Where do you keep your liquor?

[golfgal]

I knew there would be a long list of DISers whose kids would never touch alcohol, would never sneak alcohol, would never have friends who snuck alcohol. And some of you are right - maybe even nine out of ten of you. But that tenth kid is watering down your vodka and replacing some of that bourbon with Coke. Yes, your sweet teen who is responsible and knows right form wrong.

It's naive to assume you can "teach" kids to be responsible around alcohol or assume that kids who know "right from wrong" won't occasionally make a poor choice.

For the record, my concern is with liquor that leaves the house. I'm not averse to my teen having a glass of wine on a holiday or a few sips of a beer or a mixed drink within the family unit. And I know my college-age kids will drink on campus, even if they aren't 21.

But kids sneaking alcohol out of the house and getting caught - that's my worst fear. I'm just not willing to let that ride on the "my kids would never" bandwagon. Too much at stake when the kid who drank that alcohol he got from my liquor cabinet ended up crashing into a tree later on - or worse.

Teaching kids to be responsible with alcohol doesn't mean they won't ever drink. Teaching them that you CAN have one or two drinks and not have to get drunk. Teaching them that you don't drink and drive, period. If we go out for dinner and I have a drink, DH or one of the kids drive home-lead by example. Having a drink at home in the evening is teaching the kids that alcohol isn't this big mystery and you need to sneak around to see what the big deal is. Teaching kids that while you do not condone them drinking, if they do drink, CALL FOR A RIDE HOME. Our kids have seen enough kids get kicked off sports teams, etc. to not want to take that chance, at least for now. None of their friends drink either-for that same reason.

We had several conversations with DS18 as he was leaving for college about drinking on campus, etc. We told him flat out that we don't see anything wrong with a college kid having a beer at a party as long as he isn't driving or isn't riding with someone that is drinking and driving. DS is very anti-drinking and wasn't going to parties because of that. He has since learned that he can have a can of pop and be the designated driver so he doesn't miss out.

 

[PatsGirl]

My four bottles (2x wine/vodka/rum) are kept out in the open. I've been through the teens who stole your alcohol and still choose to leave it there. Truthfully, I'm more concerned with the multitude of prescription drugs that everyone leaves in their bathroom cabinets Pain killer addiction (leading to heroin use) is sky rocketing in my area.

 

[scrapquitler]

Some of the liquor in our house is in the refrigerator (the beer, the TGIF Mudslides), and some is in the cabinet, which is unlocked. I have no issue with my 14 year old, she knows that the liquor is an adult thing. If we have issues, then we will reevaluate later.

I grew up with it all unlocked and out, and we never had issues over it.

 

[Angelhalo]

In a bottom cabinet in the kitchen, but we have no kids.

 

[scrapquitler]

Teaching kids to be responsible with alcohol doesn't mean they won't ever drink. Teaching them that you CAN have one or two drinks and not have to get drunk. Teaching them that you don't drink and drive, period. If we go out for dinner and I have a drink, DH or one of the kids drive home-lead by example. Having a drink at home in the evening is teaching the kids that alcohol isn't this big mystery and you need to sneak around to see what the big deal is. Teaching kids that while you do not condone them drinking, if they do drink, CALL FOR A RIDE HOME. Our kids have seen enough kids get kicked off sports teams, etc. to not want to take that chance, at least for now. None of their friends drink either-for that same reason.

We had several conversations with DS18 as he was leaving for college about drinking on campus, etc. We told him flat out that we don't see anything wrong with a college kid having a beer at a party as long as he isn't driving or isn't riding with someone that is drinking and driving. DS is very anti-drinking and wasn't going to parties because of that. He has since learned that he can have a can of pop and be the designated driver so he doesn't miss out.

Totally agree.

 

[Let'sGoFlyAKite]

The "bar" is in the laundry room
all sorts of liquor and mixers
Beer/wine and coolers in the fridge. DH and I are not big drinkers, we have just accumulated a collection of goodies that we do like.

