When you invite people over for dinner.....

[maslex]

and they ask if they can bring something and you say sure, "how about maybe some soda and an italian bread" OR "how about a dessert" or whatever.

You get the idea. It can be family or friends, doesn't matter.

Just wondering, when they leave your house, does your company usually leave the stuff that they brought over to your house with you or do they normally take it home?

And how about if you were the company? Would you leave the dessert (or whatever your brought) with them?

 

[FlightlessDuck]

When people ask us if they can bring something, 95% of the time, we say no.

The other 5% of the time, we end up using it all. Mostly of the time it's rolls or soda.

 

[NHdisneylover]

I'd say they leave it about half the time and take t about half. I always offer to send the leftovers back with them, as well as some of the other food.

I generally leave whatever, but if the host offers to send it home I sometimes take a serving for each of the kids (if they were not invited and especially if it was a dessert they would really like).

 

[Kellydelly]

I always offer my guests the leftovers they brought when they are leaving, when I take something to a party and it doesn't get eaten I usually take it home with me. It's most often a hotdish so I just take my dish full of the leftovers home .

 

[maslex]

When people ask us if they can bring something, 95% of the time, we say no.

The other 5% of the time, we end up using it all. Mostly of the time it's rolls or soda.

Yeah, we usually say no too. And if they do bring something, most of the time we'd use it all up. BUT let's say you don't use everything up and there's 2 half empty bottles of soda left and a whole italian bread left. Does your guests usually bring that stuff home with them or leave it?

This happened last night at our house (actually plently of others times too with the same people). I'm just curious if this is normal or if I'm just ***-backwards. LOL

 

[design_mom]

For me, it mostly depends on whether it's still in my dish.

If I bring something homemade in a dish or on a platter, I take the dish/platter home. I will usually say "would you like to keep some of ____" but if they don't take it, I take the whole thing (leftovers and dish) home.

If it's something prepackaged, like rolls or chips or soda or something, I leave it unless the host insists I take it.

It usually works the same way when someone comes to my house. (Except for my SIL who takes back whatever's left of whatever she brought -- prepackaged or homemade.) Personally, I generally don't want to be bothered with washing other people's dishes or finding containers for all kinds of leftovers, so I'm fine if they take home whatever they brought.

In your example, I would have left the soda and the bread, unless you told me to take it home. However, if I'd brought salad in my salad bowl or lasagna in my lasagna pan, I probably would have asked you if you'd wanted the leftovers. If you didn't, I would have taken it home.

 

[Erin1700]

Even if the hostess offered, I would not take home what I brought. Perhaps if it was in a crock pot or something I would, but not rolls or soda.

 

[powellrj]

If it is in my dish, I usually take it home with me. Sometimes the hostess will take what is in the dish out and keep it and other times they will send the dish home with me with the contents still in it. If it is something disposable, I just leave it.

I do the same if people bring things to my house.

 

[Janepod]

I say no, then they always bring wine or dessert anyway. They always leave it.

Likewise, I've never brought anything home from someone else's home (except for, like, when they've had a ton of leftovers and insisted.)

 

[wiigirl]

Even if the hostess offered, I would not take home what I brought. Perhaps if it was in a crock pot or something I would, but not rolls or soda.

Same here....my rule is I only take leftovers if a dish I want back is involved.

 

[shoney]

I would never expect to take home anything I brought to someone's home. I consider it a gift to the host family.

I've never had a guest just take home something that they brought.

 

[TinkerBelled]

Yeah, we usually say no too. And if they do bring something, most of the time we'd use it all up. BUT let's say you don't use everything up and there's 2 half empty bottles of soda left and a whole italian bread left. Does your guests usually bring that stuff home with them or leave it?

This happened last night at our house (actually plently of others times too with the same people). I'm just curious if this is normal or if I'm just ***-backwards. LOL

It depends on what the thing is. If it can be construed as a hostess present--a bottle of wine, say--it's always left. If it's food they've cooked, it probably goes back 50% of the time, most often when they take the dish so we don't have to wash it; in that case, usually they offer some leftovers. If it's a standalone thing, for me it depends whether it's been used or not. Used, like a half-eaten loaf of bread, they leave with me and I'd be surprised if they took it with them. If it hasn't been touched, they also usually leave it, but I wouldn't blink too hard if they took it. I'm often drowning in leftovers after a party, and I don't need an entire extra baguette.

The soda, to me, seems most peculiar. It's a low-ticket item, it's half-drunk, and it's in no way unique or special (as in, they can always go to the store and get another bottle of Coke). That would make me blink.

 

[LuLuO]

I usually try to leave what I bring but then I also try to send people home with doggie bags. I'm not really into leftovers.

 

[Kellydelly]

If I were the person who brought the soda and bread and you were the hostess asking me if I wanted to take it home I would have probably taken the bread but not the soda. I figure if you are asking me, I assume you don't want or need the bread . I figure the hostess will have enough of their own leftovers, they don't need mine too.

