When you have guests how do you explain expectations?

[FreeTime]

We have invited family on a DVC trip with us this year. It will be their b-day and Christmas presents for the year. We have gotten them a 2 br for their family of 5 (and grandpa will be staying with them). Also, we have include park passes for 2 days and MVMCP. That being said we want to spend time with our immediate family during the trip. These relatives are the kind that say "we will do what you do?" How do we explain to them that we only intend on spending 2 days with them and maybe havinf the occasional meal our outlet run with them the rest of the week? If they don't buy additional tickets, we will be fine. But if they do they will follow us all week! I am not wanting to be rude to them and we are looking forward to the trip. We just want some away time also. So how do you set these rules or should I plan on spending every minute wit them?
Thanks

 

[PamOKW]

You need to discuss things with them. If they haven't been to WDW you may need to give them some guidance and explain ticket options, etc.

You are giving them a terrific gift, don't let it be spoiled by hurt feelings. Talk it all out now. Maybe map out a rough schedule including the "free time" and explaining how you want to give everyone some freedom to explore.

 

[dsmith]

Maybe let them borrow one of your Disney planning books (you DO have several don't you?) Or pick up one for them.

When I give a copy to anyone I know that's never been to WDW they really appreciate all the extra info. They may just end up ditching you for the whole trip and doing their own thing.

 

[gopherit]

If you want some alone time (but no hurt feelings) I would make it very clear that you are Disney vets, and as such, will want some time to cruise at a different pace than they will. They may resist and say, oh but that's ok -- we will just follow you! This is a response also born of fear -- where will we go! Whatever will we do? Here's where you lend an early helping hand -- help them set up an agenda for those days. Help them plan it, asking them what they like, the "must-dos", etc. Map out an appropriate day's path for them. Explain again that these are things they will really want to do, but that you, having been there, done that, do not need to do, but you surely would feel AWFUL if they missed them on YOUR account! Then, fully knowing what THEIR schedule will be, you can plan how much you want your schedules to overlap (if at all!) For example, if they plan a full day of fun at EPCOT, perhaps you cruise MGM, then say, Oh, you'll be dining at EPOCT -- we love it for dinner -- we will meet you and stick around for Illuminations! They will enjoy the peace that comes with knowing they have a "plan" and that you will occasionally cross paths during that plan!

We ALWAYS travel with family, and it has been my experience that the very BEST trips always allow for time apart. That way, everyone sees what they want to. Plus, we get more "stories" that way to share over dinner -- if we all go to the same places, what would we discuss? Last trip, we had lots of "forks in the road" where we went separate ways. One day most of our crew went to TL; I took DD to a princess bfast and Mk for girly gal fun. That night, I took our teenage nieces into MK for E-ride night. Another day dh and I took our crew to BW to pool hop while BIL, SIL and their fam went to MK. Another time 2/3 went to MK, another 3rd went to MGM, and we all met at Epcot for dinner! We ahd lots of fun discussing over dinner our exploits for the day, and each group felt they had done what they wanted that day! They key is to never make anyone feel that "your path" was in some way more magical, better-planned or somehow superior than the plan the other crew took. Just enjoy everyone's happiness, and for those whose plans might have had snags (like my poor dh's decision to stay in MK with BIL and our ds to ride BTMRR and SpalshMtn -- only to have it thunder, lightening, and DUMP water for the next 2 hrs and close both rides while they stood in it and learned what it's really like to be SpongeBob SoggyPants firsthand), find a way to laugh and make a memory out of it! <a href='http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb008' target='_blank'><img src='http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/16/16_6_2.gif' alt='Thunderstorms' border=0></a> <a href='http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb008' target='_blank'><img src='http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/10/10_1_12.gif' alt='Smiley Shell' border=0></a>

 

[Pa@okw95]

After having guests down there many times I would say it is best to get everthing out front before you go on your trip. Try not to plan to many things with them would be my suggestion. Everyone has different tastes and has a different inner clock, don't try to get them to go with your tastes and inner clock. I am going to have guests my next trip. I told them we may have a dinner or two together but for the most part they are on their own. They are experienced WDW people and I know one of them very well, she and I are on different ends of the spectrum on just about everything, one meal with her will be about it. We both will enjoy ourselves a lot better that way. Try to know your guests, sometimes that is impossible, so just spit everything out before the trip.

 

[Richyams]

I like the planning book....it would offer a cool way to say up front that you are only planning two days with them.....you could have Mon and Wed already blocked out with their name and a park and a question mark, have another day or two marked with something else that kind of excludes tham, this would just be a work in progress as you show it to them and I think it would clearly show your plan without you telling them that you can barley stand to spend time with them.

 

[rocketriter]

I suggest a "town meeting" either the day before the trip or the first night when you arrive. In a friendly and supportive way, invite anyone in the group to propose ground rules that will make them feel comfortable. You never know what will come up. For example, the last time we did this one of the adults said, "Lights out in the bedroom if anyone is trying to sleep," which we would never have thought of, and one of the kids said, "Somebody holds my hand whenever I get scared."

As part of this discussion, you can set expectations having to do with things that are together and things that are "free choice." You can also set expectations about getting up early or not, meeting each other for meals or not, and so forth. This is especially valuable if there's somebody in the group who's always early or always late; in that case you can simply unlink meeting times so that one person endlessly combing his or her hair doesn't tie everyone else down.

At the end, you set the expectation that if somebody is going outside the ground rules it's OK to call them on it, not as dictatorship but as a point of honor.

You'll find that when everybody airs their own likes and dislikes in a friendly negotiation, the group as a whole gets more sensitive to each others' needs. You'll be amazed at how much comfort can be gained by doing this.

 

[Sammie]

Definitely settle it before you leave.

As others suggested give them a guidebook and simply and kindly, but firmly say we have made a daily plan of what "we" plan to do. We would love to spend 2 days in the parks with you, the meal or meals you discussed and the day shopping. I think you need to know before hand when you want to do this. So they know your plans are already decided.

Then say this leaves these days open for your own planning. This guidebook will help you and if you need ideas or have questions please ask.

If as you say they reply, we will just do what you do. Kindly and firmly say that is not what we had planned and do you need some help planning your days.

Having your days already planned out will make it easier.

 

[wilderness01]

OH this is a sticky situation because you don't want to hurt their feelings. Why don't you say that you are doing your family Christmas one day and then a few date days on two other days? We have invited family as well this Christmas, and while we will not spend every waking moment together, I think they would be offended if we flat out said we didn't want to see them but 1 or 2 days. Maybe you can plan on getting to the park earlier than them or staying later, that way at least part of your day will be broken up. Couldn't you have invited them for only the last few days of your trip so this wouldn't be an issue? Just a thought, not being critical. Have a good trip.

 

[gracelrm]

We are taking extended family with us this summer and we have wondered the same. Thanks for all the advice. I think we'll do all the early entry mornings and think most of them will sleep-in - so hoping to avoid too much "togetherness".

 

[FreeTime]

Thanks everyone for your advice! I am just wanting to make sure it isn't like our last trip where the only rule was that each family got an adults night out while the other parents babysat. Guess who never got the adults night out?!