When you go to WDW with another family do you...

[tiff211]

stay at the same place? Do you try to match your schedules? Have you ever gone with someone who doesn't really think Disney is *gasp* "all that"? My friend has been saying she wants to take her kids there but she doesn't want to go to the parks everyday. She has challenged me to plan a vacation for all of us after I mentioned we may postpone our April trip until June. She knows I am a planner and doesn't want me to plan her daily schedule just lodging and what parks what days. She said she is fine if they just hang out by the pool all day and not go to the parks. I tried to explain that WDW is not that kind of vacation. At least it's not for us. Am I getting in over my head, will a trip to Disney be our demise?! She doesn't "get" the whole Disney thing. I however, love a challenge! Should I just plan to go in April as originially planned. She asked her kids (DS7 & DD6) of they would like to go with our family and they were very excited. This is someone who I have been friends with since 8th grade. I love across the street and our kids play together all the time and we are usually at each other house for dinner once a week. Any advice?

 

[bluerendezvous]

We traveled with three other families and had a great time! They put me in charge of planning meals together (only table service) and we linked our reservations so that when we checked in at ASSports we had rooms next to each other. Other than that, we all pledged that "we were not joined at the hip." We talked alot on cell phones from all over the parks when we weren't together and met up for meals and swimming before bed each night. It was perfect for us and a very memorable trip!
In fact, we've decide to try this method with the family in May. I hope it works just as well!

 

[bluerendezvous]

By the way... Your girls are absolutely adorable!

 

[Esteri]

Now that I think about it - we've never been to WDW without taking someone else along. Huh, maybe we should try it by ourselves sometime. We probably wouldn't know how to act. We do always stay at the same hotel - it makes the logistics easier.

Most important: We always set a clear expection out of the gate: "No one should feel obligated to do what we're doing. It's completely OK with us for you to go off and do your own thing. And vice versa."

Then we plan the vacation we want to go on. We share all the information since, if our friends or family might want to come along we might need ressies for more folks. Usually, we'll try and find one or two days where we all do something together - in that case we will talk about what's most important to everyone and plan for it. Sometimes it's a dinner show. Sometimes a day in the park. There's always something that everyone can get into. Perhaps for your friend it'll be one of the water parks - loads of pool sitting to do there.

We've discovered that as we start to share information, people start to get educated about what's available, and start to have opinions. Let's face it - it's pretty overwhelming for the first timer. As they start to get an idea of what they want their vacation to be - and maybe it is hanging out by the pool. Then we start to see how / if that can be worked into what we want our vacation to be. Perhaps we schedule in an afternoon swim where we meet up with our sunbathing friends.

The Key is to talk, talk, talk. It makes me crazy when folks say "Oh, just plan it and we'll do what you do." My usual response is something like "I can't meet expectations that I don't know about." or "If you don't provide input / participate now, you don't get to complain later." Then I quite stubbornly continue to give them information - the last thing I want on my vacation is a bunch of complainers. Eventually, they catch on.

If your friend doesn't start to clue in as you talk about it then you might have her tune into the Travel Channel or one of the other programs that gives information about WDW. Even the WDW planning DVD might work - though I've never seen it.

I think if you start with the premise - that it's OK for everyone to have the vacation they want. And it's OK for us not to spend every minute of the day together. Then it becomes a lot easier to make everyone happy. Since, in the end, the only happiness you are responsible for is your own.

 

[tiff211]

By the way... Your girls are absolutely adorable!

Thank you! And great advice!

 

[tiff211]

Now that I think about it - we've never been to WDW without taking someone else along. Huh, maybe we should try it by ourselves sometime. We probably wouldn't know how to act. We do always stay at the same hotel - it makes the logistics easier.

Most important: We always set a clear expection out of the gate: "No one should feel obligated to do what we're doing. It's completely OK with us for you to go off and do your own thing. And vice versa."

Then we plan the vacation we want to go on. We share all the information since, if our friends or family might want to come along we might need ressies for more folks. Usually, we'll try and find one or two days where we all do something together - in that case we will talk about what's most important to everyone and plan for it. Sometimes it's a dinner show. Sometimes a day in the park. There's always something that everyone can get into. Perhaps for your friend it'll be one of the water parks - loads of pool sitting to do there.