We never locked it up and never made alcohol a big deal or a mystery. DS was allowed to taste ours if he wanted from the time he was fairly young. Starting in mid teens he could have an occassional drink with us depending on the situation or what we were doing. About the time he turned 18 I used to keep a stash of Smirnoff coolers just for him - he had to ask, could never have more than 1-2 and they had to be consumed at home.
DS was here for trick or treating (he lives on campus at the local Univ) our tradition is cocoa and peppermint schnapps. He wanted some so I said "fine, but you are spending the night." he agreed, so he had a special cocoa and slept on the couch.

DS didn't start pinching the booze until he was in college and raiding the parents stash was far easier than trying to figure out how to get booze to say nothing of parents stash is far cheaper! He never tried to refill a bottle he just took the whole bottle! I got a bit ticked when I went to make a drink and my "good" gin was gone! We had a chat, now he informs me of what booze he pinched.

I will say with DS I never worried. DD is 12 and she and her friends are far sneakier than DS ever was. I find myself constantly evaluating my approach with her since I do not believe that just saying No is going to suffice like it did with her brother. Different kid, different approach.

I agree with everything "Mamacat" said. If you make it a BIG TABOO thing, then there will most likely be a problem. My hubby and I are drinkers, and we love our wine. If I have a party, there may be mixed drinks, beer, and wine. My kids are 12 and 8 and they are allowed a tiny sip. They know where the liquor is stored (one whole side of my china cabinet) and I feel that when they get older (17+) the temptation will be much less, because if they want a drink, I will allow them ONE. Then there will not be this great "Mystery" surrounding booze and how it makes you feel. My kids are pretty trustworthy, and until they prove me wrong I have no reason to feel they will deceive me.

 

[Polyluvr]

I agree with everything "Mamacat" said. If you make it a BIG TABOO thing, then there will most likely be a problem. My hubby and I are drinkers, and we love our wine. If I have a party, there may be mixed drinks, beer, and wine. My kids are 12 and 8 and they are allowed a tiny sip. They know where the liquor is stored (one whole side of my china cabinet) and I feel that when they get older (17+) the temptation will be much less, because if they want a drink, I will allow them ONE. Then there will not be this great "Mystery" surrounding booze and how it makes you feel. My kids are pretty trustworthy, and until they prove me wrong I have no reason to feel they will deceive me.

ITA Mine has always been out in the open; my DD is in college and I never made it a uber prohibited item~ they have to be taught moderation and responsibility somewhere.

 

[punkin]

I have two bottles of wine in the pantry (next to the cereal . That's the entire sum of my liquor stash. I don't like beer. The only hard liquor I drink is Vodka, and that only on special occasions when I go out. If I had it at home, it would probably take me 10 years to go through a liter bottle. The wine is there if we have unexpected guests (yes, this happens a lot in my life). After the guests drink it, I will replace it. Actually, it will probably be drunk on Thanksgiving.

About kids sneaking liquor or drugs...one of my DD's friends was very disappointed when there was no liquor cabinet to raid. Another of her friends told me she could sell my unused vicoden for me.

 

[Let'sGoFlyAKite]

I have two bottles of wine in the pantry (next to the cereal . That's the entire sum of my liquor stash. I don't like beer. The only hard liquor I drink is Vodka, and that only on special occasions when I go out. If I had it at home, it would probably take me 10 years to go through a liter bottle. The wine is there if we have unexpected guests (yes, this happens a lot in my life). After the guests drink it, I will replace it. Actually, it will probably be drunk on Thanksgiving.

About kids sneaking liquor or drugs...one of my DD's friends was very disappointed when there was no liquor cabinet to raid. Another of her friends told me she could sell my unused vicoden for me.

WOW! Sounds like your daughter needs new friends.....