 

[jeepgirl30]

We usually tell people not to worry. Most people insist or just bring something. If I take something I do not take it home with me. If its in a dish of mine I just get it later.

One time after a kids game we invited people over to our house. It was a last min thing so I didn't have anything prepared. We did have soda for kids and drinks for adults. One family brought pizza. When they went to leave they took the leftover pizza! It felt really odd.

 

[U2_rocks!]

Depends. The default seems to be to leave what you brought, but many times that changes due to circumstances. e.g.
- lots of leftovers, hostess might send some home with whoever wants, especially if they brought dishes and have space in those dishes to load up other things (this happens a lot at our family gatherings)
- I might be wanting back my dish but there's still food in it, and when I ask for another dish to put the leftovers in to leave for the hostess, she tells me "no, take it all with you, we don't have room/won't eat it" etc. (and vice versa)
- I might bring soda or wine and the hostess doesn't usually drink it/doesn't want any left in her house, so she tells me to take what's left home with me (and vice versa)

These things are not set in stone.

 

[maslex]

OP here.
So here's the story. I had gone grocery shopping yesterday morning and got everything I needed for the week. A little while after I got home, my husband asked me if I wanted to invite his sister & her husband over for spaghetti. I said that I didn't mind but I wish I would have known while I was at the store so I could pick up an extra italian bread & some soda. I had already had an italian bread at home.

He invites them over, she asked if she could bring something, so he asked her if she would bring some bread & soda. So she came over with an italian bread, a french bread and 2 bottles of soda. (I don't think she realized we already had one loaf of italian but whatever) And I really don't care what flavor of soda she brings but I have noticed that she always brings a bottle of her favorite and her husband's favorite.

At the end of the meal, we ate the french bread that she brought, didn't touch the italian bread and drank 1/2 bottle each of the sodas. When she left, she took the bread & both bottles of soda. In the big scheme of things, it really isn't a big deal but I just thought it was weird. She does this all the time. I guess it's just not something that I would ever think of doing. With the exception of what other people have said about bringing a dish or crock pot with food in it. I would naturally ask the host if she would like some and if she didn't I would then bring it home. But I've noticed that when we're over her house for dinner as she's cleaning up, she'll pack up leftovers in her fridge or store leftover chips/cookies or whatever else I would have brought and stashes them away kind of quickly as if to say, "I'm putting this stuff away before she takes it home with her"

Guess it just strikes a cord with me sometimes on her actions. Like I said, it really isn't a big deal but it's just something that I've noticed about her that I never noticed with other people that have been to dinner at my house.

 

[babyrich]

OP here.
So here's the story. I had gone grocery shopping yesterday morning and got everything I needed for the week. A little while after I got home, my husband asked me if I wanted to invite his sister & her husband over for spaghetti. I said that I didn't mind but I wish I would have known while I was at the store so I could pick up an extra italian bread & some soda. I had already had an italian bread at home.

He invites them over, she asked if she could bring something, so he asked her if she would bring some bread & soda. So she came over with an italian bread, a french bread and 2 bottles of soda. (I don't think she realized we already had one loaf of italian but whatever) And I really don't care what flavor of soda she brings but I have noticed that she always brings a bottle of her favorite and her husband's favorite.

At the end of the meal, we ate the french bread that she brought, didn't touch the italian bread and drank 1/2 bottle each of the sodas. When she left, she took the bread & both bottles of soda. In the big scheme of things, it really isn't a big deal but I just thought it was weird. She does this all the time. I guess it's just not something that I would ever think of doing. With the exception of what other people have said about bringing a dish or crock pot with food in it. I would naturally ask the host if she would like some and if she didn't I would then bring it home. But I've noticed that when we're over her house for dinner as she's cleaning up, she'll pack up leftovers in her fridge or store leftover chips/cookies or whatever else I would have brought and stashes them away kind of quickly as if to say, "I'm putting this stuff away before she takes it home with her"

Guess it just strikes a cord with me sometimes on her actions. Like I said, it really isn't a big deal but it's just something that I've noticed about her that I never noticed with other people that have been to dinner at my house.

Thats family

 

[tink_n_pooh]

If it is in my dish, I usually take it home with me. Sometimes the hostess will take what is in the dish out and keep it and other times they will send the dish home with me with the contents still in it. If it is something disposable, I just leave it.

I do the same if people bring things to my house.

This

 

[tink_n_pooh]

For a party a year or two ago at my SIL's house her SIL asked if she could bring anything, my SIL suggested maybe a bottle of wine but she didn't need anything. Other SIL brings a bottle of white wine, drinks the entire bottle by herself and hands my SIL the receipt to be reimbursed for the bottle of wine.

My SIL no longer suggests anything to the other SIL.

Now THAT is family