Where do you keep your liquor?

[mamacatnv]

And again, I have not made it a "big taboo." But you cannot convince me that a teen who is allowed to drink in moderation at home is going to say, "Oh, now I see that alcohol in moderation is a fine thing so I'm not going to be participating in any teen social event with my peer group at which alcohol and getting drunk are in any way part of the occasion. Now that I know that having a glass of wine on Thanksgiving is the norm, I'm not going to be caught up in ANY type of typical teen behavior."

If that has been your experience with your teens (who are younger than mine) then I am glad it has worked that way for you. But the teens I know had a glass of wine or a beer at home with Mom and Dad and THEN they went to a party and drank what they could get anyway. (Often courtesy of an older brother or sister, and that's another thread entirely.)

Personally in no way am I disillusioned. I know son drinks, I know he goes to parties, I know they snuck booze into their dorms etc. For me the OP was talking about locking up the booze like it was some sort of taboo.
My response was that we don't lock it up, I didn't worry about DS getting into it and sneaking around. We had/have a very open alcohol policy in our house and everyone knows it. There is no drinking and driving or getting into a car with a drinker allowed, ever. We will retrieve at any hour or DS knows to take a cab, I've seen the charges on my credit card statement for a cab so I know he was listening.

I will say this though in defense of teens. My DS was an athlete and he took the code of conduct that he signed and agreed to to heart as do many kids across the country. He did not go to parties and drink, he did not partake of tobacco or drugs, not because he had some ethical or moral issue but because if he got caught he would be benched. He did not want to ever endanger his athletic participation in any way. Sometimes the reasoning does not need to be long and complicated ie if you start drinking then it escalates into a problem, you are under age, its illegal etc etc etc........it was black and white for him, partying = benching and that was enough to deter until he got to college.......

Thank goodness he will be 21 in less than 3 weeks. You think he will start buying his own or will he continue to pinch mine I'm thinking mine is still cheaper!

Oh and as for RX drugs, we had an issue with out licensed bonded 40yr old housekeeper pinching those, who has to worry about teens when the housekeeper got to them first.

 

[AndreaDM]

We keep the liquor in our sweet 1970's bar that came with the house, and the beer in the 1940's GAS refridgerator. That whole retro setup was a big selling point to DH and I! We have 3 daughters, 21, 19 and 7. The older 2 are at college right now, I don't think the 7 year old is sneaking too much booze yet. I've always let them have a glass of wine or champagne at holidays or special events. Yes, I'm sure they indulge at school when I'm not around, but like so many others have said, as long as they're not driving or getting into a car with someone who's been drinking they'll be fine.

 

[shortbun]

My parents kept theirs in a low cabinet near the stove. I never touched it.

DH and I don't drink so it won't be an issue for us!

Yeah, that's where my parents kept it too. We replaced the gin and vodka with water and even the bourbon and scotch-with carefully added food coloring. When my dad put the moonshine his boss had given him for a joke in that cabinet, my friends came over one evening and filled the kitchen sink with moonshine and orange juice.

I have teenagers in my house all the time now. they have ALL heard my alcohol lecture. We have a little beer sometimes and some liquors that are kept in a small cabinet very near my bedroom and carefully monitored. The very small bottle of scotch I have here for my friend who likes it...in my underwear drawer.

Oh yeah, boys in my crowd broke into homes and stole booze several times. I didn't tell on them. Wish I had, two dead at 50 from alcohol related diseases. Men I had been friends with since grade school. They were both marvelous guys with a fatal flaw. Their parents allowed them both to drink. I don't think that caused their disease but it certainly did not send a message of waiting for adult activity until one is an adult. See, I believe that we should allow our children to be children and coaching them about how to drink...well, I think it's a big mistake. Children are more than willing to teach each other about alcohol...I've never heard one kid say-'well, I learned at home to just have two drinks.' Really, do you guys really think children would do that?