 

[MickeysMommy]

You know that teeny tiny cabinet above the fridge....that's where we keep ours.

We rarely drink, so we don't have much on hand.

This is where my parents kept it and where I keep it and it was never an issue.

 

[ilovejack02]

Keep it in the kitchen : ) . My oldest is 21 , we have always kept it there except if he had a big group of friends over I might would put it out of sight, but only if it was a large group , if it was 2 or 3 kids I didn't worry easy to keep with that many kiddos lol. He and his friends knew hell would rain down if I caught them drinking and I never noticed any missing. We only keep a cpl of bottles at a time in the house , just what hubby and I like and we can tell if it disappears lol. Once he got 18 ish I wasn't so worried about him having a drink , but was not going to allow his friends to have a drop .

 

[DVCLiz]

Teaching kids to be responsible with alcohol doesn't mean they won't ever drink. Teaching them that you CAN have one or two drinks and not have to get drunk. Teaching them that you don't drink and drive, period. If we go out for dinner and I have a drink, DH or one of the kids drive home-lead by example. Having a drink at home in the evening is teaching the kids that alcohol isn't this big mystery and you need to sneak around to see what the big deal is. Teaching kids that while you do not condone them drinking, if they do drink, CALL FOR A RIDE HOME. Our kids have seen enough kids get kicked off sports teams, etc. to not want to take that chance, at least for now. None of their friends drink either-for that same reason.

We had several conversations with DS18 as he was leaving for college about drinking on campus, etc. We told him flat out that we don't see anything wrong with a college kid having a beer at a party as long as he isn't driving or isn't riding with someone that is drinking and driving. DS is very anti-drinking and wasn't going to parties because of that. He has since learned that he can have a can of pop and be the designated driver so he doesn't miss out.

Again, my issue is not with kids drinking at home. My issue is with kids taking the alcohol from my house and using it somewhere else.

And I am certain that I do not have the only teens in America who know all about the use of alcohol in moderation, would never dream of drinking and driving, call when they need a ride, etc. and STILL will at some point be tempted to take something from my liquor cabinet to a friend's house or a party. Because even though they see it modeled at home, hear it at school, etc. teens don't drink socially by having a cocktail in moderation like they saw mom and dad. They drink to get drunk and they aren't fussy about what they have to make it happen. DD22's first illicit drink was warm gin and Diet Dr. Pepper behind the garage at a friend's house in tenth grade - because that's what they had been able to sneak out with. I tease her about it now - when we are in a restaurant ansd she is perusing the drink menu I'll sometimes say, "Hey, wouldn't a nice warm gin and Diet Dr. Pepper hit the spot about now?" and she laughs and rolls her eyes at how stupid she was back in the day.

From my experience your DS is part of the minority when it comes to drinking in college. Even the most fervent "lips that touch liquor will never touch mine" President of the MADD Society friends of my daughter's in high school had loosened up considerably by the time they had been away at college a year or two.

 

[MushyMushy]

Ours is pretty much out in the open. The expensive stuff I'll hide in my bedroom, but we keep cheaper stuff in a hutch in our dining room and kitchen. So far we haven't had any major problems. Like someone else mentioned, I'm more concerned with hiding some of my medications.

Wow, I must have been a really horrible teen, because I snuck alcohol from my parents and my friends did too. I had one friend whose mother would talk to my mom (my mom always called to make sure the parents would be home when I would sleepover) and tell her what a great kid I was and what a pleasure it was to have me over, and that mom would go out on a date or out w/ her girlfriends and leave us home, unsupervised, with alcohol in the hosue. We drank, invited boys over, snuck into the neighbors pool.... never got caught. I cringe now when I think of the stuff we did and our parents had no idea. I had another friend whose older brother would buy for us, for a fee. We snuck alcohol into dances, in our hot cocoa at football games, would hang out in the woods and drink. We were good about having a designated driver or just staying at one friends house (usually the one whose parents were away or just really didn't supervise them).