We've discovered that as we start to share information, people start to get educated about what's available, and start to have opinions. Let's face it - it's pretty overwhelming for the first timer. As they start to get an idea of what they want their vacation to be - and maybe it is hanging out by the pool. Then we start to see how / if that can be worked into what we want our vacation to be. Perhaps we schedule in an afternoon swim where we meet up with our sunbathing friends.

The Key is to talk, talk, talk. It makes me crazy when folks say "Oh, just plan it and we'll do what you do." My usual response is something like "I can't meet expectations that I don't know about." or "If you don't provide input / participate now, you don't get to complain later." Then I quite stubbornly continue to give them information - the last thing I want on my vacation is a bunch of complainers. Eventually, they catch on.

If your friend doesn't start to clue in as you talk about it then you might have her tune into the Travel Channel or one of the other programs that gives information about WDW. Even the WDW planning DVD might work - though I've never seen it.

I think if you start with the premise - that it's OK for everyone to have the vacation they want. And it's OK for us not to spend every minute of the day together. Then it becomes a lot easier to make everyone happy. Since, in the end, the only happiness you are responsible for is your own.

Do you think it makes a difference if we stay together in a pool home or stay in separate hotel rooms? Still debating onsite/offsite....

 

[Esteri]

Do you think it makes a difference if we stay together in a pool home or stay in separate hotel rooms? Still debating onsite/offsite....

I'm not certain I'm the right person to ask. We're DVC Members - so we usually stay together in one of the villas. The one time we stayed at Shades of Green, we had separate hotel rooms. I haven't stayed offsite in many years.

I think the answer to that question depends on the personalities involved. And the general pros and cons of on- versus off-site stay.

 

[mikayla'sMom]

From experience.....You can spend lots of time with people and NOT be able to vacation together! After other failed travels with other people, we now vacation with my BIL's family every year in North Carolina. We have had some issues over the years, but more when the children were young.

This year both families are going to Orlando the same week. In addition, my MIL & SIL will now be going also. My BIL's family is staying at his MIL's house, my MIL & SIL will be at POR and we will be at OKW. This is a good thing! I would highly recommend seperate accomodations. If all goes real well, save the house for a future trip.

Disney can turn regular people cranky very quickly, if you don't go into it with the right attitude. You have to relax and expect things will never go exactly as planned.

Disney is a hard place to vacation with other people if they don't get the "Disney thing" IMHO. It sounds like you may have opposite ideas for this vacation. Even if the adults agree to seperate and do their own thing the kids may want to do things together and this could create an issue.

Are there an even number of children? If not there could be issues on who goes it alone on the rides. Of course, they will probably argue about who goes on with who anyway LOL.

This is my honest opinion. This is not to say it can't be done, it just depends on the people. You are spending alot of money for this trip, it is up to you if you want to take the chance.

 

[mexican-mouseketeers]

We just shared a townhome with another family back in september and it was great.

We have 1 dd who turned 4 in the trip and their girls were 3 and 10 months.

We agreed on doing the Cinderella dinner at the Grand Floridian on one night, but the rest of the time each family did its own.

And we had completely diferent schedules, I am sort of a Disney comando freak, so I wanted to arrive to the parks around opening time and knew which parades I wanted to watch and on what days, they, on the other hand, would arrive at the parks around noon because the husband is not an early riser.

I think the key was that even if we shared a house, each family was free to do their own thing, and MOST IMPORTANT, each family had their own car.

I am going next april with dd (4), a friend with her dd (5 on the trip), my MIL with my nephew (4) and my cousin´s cousin that I always visit when we go to San Antonio, with her ds (4), and I decided to stay onsite because of the transportation flexibility, offsite would be a lot more cheaper, but I don´t see each of them renting a car, and it would drive me crazy to herd 8 people to and from the parks, and all that waiting for everyone would surely make me kill somebody, so I guess there are times when offsite is best and times when onsite is the way to go.

Julie

 

[bkfree]