 

[krcit]

I don't really have much booze, just 2 bottles of flavored vodka. They are in the freezer in the basement. I have beers in the basement fridge also and I know roughly how many are there. I have a 15 year old and she doesn't have many friends over when I'm not home but if she did, I would lock it up. I remember being a teen and what we did to get alcohol Thankfully, my dd seems to be a bit smarter than I was but I'm also much more aware of what she is doing then my parents were with me. Also, if you had asked my mom if I drank as a teen, she would say no way. I just never got caught. I would only drink when they weren't going to be home when I got home or if I was sleeping at a friends. I knew all the tricks, lol.

Forgot to address the garage thing. My friends/neighbors have a lock on there garage for exactly that reason. They don't want their son's friends to take beers.

Oh and my dd told me the latest thing. kids going to sweet 16's bring alcohol wrapped up like a present so they get past the bouncers/security. They used to just put it in water bottles but the grown-ups caught onto that.

 

[No.17CherryTreeLane]

We keep the liquor in our sweet 1970's bar that came with the house, and the beer in the 1940's GAS refridgerator. That whole retro setup was a big selling point to DH and I! We have 3 daughters, 21, 19 and 7. The older 2 are at college right now, I don't think the 7 year old is sneaking too much booze yet. I've always let them have a glass of wine or champagne at holidays or special events. Yes, I'm sure they indulge at school when I'm not around, but like so many others have said, as long as they're not driving or getting into a car with someone who's been drinking they'll be fine.

"I don't think the 7 year old is sneaking too much booze yet."

SO funny!!!

BTW, great refrigerator!

 

[shortbun]

Have a 13 year old and 10 year old. We don't have liquor or beer in the house often, but when we do it's in the snack cabinet or fridge

I don't worry about either of them touching it.

Gosh, I hope you are lucky like that!!! Just know that their friends may not be a trustworthy as they are.

 

[RitaE]

Wherever we have room.
No honestly. I have a small fridge out in the garage that usually has a 6 pack or two of beer in it. I have wine storage rack down in our basement and we're considering getting one of those dual control wine coolers.

My teens have no need to "sneak" alcohol and I've never had a problem with disappearing bottles. If we open a bottle for dinner they are allowed a glass and if they want a beer they ask and are nearly always allowed to have one. They only time I've said no is when I knew they planned to go out later that night.

 

[kimmar067]

I'm mostly thinking about you folks with kids.

Is it in plain site, in a closet, in a locked cabinet?

Right now mine is all on shelves in the garage, but I imagine that in about 4 -5 years, I'll be locking it up.

How about you?

...I keep it in GP's tummy...

 

[FlightlessDuck]

Gosh, I hope you are lucky like that!!! Just know that their friends may not be a trustworthy as they are.

They currently aren't allowed to have friends over without one of us home. In a few more years, we will probably change where it's kept.

 

[cruisnfamily]

To those of you saying "oh, no need to sneak, if they asked we'd let them have it" Do you really think that's what your teens want? A beer or a glass or wine at home with mom and dad? If that is something your teen wants to do, more power to ya! But let me say this is not the goal of the average teen who is looking to drink.

They want to drink with their friends, not their parents and they want to drink considerably more than 1 drink and they want to behave in a silly and stupid manner and laugh with their friends and they want to post it all over facebook the next day about how silly and stupid someone or another was or how hung over they are. This is what the average teen is interested in.

I don't think they need to steal from your liquor cabinet for their weekend drinking, I'm sure if they're drinking they have a source. But, they may have their first taste courtesy of your liquor cabinet.

I have a dd18 and a ds14. Neither one drinks but dd18 did actually experiment a little bit , tried it twice with a girlfriend, one time, out of the few random bottles we had sitting around under a cabinet in my house. They had been there for years and years(we almost never drink at home!) and I had marked the bottles at some point and it was a year or so after it happened before I discovered it because we are so rarely in that cabinet. One day I was moving the bottles to look for something behind them and saw they were below the marks and confronted dd at which point she confessed but said that it had happened the previous year.

dd is a senior in hs. She would tell you that 90% of the kids at her school drink every single weekend and if you don't play beer pong you might as well not be friends with any of them. I'm sure she's off in her percentages but I do believe quite a few of the "popular" kids are drinking regularly.