You're not the only horrible teen! My friends and I frequently raided the liquor cabinets of one of my friends' house. Her parents didn't drink, but they kept a NICE fully stocked bar for some reason. I still envy them that nice bar.

 

[mkel34]

We keep it out in the open - in the wine cooler in the kitchen and in an unlocked cabinet.

Same here

 

[luvmy3]

Again, my issue is not with kids drinking at home. My issue is with kids taking the alcohol from my house and using it somewhere else.

I really don't think any of us here are naive to think that this kind of stuff doesn't happen, or that it won't happen to our kids. My feeling is that I am not going to treat my kids or their friends like criminals before the fact. I am not going to start locking up my things because of something that may happen, if it does then the rules change but I refuse to distrust my own kids if they haven't given me a reason to.

 

[monorailsilver]

In a closet on the floor. There isn't much, maybe 5 bottles? One is Amaretto that my dh will use once a year in his coffee.

We aren't big drinkers in this house. I think there is one beer in the fridge & it has been in there for a few months now. My son took a sip (my dad gave it to him!!) & claimed he liked beer. He was 6.

My parents never locked up their stash of stuff & they used to have parties when I was little back in the 70's. I think I took a sip or two of some of the stuff they had-whiskey, vodka, run & decided that I didn't like it.

So hopefully my kids do the same.

 

[okeydokey]

Our kids are 10 and 12 and I don't ever see me "locking" up my liquor. There is beer in the fridge and wine in the pantry.

 

[MichelleVW]

Well, since I am the OP, I can tell you that I spent many a Friday night drinking out of somebody's parents liquor when I was only 13. So that means not only was I drinking, but so were the teens I was with. I was probably drunk more often before I was 21, than after, and I'm almost 50 now. In fact, I know I was, because since I turned 21 I bet I haven't been drunk 10x.

Like somebody else mentioned, I would not only do it to stop my kids, but protect myself from lawsuits if something happened if someone else' kids were to get into my liquor.

Trust me, I raided my parents liquor too, but I still don't think mine needs to be locked up. I don't have any liquor they want my girls prefer smirnoff twists and I don't like them so we don't have them in the house!!

I know my DD19 drinks at college, but I also know she's not totally hammered every night because she complains about her friends that drink too much and that she hates being around people that are smashed.

 

[DVCLiz]

My general rule of thumb having been through one group of teens and now the second (two daughters and their friends) is "No alcohol in the house during junior and senior year (of high school)." Good kids can make dumb choices and the penalties for being the "provider" are severe enough now that I'm not willing to take the chance.

I really don't think any of us here are naive to think that this kind of stuff doesn't happen, or that it won't happen to our kids. My feeling is that I am not going to treat my kids or their friends like criminals before the fact. I am not going to start locking up my things because of something that may happen, if it does then the rules change but I refuse to distrust my own kids if they haven't given me a reason to.

I think your attitude is perfectly fair and reasonable. As I said, I've been to the rodeo before, and I am basing my decision on what I know about this age group of teens in my local community, what kinds of things my older daughter's group did and didn't try, and what I see with my younger daughter and her group of friends.

For a mostly non-drinker like myself, it makes more sense for me to drink away from home than take the chance that someone will find my liquor cabinet easy pickings. It's just a realistic response to my situation.

I am also a single parent and the last thing I want is for something to happen that gets my ex husband involved. That would complicate matters further in a number of unpleasant ways, all best avoided.

 

[ChristaDeVil]

We have a bar in the living room that houses most of our liquor and extra bottles of wine. There's always beer in the fridge and wine on my special shelf in the fridge. There's usually at least one liquor bottle on the kitchen counter. My child is 9 and we've always been open and honest with him about alcohol, even when he was younger and starting to ask questions. I think that education is better than hiding. We do put the liquor on the counter away when company comes so that we don't look like raging alcoholics.