We leave in 6 days for our first trip to Disney with our kids WITHOUT anyone else along. I have to be honest and admit that while we are so excited about the trip, some of the excitement is that we are going "just us". Our last trip we went with our best friends(who are also family) and their children who are the same age as ours. We live very close together and do all kinds of things together. But on the vacation we learned some big lessons on ways were are not simpatico on a trip like WDW.
My first red flag should have been that they thought driving 2 minivans for 11 hours sounded much more fun than 90 minute plane trip.We caved because our 2 are great travelers and we have made a similiar drive to Tampa several times. Their 3 are not good car riders, Go figure.
1)We get our clothes and backpacks ready the night before and bathe our kids at night. We are then pretty quick getting up and out the door in the mornings. My husband and I each taking a child and getting them ready.
Other family did baths in the morning, got their stuff together in the morning etc. I should say that Mom did this while Dad sat in the couch and drank coffee. They had 3 kids to our 2. So we spent most mornings pacing and trying to help them along.Finally on day 3 I told him to getoff his lazy a** and help her. (I have known him for 28 years so he takes this from me very well and he did get up and help. I think it did not occur to him to do this unitl I pointed it out.)
2) At the parks we walk a mdium pace and can make decisions on what to do pretty quickly and easily. THEY mosey along at a snail's pace and cannot decide what to do. This was so exasparating that on our last day my husband announced on the way to MK that each family should go their own way and we would meet up that night at Epcot for Illuminations. Love my Husband.
3) Our 2 are pretty easy going, patient and do not whine or throw fits. MIne will also go on pretty much any ride. They had 1 who was scared of everything, 1 who WHINED and pitched a fit at least hourly or more often. And a third who could not enjoy what we were currently doing because he was so anxious to know what we would do next.And he did not recognize anyone's personal space so he drove me and my daughter crazy.

We love them dearly but it will be a LONG time until we plan another vacation with them, if ever.Maybe when the kids are teens. We learned a great lesson in that Disney is a trip that we plan for a year, costs more than any other vacation we go on and we have every right to have high expectations for it and to do it OUR WAY. If I am ever talked into sharing the magic with anyone again. I will make sure that each family makes their own plans, can function independantly and not try to do the parks in a pack. The saying "Familiarity Breeds Contempt" reared its ugly head that trip.
Ahhhhhh, but in 6 days, the trip that memories are made of begins......
On a plane, at a Deluxe and just our Family of Four

 

[monorailsilver]

If she is not into Disney then I wouldn't plan it at all for her this way if something happens that she does not like she can't fault you on ruining her vacation.

I would however, give her the dates you are going, tell her where you are staying, which days you are doing what park (if you plan that way vs me who plans when I wake up in the am) & then give her a list of hotels to stay at including where you are staying.

This way she can pick where she wants to be & what she wants to do for certain days.

I'd also let her know if you have any ADR's & to where & ask her if she wants to be included so you can include her in your reservation.

We used to go with a group of about 30 people (6-8 families). We all stayed at the same resort but we all didn't go to the same park on every day but sometimes we did.

In 2005, I planned a trip & then found out my mother's cousin was going the same time & my parents were going to tag along with us too but they didn't want to spend the entire time with us.

They left before us & stayed at the BC with my mother's cousin for the first few days & then the remainer of their vacation they moved to the Poly with us.

It was nice to have extra hands but it was also stressful even though they were my parents to be with them. They didn't care where they went, they just went with us.

Our next trip will just be the 5 of us.

 

[mlraabe]

Both of our trips have been with friends and family. The first time we went both parites agreed that we would pretty much do our own things and meet back at the house for dinner. This worked so well - we had a great time. The kids enjoyed the evening in the pool with their friends and we had a great time in the park without trying to keep everyone together. We did not know how well this worked until our last trip! My cousin's family came with us. We have 4 but they are very easy going and can handle going all day at the parks. Their 2 were miserable. The 2 year old was terrified of everything and the 4 year old wasn't much better. By tuesday they decided they would start doing their own thing (which we had suggested before the trip started anyway but they thought we would stay together). The rest of the trip was wonderful!!! We met for dinner at the house or in the park and the parades and other than that everyone did their own thing.

 

[SoonerGirl]

We went with friends on our last trip in October and all had a great time! We got connecting rooms at CBR and we ate dinner together every night but two. We spent alot of time together in the parks, but not the entire time. We all agreed before we left that we would have our own family time and that we didn't need to do everything together. It worked out great, the kids loved having their friends along to play with!

PS - I love the picture in your siggy, such beautiful girls you have!

 

[mericletwins]

stay at the same place? Do you try to match your schedules? Have you ever gone with someone who doesn't really think Disney is *gasp* "all that"? My friend has been saying she wants to take her kids there but she doesn't want to go to the parks everyday. She has challenged me to plan a vacation for all of us after I mentioned we may postpone our April trip until June. She knows I am a planner and doesn't want me to plan her daily schedule just lodging and what parks what days. She said she is fine if they just hang out by the pool all day and not go to the parks. I tried to explain that WDW is not that kind of vacation. At least it's not for us. Am I getting in over my head, will a trip to Disney be our demise?! She doesn't "get" the whole Disney thing. I however, love a challenge! Should I just plan to go in April as originially planned. She asked her kids (DS7 & DD6) of they would like to go with our family and they were very excited. This is someone who I have been friends with since 8th grade. I love across the street and our kids play together all the time and we are usually at each other house for dinner once a week. Any advice?

