rick, that's great! Loved the comment and even better since it came from someone else!

T&B

 

[Tigger&Belle]

Ladies, if a gentleman holds the door for you, smile and say "thank you."

I was just thinking about this today as someone handed the door off to me and I in turn did it to someone else. I can never imagine not saying that you and I'd sure be gutsy enough to say "you're welcome" to someone who doesn't say thank you to me.

T&B

 

[CheapMom]

I didn't say she shouldn't have said something to the lady. It's the heated argument that I don't agree with. Also, the woman (as rude as she may have been) may not have realized in her self-absorption that she pushed the child. Nobody ever has the right to verbally argue in front of their children, IMO. Again, you can't control what someone else does but you can certainly control how you act and react.
Ali

Nobody has the right to verbally argue in front of their children??? The woman said "Stop pushing" She would have been negligent to remain silent while some nutcase was physically assaulting children. She had to say something.

 

[Chuck S]

...you shouldn't assume how I handle crowds, I don't have a problem with them as long as everyone behaves, pushing children and beeping scooter horns leave me angry.

In otherwords, as long as they conform to YOUR standards of behavior?

Beeping scooters would be an annoyance, I doubt it would make me angry. Have you ever been in a wheelchair or scooter at WDW on a crowded day? When the parks close, and the mass of humanity heads for the exits, most folks in wheelchairs and scooter try to leave a little stopping distance between them and the party in front of them. HOWEVER, often I have seen folks step in front of moving "vehicles" and come to a full and complete stop. Perhaps the person in the scooter was NOT beeping AT YOU but was making his presence known so that someone would not step directly in front of him, which could have caused injury to both parties. People, especially in a crowd, are often oblivious to anything below their "eye level" and don't look where they are walking. Then you go on to bash the way Disney loads WCs and ECVs onto their busses. Those folks have every right to those busses, they are loaded first for their safety as well as yours, and often have to wait for several busses on a busy night because they can only accomodate a few of them. Now you seem to think that Disney should "handle it differently"...but offer no alternatives at all to how it could be done more efficiently.

 

[donaldbuzz&minnie]

Boy, I couldn't agree more about how aggravating it is to do something nice for someone and then have that person accept your gesture as an entitlement. Things seem to be getting worse and worse around my part of the country. Hold a door (which I always do - just because I'm a woman doesn't give me the right to slam a door in someone's face!) , wave someone through at a stop sign, etc, etc, and more often then not, my stopping to think about someone else's needs is treated as completely invisible, but well deserved.

I'd love some suggestions on how to handle / get over my frustration. I really don't want to turn into someone who doesn't care anymore, but I sure hate feeling like a sap. I worry about the kind of country we will have when no one is willing to consider anyone else's feelings to defend against feeling taken advantage of. (By the way, I've tried the "you're welcome" routine, which helps a little. I still walk away from the encounter feeling lousy, though.)

 

[Tinkbell]

Suddenly 2 children in wheelchairs were pushed to the front of the line to see Daisy and by the time they (and a few others in line) were done, Daisy left. I just didn't think that was fair. I see no reason why they can't wait like everyone else. You may not agree, JMO.

The children in wheelchairs probably don't think it's fair that the healthy kids all around them in Disney can walk, while they are confined to a wheelchair. Then again, they probably don't think this way because, most likely, they have a great attitude. That complaint was not legitimate.

I do agree with you about pushing and giving up seats for the elderly or women with small children.

 

[Penny12]

Ok people - corners please!

You know what I think? (Hey, who said "no!" then?)

I think we all have situations that push our buttons....that doesn't mean we have to beat each other over the head about it though....am I right? So, <i>everyone</i>, let's not be so quick to judge other people's behavior just because you wouldn't do it the same way yourself.

Disgree with each other by all means - but lets not get so hot under the collar that things start to get too personal, ok?

 

[Hippychickali]

The crowd thickened so we caught up to her and he got in front of her and again she bumped him into the wall. I said loudly, "stop pushing" she turned around and said "are you talking to me" I said" yes, you pushed my son twice now" back and forth we went, my ds11 was embarrassed.

First of all calm down! It seems as though a lot of things make you angry. I think we need to clear some things up right now. I don't want to drag this out because this is a public forum and not a conversation between two people.