So, no, we don't lock our liquor up but I have since then poured out all the very, very old vodka, whiskey, rum etc...whatever we had in there and the only thing remaining I think is a bottle of rum from a cruise and a bottle of amaretto. Probably should discard them too as DS is getting to the age where the kids want to "just try it".

You may have good kids, but they are still kids!

 

[C.Ann]

Gosh, I hope you are lucky like that!!! Just know that their friends may not be a trustworthy as they are.

I think this is the important point that people are missing.. Surely NY can't be the only state where parents have been arrested, fined, and/or sued because someone elses teen got into booze in their home and ended up in a fatal car crash? Just the liability issue alone - the chance of losing your home - and knowing that teen got the booze from your home should be enough to make people at least pause and think about it..

Do people leave their loading guns lying around too? Alcohol in the hands of the wrong person is just as dangerous..

 

[RitaE]

Sorry, I have no interest in rearranging our household because of the possibility of a teen thief stealing from us. Besides which, if they are that motivated what's to stop them from finding my hiding place. We don't own guns, no problem there.

As far as liability, no I've heard of adults being arrested for knowingly supplying alcohol to children that are not their own ... it isn't illegal in this state to give your own child a drink in your house. I've never heard of an arrest where alcohol was stolen by their kid's friends without the knowledge of the adult.

Frankly, in my list of worries in life having beer stolen from my fridge and then being arrested because of what the thief does with the beer just doesn't hit my top 10.

I have an almost 21 yo and a 17yo and as I've said, I've had no problem with alcohol mysteriously disappearing around here. And yeah, my husband would notice if Sunday football rolled around and his beer was gone.

I'm sure my kids probably did get their "first taste" of alcohol from us, since we serve it about once a month at family dinner. I'm sure they have had alcohol at weekend parties, as most kids do. I've only been called for a pick up duty once and I dutifully drove a whole bunch of them home and said nothing, just like is our deal.

From what my son tells me, the college crowd is actually pretty good about designated drivers or arranging cabs these days. Seems like they're learning.

 

[krcit]

To those of you saying "oh, no need to sneak, if they asked we'd let them have it" Do you really think that's what your teens want? A beer or a glass or wine at home with mom and dad? If that is something your teen wants to do, more power to ya! But let me say this is not the goal of the average teen who is looking to drink.

They want to drink with their friends, not their parents and they want to drink considerably more than 1 drink and they want to behave in a silly and stupid manner and laugh with their friends and they want to post it all over facebook the next day about how silly and stupid someone or another was or how hung over they are. This is what the average teen is interested in.

I don't think they need to steal from your liquor cabinet for their weekend drinking, I'm sure if they're drinking they have a source. But, they may have their first taste courtesy of your liquor cabinet.

I have a dd18 and a ds14. Neither one drinks but dd18 did actually experiment a little bit , tried it twice with a girlfriend, one time, out of the few random bottles we had sitting around under a cabinet in my house. They had been there for years and years(we almost never drink at home!) and I had marked the bottles at some point and it was a year or so after it happened before I discovered it because we are so rarely in that cabinet. One day I was moving the bottles to look for something behind them and saw they were below the marks and confronted dd at which point she confessed but said that it had happened the previous year.

dd is a senior in hs. She would tell you that 90% of the kids at her school drink every single weekend and if you don't play beer pong you might as well not be friends with any of them. I'm sure she's off in her percentages but I do believe quite a few of the "popular" kids are drinking regularly.