We usually go with extra family and when other families we know are going to be there. With the family we all stay in a 2 bdrm villa or at least at the same resort. I think staying on site at the same resort is key. If you had an older child and the other family had an older child they could do something with a parent from one family and other parents and the younger kids could do something else sometimes. It makes it much easier to be flexible I think.

With the other people we know that usually go at the same time we go, they may or may not stay in the same resort, but we try to do the same park on the same day and we call and meet up when both families are at the park. We DO NOT set a time to meet or try to leave together. When you are ready, you go. Saves alot of pacing and moaning from the group that is up and ready and takes the pressure off the people who like a more leisurely start.

This being said, this Easter we are going with a family that we have not gone with before and we are very opposite in our approaches, I can already tell. The other girl is a control freak and wants every meal planned, every park day planned and goes to the park all day long until they close.

My family is much more relaxed. We don't make ADR's for more then 2 meals in a say 10 day period and we generally decide what park we are going to the night before based on who has what hours. We also like to come back and spend time at the pool and relax! after all, this is vacation. The kids also really want pool time and the pool is so fabulous who can blame them?

I see possible disaster looming in our future. So far, as a meeting in the middle, we have made dinner ADR's and for me, that is where it will stop. If they want to continue making plans that is fine and we feel no need to be joined at the hip, but I get the feeling that they won't be able to easily adapt to the "everyone do what you want plan and when we meet up, we meet up."

I think as long as you make it clear that everyone can plan their day as they choose, but maybe set aside certain things to do together, like ADR's then you know you'll be together at least once everyday.

 

[disneyfreak74]

I am really taking in all this wonderful advice and info. We, too, are leaving in a little over 2 weeks with another family. Granted this trip was planned way back when it was going to be my family of 4, Brother in law and his son. Now we add his fiancee and her 18 month old. But my hubby said MAYBE 100 times during our "planning" dinner that we were not going to spend the ENTIRE trip with each other. That it was ok for them to plan some things. Then he asks. . . is there anything that you guys wanna do? The answer. . .no just whatever you plan. So that means they understand correct? You think? Maybe with him saying it THAT many times? I am DIE HARD Disney planner. . .I know where I wanna be and when. My "platoon" does not take well to slackers. . . please wish us some pixie dust PLEASE!!!!!

 

[Esteri]

.... But my hubby said MAYBE 100 times during our "planning" dinner that we were not going to spend the ENTIRE trip with each other. That it was ok for them to plan some things. Then he asks. . . is there anything that you guys wanna do? The answer. . .no just whatever you plan. So that means they understand correct? You think? Maybe with him saying it THAT many times? I am DIE HARD Disney planner. . .I know where I wanna be and when. My "platoon" does not take well to slackers. . . please wish us some pixie dust PLEASE!!!!!

Just put your concern on the table (in a kindly manner). Something like:

"It's really important to us to get an early start in the parks. That means we walk out the door at o-dark-thirty (or whatever time you usually leave). If that's difficult for you with the baby, it's OK for you to leave later. We won't get angry if you're not with us. But, understand, we won't wait in order to go together either."

I think if you show that you're understanding of the potential difficulties of their situation, yet set expectations on how you will be "doing" your vacation up front you'll be OK. They'll either be up and ready to go. Or not.

You might think about buying them a copy of the Unofficial Guide as a gift. Yes, we've done that. It helps first timers understand what they're getting into. And point out the one part you think they'll be most interested in... in Chapter xx you'll find great advice on which attractions are best for younger children (if your nephew is younger). Or in Chapter xx there is great advice on how to tour with a baby. Once they get in, they're hooked. Try it - it works.

Good luck! Here's some Pixie Dust! ixiedust:

 

[Tinkim]

I think as always this is a tough topic. We have traveled to Disney with family and friends and a combination thereof. Only once I took just my kids (which was a totally different experience BTW). Usually, my best friend and her kids go with us. She is a Disney freak like me and wants to see/do everything so that is not a problem.