I'm not "summizing" you from one post. I am simply commenting on what you posted about. I never called you a single name and I have reviewed all of my posts in this thread to make sure. I said that you were being insensitive and I don't think I stand alone in the perception. I happen to think that anyone who doesn't have to live their life in a wheelchair is priveledged (myself included). Therefore, priveledged people should recognize that and act accordingly. I'm sorry if you took this as an insult because it certainly wasn't intended as one.

I'm sorry, it just seemed from your OP [see quotation above] that the discussion was more than you simply stating what had happened. You said you and the lady went "back and forth" and your "ds11 was embarassed". If this was not the case, I apologize. I just don't see why your son would get embarassed if you were rationally talking to another adult.

It is a fact of life that every individual in a crowd is not going to behave. So, if you expect that I think you will be diappointed every time. I would love if this were not the way of the world.

You are certainly entitled to your opinions but we are all entitled to offer you feedback. I mean, really, after typing a post like that did you not expect some people to take offense?

If you would like to talk to me specifically about this any further, please pm me.

Ali

 

[eternaldisneyfan]

Policies have changed at Disney World where it is extraordinarily difficult to be able to go straight to the front of the line. Technically, only GKTW and MAW kids get this privelage. Although in rare instances severely disabled may get a GAC that says this by explaining the severity of there condition to a cast member at guest relations (like if the person uses a ventilator with only a few hours of battery). GAC's have different categories like kids with autism are placed in a quite area while a member of their party waits in line and people with sun sensitivity wait in the shade, etc. Unless this was a park chair, the person had to have a disability as other wheelchairs are available by prescription only. People with Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy (average life expectancy late teens to mid twenties) and other muscular disorders frequently have surgery to cut tight tendons to try to preserve walking which requires a cast. Or cancer kids who are on MAW trips will frequently rent wheelchairs from the parks(I personally know quite a few from a support network). The child could have had osteosarcoma (bone cancer) and be recovering from surgery to remove the tumor. A broken leg is not the only reason for a cast. Because of new policies it is nearly impossible to be a wheelchair "cheater."

OP Quote

As a person who pushed one,[stroller] I am amazed at the people who will just walk in front of it. I was tempted to bump one or two.

People in wheelchairs frequently get cut off too. Unlike the OP and other stroller users it is physically impossible to stop suddenly. After you release the throttle (thing to drive) the brake doesn't kick in for a few inches. The man honking may have been trying to warn people that he was going to try to come by or that he was there since wheelchairs are below eyelevel. I don't know how many times I have been sitting still and someone toppled over me. Or even it could have been a malfunction making it honk (I know rare). My point is give try to see other reasons, we don't know circumstances.

Oh and the bus. Yes it does take a while to load wheelchairs only because the lifts only go so fast and tiedowns have to be fastened. Should people in ECV's and chairs be banned from buses. Speaking from the other side, several people on the disABILITIES forum commented on how buses with wheelchair spots would refuse to stop because they were too busy and told them to wait for the next one.

Outside of Disney our days are inconvenienced, it's going to happen at Disney, too. A little tolerance and understanding go a long way.

Christamae

 

[dcentity2000]

You may detest at people who are wheelchair bound being ushered to the front of ques, but remember: which would you rather be? Two places further back in a que for a themepark ride or incapable of carrying out even the most basic daily task without some aide, some compensation, some help? Would you rather stand for an extra forty seconds or never stand again? You may not like this compensation orientated, socialist natured western civilisation that fuels this kind of special treatment, but if you just pause for a second and look at the grand scheme of things, you'd realise that this does very little to counter the problems that they face.

And remember: a gentleman will walk and never run. Patience is a virtue, as is living with the problems that life throws at you with narry a hint of complaint or cry. If we are truly polite and humane, we would care for all others before ourselves regardless of whether this is returned; this and this alone is the mark of a polite person and as the old saying goes, manners maketh man.



Rich::

 

[tazz23]

If we are truly polite and humane, we would care for all others before ourselves regardless of whether this is returned; this and this alone is the mark of a polite person and as the old saying goes, manners maketh man.

well said Rich

 

[Tigger&Belle]

Or as the quote said that I got in an e-mail today by Rowland Hill...

"We can do more good by being good, than in any other way."



Our behavior is what we are judged by and should judge ourselves by. Good intentions don't matter unless they are followed by good actions.

T&B

 

[Forever a Princess]

I'm sorry that some of your trip did not go well.

We have encountered some of the rudeness that you have described while on our trips to the world. If someone is "power pushing" to get ahead of us we let them go ahead. We've been on each attraction several times and to deal with the "I'm going to push my way ahead of you" just isn't worth it.

