Where do you stand on this?

[NewRVLady]

I agree with you. I wasn't there obviously, nor were any of us. I am guessing the mother's comment could've been taken at least two ways:

1) Mother asked for a meal for her daughter. The flight attendant explained they were only for first class passengers.
The mother asked for an exception and attempted to explain why the were asking for the accommodation.

She may have attempted to explain that her daughter is on the autism spectrum, is having a bad day, their Plan A didn't work, and they are hoping to avoid a meltdown. Since the FA might not have understood ASD's, the mother may have explained what a meltdown for her daughter would be like and a list of what may occur during a meltdown (including scratching).

.

BIGGEST thing that most -who are on the mom's side- cant seem to grasp is there ARE NO EXTRA MEALS THAT SHE COULD HAVE PURCHASED. ONLY THE EXACT # FOR THE FIRST CLASS RIDERS.

The flight attendant DID give her a sandwich-but it was unacceptable to the mom, because it was not HOT.

 

[Magic Band Defender]

I didn't twist anything.

Using autism as a threat doesn't even make sense.

I didn't say it made sense, only that another poster used those exact words and that's what I was replying to.

We disagree on the tone/intent of the mother's statement to the FA. Neither of us were there. I don't know what else to say.

 

[Magic Band Defender]

That comes through loud and clear.

When I type "Thank you for your reply." or "Have a pleasant day." that is exactly what I mean. If I meant something else, I would say it.

 

[sunshinehighway]

I didn't say it made sense, only that another poster used those exact words and that's what I was replying to.

We disagree on the tone/intent of the mother's statement to the FA. Neither of us were there. I don't know what else to say.

Her tone and intent do not matter. Yes, normally those things are important. A plane is a different ballgame though. It doesn't matter how nicely or politely she may have explained the situation, just saying her daughter could scratch people is enough to cause concern for the flight crew.

 

[Magic Band Defender]

BIGGEST thing that most -who are on the mom's side- cant seem to grasp is there ARE NO EXTRA MEALS THAT SHE COULD HAVE PURCHASED. ONLY THE EXACT # FOR THE FIRST CLASS RIDERS.

Sometimes that is true, sometimes it is not. Obviously if the mother's request was for something not aboard the plane and she did not make her request far enough in advance, it probably cannot be accommodated. I am assuming there was at least one extra meal until I know differently.

 

[Dawnlight]

Just a few generations ago, special needs children were routinely sent to institutions. Often as infants. Many never saw a family member ever again. Many never saw beyond the walls of their facility ever again.

When you know better, you do better. Those facilities are not the ideal place for special needs children to reach their full potential.

There have always been and always will be people with special needs. Despite how things were "back in your day" special needs children are now growing up in the same society and environments as you and your NT children.

Get used to it. Special needs children will be in the grocery store, school, mall, WDW, and everywhere else you normally find children. This generation of parents will not be locking their children away like sending an unwanted pet to a shelter.

The number of children on the spectrum is on the rise, especially in little boys. There is no consensus on why this is happening, how it could be prevented, or even the best treatments.

If you don't like it, please feel free to rent a private jet, or better yet move to some backwards country where people with special needs are still locked up, abused, and ignored.

So if every request of every person on the spectrum is not met, then that is akin to putting them away in institutions?

It seems to me that the culture in the US, and perhaps many other non-"backwards" countries, is very accommodating to the needs of those of different disabilities. This notion that every demand must be met is pathetic. It seems some don't want equal rights and accessibility, but more rights.

 

[Luvchefmic]

Great post cabanafrau:


Might as well say : " I am done with you and your opinions; you are dismissed "

 

[gwynne]

Sometimes that is true, sometimes it is not. Obviously if the mother's request was for something not aboard the plane and she did not make her request far enough in advance, it probably cannot be accommodated. I am assuming there was at least one extra meal until I know differently.