So, no, we don't lock our liquor up but I have since then poured out all the very, very old vodka, whiskey, rum etc...whatever we had in there and the only thing remaining I think is a bottle of rum from a cruise and a bottle of amaretto. Probably should discard them too as DS is getting to the age where the kids want to "just try it".

You may have good kids, but they are still kids!

My dd tells me that 'everyone' drinks and smokes pot. I know that is not the case but it's a lot more kids than people think. I also go onto her FB occasionally and can't believe the pics and comments some of these kids post. Yikes. I've also had a few converstaions with parents who are clueless about their own kids. They think their kids would never do this or that meanwhile I have seen pics of them holding a beer or a 4loco. teens do stupid things. I'm not going to make it any easier for mine of their friends to do stupid things.

 

[NotUrsula]

... Oh yeah, boys in my crowd broke into homes and stole booze several times. I didn't tell on them. Wish I had, two dead at 50 from alcohol related diseases. Men I had been friends with since grade school. They were both marvelous guys with a fatal flaw. Their parents allowed them both to drink. I don't think that caused their disease but it certainly did not send a message of waiting for adult activity until one is an adult. See, I believe that we should allow our children to be children and coaching them about how to drink...well, I think it's a big mistake. Children are more than willing to teach each other about alcohol...I've never heard one kid say-'well, I learned at home to just have two drinks.' Really, do you guys really think children would do that?

Eh, part of it is cultural. I'm a first-generation American, and kids in my family still spend lots of time abroad. If they can legally drink when they are spending the summer at Aunt Rosie's, it's a bit hard to put the genie back in the bottle when they come home. We're not French, it isn't our way to serve 10 yos watered wine with dinner, but to us, 16 is a reasonable age at which to be permitted to drink socially; 16 is when you start being expected to attend adult social events as if you were one, so in our home, 16 is when you start to earn some adult privileges.

There is a big difference between simply drinking, and the social contest of who-can-drink-who-under-the-table. Quite frankly, men who don't have their heads screwed on straight will indulge in that game until they die, because it's about machismo, not alcohol. IME, young women who deliberately get drunk when with others tend to do it for two reasons: to give themselves more cred with the opposite sex, or to give themselves more confidence to get past general social shyness -- sometimes in a deliberate attempt to overcome inhibitions in order to "fit in". If you address those issues in other ways, binge drinking usually isn't such an issue. (Note I didn't say it's a non-issue -- IME, anyone who drinks at all will binge-drink at least once. Most healthy people learn pretty quickly that drinking enough to make you puke isn't worth the consequences.)

Drinking to excess when alone is something else entirely, and something that I won't try to explain except to say that it is a enormous red flag pointing toward mental illness, and in most cases warrants medical investigation.

Stealing anything is wrong, but anyone who would actually break into a stranger's home in order to steal liquor is someone who is way past just wanting to get a buzz on for laughs. Burglary is a felony -- you would get a lesser penalty shoplifting from a liquor store. Even at 16, I knew better than to voluntarily associate with anyone that foolishly desperate about anything.

 

[Myothername]

We have always been very open with drinking and the alcohol in our house. My family vacations every year together at the beach (brothers, wives, kids, cousins, friends, grandmother, etc. kids ages now 6, 8, 15, 19, 20, 21, 24) All the adults drink while we are there, alot. We don't have a set rule but pretty much once you reach high school you can have a drink with a little alcohol in it but not much at all. As they kid gets older we allow a little more. My son, who is 20, has been drinking beer while there with the family since he was about 17 but usually only one or two at the most a night. We don't overdo it and get sloppy drunk but we are trying to teach our kids how to drink responsibly. We teach them how to drive and how to balance a check book. Why not this? I think hiding the alcohol just makes it that much more inviting. If it is out in the open and the adults are drinking and not making a big deal of it the kids don't seem to be that drawn to it.

My son tells me, and I have no choice but to believe him, that they always have a DD. They have one friend who does not drink and he usually is the driver when they go anywhere or they stay where they are.