I used to think differently about those "scooter folk" until I needed to use on one of our trips. We used our own vehicle for the scooter. DH could have the thing assembled or disassembled in about five minutes. We did not use the buses because of what you described. It takes a long time to load the scooter, I also wish there was a better way to load the scooters. Pixie Dust would go a long way here!

Thanks to all who left a wide margin around the scooter. Even with my skillful driving of the scooter it is hard to "cut and ease" through the crowds like a two legged person. Thanks to all that did not cut in front of the scooter. The scooter has brakes, but will not stop instantly. Thanks to the CM at "Its Tough to Be a Bug", without your help I would of never made it through the exit crowd.

To the Op, hopefully on your next trip you will experience less rudeness. Bless you and yours during this Holiday season.

 

[Momto8]

I've been following this thread and have a comment about pregnant women. When I was pregnant, I could not stand for more than a minute or two as I couldn't breath. I could walk with no problems in breathing, but if I stood, I had a terrible time catching my breath. I also could not stand at the kitchen sink doing dishes for very long. I had to bend over the sink (as much as I could with a big stomach) in order to breath. I think it had something to do with carrying the baby so high. This, of course, was mostly toward the end of the 2nd and all of the 3rd trimester. Don't know why it didn't affect me while I walked, only when I stood. Go figure. I also had the same problem with laying on my back. Could not do it for all of my pregnancies. Even when they did the ultra sound, the technician would have to stop every couple of minutes, so I could roll over on my side or sit up to catch my breath.

There would be no way I could stand for very long on a bus at WDW if I was pregnant. I think I would have passed out. Even if a woman appears to be healthy while pregnant, you don't know how she's feeling or how hard it can be for her to stand for any length of time until you know what she's going through.

 

[llandaff]

There would be no way I could stand for very long on a bus at WDW if I was pregnant. I think I would have passed out. Even if a woman appears to be healthy while pregnant, you don't know how she's feeling or how hard it can be for her to stand for any length of time until you know what she's going through.

I just have to comment here! I am usually the first to stand if an elderly or disabled person needs a seat, but I would not include pregnant women on buses at WDW. Pregnancy is a choice. Surely a woman can go for nine months without visiting Disney?? Especially if she's not feeling healthy!

Vicki.

 

[Gaiusrex]

for some of you, your lack of compassion and understanding shows a surprising lack of manners

 

[kupperman]

Well said, Gaiusrex.

 

[dwkwootton]

I actually find it interesting how many people jumped to the conclusion that the OP was a cold hearted, ungrateful monster cranking about a handicapped child butting in line. And interesting that precious few of those screaming for compassion or understanding showed compassion or understanding by wondering/asking if this was simply a child with a broken ankle, a case of playing games with the system, or that maybe she just simply didn't realize the potential severity of the situation as I was first to do in this thread? Now that the OP has established that this otherwise healthy child had a broken ankle/leg and the family took advantage of the situation and butted in line, let me be the first to openly apologize to the OP for disagreeing (respectfully as I did) with her. Please don't try to justify by suggesting a myriad of statiscally unlikely disorders that would present as a healthy child with a cast, unless you are prepared to admit that it is statiscally FAR more likely that the OP suffers from Tourette's Syndrome, Bi-Polar Disorder, or ADHD, making you guilty of the very crime she wasn't even accused of, but given the firing squad for.

 

[Becky2005]

Holding doors? I hold doors open for everybody, man woman and child, particularly those who seem to need an extra hand like those in ECVs or those whose arms are full of packages. I just don't stand there for 10 minutes waiting for the next person so I can hold the door open; if there is someone close behind me, I'll hold the door, but if someone is 100 feet behind me, they can fend for themseves. The exception to that, of course, is if the person behind me seems to need some special held, like those in ECVs or those with thier arms full of stuff.

Courtesy should not be constrained, it should flow from everyone to everyone else.

I agree, I have held doors for men, woman, children, whoever if they are right there when I am, etc....

 

[Chuck S]

Actually, just because the child was wearing a cast, we don't know it was a simple broken bone. There are a miriad of diseases, not extremely rare, that could be the reason this child was in the wheelchair that are not readily apparent. The cast, or broken bone, may have had nothing to do with why the wheelchair was being used. Many serious and life threatening illness have no visible "signs" that are easily identified by an untrained eye. Unless the woman knew the exact circumstances of why the child was in the chair, then assuming it was for a simple bone fracture because of a cast doesn't mean it WAS a simple broken bone.