But you don't get to request/demand/expect a hot First Class meal in coach. It's not a reasonable request in any way, shape or form. And assuming you (or your child) would be entitled to an extra is just not correct. If you want a First Class meal, book the class.

If you or your child are in coach and hungry (lets say you lost your bag with snacks..) the FA's would likely give you extra peanuts, pretzels or gosh...maybe a granola bar.
If you have special or extra-ordinary food needs...Those need to be prepared for. Bring your specially prepared food items. It's no different than bringing along medication.

 

[cabanafrau]

So if every request of every person on the spectrum is not met, then that is akin to putting them away in institutions?

It seems to me that the culture in the US, and perhaps many other non-"backwards" countries, is very accommodating to the needs of those of different disabilities. This notion that every demand must be met is pathetic. It seems some don't want equal rights and accessibility, but more rights.

No matter how much accommodation is given, at the end of the day many of the challenges cannot be eliminated simply because the disability cannot be eliminated. I think often the demands are really a response to the wish that can never be granted, the elimination of the disability. I understand that in that way.

 

[barkley]

What you may not understand is that repeatedly stating your viewpoint while stating you do not wish to argue with others and then repeatedly signing off with banal pleasantries might be interpreted by those reading as if you wish to be heard and have no wish to discuss the issues with anyone here -- on a discussion board. Adding on the tagline of have a nice day compounds it by implying you might mean anything but. It gets kind of tricky to understand merely the written words without the rest of the context we usually use in face to face discussions or phone calls.

sorry but I have to cuz this SO sounds like the repetitive mantra is my son's individual and group therapy sessions-only there it's "automatically adding to the end of any statement 'not to be rude' or 'not to offend you' implies anything BUT"

 

[aaarcher86]

Thank you for your reply. I do not wish to call out specific posters on this or any other thread, but some posters have commented that the family with a child on the spectrum should either not fly at all, fly only first class, or that this family would not be welcomed in first class because first class passengers expect a particular atmosphere.

IMHO, the mother did not use autism as a threat, but rather explained the reason for the request.

Having a kid with special needs comes with additional parenting challenges. That's just the way it goes. Sometimes the best solution IS to avoid situations, and that might mean flying. If the only way to do something is to have unreasonable accommodations, than you just don't get to do it or you figure out how to deal with it yourself. If flying first class guarantees her child gets the accommodation she needs, that would be the best option. You pay the extra expense because it gets you what your child needs. But instead, people try to do what they want and force their requirements into others. Not cool. If first class passengers are I accepting, tough cookies.

I can't look at someone and say 'if you don't do X I'm going to push you/slap you/scratch you, etc' whether I'm just informing the other party of the consequences or not. Physical harm to another person is a crime, which makes it a threat.

 

[eliza61]

No matter how much accommodation is given, at the end of the day many of the challenges cannot be eliminated simply because the disability cannot be eliminated. I think often the demands are really a response to the wish that can never be granted, the elimination of the disability. I understand that in that way.

And than throw that on top of an already stressful situation. flying in itself is no longer pleasant for fully capable adults and kids.

 

[cabanafrau]

Sometimes that is true, sometimes it is not. Obviously if the mother's request was for something not aboard the plane and she did not make her request far enough in advance, it probably cannot be accommodated. I am assuming there was at least one extra meal until I know differently.

By the mother's own account she made the request during the flight. If the extra meal is indeed not aboard the flight, how would the request be accommodated and whose responsibility do you think it is the request cannot be accommodated?

Why do you assume there is an extra meal onboard? My suspicion is there was not for many reasons. First of all, space is at a premium. Second, today's cuthroat, bottom line airline culture. Third, an extra potentially creates an issue of who gets it - crew member, first class passenger, coach passenger? Any of those choices seems to open Pandora's box.

The only supporting idea I can come up with for why there would be an extra is having aboard an extra of each selection in case of a mishap with a meal or for a last minute addition to first class. I still suspect bottom line trumps here and there is no extra aboard.