On our first trip, these were the problems we encoutered. We stayed in a condo and we did get on each other's nerves a bit throughout the week. She had never been to WDW before and we were all attached at the hip. Dragging 10-12 people around Disney was a challenge. Her kids are very slow and dawdle which drove my DH nuts. I don't mean sightseeing kind of dawdling . . . I mean her DD got lost not once but twice kind of dawdling. Her kids don't like any of the rides that are our favorites (and mom isn't much of a thrill seeker either) so this presented a challenge because she didn't want to do a lot of the rides that are "must dos" for us and she didn't want to split up either so there was a lot of waiting around for everyone. She also wanted to hit every gift shop on property which drove DH and my kids crazy. Her DD14 at the time was having a bit of an attitude problem and was less than helpful on that trip also. Really gave her mom a hard time.

Crazy people that we are after me and the kids had our own "special trip" we decided to try it again with my friend and her kids. The second trip went more smoothly. We rented a pool home. Her DD15 had to stay home. We did talk ahead of time about not being attached at the hip since she had gone once but she was still not keen on the idea of wandering the parks alone so most of the time we were still together. She likes me to plan where we will go and likes me to lead the way once we get there. We talked ahead of time about what we wanted to do though and I did convince her to split up a few times. There is no point in them sitting around waiting for us while we ride TOT and RNR as many times as we can before the lines get too long so I insisted they go see Beauty and the Beast which they love. We also split up at Sea World for a bit too so we could ride Kraken a couple of times. This trip was much more enjoyable for everyone.

So we are going again in 46 days (but who's counting?) and they will be coming with us. Don't know if DD17 will be coming this time again because of behavior issues. If she does, I feel the trip will be more stressful for her mom but that is up to her. The twist this time is that I am leaving on 2/24 and returning on 3/4 and they are leaving on 2/25 and returning on 3/6. I absolutely could not get flights on US Air for her at a decent price so she had to go with Continental but couldn't get the same dates. She is terrified of flying and maneuvering the airport on her own and even more terrified of staying on Disney property when my family goes home. I think it is good for her and she needs to do it.

So. . . even though vacationing with friends/family is not always great it can be a lot of fun. If your friend isn't crazy about Disney you could probably stay in the same house but if she wants to stay behind and hang at the pool don't feel bad and go do your Disney thing. My friend's DD8 didn't feel like going to MK the last day we were there and the decision was made to leave them behind. She said she was sick but was playing and swimming all day. I think she just didn't feel like going. I didn't make my kids miss out even though I felt a tiny bit guilty leaving them home. My sweet DH graciously went and picked them up that afternoon because DD was feeling better. When you start giving up the things you enjoy about your vacation to make someone else happy that is when the resentment sets in. Our family enjoys different things than my friend's family and I don't try to just please them because it is our vacation too. As long as you remember that, I think you will be okay.

 

[tedhowe]

For us, other than our honeymoon, we have always travelled to WDW with others... family and/or friends.

The key: we make it clear that we are very open to special events (character meals, fireworks, parades, etc) together, but we are NOT interested in constant touring together. We have enough of a challenge with the two of us and our two daughters.

Most people are okay with this... most will recognize that there is a lot of stress associated with travelling together, and they don't want the stress to be any higher than necessary either.

We are DVC owners and we stay at DVC, typically in the same villa as our guests. Mornings are about the only time that has any real stress for us... we like to leave together and get started in the parks together. Especially when we are travelling with some first timers, we will help them get acclimated to the park, and we'll give them pointers for the first 1 to 3 attractions to see in order to minimize lines.

Typically, then it is "every family for themselves" and we will split up at a convenient time (mid-morning potty break is a good one) with plans to meet back at the villa later in the day.

Other than that, it is everyone for themselves.

We have our next trip in a few weeks with our family, my parents, my DW's parents and her sister, BIL and DNiece (age 2). The 6 day trip has exactly one character meal (at CRT on our first full day) and a Wishes Cruise reserved on our last night. Other than that, it's come when you want, do what you please.

BIL is a fisherman, and he is towing his boat - several days he is going to be fishing the local lakes in the area - not even going to the parks.

The key to successful vacationing together it to talk about expectations and be clear about what role you plan to take in the other family's enjoyment.

I know a lot of people here on DIS are Disney fans and love to PLAN. But, if you don't want to be responsible for the success of their vacation, then DON'T offer to plan everything and be a tourguide. Just offer advice, be open to answering questions, and let them know that they have to understand what their options are and make their own choices.

Ted