When your parents shock you

[LaurenLC]

Yesterday I had a very serious conversation with my mother about me most likely not returning to work after my husband and I have our first child. Her opinion really wouldn’t make a difference regarding my decision; I just wanted her to be aware. I was also asking if she would be able to stay with us for two weeks in August, because I will return to work, but then give my notice.
I had prepared myself to hear her telling me that we were wrong, and for lots of her opinions. Her reaction went something like this..

“Oh, that makes sense. Just let me know when you want me to be there. Can I bring Snickers (her dog)? Do you want to go to Disney World the first week of December now if you don’t go back to work?”

That was the exact opposite of what I envisioned her response being.

 

[bumbershoot]

Very cool!

My mom didn't live to see me have a kidlet, but conversations in my 20s led me to realize that she never planned on working for a living, and wanted nothing but to be at home with us. It really changed my whole view of who she was (she had Superwoman signs in the kitchen, to inspire her to work her behind off) and what she had wanted...and changed my world as well.

 

[padams]

I will return to work, but then give my notice.

I hope you don't ever plan on going back to work because you are burning bridges if you show up after maternity leave and give notice that you are quitting.

 

[golfgal]

I hope you don't ever plan on going back to work because you are burning bridges if you show up after maternity leave and give notice that you are quitting.

Not true. If she has a good work history, most good employers will understand and if they don't, she probably doesn't want to continue to work there anyway.

 

[padams]

Sorry for duplicate, it looked like the first post didn't clear.

 

[LaurenLC]

I am not burning bridges; I am protecting myself and my benefits. It is appropriate to give a two week notice when you wish to stop working, which is what I plan on doing.... Thanks though.

 

[princessmom29]

I know that every employer who I worked for that has had this done to them has felt they were taken advantage of. They have felt that the women in question have stayed on the payroll through there leave to continue collecting benefits and, and never had any intention of coming back. It happened quite often at the one company I worked for that had a paid maternity leave policy. They paid you your full salary as long as the doctor deemed it medically necessay, usually 8 weeks. Lots of women would collect the salary through their leave, come back and give thier two weeks. They changed the policy becuase of it. When I left you had to work for 6 months following the leave to be eligible for the benefit, otherwise they would dock your last check and go after you for the rest.

 

[golfgal]

I know that every employer who I worked for that has had this done to them has felt they were taken advantage of. They have felt that the women in question have stayed on the payroll through there leave to continue collecting benefits and, and never had any intention of coming back. It happened quite often at the one company I worked for that had a paid maternity leave policy. They paid you your full salary as long as the doctor deemed it medically necessay, usually 8 weeks. Lots of women would collect the salary through their leave, come back and give thier two weeks. They changed the policy becuase of it. When I left you had to work for 6 months following the leave to be eligible for the benefit, otherwise they would dock your last check and go after you for the rest.

The company did no such thing, the insurance company that carried their short term disability paid their salary while on leave. While they are within their rights to do so, their policy could be seen as being discriminatory.

 

[LaurenLC]

I know that every employer who I worked for that has had this done to them has felt they were taken advantage of. They have felt that the women in question have stayed on the payroll through there leave to continue collecting benefits and, and never had any intention of coming back. It happened quite often at the one company I worked for that had a paid maternity leave policy. They paid you your full salary as long as the doctor deemed it medically necessay, usually 8 weeks. Lots of women would collect the salary through their leave, come back and give thier two weeks. They changed the policy becuase of it. When I left you had to work for 6 months following the leave to be eligible for the benefit, otherwise they would dock your last check and go after you for the rest.

This may very well be that company’s policy, but it isn't the case for mine.... I also think an attorney would have a field day with this.

 

[barkley]

The company did no such thing, the insurance company that carried their short term disability paid their salary while on leave. While they are within their rights to do so, their policy could be seen as being discriminatory.

not nescessarily discriminatory if it's applied across the board (to all compensable disabilities), and it might not be an insurance funded program.

a friend works for a company that has a company sponsored short and long term disability program. employees are eligible to so much paid time off based on their years of employment. when an employee is doctor ordered to be off work (minimum number of days has to be met), their salary is continued (if they had a doctor documented disability that exceeds the max they are eligible to they revert to then using up their sick leave, and the state they are in also has state disability insurance they could utilize). the program is VERY specific, and if an employee is released from the doctor to return to work, then within a specified period of time gives notice for any reason other than a doctor verified disability that precludes working (or some VERY stringent other reasons-like the documented disability of a spouse/child the person has to care for, a proven move of over so many miles from the worksite which makes it impracticle to commute)-the entirety of the amount paid as salary continuation (not anything they used under sick or other leave) is required to be paid back. i believe her company also had a minimum of a 6 month return to employment requirement as well.

there have been employees who have tried to get around repayment and the courts have upheld the employer (employees who make application to the program read and agree up front to this condition of acceptance).