 

[aaarcher86]

So if every request of every person on the spectrum is not met, then that is akin to putting them away in institutions?

It seems to me that the culture in the US, and perhaps many other non-"backwards" countries, is very accommodating to the needs of those of different disabilities. This notion that every demand must be met is pathetic. It seems some don't want equal rights and accessibility, but more rights.

Right. People are demanding things and just using the word accommodation because of it's legal connotation. 'If I feel it would help, I should get it.'

No. No, that's not really how this works at all.

 

[cabanafrau]

And than throw that on top of an already stressful situation. flying in itself is no longer pleasant for fully capable adults and kids.

That's so true. Just think back to the days when WDW had "If I Had Wings" and how exciting it was to be boarding a plane back then. Now I have to be very, very excited by the trip to want to subject myself to flying anywhere.

 

[ColoradoDisneyFreaks]

What the mom, and a few on this thread (OK, 1, is this a signal of end times? 99% of the DIS agrees about something!) don't get, is that the pilot didn't land and remove the family because of the child's behavior, he landed, and removed the family because of the mother's behavior. She was demanding, she didn't comply with instructions, based on the accounts from other passengers, her daughter did become very disruptive, and the mother threatened further disruptive behavior if her demands weren't met. This isn't a case of not accommodating a disabled need, mom could have called the airline ahead of the flight to ask that a hot meal be available, she could have very easily asked the flight attendant to make sure that the first sandwich was heated, and she could have asked again for a hot meal after the beginning of the meltdown without mentioning or threatening that her daughter would start scratching, she did none of these.

Each and every step of this whole debacle was directly due to how the mother reacted to situations. I have yet to meet a flight attendant who isn't going to bend over backwards for someone who approaches them nicely and apologetically with a request, if it's at all possible. If it's not, then yelling at them isn't going to magically make it possible. What happened was that someone in first class nicely decided to forgo their hot meal so the ladies daughter could have it, and the flight attendant sure can't promise that's even possible before they find someone to do so.

Like I said 11 pages ago, mom screwed up and acted like a brat, and I really wish that our court system subscribed to the "loser pays" model so that when she loses, she has to pay the legal fees for United.

 

[cabanafrau]

The girl was given a meal from another passenger? That certainly sounds like the flight attendants didn't have a meal to meet the request from the go.

 

[SMD]

Sometimes that is true, sometimes it is not. Obviously if the mother's request was for something not aboard the plane and she did not make her request far enough in advance, it probably cannot be accommodated. I am assuming there was at least one extra meal until I know differently.

An airplane is not a diner or fast food restaurant. Even if it is available, there is no POS system, credit card terminal or pricing to buy first class meals a la carte. Despite her claim that she offered to pay, it seems that she was relying on there being an extra meal provided for free. I understand that she tried to get her daughter to eat on the layover because she knew there could be issues if she became hungry on the flight. Why then play roulette and board the flight, knowing it will be 4.5 hours or more before hot food would be available and that there are negative consequences to the daughter becoming hungry or thirsty. Yes, she should have made arrangements in advance. And then also, knowing that she didn't, they could have chosen to request a later flight before leaving Houston.

 

[Allison]

Sometimes that is true, sometimes it is not. Obviously if the mother's request was for something not aboard the plane and she did not make her request far enough in advance, it probably cannot be accommodated. I am assuming there was at least one extra meal until I know differently.

Why are you making that assumption? Not that it matters either way. The mom behaved poorly and then had to deal with the consequences.

 

[NewRVLady]

An airplane is not a diner or fast food restaurant.
Even if it is available, there is no POS system, credit card terminal or pricing to buy first class meals a la carte. Despite her claim that she offered to pay, it seems that she was relying on there being an extra meal provided for free..

wow-I never even thought of that!
All extras-alcohol and higher end snacks ARE priced and you have to have cash on most flights....how WOULD she pay for the 1st class meaL!