 

[NotUrsula]

I think this is the important point that people are missing.. Surely NY can't be the only state where parents have been arrested, fined, and/or sued because someone elses teen got into booze in their home and ended up in a fatal car crash? Just the liability issue alone - the chance of losing your home - and knowing that teen got the booze from your home should be enough to make people at least pause and think about it..

Do people leave their loading guns lying around too? Alcohol in the hands of the wrong person is just as dangerous..

I'll admit that I haven't Shepardized it, but every case of that kind that I've ever heard about involves parents who knowingly provided the liquor.

There are laws requiring trigger locks and gun safes in existence in communities all over the US, but I don't know of any jurisdiction anywhere in the US that *requires* that all forms of alcohol and/or controlled-substance medications be kept under lock and key inside a private home. I suppose that you could sue under an attractive nuisance claim (the claim used for swimming pool and trampoline accidents), but that seems like a long shot. Being somewhat careless with the storage of alcohol or medications inside your own home may be irresponsible under some circumstances, but it normally is not a criminal offense.

 

[lilosurf11]

my old roommates were underage so i had to keep my alcohol in my room (not that it mattered since they drank anyway tssk tssk)

 

[mamacatnv]

Sorry, I have no interest in rearranging our household because of the possibility of a teen thief stealing from us. Besides which, if they are that motivated what's to stop them from finding my hiding place. We don't own guns, no problem there.

Where there is a will there is generally a way. Unsupervised kids can get into all sorts of trouble and often do but I am with you I'm not "teenage" proofing my house.

As far as liability, no I've heard of adults being arrested for knowingly supplying alcohol to children that are not their own ... it isn't illegal in this state to give your own child a drink in your house. I've never heard of an arrest where alcohol was stolen by their kid's friends without the knowledge of the adult. Frankly, in my list of worries in life having beer stolen from my fridge and then being arrested because of what the thief does with the beer just doesn't hit my top 10.

exactly - I know of people who have knowingly provided and IMO that is just wrong and they deserve to be held accountable. I can't tell you how many times I have overheard a parent say "well you know we had a bunch of the kids over, we just took their keys away so they couldn't drive" IMO - Idiots, just idiots.

I'm sure my kids probably did get their "first taste" of alcohol from us, since we serve it about once a month at family dinner. I'm sure they have had alcohol at weekend parties, as most kids do. I've only been called for a pick up duty once and I dutifully drove a whole bunch of them home and said nothing, just like is our deal.

We have the same deal. The kids know they can call at any time as do all their friends. I've been called out in the middle of the night a few times, once I had to send a cab, I had had a couple of beers and I have a strict personal not one drink and driving policy for myself.

From what my son tells me, the college crowd is actually pretty good about designated drivers or arranging cabs these days. Seems like they're learning.

Mine says the same thing and often because of our local law enforcement enforcing MIP/MIC's (Minor in Possession is when you are holding the beer and Consumption is when you are empty handed but intoxicated) the kids stay home, in their dorms or within walking or campus shuttle distance.

 

[redlight]

In the kitchen.

 

[golfgal]

I'll admit that I haven't Shepardized it, but every case of that kind that I've ever heard about involves parents who knowingly provided the liquor.

There are laws requiring trigger locks and gun safes in existence in communities all over the US, but I don't know of any jurisdiction anywhere in the US that *requires* that all forms of alcohol and/or controlled-substance medications be kept under lock and key inside a private home. I suppose that you could sue under an attractive nuisance claim (the claim used for swimming pool and trampoline accidents), but that seems like a long shot. Being somewhat careless with the storage of alcohol or medications inside your own home may be irresponsible under some circumstances, but it normally is not a criminal offense.

Provided it to OTHER kids, in most states it is legal for kids to have alcohol in the presence of their parents, even at restaurants. It is NOT illegal for a parent to serve their OWN children alcohol (a glass of wine at Thanksgiving, etc.).