 

[AKL_Megs]

I wouldn't feel guilty at all if I got pregnant, went on maternity leave, collected benefits, and then decided that I just couldn't leave my baby, and THEN gave my two-weeks.

It seems a little shady to know full well that you are going to do that, and make your other employees cover for you while you are gone for months, and then say, "I quit!" Let them hire someone NOW.

 

[kirstenb1]

I worked with a few women over the years who did this. Pretty uncool, and definitely gave a bad impression. And yes, it won't look good for any future employment prospects. If you know you're not returning, just resign before you leave to have your baby. That way your employer has some time to hire/train a replacement. Shoot, I gave 6 mths notice, so I could help train my replacement.

 

[love2disney]

And coming back to topic... ur mom is so understanding not for u but for the baby to come. Once parents change into grandparents the do an aboutface on nearly all issues and attitudes.

 

[LaurenLC]

Wow.. What kind responses I got for posting something personal.... A few things that weren't discussed in my original post because I didn't think I would need to defend myself.....

My current position in my company is going to be eliminated at some point this year, most likely by September... I would be given one months notice to hire someone to replace me in a junior level executive position and then train them to do my job. My position would then be eliminated. I ended up going out on leave three weeks ago (2 months prior to my due date) due to medical reasons brought on by the stress of my job. I had a doctor's appointment yesterday where my doctor told me that she really thought my job was slowly killing me during my pregnancy.

I have been an incredibly hard working, dedicated worker for this company for over 10 years. I was trying to share a light hearted conversation between my mother and I, I wasn't looking for anyone to throw stones at me... What a shocker!

 

[bgirldeb]

I did this with my job after the birth if my second child. I honestly hadn't made my mind up. I didn't go back in, just contacted my boss when I was sure of my decision. They obviously had no problem because they contacted me three years later when a position came open to offer it to me first if I wanted to go back to work. I think it depends on your relationship with your employer.

 

[AKL_Megs]

I wasn't looking for anyone to throw stones at me... What a shocker!

Welcome to the Dis!

 

[Tinker'n'Fun]

Yesterday I had a very serious conversation with my mother about me most likely not returning to work after my husband and I have our first child. Her opinion really wouldn’t make a difference regarding my decision; I just wanted her to be aware. I was also asking if she would be able to stay with us for two weeks in August, because I will return to work, but then give my notice.
I had prepared myself to hear her telling me that we were wrong, and for lots of her opinions. Her reaction went something like this..

“Oh, that makes sense. Just let me know when you want me to be there. Can I bring Snickers (her dog)? Do you want to go to Disney World the first week of December now if you don’t go back to work?”

That was the exact opposite of what I envisioned her response being.

Getting back on topic, even though I am past child-bearing age (well the procedure made sure of it) can I please adopt your Mom... Mine seems to be of a different opinion!!

 

[binny]

Wow.. What kind responses I got for posting something personal.... A few things that weren't discussed in my original post because I didn't think I would need to defend myself.....

My current position in my company is going to be eliminated at some point this year, most likely by September... I would be given one months notice to hire someone to replace me in a junior level executive position and then train them to do my job. My position would then be eliminated. I ended up going out on leave three weeks ago (2 months prior to my due date) due to medical reasons brought on by the stress of my job. I had a doctor's appointment yesterday where my doctor told me that she really thought my job was slowly killing me during my pregnancy.

I have been an incredibly hard working, dedicated worker for this company for over 10 years. I was trying to share a light hearted conversation between my mother and I, I wasn't looking for anyone to throw stones at me... What a shocker!

Im glad that your mom is being understanding Thats great.

on the rest of it, I have no idea why youre surprised at the reaction you got here. The CB has a whole different feel to it now days. People are just itching to fight about whatever, which is why a bunch of the original core group no longer posts here. Sad really

 

[LaurenLC]

Im glad that your mom is being understanding Thats great.

on the rest of it, I have no idea why youre surprised at the reaction you got here. The CB has a whole different feel to it now days. People are just itching to fight about whatever, which is why a bunch of the original core group no longer posts here. Sad really

I guess I'm not really surprised, but rather disappointed... I think it's pretty sad that people feel the need to pick on people via a website... Makes you wonder what they're like to people in 'real life'.

 

[bamajill]

Might be surprised by your mom's reaction, but not by the Diser's reaction .

I'm so glad your mom reacted that way. Sometimes it's the little things that just mean so much!

And that December trip to Disney sounds awesome! Enjoy this special time.